Ruby stared at her breakfast. Her plate was incredibly packed with eggs. Why was there nothing else? She had no idea. Her best guess was she pissed off the chefs. Something about ringing the bell at the lunch line nonstop for about ten minutes till she had food at three in the morning. Beacon did promise 24 hour service.

She took her seat just outside the mess hall, under a window, and stuck her fork into the eggs. Very few people came about this side; the only thing that way was the Headmaster's tower. Ruby suspected she would eventually see Goodwitch pass by with scraped knees, but that had yet to happen. There had to be some reason Oz kept her, and she was a firm believer that principal's and their secretaries will bang at one point.

Sure enough, footsteps came from the hallway. Not wanting to be seen catching the nefarious deeds, she used a little too much Aura and jumped into the brace above her. The footsteps grew louder.

What she was not expecting was her partner to walk by instead. From this height, Ruby couldn't see the state of Blake's knees, and for whatever reason, she didn't exactly want to. She did have a slight limp, but that may have been from yesterday's initiation.

Blake stopped and looked at the abandoned plate of eggs. They were half eaten and covered with hot sauce. Oddly enough, she waved her hand at it, as if trying to fan it. Maybe she was stoned or something. Ruby never did drugs. It wasn't that she was a body purist, but they were too damn expensive. How could she get her metric fuck ton of ammo if she spent her money on something that will last maybe an evening? The trade wasn't worth it.

Eventually, Blake shook her head and left. This time, Ruby noticed a black bird eating the eggs off her plate. She somehow avoided screaming at the damn thing. Instead, she counted to thirty; hopefully enough for Blake to be out of earshot.

Twenty seven seconds later, Ruby jumped down, hoping to catch the bird. The bird, seemingly expecting this, grabbed the plate with its claws and beak, and flew away. This was clearly not the first time it had done this.

Ruby vowed to put a stop to the menace. She reached for her holster. Regrettably, her pistol was still broken, and would not be coming back soon.

Damn thing. She would have her revenge. Revenge takes skill. Skill requires training.

It was a half assed excuse for something she was going to do anyway, but she still looked for ways to justify her nighttime escapades. Ruby doubted anyone cared at this point, and the reaction was more out of instinct than anything else.

The warm-up routine was especially important on cold days like these. Vale didn't snow much due to ocean currents—only Patch did because the extinct volcanic island reached high enough into the sky—but the most and humidity made 60 feel freezing.

She started with a quick lap around the campus. Just a way to ease up her muscles and not be freezing for stretching. Then she would do her stretches. Duh. Often they were focused on her legs; agility was much more important to her than raw force, so she rarely worked her upper body out. Then, the fun begins.

Fun is certainly an applicable for what this was. Forms were important to keeping form, but proper practice required a partner. Qrow used to coach her, and they would spar. Those days were in the past now.

Her more recent partnerships could only be redeemed once, and after that, one party expired. The larger and more dangerous Grimm could be found in the old volcanic tunnels on Patch, but sulfuric gases, heat, and pressure stopped her from attempting an abyssal dive into the heart of the mountain. So, she settled for less. A pack of beowulves, an Ursai, occasionally the younger Deathstalkers without the… extra appendage. They weren't human opponents though, so she started a Fight Club for Signal students. Its first rule: tell everybody, they needed more members. The second rule: they never got to that. The adults caught wind and shut it down.

But then it started again, with a rule change. The first rule was to not talk about fight club. The second was much like the first. Ruby, however, quickly realized that the social scene did not suit her, and left the fight club to her sister. Yang instated a rule change. The first rule became: tell everyone, we need more members. It was said the teacher who caught wind of it this time was the history teacher. Needless to say, Yang failed that class for "Failing to grasp its core concepts"

Ruby silently agreed.

But, this still left Ruby without a partner to spar with. This brought her to where she was now, unpacking her personal training robot. She called it PENNY, for Personal Enhancement Non-human Nemesis Yoke. It was combat ready, probably more so than most of the underclassmen in the school. It wasn't quite capable of speech, but it did have a method of communication and surprisingly had an aura. It had a built in scroll chip, and could text Ruby. Ruby had built her first friend.

And it was no small miracle it had Aura either. Somehow, the existence of a soul made the whole coding a machine learning program to process multiple variables and scenarios and adapt to them much easier, probably because she didn't have to at all. Penny's soul simply assimilated the hardware, and became sentient. She didn't even need to charge, presumably energy came from the soul. This brought many aspects of life into question; too many for Ruby to care about now that she had a friend to talk to and spar with.

