Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Written: 2019 - Licia

"So you will actually be eating tonight, Els-" Honeymaren stopped as her gaze landed on Elsa's dress- or what remained of her dress. "What did you-"

"Do not worry about it, Honeymaren." Elsa whispered, grudgingly accepting the bowl of stew the older girl held out to her. "Thank you."

"Well it's about time you eat with us instead of hiding out at Ahtohallan." The girl replied, filling another bow. A blush crept over the paler girl's cheeks, but she tried not to meet the other girl's dark eyes.

"I don't hide. I'm its guardian, it's my job to protect it-"

"But not all the time. Elsa, it's an ancient, mystical glacier, it doesn't need your protection all day and all night."

"Well I don't need to stay here all day and all night either, especially-" She stopped, and the older girl raised a dark eyebrow. She pushed a second bowl into Elsa's hands. "What's this?"

"Take it to him." Honeymaren jerked her head back to Elsa's hut. "He needs to eat as much as you do." Blue eyes narrowed in suspicion, before she finally moved past, making her way back to her hut. Lifting the flap, she stepped back into the hut, unaware Yelena and Honeymaren were watching with interest.

Hans's eyes opened as the hut flap dropped back into place, watching as Elsa came over and knelt beside him, holding two bowls. She set one down, before holding the other out to him. "Here." She helped him to sit up, handing him the bowl once he was settled back against the blankets and furs. His lips quirked up quickly as he accepted it, their fingers brushing.

She felt her breath catch, glancing at him before quickly pulling away. "Thank you, Elsa."

A quick nod, as she tucked a strand behind her ear and picked up her own bowl. They sat in silence for several minutes before she stood. "Well, I-"

"Wait, Elsa, please. Stay?"

She turned, looking back at him from her place near the flap. A moment passed, and he could see the wheels turning in her head, could hear the abacus clacking as she tried to come to the best conclusion. And then slowly, she returned to her former spot. Sitting legs crossed beside him, they ate in silence. Why did you return? You could have gone back out and joined the rest of the tribe. Why did you agree to sit and eat with him? When you do eat with the tribe, you usually stay by yourself.

And while she knew that was true, part of her didn't want to have to face Yelena and the others, and their obvious questions. So she chose to stay in the hut, regardless of how she felt about Hans. Occasionally, they would glance at each other, but neither said a word. This is more awkward than the first dinner Anna and I had together after I returned to Arendelle and we opened the gates permanently.

Her heart tugged at thoughts of Anna, and she quickly banished them away. It wouldn't do for her to start getting choked up about her relationship with her sister now, no matter how strained it was becoming, not while she and Hans were sharing a meal in silence. She glanced at him, gaze automatically going to his wrapped ribs. "Are you doing better?"

A moment passed, before he nodded. "It's not hurting as badly as it was before."

She swallowed before speaking. "There's something in the poultice that you're sensitive too. I suspect you've got a minor infection from the broken rib, and the poultice was just making it worse; usually that means the person is sensitive to whatever's in the poultice. That is the only reason a minor infection would flare, especially if ribs have been bound. When I changed the bandage today, your skin was red, warm and inflamed to the touch." She thought a moment, back to what Vanja had said.

"It would not be uncommon for his constitution to play a part in the infection too. What the Northuldra, or even the people of Arendelle, can handle in regards to our herbs and remedies, will not be the same for someone from the far South or further North, or even across the seas. Especially if they have never been exposed to it before."

Elsa sighed. She knew that there were certain plants and herbs here in the North that were used medicinally; that some of those plants and remedies were even used in Arendelle, and that the people had been using such plants for millennia, and that they had adjusted and grown used to them. But for people like Hans, from the Southern Isles...

The two main ingredients of that poultice were Borago officinalis and Chamomilla recutita; borage plant and German and roman chamomile, Vanja said. Both have good properties for healing and reducing inflammation. They are native to this area and been used for centuries. Elsa glanced at the fabric that had once been her skirt, now wrapped around his ribs, as she suddenly realized why he would have reacted to the poultice. But not the Southern Isles.

