Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Written: 2019 - Licia

Elsa didn't return to the Northulda for two days.

She spent the majority of her time in her library in her palace at Atohallan, scanning through book after book, looking for anything that could tell her about connection. She knew that it was something along the lines of emotions and the chemistry of the brain, but other than that, she found nothing. She had spent the rest of her time traversing the rocky crags in her bare feet, the wind whipping the long strands around her head. She has spent those two nights watching the stars glitter over head, and wishing she could remember what was so important, because it was important, from the knots in the pit of her stomach.

When finally she decided to return, she didn't know what to expect; it was unreasonable to expect the man to be gone. He'd been too badly injured- obvious internal bleeding, cuts, bruises, a head injury, a broken, if not shattered, leg- and that was what she could see. God only knew the multitude of internal injuries that he suffered from.

She let her thoughts wander as the Nokk too brought her back across the sea to the forest, the steady movement of the water horse as it traversed the sea beneath her, keeping her grounded, but not too. It didn't make sense. There was nothing in any of her books that spoke of human connection- nothing concrete anyway. The majority were philosophical at best; they spoke of the splitting of a soul into two separate bodies, which therein constituted the 'soulmates'. It was a theory that held no ground, as far as she was concerned.

But you and Anna are soulmates. The tiny voice in her head objected.

No, we're not, we're sisters. Sisters are not soulmates; they're siblings. They come from the same family, share similar, if not distinctly different, blood, but none the less, are related. She grunted in annoyance of the argument taking place in her own head, and dug her heels into the Nokk's sides, unaware that she was spurring him on faster. Ryder and Honeymaren are the same. A sibling does not equal a soulmate.

The waves crashed and roared around them; the Nokk, as connected as he was with Elsa, shaped the sea they galloped through. He took her unaware command and quickened his pace, forcing the water to swirl and crash harder. She was so preoccupied with her own thoughts, that she didn't notice the wave crashing over them.

She came up sputtering and gasping for air in the harshest waves of the Dark Sea. At some point, she lost sight of the Nokk, and did all she could to keep her head above water. That was one thing she could never wrap her head around- that even though she was now a spirit, she still needed to eat, drink and apparently had the need to breathe after being underwater for too long. For all her research, she had found nothing about spirits of any plane- elemental or otherwise- needing food, water and air to maintain themselves. It almost felt as though she hadn't lost all of her physical body after all.

"Nokk! Nokk!" She returned her hands to the sea; she could only tread water for so long. Thinking quickly, the cast an arm out, creating a slab of ice that she was able to swim over too. As she climbed atop it, she had flashbacks of the night she tamed the Nokk, and the fight he'd put up. "What are you doing? Leaving me in the middle of the Dark Sea?" She lay back against the ice, catching her breath. She supposed she could just let her ice sheet drift; eventually, she'd end up back with the Northuldra.

Eventually.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "Nokk. Nokk, please! I'm sorry!" She swallowed. "I'm sorry, okay! I should have realized! I know better now than to let my emotions overwhelm me, because then they overwhelm you! Please!"

Elsa had learned in her first year at the Fifth Spirit that her connection with the Nokk was stronger than the others because they were both water-based. Not only that, but both were tied deeply to emotion- or at least, that's what Elsa suspected. "After all, Ancient Greek myth claimed that the roiling waves of the sea were Poseidon voicing his displeasure. Supposedly." She sat up, looking around, watching as the waters began to calm. She searched for the Nokk, but found no sign-

A scream escaped her as she suddenly catapulted off her sheet of ice, high into the air, landing several feet away in the water. She gasped for air as she came back up, quickly looking around. The waters began to roil again, and she quickly looked around. No sign of the Nokk.

Until it kicked her in the chest from underwater, sending her crashing into the waves not far away. As she landed back in the water, she caught sight of it's bright blue eyes in the distance, and hurried to break the surface. She never got the chance to do it herself. Instead, the Nokk grabbed her by the sleeve, and did as he'd done the first time they'd met, dragging her through the water, forcing her to hold her other arm before her face to block the water before they even broke through for air. As they finally managed to break the surface, Elsa conjured the bridle and reigns, catching the Nokk and managing to pull herself up onto its back just as they returned to the surface fully. Spent from her time in the water, she lay against the horse's mane, the reigns loosely held in her hands as she caught her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that the waters were calm now, and she groaned softly in annoyance.

