"Where were you? I'm trying to run this team and keep everyone organized, and you decided that being on time for anything just won't work for you! What were you doing that is worth us getting detentions on your first day?"

Ruby had just entered the room, only to be immediately bombarded by Weiss. She had her mouth open to answer when Yang noticed her bag.

"She was probably out playing with her sex doll"

Blake perked up at that

"You have a sex doll?"

"It's not a sex doll! She's Penny!"

"Do you mind if I use Penny?"

Penny unfolded and began booting. Within three seconds of initial movement, she was loaded. Ruby looked to her scroll and read something, "Hi Ruby! Sup Yang! Salutations, Weiss and FBI watchlist terrorist! It is a fine morning here at Beacon isn't it?"

Everyone looked at Ruby with bewildered expressions, except Yang who was trying her damnedest not to laugh. It had limited success.

"She's not a sex doll. I mean really, would any of you tap that?" Ruby asked

Blake held her tongue. For whatever reason, answering yes to a rhetorical question that implied 'no' in regards to Ruby's sex toy was probably not exactly the smartest move she could make. Funny games like these were won by not playing.

"I've made my point. Penny, deactivation sequence."

Ruby looked to a text on her scroll. Blake couldn't quite ready what was sent; the younger girl's hand was just in the way of the text.

"No Penny, I'm not telling her that. Now go to sleep. We can train after classes"

Another text.

"Penny, please, you're probably wrong, and I'm not taking the aftermath of the crap show you would cause if I did"

Yang interrupted, "Sis, it's 'shit-show'. Say it with gusto"

Ruby ignored her.

"I'm not asking again. Penny please, we can do this later. I'll give you her number and you can tell her yourself"

Everyone perked up at that.

"Hey uh Ruby," Blake began, "why can't she speak?"

Ruby giggled like it was obvious. "When I built her, I didn't give her a speech function or equipment for something even relatively like that"

"Why haven't you changed that in the seven years you've had her?" Inquired Yang. Surprisingly thoughtful for someone who drinks Monster, but Blake didn't judge. Much.

"I mean… uh… why change what works right?"

Beep beep

"Penny, back me up on this, say it works!"

Beep beep ding

"Goddamnit Penny! Fine. I'll give a speech function, just hold on"

Blake thought she would see the Second Great War start when Ruby opened Yang's backpack and removed her stereo system. She was certain bloodshed would come when Ruby started prying it open and removing the speakers. As such, she was simply mute when all Yang did was write down something on a piece of paper with an incredibly smug face.

"Remember Yang, I told you five percent interest rate, not fifty. If you scam me one more time, I'm sending your credit card history to Dad"

Yang laughed at that. "Like you have access to that"

"Penny, tell her the last three purchases she made"

The definitely not sex robot made a few squeeky sounds before announciating in an unidentifiable, but audible and legible, accent "Purchase History: Nairobi drill bits, 14.37 Lien; Nairobi Battery powered Hammer Drill, 129.78 Lien; 3lbs cucumbers, 7.52 Lien"

Whatever Blake was expecting to hear, Yang's… tension release was not it. A hammer drill, seriously? She knew from Adam it was better to not ask questions; although on reconsideration she probably should...

"I'm not sure if I should be happy that Penny isn't an Aussie, or scared she has my credit card history"

"She also probably has access to Blake's search history"

Blake felt her blood chill. Then she realized she was being ridiculous, and everyone here besides Yang had seen her former mega porn stash. Its successor was in creation now, and it would make hentai great again.

"Sorry friend Ruby, established protocols prohibit me from describing any of it"

"You don't have any restrictions I thought?"

"Hardware level restriction. You didn't want to see any romantic or sexual implications when you were eight"

The catgirl in question coughed. She was certainly open to the idea of a reenactment with Penny, but doubted Ruby would like that much. Why that mattered to Blake still confused her.

"Not to interrupt our little meet-n-greet, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only person here who can read an analog clock. We have like forty seconds to get to first period"

Weiss, while assumptive and hyperbolic, was not wrong in that they would probably be late.

Ruby was the first one out the door. Looking out, amber eyes found a trail of petals leading down the hall. It was the wrong way to Grimm Studies, but the effort was visible. B_YW went the correct way to the classrooms. APLN passed them on their way, Jaune's hair pink for some reason, but they otherwise were uninterrupted on their mad dash.

When they entered the room, Blake wasn't quite sure what to expect. It had the standard classroom seminar setup, with ascending desks surrounding a lower central teaching area. But everything else wasn't standard. Every wall was covered with plants. There was green everywhere. The man standing before the chalkboard was clad in nothing more than some leaves and vines. A fruit tree sporting very round golden fruit hung over him.

The bell rang as a red rocket (lol) shot into the room. Ruby scanned the room, eventually finding her partner and seating herself next to Blake.

"Well. It appears you all have stumbled across the Garden of Peter: the origin of great Huntsmen and Huntresses. Some of you are great fighters, many of you have previous training, but none of you have the limitless knowledge of unparalleled experience. If you want knowledge," the teacher plucked a fruit from the tree, "find it at its roots"

Blake was trying to not have a panic attempt at the implication of another Adam in her life. Fortunately, this Adam was a cosplayer and not an abusive boyfriend. Probably. She certainly hoped there was a happier Eve in the teacher's life. The teacher took a large bite from the fruit, looking like a huge asshole in the process.

"I am Peter Port, and probably the best fighter in the school. I have well over sixty years of field experience that I can, and will, impart unto you children. It is my duty to prepare the next generation to defend our homes. However, if any one of you can best me in a duel, right now, you pass the class and don't have to attend for the rest of your term at Beacon. I have quite literally slain Grimm with a paperclip, so if you can defeat me while I'm well armed, you have no fear of any Grimm. However," he looked to the now excited class, "This is your only opportunity to do so, and only one of you can advance this way. The order we battle is in the order you sign this book" Port pointed to a book on his desk.