"Elsa? Are you alright?" She looked up, meeting his gaze. She forced a smile.

"Fine. Just... lost in thought."

They continued to eat in silence for several minutes, before Hans spoke up. "Elsa?" She met his gaze. "Why aren't you ruling Arendelle?"

"What is it to you?" She replied, suddenly irritated by his question. He shrugged, catching the flash of annoyance in her blue eyes.

"Just curious. I wouldn't have ever expected you to be living here, in the woods with-" He stopped.

"The Northuldra."

"Right. The... North...uldra."

"They are my mother's people." Elsa replied firmly, making sure to end the conversation there. Hans simply studied her. Despite the years that had passed, Elsa hadn't changed, not much, really. Her skin was still as pale and smooth as freshly glazed porcelain, those beautiful, deep blue eyes that shone like fresh cut sapphires, that pink cupid bow of a mouth and that small, upturned nose... but there was something else, something different that he couldn't quite put his finger on. And then he saw it.

Her hair.

The last time he'd seen her, her hair had been an almost platinum blonde, but now... now it was white. As white as the freshly fallen snow upon the North Mountain she had fled to the night of her coronation. And now longer was it confined to that loose, sultry braid, strands barely contained within the plait tossed over her shoulder. No, now it hung loose and free down her back and over her chest, much longer than the last time he'd seen her, strands the color of white jade, smooth and silky in the dim light of the fire in the center of the small pit in the hut; there was one stubborn strand, too short to be tucked into her famous braid, that hung over her forehead, giving her a carefree, relaxed look. There was a maturity about her features, a slight sharpness to her small, heart-shaped face that hadn't been there at her coronation.

She had been but a young girl of twenty-one that long ago day, and now... now she was what? Twenty-four? Twenty-five? Certainly no older than twenty-seven, twenty-six at most, were he to make a guess. She had lost the youthfulness that had surrounded her that day, the innocence and teenage dramatics she had apparently stifled for years. Now, she sat before him, the form-fitting top of her dress hugging her body and showing off her curves, accenting her small bust and slender hips. She wore a pair of simple grey slippers and grey leggings, looking entirely unlike the girl he had met that day. Something about her had changed.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

She bit her lip, slightly exacerbated for having to repeat herself. "My mother was Northuldrian. My father was Arendellian. This is my mother's tribe. I live here now."

He furrowed a brow. "And... Anna? Is she here too?"

Her blue eyes narrowed, and she quickly changed tones. "That is none of your concern, but if you must know, Anna is not here. Just me."

His brows knit deeper together. "I... why are you here then?"

She was starting to get agitated; he could see it. Her eyes began to smolder, and after a moment, she climbed to her feet. "Are you done?" He held out a hand when she got to him. She waited. "Well? Are you done? Because if you are, I will take the bowl." A moment passed, before he handed the empty bowl to her, their fingers brushing. Heat coursed between them, and she tried desperately to hide the blush that began to color her cheeks. Without a word, she snatched the bowl away, turned, and left. He watched her go, letting his thoughts swirl.

He looked up when she returned ten minutes later; she said nothing, reaching down and snatching up the shawl she'd set aside when she cleaned and re-wrapped his ribs, wrapping the dark fabric around her shoulders. Just as he was about to speak, she tilted her head down and proceeded to shake her head. "Come on, Bruni, out! I have to go back to Ahtohallan; you know the rules, you have to stay here."

Hans watched in confusion as Elsa finally lifted her head and reached up, digging into the white strands for something. A burst of lilac-pink seemed to appear from her head, and Elsa recoiled. "Ouch!" She groaned in annoyance, sucking on her finger briefly before returning her hand to her hair. The sight of the Queen of Arendelle, the famed Snow Queen, standing in the middle of a hut miles away from her kingdom, sucking on her finger was a sight Hans had trouble believing- that is, until he watched her continue to dig through her hair before removing her hand; holding a squirming, squeaking lizard in her grasp.

