I wake biting back a scream, and falling off my bed. I'm lunging for...

For...

The details of the nightmare are already fading, leaving me with a vague feeling of despair. Moments later though that fades too leaving me with only more pleasant memories.

In the few days since Lei and my first date, we've been out twice more. Which doesn't count our general hanging out time outside of 'dates'. What our relationship is exactly is unclear and we largely avoided talking about it. Theoretically I'm still going to get my artifacts and leave, not to mention that I'm arguably not in my right mind at the moment. Lei is amazingly understanding about the whole thing, so instead of defining terms we focus on having as much fun as we can with each other before it all stops for whatever reason.

Kissing is something that I hope never gets old.

During the sunset walk along the beach the night before Lei had explained that proper Hawaiian night swimming is done in the nude, and when the bio-luminescent algae are plentiful. Which they had been that night. A smirk and waggled eyebrows on Lei's part led to some time indulging in said proper Hawaiian night swimming, and an enthusiastic several hour long good night. The whole experience leaves me with some very pleasant memories, which I gladly focus on instead of whatever I'd been dreaming about.

Really it's good that Lei is willing to spend so much time with me, as over the last several days I've become less and less able to indulge in my visits to the forge. The closer Vivain gets to finishing the pieces she's making for me, the less I'm able to resist the siren call to just touch one of them. So several days ago Vivain was forced to banish me from the smithy, just to keep me from doing something I'd regret while not paying attention.

I'm beginning to understand how addicts must feel.

The constant temptation to head to the forge, just to look, is getting harder and harder to resist when I'm not occupied by anything else. Lei is more than happy to give me something else to focus on.

I also find that my morning workout gets easier to get through the less I think about what I'm doing. Another reason I'm glad last night's memories linger on, I smile to myself as I finish going through the routine on autopilot.

I head down stairs in shorts and a tank top with a slight bounce in my step and a smile that I can't get rid of on my lips. Not that I try very hard. I actually find myself happy recently in ways that I can't remember having ever been before, and my soul ache while not gone, is something that I can go almost an entire day without thinking about. As long as I keep my mind off certain things, like carefully not looking at or thinking about the barely started Script on my desk, or Script at all really.

In the kitchen is a sight eerily similar to the start of my most recent stay on the islands right after the ritual. Pua and Ku are waiting for me at the breakfast table looking serious, Thea is moving around the kitchen with a pleasant smile on her face quietly humming something. The only differences really are Sarah's absence, and that they aren't quite as grim.

I pause in the door, "Is this another intervention?" Thea chokes softly, swallowing a laugh as Pua and Ku blink then sighe. I wish I could say I'm surprised to see the siblings pull out several bills each to hand over to Thea, but this is exactly the sort of thing I've learned to expect from them. Thea takes the money with a gracious smile before putting a plate of breakfast down in front of my usual seat, "Not an intervention then." I snicker and take my seat, quickly digging in, and enjoying the siblings misfortune.

Pua sighes again and Ku faceplants into the table, "No it's not another intervention. Vivain sent a message over this morning." I pause looking up at the Kahuna, "She's nearly finished, and wants to talk to you. After the conversation she'll present you with the finished artifacts."

I stall out completely. They're done. Or nearly. Close enough. Now though I have to wonder if I'll be capable of using them. I haven't practiced at all since that first abortive attempt with Ku. The closest I've come was the scuffle with the soldiers in the parking lot of the hardware store. Any other time I try I just... can't.

Can't really fight.

Can't really make new Scripts.

Can't really do anything that I used to be so good at, had worked so hard for.

With every thought the ache grows worse.

Would I be able to accomplish any of my goals at all any more?

The last idea has me curling up in my chair, arms wrapped around my body, with a moan of pain. The ache is almost as bad as it had been when the pieces of my soul were first removed. I feel Pua's hand on my shoulder and faintly hear her voice calling me to focus on her.

Slowly as I manage to shift my attention, put my previous worries out of my mind, and the pain fades to a dull throb. Finally I manage to actually focus on Pua and she sighs, relieved.

