Rifiuto: Non Miriena
A/N: I hope everyone's handling this lock down okay. We're all doing fine here; as fine as we can be. Good think for fan fiction, right?
So we've got a couple mysteries going on now, don't we? Elsa's 'possible' death, Hans's arrival and subsequent injuries, and now the box. And that's just the beginning. She wraps a lot into one book, so be prepared. And as you can obviously tell, Elsa in this is very much... she very much relies on literature and philosophy and general book knowledge, versus Anna, who, in this- as you'll see at some point, but not right now- is more along the common sense and reading people knowledge, something Elsa has always had trouble grasping, especially since she spent the first thirteen years of her life isolated. Don't worry, Elsa won't bury herself so deep in her books the whole time, there will be things that come up and secrets that are exposed that will force her hand, so that she has to expose more and more of herself- ie, her emotions. And Hans plays a huge part; he is carrying a secret, after all. One that will definitely cause him to butt heads with Elsa on more than one occasion. This IS Hans/Elsa, after all, but it's going to be a very slow, slow burn.
Zani didn't want to rush things (even though she wrote this in two days), because there's a lot to unwrap and figure out. Zani called this her multi-layer cake, and we're only on the first couple of layers. I think it's her favorite of all the stories she's written for the site so far, especially because she tends to have so much trouble writing mystery and suspense.
Written: 2019 - Licia
She set the box down gently on the desk, her gaze flicking to her letter to Anna. Something told her that she had to finish it, for Anna hadn't heard from her in at least two weeks, and she'd start to worry, if she wasn't worried already. She turned her attention back to the box, weighing her options. Finally making a decision, she picked up the letter, opened the drawer in her desk, placed it inside, and then shut the drawer, locking it and slipping the key back into the small box that sat in the corner of her desk. There, now you have one less distraction.
A wince passed through her body; the last thing she hated thinking was that Anna was a distraction. She hated thinking anything about Anna; she was her little sister, and she loved her deeply. Anna had loved her when no one else had, had supported her when everyone else turned their backs on her. Anna had always and would always love her, because they were sisters, and sisters meant unconditional love.
You're my sister, Elsa, I love you. I will never look at you like a monster. Never.
And she hadn't, not once, not even during that disastrous coronation of hers. Hell, she'd trekked clear up to the Northern mountain to get her and bring her home, at risk to her own life. And then you froze her heart. She winced again. But she didn't abandon you, even then, she still tried to save you, to bring you back to Arendelle, and in the end, she froze to death for you.
She sighed. Anna had saved her from Hans's sword that day-
Her countenance darkened. Hans.
Blue eyes flicked down to the box on the desk. That smug, smarmy, self-righteous, egotistical, philandering, bastard. Oh, just the thought of him made her so... angry. If it wasn't for Hans, Elsa would have never run, she never would have frozen Anna's heart, never would have-
Never would have what? The small voice in the back of her head reasoned. Never would have discovered that Anna truly loved you, that you could have the relationship you always wanted with her? Never would have discovered who you truly are if you hadn't gone running off to the North Mountain, or broken the curse that trapped the Enchanted Forest, and discovered who you truly are? She groaned in annoyance. You're the Fifth Spirit, the Guardian of Ahtohallan, the Bridge between the two worlds. If it hadn't been for Hans, you wouldn't have become the queen you were, you wouldn't have-
She shook her head. No. I would have still been a great queen, regardless of whether that egotistical bastard-
You were weak. And you know it. You would have been a weak ruler if Hans hadn't done what he did during the Great Freeze.
"Shut up!" She lashed out, ice blasting out of her palm and striking the window of the library. She stepped back, stunned. The last time she'd lost her temper like that-
Without a word, she sank heavily onto the sofa, wrapping her arms around herself. It took several minutes for her to calm herself down, and when she did, the small, snarky voice in her head had silenced, leaving her in relative peace, for the time being. After a moment, she stood, stalking from the library and down the stairs, towards the small kitchen. At first, a kitchen had seemed out of sorts for an ice palace, but after the first couple of days, she realized that she liked the comfort and familiarity, and so modeled it after the kitchens in the palace at Arendelle, albeit much smaller. On autopilot, she grabbed a mug and a sachet of tea, before grabbing the kettle. With flick of the wrist, she filled it with ice, and then set it over the flames in the hearth before taking a seat at the small table to wait for it to boil.
She sighed, something niggling at the back of her brain. Yelena had told her once, when she'd refused to eat, that it may be her decision to take food or not, but in the end, it would only be doing her harm to turn it away. "You are just like everyone else, Spirit, you need to eat to survive."
"Wait, so... does that mean I'm human? I didn't die in Ahtohallan that day?"
Yelena had simply shrugged, refusing to answer. Instead, she'd changed the topic. "You are more than just the Fifth Spirit, you are the bridge between our worlds. It is your duty to protect the forest and keep the balance between the elements, to protect-"
"The people, all the people, from here to Arendelle-"
"No, not Arendelle." Yelena's reply had been sharp, startling. "You can do no more for Arendelle than they can do for you."