"You did that on purpose." The horse whinnied, as if proud of itself, and continued on. Because the water spirit was so volatile, like the element it represented, it was often easy for Elsa to discern when the horse was having fun, and when it was truly angry. This? This little game of bucking bronco was the former. "You know I hate when you mess with me like that."

Again, the horse whinnied, punctuating it with a snort.

Eventually, Elsa sat up; the sea was now completely calm, all traces of the storm or their roughhousing gone. From what Elsa could understand of the Nokk, he was as old as time, though he still acted like an overexcited foal on occasion. After a moment, she reached down, gently patting the horse's neck. As they got closer and closer to land, Elsa took the reigns in one hand and leaned over, the side to meet the horse's eye. She nodded towards the shore. "We're gonna be there pretty quick. You ready?" It neighed,and she rested her forehead against it, placing her free hand on its muzzle are much as she dared, and resting her other hand against its neck to keep her balance. The last thing she needed was to fall off, back into the sea while trying to frost the water horse.

Its hooves hit the shore, and sped up at her gentle urging. Gale soon tugged at her hair, and the hem of her dress, and Elsa chuckled. "Nokk decided to play." The horse seemed to snort in pride, and Elsa rolled her eyes, turning her face to the breaking dawn. The sky started to streak in soft hues of pink and orange, and she sighed. It was times like this, when it was just her, the Nokk and Gale, dashing across land and sea, headed for the unknown...

And to think, there was a period where you thought going into the unknown was dangerous. Well, you were right, it was, but you're stronger than ever. You are a goddess among men, the controller of the elements; the human race bows to you. But you are no longer going into the unknown, you are the unknown. She lowered her head, the tiny voice in her head hitting a nerve. She knew it was right, of course. Ancient civilizations viewed the five elements as gods among men, for only gods could do what the elements did.

And what did Kirstoff call you the last time you were over for dinner? Oh, yeah, the All Powerful Snow Queen of Arendelle, Guardian of Ahtohallan and the Enchanted Forest, Keeper of the Balance, Goddess of Spirit, Commander of the Elements. Anna's bumbling idiot of a fiance was actually right, for once. It wasn't that she didn't like Kristoff, but she had so little experience with men that she didn't know what to do with them or how to act, so she often came off cold or callous around the ice harvester. "Kristoff isn't an idiot. He... he loves Anna." She breathed, an ache of loneliness beginning in her chest. Gale nudged her, confused, and Elsa waved it away. "Nothing, Gale."

By the time they reached the Enchanted Forest, Elsa had cast the snide, cynical, jealous voice in her head out for the day. The leaves fluttered softly, and Elsa tugged gently on the reigns to get the Nokk to stop. They stood at the four gigantic runes signifying the four elements of nature. After a moment, Elsa slid off the Nokk, making her way to each and resting her forehead and hands against each stone. It had become part of her routine, whenever she returned from Ahtohallan, to stop at the runes and give her silent thanks for the night before. She couldn't explain why she did it, she just knew she had to.

When finally, she stepped back and climbed back atop the Nokk, dawn had arrived, and she knew the camp would be just starting to rise and go about their day. Gently digging her heels into the horse's sides, they took off at a soft gallop, coming upon the Northuldra camp in a matter of minutes, Gale at their backs. They stopped at the entrance of the camp, and surveying the scene. From her vantage point, she scanned the earth, searching for something-

And then suddenly, there it was; a streak of lilac-pink darting into the camp. She grinned, and got down from the Nokk. With a bow to the horse which it returned, she turned, making her way towards the small salamander zipping about the camp, putting small fires out on occasion. A moment passed, before Elsa knelt, holding out a hand. "Bruni."

The little salamander poked his head out of the hearth from the main cooking fire, and upon seeing Elsa, turned and hissed, before bounding out and rushing into her hands. "Oh! Ow, hot! Ouch!" She hissed softly, gently tossing the small salamander from hand to hand before he finally settled down with a contented sigh. With a soft giggle, she lifted a hand, generating a small cluster of snowflakes that the salamander quickly and eagerly lapped up. "It's good to see me, isn't it?"