The boot up sequence took all of a second, then Ruby's scroll started pinging like crazy. If it was on vibrate, it could have been mistaken for a phone call. The first texts were expected after seven years of seeing them.

Friend Ruby!Hi!Hi!Hello!How do you do on this fine morning? I'm feeling very alive!

Ruby spoke normally to the robot, "Hi Penny! I'm great right now, especially considering where we are"

A small satellite dish looking antenna popped out from Penny's shoulder. It twirled around before retracting.

This is sensational! My CCT triangulation locator says we are within one hundred feet of the Beacon CCT. Why are we at Beacon Ruby?

"I got accepted to Beacon! And I had to bring you along"

Splendid! Does this mean we can be super cool future Huntresses?

"Penny, we already are! Think about where we are"

The cyborg looked through its eyes. They were the most expensive piece of hardware in her, having been developed between the two about three years after her creation. The previous cameras took shuttering photos, forcing Penny to devote lots of processing power to it. Penny claimed it gave her a headache.

These new ocular devices still had a focusing lens in it, but it's reception and data transmission worked in a manner similar to the photolysis stage of photosynthesis, generating electricity in reaction to certain light frequencies. Each 'chlorophyll' was reactive to certain lights, and were compact and organized enough to create an electronic image map of what a scene looked like. They were as living as Penny was. The result of this, however, was that Penny now had to breath and drink water.

It appears we are in a training room at Beacon.

"Not a training room, THE Beacon training room"

Sensational! Does this mean we will be training?

"Yessir-ma'am. Yes ma'am. Yeah that. We discussed this already. Enough talk! Now we fight!"

Penny drew a sword from a pouch on her belt. It folded out to be a three and a half foot single edged longsword. The center had a Gravity dust crystal embedded into it, as did the tip. The robot had complete control over it.

Ruby's sword slid from it's sheath on her belt. She held it in one hand in front of her. Her normal sidearm had abandoned its sheath due to mechanical malfunction (user error), severely limiting her elemental and ranged options. The disadvantage was manageable.

Ruby set up a time on her scroll. There was a five second countdown, followed by a buzzer and the stopwatch.

5

4

3

2

1

The buzz was unhearable as the two friends clashed for the first time in a week. Sword met sword, and steel sang like ringing bells. Ruby burst into petals, drifting to Penny's right side. With a shout, she thrust her sword at the metal being. Contact was made, and Penny's blade whipped around, knocking on Ruby's blade. Ruby, expecting this, twisted her blade up, exposing Penny's side. She snuck a few punches in the opening through her semblance before being shoved away.

Ruby bounced back on her feet. Unfortunately, silver eyes lost the girl before her. A familiar whir from above alerted her to the cyborg's presence, but by then, it was too late.

Ruby's head took the blunt of the hit, and she could feel her aura wavering. Ruby grabbed the girl, now behind her, and hurled her over her shoulder.

Penny threw the sword into the ground before she got close and personal with it. Rolling into a better stance, she drew herself to the gravity dust in the sword. Inertia carried her past the blade, even after she ripped it from the earth, and she twirled as she used the gravity dust to swing the sword like it was on a pendulum.

Ruby placed her palm on the flat of her sword, and deflected the attack to her left. It planted itself firmly into the ground. Right before it flew back to Penny, Ruby grabbed the sword and was dragged along. She leapt from the tip and head-butted the metal android. Ow.

Shaking off her daze, she assumed a boxing pose. It offered her less protection than she would have liked, and got kneed in the gut by Penny. She soon found herself on the ground, held in a triangle and seatbelt hold. Ruby tapped.

She stopped the time. 5 minutes. She wasn't quite tired, but she certainly wasn't up to another round without food.

Then she received her win tallies from Penny

Penny - 9471Ruby - 1253

She still held an advantage. In all fairness, Ruby was good, but Penny's improvement rate was probably better than anyone else on the planet.

Friend Ruby, are you feeling okay? You underperformed, even to your standards.

"I'm fine, it's just that a bird came by and stole my breakfast. And I know you don't mean it, but can you please not roast me that hard? It's worse because I don't think you realize you're doing it"

What is it worse than? I didn't think you had any other friends besides me

"Penny! Even if that is true, it still proves my point. You would be an epic rap bot. Imagine the humiliation of getting dumped on by a literal robot"

I am a literal robot. We with the mind of circuits and signals can conceive every possible way to roast someone till they're six feet under.

