A/N

Hello readers! Thank you for choosing to read my story: Return to the Veil! I always believed there was FAR more going on internally with Kylo/Ben and Rey that was just never addressed in the movies. This is most likely going to be a long story. I have no schedule for when I will be releasing various chapters, but I am hoping to be able to drop 2-3 chapters at a time… we'll see! This is also my first ever fanfic that I have authored! I'm more accustomed to writing graduate level psychological/clinical counseling research papers or client progress notes, so thank you in advance for giving me the space to grow as a fictional/creative writer.

Enjoy the story and please drop a review to let me know what you're thinking!

Chapter Two

We Run Parallel

POV - Ben

It was a voice, that he knew for sure. It sounded familiar, like something or someone he heard in a dream. He waited to hear it again, not wanting to open his eyes in fear that there was nothing there. Hallucinations were the last thing he needed.

The next time the voice spoke it was no longer a murmur, it was right next to him. "Ben." it said clearly, "Ben, we need to talk."

Ben's eyes snapped open. In front of where he sat stood a man wearing a black jedi tunic with his arms crossed. He looked to be in his early 20s with a couple of scars on his face, most likely from battle. He did not have a lightsaber nor did he have a gun - at least not that he could tell. Weapon or not, this man had an intimidating presence. He was tall and had a rigid posture exaggerated by his broad shoulders. Although he looked to be a stranger and he didn't recognize his face, Ben gasped when he realized who he was.

"Grandfather?"

"I see you finally calmed down. That took longer than I expected."

Ben was in shock. Darth Vader was standing in front of him. One of the most powerful jedi and sith ever to exist. For years he meditated over his helmet waiting for his voice or to feel his presence… waiting for answers. Even in his shock, Vader was different than he expected. Yes, he was intimidating… but he seemed more human than he had ever imagined.

"Are you going to keep staring or are you going to stand up? We have much to discuss."

He sounded urgent. Not wanting to anger his grandfather, Ben stood up quickly. In a shaky voice he began,

"Lord Vader, it is an honor to finally meet you." He would have continued if it weren't for his grandfather's chuckle cutting him off.

"Okay, we're going to need to stop that right away - call me Anakin or grandfather if you must."

He said it with a smile, like he was up to something or… joking? It made him seem quite young, almost like he was speaking to a peer rather than a sith lord or jedi master… let alone his grandfather.

"I'm sorry uh Anakin. I -" Ben stammered. What was there to say? This was all so confusing. For years he reached for his grandfather with the force wanting to complete his unfinished business, but now with the opportunity to speak with him he was at a loss for words.

"I know, this is all really weird and probably confusing," Anakin began, "but I need you to focus, okay? You're probably wondering where you are and why you're here, correct?"

Ben nodded.

"Well judging by your initial freak out, I'm assuming you think that you died." Anakin said this very matter-of-factly. He apparently wasn't one to beat around the bush. Ben knew better than to speak so he just allowed his grandfather to continue.

"That's really only half true. You are no longer among the living but your life force is still continuing on. It is hard to explain because it is so rare, but somehow you became one with the force and we are both living in it right now."

Anakin looked at him almost like he was waiting for an emotional outburst.

"So I didn't die?" Ben clarified, still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster he was on.

"Yes… and no," Anakin explained. "That isn't -" he closed his eyes and sighed in exasperation, "Can we get past this? No, you are not dead. That... that isn't the important part. You need to tell me everything. Go."

"What do you mean?" Ben asked. "How I died? How I got here?"

"No!" Anakin yelled and then quickly calmed himself. "Well, yes, that's important. Ben I've been there for you… for our family, more than you realize. I have seen much of what you all have been through, but I do not have the full story. I need you to fill in the blanks for me."

Ben paused. There was so much to tell. Anakin stood there waiting and Ben desperately wanted to tell him everything. How he felt abandoned by his parents, betrayed by his uncle, how he learned the way of the dark side - and liked it. He wanted to tell him about Rey. How she saw him. How he fell in love with a desert scavenger… the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine.

"I don't know where to begin…" Ben responded softly.

"Okay," Anakin sighed. "Walk with me."

Both men began to walk side by side through the nothingness that surrounded them. After a couple minutes of silence, Anakin began to speak,

"I am happy to see that you at least beat the Skywalker curse."

"We have a curse?"

"Yeah um, the men specifically. We have a tendency to lose our hands."

Anakin did his best to push down the urge to smile but ultimately lost the battle and began to laugh lightly. Ben looked lost.