"But I am the queen. Regardless of whether I abdicated in favour of my sister or not, I am still the queen, I will always be the queen-"
"You are no longer a queen, Spirit, you are a goddess."
"Goddess? No. My mother was the princess of the Northuldra, and Queen of Arendelle by marriage. I am Queen of Arendelle and Princess of the Northuldra by right of my birth-"
"Be that as it may, Spirit, you are also a goddess." The chief had sighed, reaching out and taking her arm. "Elsa, you must understand. You are what Great Mother spoke of. When Great Mother created the Northuldra, she spoke of a child. A little girl, that would be born of two opposing sides, gifted with powers the powers of the ancients, who would grow to become the Guardian of Ahtohallan and the Protector of the Enchanted Forest, who would not know her true purpose until she had taken the crown of her father and gone on a journey in search of her mother. This young woman would break the curse placed on the Forest and tame the spirits, discover the secret of her parents and obtain her full powers, becoming the Goddess of the Elements, who will have full control over the elements of nature and bridge the gap between the physical world and the elemental. This child, this girl born of two enemies, of two worlds, is to be the Fifth Spirit. Great Mother foresaw your arrival before the Northuldra walked the earth."
"Great Mother? You mean Mother Nature?"
Yelena had simply shrugged, reaching up to brush a strand of hair off the Elsa's cheek. "She has many names, and we respect her, as we respect you and the other spirits."
"But Yelena, I don't under-"
The shrieking of the tea kettle tore her from the memory, and she stood, removing it and quickly pouring a cup. The chief had been particularly mystical and cryptic that day, and left Elsa with nothing but more questions than answers. As if I don't need any more of those. I've got enough questions already, I didn't need anymore to try to answer.
Without a word, she left the kitchen and returned to the library, setting her cup on the small end table, gaze automatically going to the box on her desk. Taking a deep breath, she went over, picking up a letter opener and sliding it into the lock. She struggled for several minutes before finally giving up and with a shriek of annoyance, she slammed the letter opener down. Clearly she couldn't jimmy it open with something, but perhaps...
Thinking quickly, she conjured a flurry of snowflakes, directing them at the latch, leaving it for a few minutes before taking a candlestick and smashing the ice. Setting the candlestick back down, she moved to lift the lid-
Only to find it wouldn't open.
Clearly it was as frozen as her ice. With a grunt of annoyance, she shoved the box aside, stalking towards the shelves. She browsed the shelves for nearly two hours, finding nothing about mysterious gypsy boxes or conjoined heralds. By the time she'd given up, her tea had gone cold, and she was tired, both physically and mentally. Leaving the box in the library, she trudged up the stairs to her room, shutting the door softly behind her. With a flick of the wrist, she changed into a pair of pajamas made of frost and snow, and crawled beneath the covers, shifting to look out the window. Darkness was finally settling over the world, casting everyone into slumber, and soon she followed, but her sleep would be anything but restful.
"Do you think the forest will wake again?"
"Only Ahtohallan knows."
"Ahta-who-what?"
"When I was little, my mother would sing a song about a special river called Ahtohallan. That was said to hold all the answers about the past, about what we are apart of."
"Will you sing it for us? Please?"
"Okay, cuddle close, skooch in. 'Where the north wind meets the sea, there's a river full of memory. Sleep my darlings, safe and sound, for in this river all is found...'"
In her sleep, she began to cry, curling around herself as she cuddled against her mother in her memories. Though her sleep was fitful, her body was just tired enough to not protest as the memories of Iduna came floating back to the surface. Perhaps it was her connection to Ahtohallan, her role as the guardian, as the Fifth Spirit, or her magic, but this particular memory had been waiting, just below the surface, to return. It was the last happy memory she had of her mother, before she'd been locked away, forced into the isolation that would define her life.
Her mother's voice sang to her, giving her the warning that she should have heeded that long ago day when she first came to Ahtohallan. But she hadn't; her stubbornness to find the truth and her natural curiosity had led her deeper and deeper into the depths of the glacier, until she'd stepped off the path, and sealing her own fate. And yet, she'd also discovered the truth of the forest, and the betrayal that Arendelle had done to the Northuldra, the reason for the battle, and the answer to the forest being sealed for thirty-four years.
At the cost of her own life.
"No... what's... Anna..."
She curled tighter around herself, beginning to shiver as she relived the moment she began to freeze, the realization that she'd gone too far and would now pay for her curiosity. The ice had skittered across her skin like ants over an anthill; it had seemed to freeze her from the inside out, coating her lungs and heart until she couldn't breathe-
"No!"
With a sob, she bolted upright in bed, grabbing for the stitch in her chest. It took her several minutes to calm down, to get her breathing back under control, and she quickly scrambled out of bed, stumbling in front of the small fireplace at the other side of the room. She sat back, arms wrapped around herself as her breathing slowly returned to normal. She quickly checked her hands, onto to find them free of ice. With a sigh, she lowered her head, before curling up in front of the fire; soft sobs soon escaped her, but she didn't try to stop.
How can I not have died that day when I felt my heart stop? Or was it just my imagination?