FOURTEEN

Kunsel was, as Aerith had said, in his usual spot near the theater. I smiled when I saw him, and his eyes lit up when I walked over to him. He was in his reddish-purple SOLDIER uniform tonight, so he must've only gotten off duty a little while ago. As always, he had left his helmet at home. I had to see that handsome face, after all.

I kissed him. "Thanks for the flowers, Kunsel. They're beautiful."

"You're welcome, Jessie," he gave me his typical wry smile. "I guess Aerith was able to find your place without any trouble. I, uh… hope it's okay that I told her where you live."

"It's fine," I assured him. "I trust her. And you."

"Good! I just wanted you to have something special since tonight's two months since we first met."

I hugged him tight. "I appreciate it. And…"

"Hmm?" he wondered. "Something on your mind?"

My heart beat a little faster as I told him. "Well, I, uh… I think I've got something for you, too. But before that, I'd like to talk for a bit first. There are… things I want to tell you."

He blinked. "What things?"

"About me. Things that you should know before we get much more involved with each other. And… once you hear them, if you decide not to go further with me, I… I'll understand."

"I'm staying with you," Kunsel insisted.

I chuckled. "Well, wait 'till you hear me out first. But how about we go have dinner before we get into all that? I don't know about you, but I'm famished! My treat!"

"Sounds good," he grinned. "Where do you—?"

His warm smile faded as he abruptly cut himself off, and the sound of footsteps filled my ears. I turned around to see who was coming, but it was only Reeve. Something was wrong, though. He hurried over, his expression clearly worried as he walked up to me. I had told him about Kunsel, but he hadn't met him yet. I didn't think he had come out here for an introduction, though.

Kunsel straightened. "Director Tuesti! Sir!"

"At ease," Reeve replied. Then he turned to me. "Jessica, we need to talk. In private. I've found out something that I think you should know. It won't take long, I promise."

A chill ran down my spine. "A-Alright. The alley?"

He nodded. "That should do. And… Kunsel, wasn't it? Wait here, if you would, please. We'll be back soon."

"Yes, sir," Kunsel said.

"It'll be okay," I assured him. I knew he was confused.

He didn't bother hiding it. "I don't know what's going on, but… I'll be here if you need me."

I smiled. "Thanks. Be back in a minute."

With that, I followed Reeve around the corner into the alley by the theater. It was quiet, the soft green glow of the small mako pipes along the base of walls the only light as we went further in. Glancing around to make sure we were really alone, Reeve motioned for me to stop. We stood facing each other about fifty feet into the alley.

"That should be enough," he said. "Don't want anyone overhearing us. Kunsel sounds like a decent man from what you've told me, but I'm guessing he doesn't know who you really are yet."

I shook my head. "No, he doesn't. Not yet. But… I want to tell him. I was thinking of doing it tonight, actually."

"I understand, Jessica. And I do wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you," I smiled. Then it faded as I remembered why I was in here. "So what's going on, Reeve? Has my father—?"

Reeve took my shoulder. "No. He hasn't found you. But…"

I frowned. "But what?"

"Scarlet was in the executive suite last night at the show. I was a bit surprised she would go, but apparently she does come to see it every so often, once or twice a season."

"What!?" My eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yes. I wasn't there myself, otherwise I'd have told you backstage last night. I found out today after one of our meetings when she mentioned it in passing. And you."

I staggered back a step. "Me? W-What did she say?"

"Scarlet talked about your performance, mainly. We have monitors in the executive suite that let us see the stage up close. She thought you looked familiar, but she wasn't sure."

"If she figures out who I am," I stammered, my heart racing. "If she does recognize me sooner or later, then…"

Reeve finished for me. "She'll tell your father."

I moved away a few steps, my hands shaking now. "And he'll come for me. To finish what he tried to do before."

"Try to stay calm, Jessica," Reeve said. "He doesn't know."