"Grandfather, I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Ben, when did you get so serious?!" Anakin guffawed, "Hands! Our hands! I lost mine in a battle with Count Dukoo. Your Uncle Luke lost his when he fought me. Not my proudest moment. But you have both your hands. Congrats."

It was unclear if it was okay for him to laugh or not. Ben decided to smile briefly and keep moving. He was inwardly cringing at how uncomfortable and out of place he felt walking next to Anakin.

"Okay," Anakin began, "I can sense how… awkward you feel right now. I don't need the force to realize that - it's literally pouring off you."

'Great' Ben thought 'My grandfather, the man I idolized for years thinks I'm lame.'

"I'm sorry, grandfather."

"No, don't worry - I get it. I felt the same way, too."

"This happened to you before?" Ben asked refusing to believe that Anakin would be anything other than composed his entire life.

"Yes, when I saved your Uncle Luke - my son - I was sent here, too. It actually took me a lot longer to calm down than it did for you." He paused, "When I finally got myself together, I was visited by someone I hadn't seen in a long time, too… someone I was honestly afraid to see."

"Afraid?"

"Yes, afraid. From what I've seen of you Ben, you're not so different than I. I don't think there is any coincidence with that. You and I have led very similar life journeys. That's why I kept an eye on you… that's why I'm here now."

This response surprised Ben. From what he knew, Anakin had been raised as a jedi until he realized the power of the dark side and became one of the most powerful sith to ever exist. When the time came to overthrow his master - as all sith are called to do, he did so with deceit. Emperor Palpatine unknowingly survived the ambush but Lord Vader ultimately defeated him - at least temporarily. The jedi claimed that he was the chosen one, the one to bring balance to the force. Ben could only hope to be a fraction of who his grandfather became. In his opinion, the only thing Anakin failed to do was bring balance to the galaxy in its political turmoil.

Ben thought before he asked his next question.

"Grandfather… who were you afraid of? From what I understand, you had no reason to fear anyone."

Anakin's face then shifted to a haunted smile and he shook his head.

"In a way, you're right. There were not many enemies that I could not strike down or obliterate if I so wished. I've been in this place for a while Ben. I have had a lot of time to think over everything I've ever done." He paused seemingly caught in his own thoughts.

"Ben, I never felt fear staring in the eyes of my enemies - regardless of who they were..."

Another pause.

"... It's because I was scared of those who were on my side."

Ben didn't speak. He let the silence sit where it was as he waited for his grandfather to continue.

"Ben… would it be wrong of me to say that you have a tendency to betray those who care most about you?"

That was not where he was expecting this conversation to go. This invasive question stabbed him right in the gut threatening to bring forth another episode. He saw flashes of his father, his mother, Luke, even Rey. He had disappointed them all at one point. He felt the blood leave his face as he answered,

"Yes. I - "

"You don't need to explain yourself." Anakin interjected. "I mean, I want to hear what you have to say - but I'm not coming from a place of judgment."

Ben nodded but looked away from his grandfather. He did not know if he should speak or not. So he waited.

"Listen kid," Anakin began sounding curiously like Ben's father, "I betrayed a hell of a lot of people before I finally began to get things right. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I didn't want to hurt anybody…" He trailed off seemingly lost in thought. He continued "But in reality, my intentions did not match the consequences." Another pause, "What I'm trying to say is that I really fucked up, too. Yeah, I redeemed myself by saving my kids, but I never had the time to enjoy life after I got it right."

Redemption. Inadequacy. Betrayal. Confusion. All of a sudden, Ben snapped,

"Grandfather, I killed Han Solo - I killed my dad! Don't I deserve what I got? Don't I deserve to be here - wherever this is?!"

"BEN, I KILLED MY WIFE!" Anakin yelled.

This outburst stopped both of them in their tracks. Ben was speechless. A static energy hung in the air just waiting to spark. In everything he learned about Vader he never knew that he had a wife - let alone loved anyone at all. Anakin closed his eyes and began to explain,

"I didn't try to kill her. I loved her. She was everything, I truly mean it. I fell for her the moment I saw her. Of course it was forbidden by the Jedi to love anyone... But, we could not stay away from each other."

Ben waited for this story to go south. He was hanging on to every word Anakin spoke in awe of this new revelation.

"Her name was Padme - Padme Amidala." Anakin smiled lightly "She and I got married in secret on Naboo. It felt like we had it all under control. Nobody needed to know about us, we weren't hurting anybody." Anakin took a breath, "Then we found out she was pregnant. We were excited. Terrified, but excited. But I started getting these visions… these dreams… I had them before. I had them before my mother died and these dreams were showing me that Padme would have the same fate."

Ben felt a chill run through his body.