She yipped, and Hans tried to sit up, afraid the lizard had bitten her, but the pain in his ribs prevented him from doing anything. And Elsa, not having noticed, didn't drop the amphibian like he'd expected. Well, not into the dirt, anyway. She dropped him into her other hand, before tossing the creature gently back and forth as steam hissed from her hands and she hissed softly in response. "Ow, oh! Hot, hot!"

Finally, she stopped tossing the little lizard, as it seemed to settle down, steam coming from its body. A soft huff of annoyance escaped her, and she simply shook her head, before kneeling down and picking up-

She glanced down, only to find Bruni's bowl gone. Her gaze shifted, until she spotted it beside Hans, still containing the water she'd used to clean the infection earlier. With a sigh, she returned to Hans's side, reaching out and lifting the bowl. Without a word, she dumped the last of the water into the dirt beside her, and then set the bowl down. "Elsa?"

But the young woman ignored the man at her side, attention focused on the small salamander in her palm. He looked up at her with those big eyes of his, poking out his tongue, and Elsa chuckled softly under her breath. "You can't come with me, Bruni, you know that." She giggled as his tongue darted up to lick his eye, and he squeaked. "I have to go back to Ahtohallan, and you have to stay here. That's how this my role works, remember? I'm not like you. Just because I have a hut with the Northuldra, doesn't mean I want to spend all my time with them, or, in this case, can't, because, well-" She stopped, but it seemed that she hadn't acknowledged Hans, or just chose to ignore him. The man opened his mouth to speak, but Elsa, still in conversation with the salamander in her hand, continued, her attention focused entirely on the small creature. The salamander in question snorted, as if in protest to Elsa's words, but she held firm. "I'm not like you or Gale, Bruni. You know that. I'm not simply a mere elemental."

Elemental? What the hell did she mean by-

"Your job is to help the Northuldra, my job is to protect Ahtohallan and control you and the others so you don't get out of hand. That's why I'm the Fifth, remember?"

Another squeak, and the creature jumped from her hand to her chest, scampering up onto her shoulder as Elsa quickly reached for him. The sight of the small lizard scurrying over the soft skin of her chest caused Hans's fear to rise; what if the amphibian was poisonous, and his touch did something to her? He had read about certain lizards having a poisonous touch, and feared this small one did as well, but Elsa only laughed, taking the lizard gently between her thumb, forefinger and middle finger and removing him from her shoulder.

"Bruni, we've discussed this." Her voice was soft yet firm; a mother gently scolding an unruly child. It appeared that the little lizard was more to Elsa than just an amphibian. A pet, perhaps? "You have to stay here." She set the little thing in the palm of her other hand, and reached out for the bowl again. Hans watched in silence as the animal cocked its head to the side; Elsa, smiling softly at the creature mirrored its action, only cocking her head the opposite way.

A tiny smile tugged at his lips as he watched her. Meanwhile, her small fingers grazed against his hip, and he glanced down, feeling heat start to boil in his stomach at her cool touch. It took her several minutes to realize that though she'd reached for the bowl, she hadn't grabbed it, and was instead stroking her fingers against his hip in a gentle, unnoticed caress; she was too preoccupied with the little lizard in her palm.

Elsa giggled, making a face at the creature, and Hans, too wrapped up in watching her coo at the lizard like she was cooing at a baby, didn't notice her wandering hand until her small, cool fingers got a little too close to- Gently, Hans cleared his throat, shifting as carefully as he could out of her grasp so he didn't jar his leg or his ribs. It was then that Elsa looked up at the noise; a moment passed, before she realized what she'd been doing and hurriedly withdrew her hand, a flush appearing on her pale cheeks. Hans averted his eyes, but only briefly, watching as she reached down and finally grabbed the bowl, pulling it into her lap.