He simply squeaked, and Elsa looked up as the Northulda began coming out from the huts. Bruni quickly scampered up Elsa's arm to her shoulder, sat for a couple minutes, and then darted up into her hair. With a soft gasp of annoyance, the young woman reached up to grab the little fire spirit, only to pull her hand back with a yip at the heat. "Ouch!" She sucked quickly on her finger, rolling her eyes at the mischievous little fire starter before turning her attention to Yelena, who had stood watching the interaction between the two spirits.

The chief was glad that Elsa was so comfortable around the spirits; to be honest, she'd been amazed that Elsa had tamed the small fire spirit that quickly. And Bruni, as Elsa called him, clearly adored the young woman. With a chuckle, she made her way towards the woman in question. "You know he only acts like that when you stay at Ahtohallan." Elsa looked up at her, lips thinning, and nodded.

"I know, I just... I needed space." Yelena nodded, understanding, to an extent. But she also knew that something else was going on, and she had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with their guest. She watched Elsa's gaze dart towards her own hut, and the older woman followed her gaze.

"He is resting."

"How bad is it?" Elsa asked, oblivious to the rest of the camp going about the start of their day. Yelena sighed, before turning and walking back to the hut; Elsa fell into step beside her.

"A gash upon his forehead, several bruises, a broken rib, his leg was broken in two places, from what the healer can decipher; we believe he was lashed at with a sword at some point." Elsa listened to the extensive list of injuries. Things had been pretty dire that day; she was amazed his leg hadn't been crushed.

"I'm sorry, what did you say, Yelena?" She looked up, drawn from her reverie by the older woman's voice. The older woman smiled softly.

"There is more, Elsa. He has... scars. Cuts that look like they have been there for years, as though he were tortured." Elsa paled, empathy going out to the man. Bruni shifted in her hair, but she didn't notice.

"Torture?" After a moment, she turned to her hut, slowly making her way to the entrance and peeking in; lay on his back, stripped of his shirt, cloth bound tightly around his ribs, and his leg set in a splint. The gash on his head was cleaned and protected, but in the early morning dawn, he looked worse for wear.

"There is one more thing, Spirit." Elsa nodded; Yelena only ever truly used her title when it was important enough for Elsa to listen, to get her attention and keep it. Carefully, Yelena crept into Elsa's hut, going to where the man's shirt lay folded in a corner. She rummaged for something and then, finding it, left the hut and the man sleeping within. Elsa glanced at Yelena as the woman held the object out to her. "This was found wrapped around the leg that was pinned beneath the wagon. We are not really sure what it means, but perhaps you would know."

Slowly, Elsa took it, studying the material. It was long and cut like a banner. The colors were split- green and purple with a yellow crocus. She gasped softly. "Arendelle." Yelena raised an eyebrow. "This is Arendelle's crest, my crest. It's one of the banners that was hung in the city for my coronation as queen, but after my coronation, after the Great Thaw, all the banners were removed-" She stopped, something sparking in her brain. She tried to remember that long ago disaster of a day.

You gave banners to each of the visiting dignitaries and representatives, as souvenirs of your coronation. Slowly, she turned back to the hut, yanking the flap of the tent up, and peering inside. The man slept soundly, unaware of her staring. She studied him; she wasn't sure if the niggling feeling in the back of her brain was right or not, but something was telling her this man had been at her coronation. But her coronation- disaster as it was- had been five years ago, and she knew she couldn't recall everyone that had been in attendance.

The man shifted in his sleep, wincing, and after a moment, Elsa stepped inside, still holding onto the banner. She knelt down, intending to check on him, but couldn't help studying him instead. Though sound asleep, he was restless; his broad shoulders and chest sported scars and... were those burns? His cheeks were thin, his hair long and unkempt but not unclean, as though he'd been kept somewhere for a very long time. But as she gazed at him, trying to figure out who he was and how he got her coronation banner, she noticed something else.

Sideburns.

"May I have this dance, Your Majesty?" A prince, not much older than her, who she'd turned away when he'd asked her to dance-

"No, it can't be-" Her breathy reply was soft; the brush of her breath on his cheeks aroused him from his slumber, and Elsa soon found herself looking into a familiar pair of green eyes. Their gazes locked. Unaware that she'd leaned so close, she breathed, "H... Hans?"

He stared at her for several minutes, before the soft whisper clicked, and in a raspy voice, he asked, "Elsa? What are you doing here?"