"Not yet. But he might still find out. And I was just starting to feel safe, Reeve. Like I could finally move on with my life. But now… it's all in danger. What am I supposed to do?"

He walked up to me. "Nothing, for now. It's too soon, and there's a chance Scarlet won't ever realize it was you. And as you know, she cares more about her weapons than the theater. I'll keep an eye on things, of course. But you should still enjoy your new life."

As I thought about it, I realized he was right. "I guess that's true. It would be crazy to throw away everything I've gained and achieved over something that might never happen. Still, I… I can't help worrying. It's always gonna be in the back of my mind now."

"I know," Reeve said. "But remember, you're not alone."

He was right, of course. I had my friends. Reeve, Cait Sith, Andrea, Aerith, and Kunsel would all be there for me if I needed them. While I was still afraid, I didn't want to stop living my life, either. I was the star of LOVELESS, a young actress doing what I loved more than anything else, and a girl seeing a wonderful guy.

I managed a weak smile. "You're right, Reeve. I'm scared, but that's no reason for me to run and hide. On with the show, as they say. I have too much going for me here to abandon it so easily."

"Yes," he agreed, walking with me back toward the road. "You do at that, Jessica. Far too much."

Kunsel was waiting for us when we got back to the sidewalk, just as patient as I'd known he would be. And as I went to him, I thought of an idea for what we could do for dinner tonight instead of going out. We'd have a chance to talk that way as well, because I wasn't sure I wanted to make him wait until after we'd eaten for an explanation. Not after what I'd just found out from Reeve.

"Everything alright?" Kunsel asked.

I exchanged a glance with Reeve. "It'll be fine. I'll explain in a bit. I know it must've caught you off guard."

"A little," he said.

"I apologize for that," Reeve extended his hand. "I hear good things about you, however. Jessica tells me a great deal."

Kunsel shook it. "Thank you, sir. I do care about her a lot."

I clasped his fingers in mine, needing the contact more now than I had before Reeve's news had thrown me off balance. I hoped that, once I told Kunsel the truth about who I was, he wouldn't leave, and I didn't think he would. But a small sliver of doubt gnawed at me just the same. I was almost afraid to find out how he felt.

Reeve smiled. "I can see that you do, Kunsel. And how happy she is with you. Like I said, we talk fairly often."

"I didn't know you two knew each other," Kunsel said.

I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. There's a lot you don't know about me. But I promise I'll explain. That's what I wanted to talk to you about tonight."

He nodded. "Alright."

"Jessica may need your help at some point," Reeve went on. "I hope I can count on you to be there for her."

"Of course!" Kunsel saluted. "Without question."

Reeve relaxed. "Good. I won't take up any more of your time, then. Enjoy your evening, both of you. And good luck."

With that, he waved and walked away. I watched him leave until he was out of sight. It had been good to see him again despite what he had told me. Although we did talk, it was mostly over the phone. Reeve was as much a public figure as I was, even more so, and he wanted to avoid bringing more attention to me than I already got and causing people to ask questions they shouldn't.

Neither of us wanted people to start wondering why a rising young actress and one of Shinra's highest-ranking executives were so familiar with each other. So he made sure not to see me very often, not publicly, anyway. He'd visit me at home every so often, though, to see how I was doing. But even that he kept to a minimum.

I knew why, of course. Our distance was as much for his protection as it was for mine. The press in Midgar was notoriously nosy. I'd picked up on that pretty quickly over the past few months, especially after me and Kunsel had started dating. We'd been ambushed a few times on the street by photographers and reporters all wanting the scoop on us. So I knew full well that if they ever began to suspect Reeve and I were more than just public acquaintances, they'd either keep digging until they got to the truth, or they'd make up something else from whatever bits they could piece together and claim it was real.

Either way, it could be damaging to both of us, so we kept apart as much as we could. I'd been surprised that Reeve had seen me so openly tonight, but with the news he'd brought, I understood why he'd wanted to tell me personally as soon as possible.