"Right. No more waiting, lets go." She pulls me to my feet out of my chair, which is impressive given our relative heights.

"But my breakfast." I whine reaching for it as I'm dragged away. All I get for my troubles is Pua rolling her eyes and Ku and Thea laughing at me.

Traitors.

###

"What did the Excalibur do exactly?"

"Really? You wait till now to find out what standard your own sword will be held to?"

I shrug, "I trust Pua. And right now I need the distraction." I'm sitting in the forge for the first time in three or four days. I'm sitting on my stool again, with one of Pua's hands on my shoulder to help keep me there. After a moment's pause I manage a small grin, "And I want to know what the standard my sword will be held to is."

Vivain snorts. The forge is cold, and the quench tanks are pushed out of the way. Vivain sits in the middle of her smithy putting the finishing touches on what has to be my sword. The sword is two handed, the blade an odd off white color that doesn't look like it could possibly be sharp, no matter how sharp it actually is. The cross piece is a silvery metal, the pommel a perfectly clear crystal or stone that I don't recognize.

Behind her on a table is a suit of armor, the same off white color as the sword blade. It's a full suit of plate and chain, with plenty of cloth as well. A skirt drapes over the leg armor and would drop to just brush the floor if the armor was upright, and instead of a more traditional helm it has a hood and what looks like a cloth face mask that could be pulled up from the gorget over the nose. Both pieces of cloth and the skirt were the same off white color as the armor. It makes me wonder if they are actually cloth at all.

Lastly a sheathed foot long knife lay next to the armor's left gauntlet.

The Lady of the Lake holds the sword point down, pinched between her knees as she wraps black ray skin around the hilt for grip. She's silent for a few moments, looking down while her hands continue without pause, "Excalibur is the Sword of Promised Victory, and that is what it does. The sword, when powered, warps fate and destiny, skews probability, to bring about what the wielder defines as victory. The more power the wielder puts into the blade, the larger an area is affected, and the more dramatic those effects are. When Arthur held it, nothing went right for his enemies, food spoiled, horses went lame or fled, allies were delayed or never appeared at all, and equipment was ruined. All before the armies ever set foot upon the field.

"Once they did it all got worse. The term for it now is Murphy's Law, and Murphy lived in the enemies camp, and marched with his troops. Meanwhile Arthur's troops would spot problems before they could become such, the enemy's plans would be obvious, his generals would always be in the right place at the right time, and always get the inspiration they needed. Once a supply caravan was lost, and fresh fish fell like rain on his camp."

I blink several times.

So Excalibur was weaponized bad luck? No, she said it herself, it was weaponized Murphy's Law. If Murphy was biased for the home team.

"So how did Arthur lose?" I ask trying to imagine what the effects of Excalibur would look like, and how you could possibly fight such a thing? When everything you try is guaranteed to go wrong in the worst possible way, I don't think anybody really could, which I suspect is the point.

Sword of Promised Victory, no shit.

"What makes you think he did?" I jerk my head up at that idea only to find Vivain watching me with a smirk.

"Um... he died?" I offer.

"When Arthur took the field at Camlen all of his focus was bent on preventing Mordred from taking his throne, and he was willing to give anything to see that happen. As Mordred never sat the throne of Britain, he achieved what he set out to. His willingness to give anything for his goal though meant his survival was not a condition of victory." The fae lady finishes wrapping the hilt and lays the sword down next to the armor, on the opposite side of it from the knife, "Honestly I think that the Excalibur's ability to twist probability into a pretzel is the only reason why those alchemical knock offs hold together." She snorts and grumbles to herself something about real swords not coming from test tubes, then shakes herself, refocusing.

The fae smith waves me forward and I approach with caution. Oddly the burning need to touch any of the pieces in front of me has largely vanished. I can still feel a pull towards them, but I no longer need them like a starving man needs food. As soon as I stand next to her she stops me.