"I used to have dreams, too. They would be about me and not other people, but they would feel so real. I couldn't control them."

Anakin nodded.

"Yes, they were impossible for me to control as well. I kept watching my wife die in childbirth every time I would go to sleep. I felt hopeless. I couldn't go to anyone and it all was getting worse and worse.

"So how did you end up handling it?" Ben asked.

Anakin let out a low single laugh

"I didn't handle it. At the time, Emperor Palpatine was known to everyone as Senator Palpatine. We had no idea who he was… even the Jedi. We felt a disturbance in the force but could never quite figure out who or what it was coming from. Anyway, he had grown into a mentor role for me throughout my childhood and always made himself available for me to talk to whenever I needed. He found out about Padme and my dreams... and he offered to help me. He said there was a way I could save her."

Ben nodded in understanding. There were certain parts of the force that had life saving properties and staggering releases of power that the jedi would never teach. There were not many limits to what the dark side had to offer - which was part of its draw.

"He offered to teach me the ways of the dark side. It tore me apart and it just made everything more confusing and isolating. So I turned him in to the Jedi Council. They made their move by attempting to kill him and something in me just snapped… I killed the jedi before he could finish Palpatine off." Anakin paused to take a breath, "From there it just felt like there was no turning back you know? At that point there was no logic - I had already made my move and all that was left was to save Padme."

As Anakin spoke, Ben was reminded of his turn to the dark side. It felt right in the moment of trying to defend himself against his uncle. He finally surrendered to the voice of Snoke that had been beckoning to him for years. The look in Luke's face has he destroyed his hut with the force pull had always been what stuck with him for years. It was a face that told him that there was no going back. There was no way he could look at his mother or father again - no home to return to. He chose the dark side - and in this black and white galaxy, there was no middle ground and he was committed to the other side.

"You made your choice - I get it. We had our reasons." Ben stated.

"We absolutely did. To be honest, I do not think that we necessarily made the wrong choice. The execution of our choice could have been a little better but opening ourselves to the dark side was not necessarily our problem."

Ben looked at Anakin inquisitively.

"What do you mean, Grandfather?"

"I mean look at the choices we had before us! For me it was either my wife dies or I turn to the dark side. For you either you stood the risk of being eventually killed by your own family or turn to the dark side. Our situations were beyond fucked up! If I were to go back, I probably would have made the decision sooner… and on my own."

This conversation continued to surprise Ben with its twists and turns. His "redeemed" grandfather discussing how the dark side was not all that bad was not where he was expecting this conversation to go. He let Anakin continue,

"Ben, we had deranged sith lords whispering in our ears our entire lives. Yes, we turned from our jedi ways but our real problem was that we let these men control and manipulate us. Our consequence is that we ended up betraying those that we loved."

"So…" Ben hesitated, nervous to be asking the question, "what did you do to Padme?"

He could see Anakin's eyes begin to cloud in an intensity of regret and sadness as he began,

"Well, I went off to complete some business for Palpatine… all of which killed masses of jedi, younglings, and other citizens who were perceived as a threat to him. My jedi master, Obi-Wan, caught wind of all that had been happening and how I was involved. He met with Padme and she told him everything about the two of us and how she was pregnant with my children. He must have told her all that I had been doing for the Emperor because when I saw her get off the ship, it was like she was looking at a different person… like she couldn't recognize who I was…"

Anakin coughed obviously trying to cover up and push past the urge to cry in front of his grandson.

"Looking back, I know she was just scared for me… and heartbroken. But in the moment - while I was in my rage - all I could see in front of me was a woman who betrayed me. All I could feel was splitting anger and fear that she was leaving me even though I was just trying to save her. I was delusional and my feelings were practically exploding out of me after being capped for so many years of stifling them as a jedi. Obi-Wan had been hiding on her ship and as soon as I saw him… I just lost it. I force choked my pregnant wife… I really, REALLY fucked up."

At this point, tears were flowing freely down Anakin's face, however his voice never wavered as he pushed on,

"But she didn't die then. After my master and I fought and I was left umm... indisposed, she went into labor and gave birth to our children, Luke... and your mother. I learned later that when she spoke to Obi-Wan she still wished for him to save me. In her dying breaths she still saw something in me… she still loved me."

Ben could relate. He remembered the look in Rey's eyes as she stared at him through the force connection when she and her Resistance friends were escaping the planet of Crait. She had been absolutely furious and the daggers in her eyes had pierced into his very being… but under this harsh look was something else. He could feel her desperation for him to join her - for him to be Ben and not Kylo. At the time, he thought that returning to being Ben was impossible - but Rey knew better. She always did.