His gaze moved up once more as she lifted a hand and created a small swirl of snowflakes around the little salamander, who looked up at them and promptly opened his mouth to catch a couple. She giggled once more as it snorted in contentment, before glancing over its shoulder to stare at Hans. It was then that Elsa's gaze moved up to follow, and Hans suddenly found the object of his study focused on him. He swallowed, meeting her gaze boldly. The lizard snorted, and Elsa leaned down. "He's the man I found at the gypsy camp. The one the voice led me to. He's hurt, so he has to stay here and recover before he can go on his way."

Hans tried not to let the bluntness of her words sting, but they did, none the less. On my way? I don't even know where my way is, Elsa. I had no destination then, and I will have no destination once I'm fully healed.

"He won't hurt you. He can't hurt anyone, not anymore." He could see a flicker of pain in her blue eyes, and swallowed thickly. "But he's of no never mind to us. Once he's gone, everything will return to normal." The lizard turned back to her, squeaking. She snorted softly. "He's not one of us, he's... he's completely ordinary."

"No, I'm... I'm completely ordinary."

Hans shuddered internally, Anna's words to the Duke from that long ago day coming back to haunt him, out of her sister's mouth. He knew an apology would never make up for what he'd done- and that Elsa would never accept it- hell, eternity in Purgatory or the nine layers of Dante's Hell would never make up for the pain he'd caused the Arendelle royals. And yet, there was something tugging at the back of his heart that was telling him he needed to make amends with Elsa, at least, for she was the one he'd hurt the most. Yes, he'd left Anna to freeze to death after leading her on, but he'd tried to assassinate Elsa- had nearly cleaved her head clean from her body as she'd crumpled on the frozen water of the fjord that long ago day, distraught over her sister's demise and wracked with guilt over the suffering she'd brought to her kingdom, unaware of her sister's sacrifice until she'd heard the shattering of his sword upon Anna's frozen form. Yes, he'd hurt them both, hurt Anna; Anna, in all her naivete, in all her romantic notions about love- and Elsa; Elsa, the beautiful Snow Queen of Arendelle, beloved by all, the philosopher-queen who charmed all she met and brought both man and nation to their knees at her feet.

Elsa, once so cold and distant, now lively and warm as she talked to the little light blue lizard in her hand, with the pink diamonds on his back. Her blue gaze darted to his, but he kept quiet, even though he longed to speak. Something, or perhaps someone, was keeping him quiet; her blue eyes fixed on him like the brightest of sapphires. "And if he does, don't worry, I will handle him." Her whisper was just loud enough for him to hear; a clear warning he was not to touch the little lizard in her palm once she left.

He swallowed. "Elsa-"

But she acted as though she hadn't heard him, grinning at the lizard even as she kept her eyes trained on him. The little creature turned to look at him before turning back to her. It licked its eyes once more, and she giggled. "I promise, once he's gone, I'll be back to staying here on occasion like I do. But I also have to stay at Ahtohallan, you know that. I have to protect it; I'm its guardian. It's my job to protect it, like it's my job to command you and the Nokk and Gale and the earth giants. I can't just abandon my job."

Funny, considering you clearly abandoned Arendelle.

"Besides, Bruni, you know as well as I do, how important Ahtohallan is. How important we all are. If even one of us fails, the balance is thrown. We are not just Spirits, we help the Great Mother care for her people."

Hans furrowed a brow, confused. He watched as Elsa reached out, waving a hand; the bowl filled with fluffy white snow, and the lizard- Bruni, as Elsa called him- let out a squeak of excitement before leaping out of her palm and into the bowl. She laughed at the amphibian's antics, picking the bowl up and bringing it close to her face. Hans watched as a small head poked up out of the snow. "Now, will this keep you happy until I return?"

A squeak, and Elsa giggled. Suddenly though, Hans shifted uncomfortably as he soon found himself the object of both the lizard and Elsa's attention. Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be buried in ice soon?

But nothing happened, nothing major anyway. Instead, Elsa leaned close to the bowl, eyes never leaving Hans. "Bruni, if he tries anything stupid or egotistical or heartless at all," The lizard never took its gaze off Hans and neither did Elsa; the exiled prince had the stomach-turning feeling that he could very soon be lizard food. "you have my permission to light his ginger butt on fire."