I turned to Kunsel. "I thought we could eat in tonight, at my place. If you don't mind, that is."

"I'd like that," he smiled. "What's for dinner?"

"Pizza! I still haven't made you my Midgar Special yet. Tonight's as good a night as any, wouldn't you say?"

He grinned. "Yeah! Been looking forward to it."

We walked down the street together, hand in hand, until we got to my place. Kunsel had walked me home before, which was how he knew where I lived, but this would be his first time actually going inside. He was a little nervous, and so was I, to be honest. But in spite of all that, I still opened the door and led him upstairs.

"Wow…" he said when he saw my apartment.

I giggled. "First time in a girl's home?"

Kunsel shook his head. "Not really. I've had a girlfriend before. But not in a long time, and not like you."

"Well, you're my first boyfriend," I winked.

"Really?" he wondered.

I nodded as we sat down on the couch. "Yeah. Been on a few dates now and then back before I started at LOVELESS, but not many, and it never really went anywhere."

"Lucky for me, then," Kunsel laughed.

"Me too!" I agreed. "I think I hit the jackpot here."

He kissed me. "I know I sure did."

I thanked him with my lips, pulling him back to me and not letting go, our tongues finding each other for long, endless moments until we had to come up for air. My heart raced, and my skin was tingling as he held me. We went back at it for a bit, our mouths pressing against each other, touching and pulling apart and touching again as my hands slid into his hair while his caressed my waist and lower back. It wasn't until my stomach growled that I finally broke away.

"Guess that means I should get dinner started," I chuckled.

"Need a hand?" Kunsel asked.

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I can handle it. Just relax and make yourself at home, Kunsel."

While he sat on the sofa and did just that, I got up and went to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. It didn't take very long to prepare the pizza, and once I put it in the oven, I took a couple drinks from the fridge, walked back to the couch, and sat down again, nervous as I gave Kunsel his. I took a sip of mine, then started talking.

"Well, I… I guess it's time for me to start opening up, huh?"

He nodded. "Who are you, Jessie?"

I laughed. "Good question. That's the best place to start, I suppose. Jessie Jae isn't my real name. It's a stage name."

"I'm not surprised," he said. "A lot of actors use them."

"That's true, but… mine was for more than just that. My real name is… Jessica Heidegger."

For a moment, he just sat there, not understanding at first. But just a second later, it hit him, and his eyes widened. Kunsel looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. And maybe he was. And at first, he didn't reply. He was trying to take it all in, I knew. I waited, anxious and uncertain, my hands not quite steady.

Then he spoke. "Heidegger… as in General Heidegger? Director of Peace Preservation at Shinra?"

"Yeah," I said. "He… he's my father."

"I'd heard that his daughter mysteriously disappeared around eight or nine months ago. That was you?"

I swallowed. "It was, Kunsel. It was me."

He stared. "What happened? Practically the whole city was looking for you. Reports said you'd been kidnapped."

"Obviously not true," I joked.

"Yeah. I don't believe a lot of what Shinra says."

I gazed wonderingly at him. "Even though you're in SOLDIER?"

He sighed. "Yeah. Did you know, they dropped that story recently? Now they're saying you ran off with a lot of Shinra's secrets and left for Wutai to sell them to the Wusheng."

"Really?" I laughed. "They're pretty inventive, I tell ya."

"No kidding. So what did happen, Jessie? Er… Jessica. Sorry, I just forgot. I'm used to calling you Jessie."

I smiled. "It's okay. And you still can. It's my name now."

"Thanks," Kunsel said. "I like them both."

"Then you can call me either one. As for what really went down… well, I did work for Shinra. Almost four years. And I did have access to some classified information. But I never took any of it with me when I left. When I quit, that is."

Just then, the clock on the stove beeped as the timer went off, and I got up to take the freshly-cooked pizza out of the oven. The wonderful smells of pepperoni, mozzarella, and my own personal seasonings and spices filled the room with their lovely aromas. The scents of the black shelly and red milly were especially strong.