"You have noticed that in the last few weeks, since we began this project, that things have been much more difficult for you. Things that you used to take pleasure in or found easy you no longer do, or seem beyond your abilities now." I flinch wondering if she would take away the artifacts now, if I have somehow become unworthy of them, "Do not fret, these phenomena are no fault of yours. What most do not know is that a soul is not homogeneous. That, like the brain, certain parts of it are responsible for certain things."

I haven't really thought about it but, "That's why my trait theft Script works. I remove the part of a things essence, or soul I guess, that is responsible for a certain power or ability, and graft it onto my own. Making whatever I've taken available to me."

Vivain nods, "Exactly. When I took pieces of your soul to forge into your weapons and armor, I removed parts of you. The armor is forged of your drive to succeed. That part of you that kept you fighting even when broken, that part of you that let you try, even for what most would call impossible.

"The sword is forged of your drive to improve. The part of you that looked at yourself and knew you could be more. That knew that your life, your skills, everything could be better tomorrow, if by however little, if only you worked for it. That however little that progress is, it would be worthwhile because then you could push further the day after.

"The knife was forged with a bit of your intellect, which is likely why you did not realize what removing several pieces of your soul would mean on your own."

I stare at the... the parts of me on the table. No wonder it got harder and harder to stay away, to not touch them. No wonder I can't accomplish anything, I'm crippled.

"Before you take them up, you have a choice to make." Vivain says and pushes me gently back a step, "When you take these missing parts of yourself up, you will once again be as you were. The drive and focus that you lack will be returned to you."

"What's the question then?" I'm a little frustrated, after all this she's stalling?

"Will you take them up?" Vivain answers.

What? "Why wouldn't I?"

"Are you not happy now? You have a woman that could come to love you, and that you could come to love. You have a place if you stay here in this village, you are accepted and welcomed. Perhaps you could even become Pua's apprentice in truth, as opposed to just by default. Would you be happy with this village, trusting others to keep you safe from what you know is coming if you become as you were?"

###

I stare at Vivain. Then I turn back to the armor and blades on the table. It's true I'm largely happy now, as long as I avoid certain things. Leimomi is always fun, and I'm enjoying the time I spend with her a great deal. Pua is great, she makes learning easy, and even if I haven't been actively studying with her I've absorbed a great deal of lore just by osmosis. I can easily see myself spending more time on that and becoming a Kahuna like her. I can't learn her magic, but there are plenty of Kahuna out there that aren't sorcerer's themselves. After all a Kahuna's primary responsibility is to the mental, physical, and spiritual health of the people of her village; supernatural powers are not required.

They do help though.

I glance back at Vivain, who simply watches me with no expression on her face to indicate any sort of opinion, "This... ache?"

"Would eventually heal. You would never be as you were, but you would regain the parts of yourself that you lost eventually. Even if they would be different from how they were." Vivain tells me, voice showing nothing but mild interest.

I nod, that does make the prospect more appealing. I could explore my relationship with Lei, find out if we would be as good together as it appears, if we could last. I could hang out with Sarah, do all the things that she always wanted to but I never had time for. When the parts of my soul were removed, I had the thought that I wasn't really a person. That's slowly changing and I find that I enjoy it.

On the other hand...

On the other hand through the last several weeks there has been one pervasive feeling that has never left.

I feel... helpless.

I can do nothing unless it's easy or I have somebody holding my hand. I can't protect myself, can't protect others. I doubt I could even run away from a real threat. If the mo'o were to invade now, I would die without even being able to fight back. The first injury would have crippled me unable to push through the pain. I would have probably been caught quickly unable to use each ambush as a learning experience. No ability to make each successive ambush more successful than the last.

I hate this feeling. If I had been comfortable with it I would have joined a peerage, and let some devil take care of me. Or just gone on about my mundane life like I had in my last one, ignoring the supernatural altogether.

Instead on the day of my birth I'd decided that the only thing acceptable to me is to become more than I am, more than I'm slated to be.

That inability to tolerate my own helplessness hasn't changed, and the method of overcoming that state is sitting in front of me.

I reach forward and touch the sheathed knife, and my mind speeds up, my thoughts clearer, my memory sharper. Things snap into focus... I still don't know why the fight in the parking lot was so different though. Even so my mind is firing on all cylinders again and it's fantastic.