"Sensational Penny! Hey, you should probably meet my team at some point. They'd love to get to know you. Probably. Weiss would spend a good few days questioning your existence. Blake would probably think you're a sex doll that I built because she's a coomer who has a whole ass porn shrine and would totally build a living sex doll given the chance. You know Yang"

I see… so your team is… Team BRYW, led by Weiss, formerly Weiss Schnee. Contains three high value targets, two security hazards, and has a predicted rating of A for class trouble making. All members of the team must be watched at all times.

Huntsmen on Duty: Qrow Branwen, Glynda Goodwitch, Winter Schnee, with James Ironwood and Ozpin as reserve. Do not allow out of sight.

Ruby's mouth hung to the floor as she read this. She shook her head violently. When that thought still hung to her, she slapped herself. It still didn't go away. This probably meant Penny actually just hacked some secret file on Beacon's servers and she wasn't dreaming. It also meant that somebody was watching her. Looking around, the only places one could watch her was from the windows; the doors to the training room could seal shut to contain a particularly nasty fight. Everything else was barren.

Looking up, she saw nothing, just a crow eating from a plate of-

Ruby reached for her pistol. Sadly, she still hadn't bought a new one yet, or made one. Beacon's workshop could and would be used very shortly. Penny's ranged features were limited to a shorter range where she had full control of the gravity dust crystals in her blade. She still motioned to the bird up in the window.

"Penny, look. That bird stole my breakfast, and is still eating it. I think it deserves to die"

Ruby, have you considered that maybe, perchance, that crow eating your breakfast may be related to one of your guardians.

Ruby pondered that. Her first thought was that the witch bewitched the corvid somehow. She wasn't sure how Goodwitch's semblance worked, so it was still on the table. Ozpin's semblance was also unknown. Anyone on the receiving end did not live to tell the tale. Winter and Ironwood were in Atlas, but it might be a surveillance drone. She had seen memes about how birds were government surveillance drones- Penny especially found them funny -and Atlas would certainly be the Kingdom to instate something like that. Qrow's whole spiel was edgy Bad Luck, and she spent enough time with him to have a familiarity with it; it was probably the reason Qrow stopped teaching her.

Probably.

"Penny," Ruby began, "I don't know if we can attack that bird. I first saw it near Blake, and she came from the Headmaster's office. It probably is controlled by Ozpin somehow. Maybe his semblance is Beastiality"

I don't think you know what you're talking about, friend.

Ruby giggled at that. "Nah, course I do. It's when you have like mind control over animals n' stuff"

I have heard before ignorance is bliss.

The semi-redhead stopped there. Last time she heard Penny say that, she got the talk. Not about sex, that was the time before that. THE talk was about all of the rules of the dust net she thought she knew. She can never unlearn 63, 34, or the two mixed together. Rupert Rose stalked her dreams and had an absolutely massive (Censored by the People's Republic of Mistral) that he swung around at her and even her mother for a whole two weeks. Not even instant ramen or funny Faunus videos made her feel at all better.

With a trembling voice, Ruby Rose asked the fateful question, "Penny… what's beastiality?"

It's when someone has violent and passionate sex with an animal.

Ruby wanted to vomit. Her whole view of the dust net was ruined- forever. There were so many people into beastiality, Grimm too. Her initial understanding of it made her laugh at strings talking about it, but now. She knew that sexual things on the internet are probably true. There's probably some Grimm human hybrid from these… monsters.

"Let's… let's leave the bird alone… I need some thinking time…"

Do you mean sleep?

"Yeah I could use a nap, it's only like thre-"

The clock on her scroll read 5:45 A.M.

"Penny, deactivation sequence!"

Penny's eyelids shut, and she folded into an inconspicuous suitcase. That weighed around 175 lbs. No biggie.

Ruby frantically dashed from the training center, and sprinted toward her room, heavy ass suitcase in tow.

Ah, to write random bullshit that comes to mind and half assed fight scenes. Truly the internet is a wonderful place to allow creative individuals like myself do these incredible things. And to answer the question all of you are silently asking, no, Ruby has no banged Penny. Yet. And for the silent poll nobody will respond to, should I bring in Penny Polendina as well. There is an important destinction between the two, but ultimately the defender of Atlas wouldn't contribute much if she was also added. The two of you that read this far lmk what you think.