As we sat together at my little kitchen table and ate, I told him a bit more about my background, lighter stuff for now since we were eating and I wanted to save the darker and more difficult parts for afterward. I told Kunsel about Reeve and Cait, how they'd been good friends for a long time, and about my work in Systems Operation and how I'd risen to head of the division by the time I had left. Kunsel listened patiently, letting me go at my own pace as I talked.

When it was over and we had cleared away the dishes, we returned to the sofa. Kunsel had loved the pizza, and I hadn't been able to keep a smile off my face when he started raving about it. I had joked that if he liked it so much, he should kiss the cook for making it. And, of course, he'd done just that, coming up behind me while I was washing dishes at the sink, sliding his arms around me, and putting his lips on mine. We had just stood there like that, and for that one moment, I'd been able to forget about everything else and lose myself in him.

Taking another sip of my drink, I started in on the rest, telling him about my work in Weapons Development, my designs, my dreams, and how I'd been Scarlet's assistant and protégé. I also talked about how she and my father had twisted my work, using it to help destroy Corel and murder the protesters in Reactor 3. How my mom had found out about it all and tried to use what she knew to help us, only to be killed in the Sector 5 train wreck along with so many others.

"And your father was behind it?" Kunsel breathed.

I wiped my eyes, which had been wet for a while now. "Yeah. It was him, Kunsel. He gave the orders. And… he knew I would be with Mom that day at the station. The blast was supposed to kill me, too. If Reeve hadn't saved me, it would have."

He took my hand. "You're hiding from him, aren't you?"

"That's right. I discovered what he had done, him and Scarlet, and so I quit. She shot me on the way out, if you can believe that. Reeve got me away from there and helped me start over. But my father, he knows that I know what he did, I'm sure of it."

"So what did Reeve want tonight?" Kunsel asked.

I told him what Reeve had told me, about Scarlet being at the play and noticing me, thinking that I looked familiar. It wasn't much, but it still worried me. At least for now, she hadn't made the connection, but sooner or later, she or my father might figure it out.

My hands were shaking again. "My father's been looking for me for months, Kunsel. His work keeps him busy, but he's never forgotten and never stopped. Reeve and Cait keep me updated when they can, but… I'm still scared. My father will have me killed if he finds me. He doesn't like loose ends, you know."

"I don't believe it," Kunsel stared. "His own daughter…"

"I've been trying to rebuild my life and move on, but this has hung over me like a shadow the whole time. Now that you know everything, I… I understand if you want to back out, Kunsel. Being with me could be dangerous. And I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. All I ask is that you don't tell anyone who I really am."

At first, he didn't say anything. But then, he took my hands in his, gazing at me with those beautiful, bright blue eyes. Would he stay with me? I wanted that, more than anything. But I was also afraid he would turn away, and I wouldn't have blamed him. I half-expected him to get up and leave right then. When he finally answered, though, I thought I had never heard anything so wonderful in my life.

"I'm not going anywhere," Kunsel gently stroked my cheek. "And I won't let him hurt you, Jessie. That's a promise."

I couldn't believe it. "But if he finds out about you…"

He smiled. "Let me worry about that. I'm in SOLDIER, remember? I can take care of myself."

"You really want to be with me? Even knowing the risks?"

Kunsel touched his lips to mine. "Now more than ever, Jessie. Even with all you've told me, I still feel like the luckiest guy in Midgar. To be able to be with you. And I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I'll be there when you need me. I love you too much to just walk away and leave you to face this alone. I'm in. All the way."

More tears fell from my eyes, but I didn't bother wiping them away. "Really? Do you mean that? You love me?"

"Damn right I do," he said. "I love you, Jessie."

I took his face in both hands and kissed him passionately, so happy at what he'd said and that he wanted to stay with me. As our lips moved against each other, I slid my arms around him while he held me close. I pressed myself against him, heat filling my body as a hunger rose in me that I'd never fed before. I knew what I wanted.

