Now for a break in the action where we see what two particular Hazbin Hotel characters being stranded on a desert island would be like.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Pirates of the Caribbean or Vivziepop.
Chapter 14: Marooned Again
(Charlie walks out of the water and onto the beach of the island. She turns around and sees Alastor coming out the water behind her. They both look out at the sea and gaze at the Black Pearl getting smaller on the horizon.)
Alastor: (somberly) That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship.
(He sits down in the sand and inspects his gun to make sure it can still work. Charlie starts waking down the shoreline and circles around the island to find any signs of life. She soon comes back to where she started not finding anything.)
Alastor: It's really not all that big, is it?
(Alastor has disassembled his pistol and drys it off in his red scarf. He then starts to put it back together.)
Charlie: (bitterly) If You going to shoot me, please do so without delay.
Alastor: Is there a problem between us, Miss Magne?
Charlie: You were going to tell Pentious about Vaggie in exchange for a ship!
Alastor: (upset) We could use a ship. The fact is, I was going to NOT tell Pentious about Vaggie in exchange for a ship, because as long as he didn't know about Vaggie, I had something to bargain with. Which now no one has, thanks to stupid Vaggie.
Charlie: Oh.
Alastor: Yes. "Oh".
(He finishes with his pistol and starts to head inland.)
Charlie: (determined) She still risked his life to save ours. So we have to do something to rescue her!
Alastor: Off you go, then. Let me know how that turns out.
(He keeps walking and Charlie follows right behind him.)
Charlie: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then!
(Alastor stops to face her.)
Alastor: To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone. And unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice, unlikely, young Miss Turner will be dead long before you can reach her.
(He approaches a layer of sand with palm trees. He puts his ear against the trunk of of a tree and knocks on it. Then he takes big slow steps across the sand. Charlie doesn't notice his odd behavior and keeps talking.)
Charlie: But you're Captain Alastor Sparrow! You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the Limbo Trading Company! You sacked Loo Loo port without even firing a shot!
(Alastor stops on a spot on the sand and jumps on it. He feels something hollow underneath. Charlie looks at him with intrigue.)
Charlie: Are you the pirate I've read about or not? How did you escape last time?
(Alastor hesitates before answering.)
Alastor: (embarrassingly) Last time... I was here a grand total of three days, all right?
(He lifts up a hatch in the sand and reveals a secret compartment in the ground.)
Alastor: Last time, the rumrunners used this island as a cache. They came by and I was able to barter passage off.
(He goes down and finds barrels and bottles of rum that have been there for a long time.)
Alastor: From the looks of things, they've long been out of business.
(He grabs some bottles and goes back out.)
Alastor: Probably have your bloody friend von Eldritch to thank for that.
(Charlie stares at him in disbelief and disappointment.)
Charlie: So that's it, then? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Alastor Sparrow? You spent three days lying on the beach drinking rum?
Alastor: (smirks) Welcome to the seas of Hell, my dear.
(He hands her a bottle and walks away. She follows him back to the shore.)
Charlie: So! Is there any truth to the other stories?
Alastor: (ominously) Truth?
(He rolls up the sleeves on his shirt and reveals some big scars on his arms. He also pulls down his shirt collar and reveals two scars in the shape of bullet holes on his shoulder.)
Alastor: No truth at all!
(Charlie is slightly disturbed by his scars. He sits down in the sand.)
Alastor: (calmly) We'll stay alive a month, maybe more. Keep a weather eye open for passing ships, and our chances are fair.
Charlie: And what about Vaggie? We have to do something!
Alastor: You're absolutely right.
(He opens his bottle and holds it up.)
Alastor: (humbly) Here's luck to you, Vaggie Turner!
(He starts drinking. Charlie turns away from him and looks at her bottle in disgust. Then she gets an idea. She sits down beside him and starts singing softly.)
Charlie: Drink up me hearties, yo ho...
Alastor: (curious) What was that, Charlie?
Charlie: It's Miss Magne. And nothing. Just a song I learned as a child when I actually thought it would be exciting to meet a pirate.
Alastor: Let's hear it.
Charlie: No.
Alastor: Come on. We've got the time. Let's have it!
Charlie: (stubbornly) No. I'd have to have a lot more to drink.
Alastor: (grins) How much more?
(Later at night, the two dance around a big campfire on the beach holding rum bottles and singing happily and drunkenly.)
Alastor/Charlie: We're devils, we're black sheep, we're really bad eggs. Drink up me hearties, yo ho. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
Alastor: I LOVE this song.
(Charlie laughs as they link their arms together and spin around.)
Alastor: Really bad eggs. Oohh!
(He stumbles and falls on the ground. He pulls Charlie down to sit next to him.)
Alastor: When I get the Pearl back, I'm going to teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!
Charlie: And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Nine Circles!
Alastor: (solemnly) Not just the Nine Circles, my dear. The entire ocean... the entire world of Hell. Wherever we want to go, we go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails. That's what a ship needs. But what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom.
(Charlie lays her head on his shoulder.)
Charlie: (sympathetic) Alastor, it must be really terrible for you to be trapped on this island.
(Alastor smiles and puts his arm around her.)
Alastor: (softly) Ah, yes... but the company is infinitely better than last time, and the scenery has definitely improved.
(She moves away and looks at him also smiling.)
Charlie: Mr. Sparrow. I'm not entirely sure I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.
Alastor: I know exactly what you mean, sweetheart.
(Charlie raises her bottle.)
Charlie: To freedom!
Alastor: To the Black Pearl!
(They clink bottles and drink. Charlie however, makes it look like she's about to drink and then stops when Alastor's not looking at her as she was faking being drunk. Alastor on the other hand, really is drunk and chugs his entire bottle until it's empty and he passes out on the beach.)
(The next morning, Alastor lies down on the beach mumbling in his sleep. He suddenly wakes up to the smell of smoke. He gets up and sees Charlie by the secret cache where there's now a big pile of casks burning. The fire has spread to the palm trees and releases smoke high into the sky. Charlie throws another barrel onto the fire and it blows up and burns immediately. Alastor runs over panicking.)
Alastor: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing!? You've burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Charlie: Yes, the rum is gone.
Alastor: Why's the rum gone?
(She looks him in the eye and glares at him.)
Charlie: (sternly) One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think that there's even the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Alastor: (distraught) But why is the rum gone?
(Charlie turns around, sits down on the sand and stares out at the sea.)
Charlie: Just wait, Captain Sparrow. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a "weather eye open" and you will see white sails on that horizon!
(Alastor pulls out his pistol. He hand shakes as he almost points it at her. Then he frantically puts it away and runs off. He paces along the shore on the other side of island fuming.)
Alastor: (imitating Charlie) "Must have been terrible for you to be trapped here, Alastor. Must have been terrible".
(He turns to face the tower of smoke in the distance.)
Alastor: (enraged) Well, it sure is now!
(He keeps walking and stops as he sees a large ship with white sails anchored just out in the sea. He recognizes it as the Dauntless. A rowboat that came from it heads to the island. He stares in disbelief that Charlie's plan actually worked.)
Alastor: (mutters) There'll be no living with her after this.
Well, that was a pretty funny scenario between the two of them. Next we start the final act of the story.