I touch the armor, and my determination returns. The off white color of the armor starts darkening, slowly fading to a deep matte black. To me though it's as if unnoticed walls that had surrounded me, hemmed me in, have all fallen away. Pain is something to be ignored, it would fade. Impossible is a term for things that I haven't done yet. I can almost feel the armor wrapping around my soul as the piece that I've been missing slot back into place. I once again have the determination to stride through all that would seek to stop me, ignoring them with the disdain they deserve. Now that drive would protect my body as much as it will ward off any thoughts of 'I can't'.

Finally I touch the sword. The off white blade, like the armor, fades to black, and then becomes an even deeper shade than the armor. The armor is still a thing, the sword is a cutout in the world. A light eating black that consumes all that touches it, like if Vivain had somehow pounded a black hole into the shape of a sword. That absolute blackness is only broken up by a series of faintly shining iridescent Script symbols, They almost seem to float in the void produced by the flat of the blade. As I watch, vapor begins to waft from the blade as it consumes even the ambient heat around it. At the same time the clear crystal pommel piece begins to shine with a pure white light.

As it slots into my soul the world stretches around me, my horizons pulling away. All things are possible, and I can see a path to them, how ever long that path will be, and every day is just another step along it. The impossible is only so because I do not have the growth today that I will have tomorrow. Like the sword I can once again take in everything around me, and use it to make myself more than I have been before.

I stagger backwards with a shuddering gasp. The ache in my soul is gone. Not faded, or easier to put out of mind, but gone. My body moves like I expect it to again with no soreness, and all I can think is that my last spar with Ku had been pathetic, and I'll kick his ass next time. That there's a Script begun on my desk, that would potentially mean I don't really have to leave everybody behind forever, just waiting on me to take the time to finish it.

Now though Pua and Vivain catch me as I almost fall backwards, dizzy from all that has changed in my world again. It actually kind of feels like when the Lady removed the parts of myself that I just reclaimed, only instead of the disorientation leaving me weak, this time it leaves me strong.

"Are you all right?" Pua asks, sounding worried, "Do you need..."

"I'm fine. Better than fine actually. I feel fantastic." I grin down at my friend, looking forward to testing out my new gear.

"Good." Vivain nods with a smile, "Now though, I should tell you what you have gained." I blink and nod. Probably best to not go into battle with something assuming it's a rocket launcher only to discover it's a pistol.

"Yeah..." I say, feeling a little sheepish, "That would probably be a good idea."

Pua groans, "She's back. Ready to run off and get into trouble with only the briefest thought as to the potential issues."

I glare at Pua and Vivain is polite enough to ignore our byplay. Instead she moves around the table to the knife, and holds it out to me. I take it carefully and draw the knife, revealing a foot long single edged blade made of the silvery metal typical of fae smithing. The edge of the knife has a subtle double curve to it, and the first quarter of the back edge from the point is sharpened as well to facilitate better stabbing. It has a small crosspiece that curves forward towards the blade along the back, and around my fingers on the opposite side. Ever so gently I touch the edge of the knife and my finger splits open. I hadn't felt anything, no pain, no sensation at all. Even while I watch the cut close, pain never hit.

I glance up at Vivan who's watching me with a proud smile, "Your athame." Athame nothing, it's a goddamned short sword, and I love it, "Forged with a touch of your intellect, it should be much better about finding what you want in a thing when you kill it, now that it has the intelligence to help. Not that it's smart... more like a search engine."