"Kunsel…" I gazed at him, desire and longing burning in my blood like nothing I'd ever known. "Follow me…"

I took him by the hand and guided him into the short hall leading to my bedroom. We kept kissing on the way, and when we got near the door, I stood with my back against the wall and locked lips with him as our hands explored each other. My blood was on fire, and the feeling of his mouth moistening my jaw and neck only made it hotter. I bit lightly on his ear and let out a little moan.

Kunsel's lips kept exploring me. "Jessie, are… are you sure?"

"Absolutely," I breathed, nibbling his lobe. "I… I want this, Kunsel. I need it. I need you."

"But why?" he wondered.

I lifted his face to look in his eyes. "Because I love you, too."

He kissed me again, his tongue swirling out to meet mine. I let him find it, holding him against me as my eyes closed my hands roamed all over him. Kunsel was more than ready, I couldn't resist a grin as I felt it against me, and it made me even hotter than I already was. Time to get things moving along a bit further.

When we went into my room, I broke away from him for a minute and went to my dresser. Opening the top drawer, I took out what I was looking for, kept it folded so Kunsel wouldn't be able to see it, and then smirked at him over my shoulder.

"Just lie down there and relax, okay?" I grinned. "I'm gonna change into something more comfortable."

While Kunsel sat down, took his boots and socks off, and laid back on the bed like I'd suggested, I slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Either Aerith had made a hell of a lucky guess, or she was a lot more perceptive than I'd realized, because I'd already gone and bought this kinky little garment last week. On a whim, really, since I hadn't known if I'd ever get the chance to wear it. But I'd wanted to be ready for when and if Kunsel and I did take this step.

After I had changed, I opened the bathroom door, but slowly so as to draw out the suspense. I peeked out, still hiding most of myself, and winked at Kunsel as he lay with his hands behind his head. He shot up right away, though, as soon as I walked forward a few steps and leaned sinuously against the doorframe.

"Whoa…" he breathed, his eyes wide.

I smiled, happy at how clearly he wanted me. I was wearing a dark blue silk negligee, panties, and nothing else. The straps were as thin as spaghetti, and the whole thing was trimmed in lace and very short, just barely reaching past my hips to the tops of my thighs. It was also sheer, just transparent enough to give him a tantalizing glimpse of what I had in store for him. My heart was pounding like a bass drum that had lost control, but I was also exhilarated and very aroused.

"Happy two months, tiger," I purred. "See something you like?"

He nodded. "Hell yeah…"

Fixing him with the steamiest stare I could muster, I wove my way slowly toward the bed, put my hands on the end, and climbed in. I kept my eyes locked on Kunsel as I slid up to him on my hands and knees as if I were a cat in heat. And maybe I was. When I finally reached him, I took him in my arms, pressed my lips fervently against his, and pushed him back onto the pillows. I fell on top of him, my tongue diving right into his mouth, and smothered him with kisses. Kunsel returned them, his lips meshing lovingly with mine.

Our hands drifted over each other again, but I noticed he kept his off certain parts of my body. I knew he was trying to be respectful, not to mention he was probably just as nervous as I was and didn't want to seem too eager. But I wanted him to relax and be comfortable with me, so I took one of his hands and put it firmly on my breast.

"Have fun," I teased, kissing him again.

He didn't hesitate, kneading and rubbing as I slid my hands inside his sleeveless tunic. I mewled softly at the sweet spikes of heat shooting through me from Kunsel's touch. The fabric was thin enough that I felt every little motion of his fingers, and it allowed him to get a good grip on what was underneath. Oh, it was heavenly, my skin tingling as I felt his gentle caress through the soft silk.

Pulling away from his mouth for a minute, I pushed up his tunic as far as I could, exposing a lovely, muscled chest, firm and toned and just begging for me to explore it. Kunsel let go of me and took over, pulling it up over his head and tossing it onto the floor. When his hands came back to me, he took both of my curves this time, rubbing and kneading them as if they were soft dough.