The class stared on in silence. Nobody dared move first.

"Well, this offer only lasts this period, so I suggest you get moving"

An explosion of people flooded the center. People all rushed to sign the book as fast as possible to get the first crack at the teacher. Blake considered signing up with the rest of BRYW, but she hadn't ever really fought Grimm before. This class would certainly be useful for her. And if Port was a better combatant than that witch lady, she did not want to mess with him.

Small fights broke out as kids struggled to get their names down. At the rate they were going, Blake figured, most of them wouldn't be fit for combat at all. Slowly, the crowd dissipated and the floor cleared.

"Well, let's see who we have first… Pyrrha Nikos!"

A great number of people groaned. They almost certainly lost their chance at skipping class. After all, no amount of Grimm can top a three year world class tournament fighter, right?

Pyrrha's rocket came at the push of a button on Professor Port's scroll. She grabbed her weapon, shield, and armor, then headed into the changing room. Within five minutes, the gladiator emerged. Javelin pointed at the enemy, she stood prepared. A counter rang over the speaker system.

3…

2…

1…

Peter Port is the winner via ring out!

An explosion had occured in the pit. As the smoke cleared, Blake saw something astounding. Pyrrha had just disappeared, the rotund professor in her place. Blake looked around the room, finding no evidence beyond her team that she had even been in the room. Suddenly, she noticed a large hole in the ceiling. It let in a nice ray of light falling onto the almost nude man in the middle, but had a suspicious shape similar to a human.

"Class, this is why it is critical you have a landing strategy perfected before coming to Beacon. I imagine she'll land right next to Barty's room as the period begins. Anyone else interested in testing their might?"

No brave souls came forth to the ring.

"Guess we just have to go through the list then… next up, Ruby Rose!"

How the speed semblance girl did not make it there first confused Blake, but she figured Pyrrha's was probably similar or faster.

As the locker came down, Ruby ignored it and walked past it; instead, she simply pulled the sword from her belt, pointing it at the teacher with a glare harder than steel.

3…

2…

1…

Begin!

Ruby immediately sped as low to the ground as possible. With luck, the fat man wouldn't notice her go right beneath him. Just like last time, he rushed in and tried to get an axe uppercut on her. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't there, and kicked the knee of the man inward as he charged.

He fell backwards, arching his back and neck to view behind him. As he did, he spotted Ruby, and pointed the gun at her. Too slow.

Ruby dashed to the side slashed at the teacher. The land whale moved out in time, but Ruby had already pulled something from her pocket: a stolen shotgun shell from her sister's bag. Slamming the hilt of her sword into the pin, it shot a slug right at the Professor. While it pinged off of his Aura, the onscreen counter saw it drop by a hefty 12%. They stood apart from each other now, staring each other down in an anime-esq way. It was probably intentional as Port looked like he was ready to give a monologue on how he's never had someone last longer than 5 seconds against him in the last fifty years or something.

"Impressive, girl. Nobody besides the faculty has stood for more than 10 seconds in the ring with me in the last twenty years. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you are Summer's daughter after all"

Something snapped in Ruby's mind.

With speeds she had never reached before, she was at his throat. Just as she was about to cut him, she noticed his smirk and the barrel of a Blunderbuss pointed at her. Ruby jumped over his head to his back and locked her sword around his throat; she held the flat against it tight with both hands.

His Aura began to drop as it struggled to keep him breathing. Suddenly, he just fell backwards.

The weight of Atlas must've fallen on to Ruby, because she left like she was being completely and utterly crushed by the weight of the world. Her aura began dropping by 10% every second. She pushed… just a little clos-

Peter Port is the winner via Aura knockout!

The fat man sat up.

"Even still, you have much to learn"

Blake was mildly frightened of the people in this room now. Sure, Ruby was good enough to get in two years early, but she was still two years younger than her and vastly beyond her own capabilities. If everyone was that level… actually, that's a silly thought. Ruby's just insane. Pyrrha Nikos lost instantly against Port, and she was more… human somehow than whatever shit show (she thought it with gusto) she just watched. A hyperactive red blur vs a scantily clad fat man. Something told her she could never forget that.

Blake watched as Ruby sat down, mumbling something. With her good ear, she heard something about "...pistol, would have won"

The older girl gave the younger a pat on the back, then they watched the professor tear through the rest of the foolish participants.

Woah. Did I… did I update? Possibly. In case you're wondering what's up with updates, I started another story that's looking pretty cool so far. Considering I don't plan this one ahead, at all, things might get jumbled up. Forgive me father, I have sinned. And yes, it's short, but hey, at least it happened at all. Between life, sleep, and everything else, this kinda got back seated. I'm not dropping it anytime soon (probably). And if I plan on dropping it, it'll be an absolutely terrible ending that results in everyone dead. Here's an example of what it might look like:

Ruby and Co. made it to their next class: history. Just as they entered the doorway, a green blur left the room and trampled them all to death. All team APLN saw of them left was a pile of blood, coffee, and clothes. Suddenly, a bomb blew up in Bacon academy, killing all the little piglets and finally letting Ruby see her mother again. The happy ending.

That would be the whole chapter. But I like this low effort writing where I just kinda do whatever, so why stop? Anyways, enough of me ranting. Time for the Dragon Ball rip off.

Will Blake ever understand her feelings to Ruby? Will Ruby ever realize Blake has feelings for her. Why haven't we seen Jaune in ages? Find out next time on Runs and Goses Z.