I nod, and put the knife back in its sheath, stroking it gently, "Your armor." Vivain lays a hand on the full suit, "It may be a bit difficult to put on or take off until you learn to call it back to the rest of your soul, and push it out again, but it will be excellent protection. The color changed because the armor will consume most energy that touches it that is not yours. It appears black because the light that touches it does not reflect. All the energy it takes in will be changed to mana within the armor, and fed to you to keep you fighting, though that is not its purpose. The armor will also act as a pressure valve, first storing a small amount of mana that would normally begin to overload you, then venting mana when it would otherwise do you harm. It sounds powerful, and it is, but bare in mind that it can only vent so quickly and store so much. If you take a strong enough blow, that would feed you too much energy too quickly, it will instead take the blow as normal armor does. It will still protect you, but you will feel the difference of the weight of the blow and what the armor absorbs. Also the armor does not consume all energy, it must ignore some so that you may interact with the world. The hood in addition to protecting you by lessening the energy of anything that hits you, will react to anything not yourself as though it is inch thick plate, not cloth. The hood has also been crafted so that most of your face, when it is up, will always be hidden in shadow. If you pull up the half mask attached to the gorget no one will see anything but darkness under the hood. I thought that given how some will no doubt react to your powers, it may be best to not be easily identifiable while unarmored." She finishes with a slight smirk.

I smile back at her, I hadn't even thought of that. It's a nice addition, and having the... helmet substitute act like cloth to me means much more flexibility, and that my senses would be less impaired, "So if I understand you, the armor will protect me from a lot, but I may still be knocked around some, and if I take a hard enough hit I'll still be injured." Vivan nods with a smile, "So like any other suit of armor, just better."

The Lady laughs, "Exactly. Now for the best." Unlike the other two pieces she doesn't touch the sword, and instead waves me forward, "This is Sclamhaire, the Devourer. Like the armor it consumes energy, unlike the armor it consumes all that it touches... all that is not you, and with the potential for more flexibility in that consumption. Sclamhaire holds the largest portion of your soul, and the part most prone to change. What that will allow in the future is for you to discover." She waves for me to take it up and with a small amount of hesitation, I do.

The moment I lift the sword it connects to my tattoos and she sings to me. The light from the crystal pommel piece vanishes the moment I pick Sclamhaire up, and I can feel a small trickle of mana being fed into my network, feeding and revitalizing me. Getting a closer look at the absolute blackness of her blade, only broken only by the faintly iridescent Script symbols that seemed to float on her flats.

"No other will ever again be able to touch her without at least losing a hand, as Sclamhaire will attempt to devour them as well. For you though, as a part of you, it should act as an excellent conduit for your power."

Taken with the thought, I feed my mana into the sword. After a moment, though she sings joyously at the touch of my power, and freely circulates the mana as though she's an extension of my arms, nothing else occurs.

Something to play with later then.

"Is she intelligent?" I have to ask, Sclamhaire feels so much like a part of me, and the way she sings and feels eager in my hand is nothing like either the armor, the athame, or anything else I'd ever held.

"No. Or not yet. In time... who knows?" The fae smith smiles mysteriously.

"Now how about you try it all on?" Pua asks.

My smile has to be more than a little manic.

###

Pua and Vivain help me into the armor for the first time, and it is, in fact, awkward to put on. As Vivain explains it to me, when I learn to call it to and from my soul it will simply manifest on me, and vanish again when I don't need it. Handy that, but it's something I'll have to learn. When I do though, the lack of extra joints and seams to facilitate the easy donning or removal of the armor will make it more protective. Until then it's simply also slightly more of a pain.

Once I get it on though, and get the athame and Sclamhaire settled, and get to look at myself in the mirror, well it's breathtaking.

I can't help but straighten to my full height. The solid black armor covers me completely, boots, gauntlets, and hood. The only skin showing is the tip of my nose, my lips and my chin. With the half mask up, even those vanish and nothing appears to be under the hood. Sclamhaire's scabbard hangs on my back at an angle so that I can draw her over my right shoulder, and the athame lays across the back of my hips so that I can draw it with my left hand, in either a forward or back handed grip.

Imagining how I'll look with the black Fallen Angel's wings I intended to acquire... well I can hardly wait.

I can't wait to give my new toys a test drive, though. On my back I can imagine feeling Sclamhaire vibrate with anticipation. Even better I have the perfect cathartic target to start out on.

The ability to speak all languages will come in very handy for all the traveling I'm going to be doing after all.

Somewhere out there, is a stray devil with my name on it.