Then I gasped in pleasure and delight when Kunsel slipped a hand inside my negligee, moved it slowly up my chest, and closed it over me directly, skin to skin. If I had thought the things he had done when he'd been on the outside had been good, the shocks of warmth that coursed through me as he fondled me on the inside were incredible. I purred in a long, low husky breath as little volts of heat sizzled into my brain and made the growing pressure between my legs even deeper.

Letting my own hands roam across Kunsel's chest, I smiled and did a little playing of my own, loving the sounds he made as I trailed kisses up his sternum toward his jaw and mouth. I pressed myself down upon him, wanting to feel him under me as I locked my lips with his. Then I sat up, the flames of desire burning hotly in me as all my nerve endings felt overly sensitive and alive and my heart hammered against my ribs. Taking a deep breath, I reached up and slowly pushed the straps of my negligee down past my elbows, then I lifted my arms out entirely. After that, I took hold of my garment from the bottom.

"Ready for more?" I whispered.

Kunsel took my face in his hands and kissed me. "You know it."

Smiling, I pulled the blue silk upward.

When it was all over, we lay, panting and exhausted, in each other's arms under the sheets, our bodies coated in sweat. I rested my head on Kunsel's chest and listened to his heart beating. I loved that sound, and I shared a kiss with him as my body still smoldered with the embers of the fierce and fiery pleasure he'd brought me.

He'd been so concerned for me when he had first broken through, even though I'd told him just before we started that it was my first time doing this. I had gritted my teeth against it, knowing it had to be done, but it had still hurt a bit, like a really hard pinch. I had assured Kunsel I was okay, though, pressing my lips against his, sliding my hands down under his back, and pushing him into me.

And as he had eased his way in—slowly at first but then picking up speed later on—the pain had subsided before long and had been lost in a steadily growing wave of sweet fire. It had eventually exploded into a furious climax that had left my whole body quivering with ecstasy as I had cried out, long and loud and gasping for breath, before smothering Kunsel with my lips and tongue. He had finished in the midst of it, the wonderful sound of him breathing my name as he released making my heart flutter and my pleasure flare even hotter.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

I snuggled closer to him. "Just… feel different, I suppose. In a good way, mind you. I'm not a… well, you know… anymore."

Kunsel lightly stroked my bare back. "You don't regret it?"

"Nope!" I smiled. "I feel lucky that I got to lose it to you. A guy that loves me so much. Not every girl gets that chance."

"I'm glad you chose me, Jessie," he said.

I kissed him. "There's no one else I want, Kunsel. Just you."

He covered my lips with his. "Same here. No matter what happens, I'll be there. We'll face it together."

"Thanks. I'm still a little scared, but knowing that you're here with me makes it easier. As long as I have you, I can keep on going. I'll keep living my life, and with you in it, I know I'll be fine."

"I'm not leaving," Kunsel promised.

I hugged him and sighed happily. "Aerith was right about you."

He smiled. "What'd she say?"

"She told me you'd stand by me," I chuckled. "And you did, Kunsel. Guess I have an 'I told you so,' coming."

"Probably," he agreed.

I stifled a yawn. "So, you gotta be on duty early in the morning? Or you do start later?"

"Tomorrow's a late shift," he answered.

I'd been hoping he'd say that. "Oh, nice! We'll get to sleep in, then. I don't have rehearsal until the afternoon."

"You're asking me to spend the night?" he marveled.

"I think I just did," I said.

He pretended to think it over. "Hmm… go back alone to my place or stay here with the woman I love? Tough call…"

I laughed. "Well?"

"I'll stay, Jessie," Kunsel kissed me.

"In that case…" I moved my mouth against his as I rolled on top of him, my blood heating up. "Don't expect to get much sleep tonight. I'll be keeping you pretty busy for a while."

His tongue found mine. "Ready when you are."

"Good," I winked. "Enjoy the ride."