Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Zani wasn't exactly happy with the ending of Frozen II. I think this might be her weird way of fixing it... maybe?

Written: 2019 - Licia

Elsa chose not to return to the camp for four days, needing the time away to wrap her head around the fact that she and Hans had once been betrothed. Clearly, though, the betrothal had fallen through...

In that time, Elsa spent the majority of her time in the library of her palace, searching her books for various explanations, or on the 'beach', or even just riding the Nokk across the sea, for the fun of it. But the majority of the time, she spent in Ahtohallan. The eve of her fourth night away from the camp, found her in the ballroom of the glacier. Surrounded by the memories of her life, she took some comfort in the frost statues, as she relived her life in snippets, as her mother's lullaby wrapped around her, but she never did go back down into the depths of the Ahtohallan's sound.

Though, she briefly wondered if she could- especially considering she had- again, had she really? Or was it just an illusion?- died that long ago day when her own curiosity had overtaken her. Those questions brought about new ones, far more complicated than she cared to admit. And still, a part of her was still curious, still desired to venture back down, in search of more...

"You are not to return to the depths. You swore a promise to me."

Her eyes snapped open at the voice, the voice that seemed to be of the glacier itself. Her gaze darted around quickly, before she spoke. "Technically, I said I wouldn't go back. I never made such a promise." The voice, that she assumed was Ahtohallan, didn't respond, and after a moment, she stood from her seat on the floor, moving through the memories. Her feet instinctively led her away from the memories, and after a moment, she stopped, facing the frost shield that kept anyone from going too far into the sound, though the frost memories could pass.

I am drawn to it, even though I cannot return. Though I should not return.

A moment passed, tension filled her, as she reached out as though to touch it, before pulling back. Everything was pulling her back towards the depths of the sound, but she knew better than to follow. Lifting her chin, she turned and strode out of the ballroom, through the throne room and outside, trekking over the rocks to the 'beach', where she promptly plunked herself down into the dark sand. Removing her shoes, she buried her toes, letting her gaze drift onto the water. A thousand thoughts filled her head, not a single one stayed for longer than a minute, however. More than once, they were of her death, or what she presumed to be her death, as was always the case when she left Ahtohallan. Because of the events that had happened that day, because of her 'dying' in the sound of the glacier, whenever she returned from spending time there, her thoughts always returned to that day, and a tiny, sliver of her mind couldn't help wondering if, by way of her desperation for answers that day, she's inadvertently cursed herself.

Cursed? Similar to how you viewed your powers, up until after your coronation? She sighed. No, cursed, as in the story Hans told- the tinderbox, I think that was the name of it. About the Princess of the Spring, drowned by the witch in the river, forced to be the guardian to the river. The wind whipped the ends of her braid, and she lifted her head, closing her eyes. It was warmer than the wind that came off the Dark Sea, and she relaxed slightly instantly knowing who it was.

"Hello, Gale."

The wind whistled softly, running through the loosely plaited white strands, like caressing fingers, before it moved to caress her cheek. Elsa giggled softly, watching the playful wind wrap around her, as something dropped into her lap. Instantly, Elsa felt all the playfulness, the calm and relaxation she'd been feeling since leaving Ahtohallan drain away as she recognized the Arendelle crest with the 'A' in the center. A moment passed, before she grabbed the letter and stood, going back into the palace.

She quickly fixed a cup of tea and then made her way into the library, taking a seat on the sofa beside the fireplace. Her fingers began to tremble as she stared at the letter Gale had dropped into her hands. Even without the official Arendelle seal, she knew who it belonged to.

Anna

Her teeth slid out to grasp at her lower lip in worry. What could Anna possibly want? From what Kristoff had told her, Anna had done all she absolutely could- short of banning- to keep her from returning to the kingdom. And on the rare occasions Elsa did return, it was proven that she was deeply, deeply loved by the people still, even after two years away; that they still viewed her as their queen, their representative of Arendelle, not Anna.

She knew that that very fact grated on her little sister's nerves to no end. From the time they were toddlers, it had been 'Elsa this' and 'Elsa that', the platinum blonde princess had been doted on because she was the heir, the next queen, the future of Arendelle, and Anna... while Anna was just as loved as her sister, she was still known as the 'spare heir', the 'second-born' princess, the 'wild child' of the royal family, the one who needed to be reigned in and who was only good for being married off at eighteen to some far off kingdom or minor noble. Elsa loved her sister, dearly, but that was the reality in their lives. Anna was the spare, she would always be the spare.

"The firstborn child is to rule, and the second born is the marry into another kingdom, in the hopes their spouse takes the throne. The only time the second born will take the throne of their home country, is if something happens to the first. Your sister will marry a noble or perhaps someone of another court entirely, while you rule Arendelle. And once you come of age, you yourself will marry, Lisbet. That is the way of royalty, unfortunately."

"But Papa, can't I marry for love?"

"Very few royal marriages are aligned for love, Lisbet, my darling girl-"

"But you and Mama married for love."

"You're right, Gitta, we did. But it had come after years of courting, and at first, our marriage was looked down on, because of who I am."

"But who would look down on you, Mama? All of Arendelle loves you."

"Just because Arendelle loves me, does not mean those within our court do; when I first married Papa, our marriage was looked down on, because I was of lower birth."

"What do you mean?"

"I was a commoner in Arendelle. No one realized that where I come from, I am actually royalty."

"You're royalty, Mama? Really? Are you a princess, like me?"

"In my kingdom, I am. Which means, you are not just the Crown Princess of Arendelle, but what could be the Crown Princess of my homeland as well."

"Really? I'm two princesses?"

"You are a princess of two kingdoms, Gitta, darling. Arendelle and the Northuldra."

"Mama, what's... Northaldra?"

"Northuldra. It is where I come from. I am the princess; had I stayed, I would have become queen some day, just as you will become queen of Arendelle upon your twenty-first birthday."

"Will I be a good queen, Mama?"

"Oh, Gitta, you will be a wonderful queen. Remember, a good ruler must put her people first and her family second. She is the face of the kingdom, when people think of the country, they think of her. You already hold Arendelle's heart, and once you become queen, you will hold more than just theirs. You will hold the world's, for your kind soul."

She now knew that Northuldra was not a place, but a tribe, and that had her mother stayed, she would have become the next chief, must like Yelena. But how did Iduna dare describe her life to a twelve-year-old, let alone her own daughter? Elsa knew that she very much had the mind of a child in certain ways; partially because of her isolation, and partially because of her fear of emotion. Emotions only made her powers stronger, forced them to become more out of control, she knew that now. And back then, on one of the rare occasions Elsa had been let out of her room to join her parents in the library for 'ruling lessons' as she'd called them, Elsa had spoken childishly, and Iduna had noticed, but hadn't said a word. Elsa's growth, emotionally, had been stunted.

She knew that now.

Now though, she turned her attention to the letter in her lap. She didn't want to break the seal, read what her sister had written; she didn't want to have to hear the biting of her sister's voice in her own head, read the hurtful words, deal with the tantrum that would undoubtedly be within the pages. For the briefest of moments, she considered just shoving it in the desk drawer with the others and forgetting it, but then she realized that she couldn't just do that. She wasn't that cruel. Besides, depending what was in the letter, would determine if Elsa should dignify Anna with a response or not, anyway.

So, taking a deep breath, Elsa quickly cracked the seal before unfolding Anna's letter, dreading the words written upon the pages.