Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Elsa's secrets will be revealed in the next chapter...

Written: 2019 - Licia

A soft sigh escaped her throat, as she set down the pen, capping her inkwell and flexing her fingers. After supper, she'd left the tribe, returning to Ahtohallan. After fixing a cup of tea, she holed up in the library, pulling every book she could find on mythology, legends and fairy tales, and proceeded to compile a list of everything she could find on trolls. After two and a half hours, she'd thoroughly exhausted her mind, eyes and fingers, and stood, stretching as she made her way to the sofa and lay down. A fire crackled in the grate, warming the room just right, and lulling her into relaxation.

Her mind went back over the list sitting on her desk beside the box, and she sighed.

Trolls are legendary creatures from Scandinavian folklore, thought to be giant, monstrous magical beings, who lived in castles and were hostile towards any and all humans, and who turned to stone if exposed to sunlight.

So, kind of like the mythical, blood-sucking beast known as the vampire. She rubbed her eyes. Good to know. With a yawn, she stretched her arms over her head, letting herself melt into the softness of the sofa, despite it's iciness. For all her powers over ice and snow, it always amazed her at how soft some of her creations could be- and she wasn't counting Marshmallow or Olaf.

Later cultural tellings speak of trolls being either human-sized or smaller, but not as small as the Fae, and they have not lost their menacing, threatening behaviors, exacting tolls or tasks from humans who come across their paths. Depending on the region, they can either live within the mountains, near the sea, or valleys-

She let her gaze wander to the flames. Valley is right. If what Papa said is true, the Valley of the Trolls came about from the blood of the mad queen and her son spilling upon the stone. But the trolls had always been nice to me; they helped Anna after the accident... She stopped, shifting onto her side.

They are known for transformations, reciting prophecy, and stealing humans, usually either maidens or small children, almost always of the blonde variety, for blondes represent purity of heart and innocence of soul, and often, when a child is taken, another- one of troll origin- is left in its place. This is known as a troll changeling. Meant to cause chaos and bad luck, they are similar to Fae changelings, only uglier, meaner, and often they possess unhealthy attractions of the sexual nature to other family members within the household they have been left in, such as parents, or siblings.

Without meaning to, her gaze shifted to the desk, to the drawer where Anna's letters resided. A troll changeling; that is definitely what 'Anna' is. Only a troll could write such, horrible, nasty, vile, disgusting things. Only a troll could write of dreaming of sleeping with the sister of the girl she was exchanged for. Only a troll could-

She bolted upright, something screaming in her head that she'd forgotten Anna's letter back at the camp. She quickly ran though the day in her head, realizing that she'd done just that. "No... no, no, no..." Without a second thought, she hurried from the library, down the stairs and out of the palace, stumbling across the rocks to the water's edge of Ahtohallan. "Nokk! Nokk, please! I need you! Nokk!"

After several minutes, the horse appeared, whinnying. She relaxed, hurrying to the water's edge. The water spirit stared at her, trying to discern what was wrong, before it knelt down and allowed her to climb onto its back, sensing the distress in her countenance. Without so much as a command, they took off back across the Dark Sea, Elsa's mind wandering to letter. If anyone found that letter... or worse, if Hans found that letter...

How would you even be able to describe its contents? You can't even describe it to yourself. And he doesn't need to know what's going on, it's better if he stays out of it. This is your issue, your fight. He's finally gotten to a point where he's near fully recovered, and all him helping you would do would be putting him at risk, possibly resulting in him getting hurt again. You can't risk that.

On instinct, Elsa leaned down, resting her hands and forehead against the Nokk's neck; the frost covered him completely before they even touched the shore, and she sat up, releasing a breath as they galloped towards the camp. It was not yet fully evening, and many in the tribe were still up, sitting and talking or enjoying the coolness of the evening. Several people looked up as Elsa came riding up on the Nokk, but no one thought to say question it; it was normal to see her return to the camp on occasion after she'd returned to Ahtohallan. At the outskirts, Elsa dismounted, patting the horse's neck with a soft, "I won't be long, I promise."

Then, she hurried through the camp, nodding occasionally to the others present, before hurrying into her hut. Quietly, so as not to wake him, she pulled back the flap, and stepped inside, a swirl of snowflakes in her palm giving off dim light, despite the firelight. Where is it? Where did you put it? Her gaze landed on the blankets and the bedroll, and she relaxed, hurrying towards it and starting to shift them, only to stop, and realize they weren't the same blankets that had been there earlier.

"Where is it?"

"What are you doing back here?"

She stood, turning to find Hans standing not far away, the shirt he wore- the one from the gypsy camp, she realized, because it was light, and given the cool weather, especially at night, easier to sleep in than what the Northuldra wore- open on his frame. Her blue gaze moved from his face down to his chest, and she felt her mouth inadvertently drop at the sight her eyes took in. Though not overly toned, Hans was still fairly toned- must have been from years at sea and manual labor after returning to the Isles after the debacle in Arendelle- and clearly, he didn't let the exile keep him from keeping a routine. He was broad shouldered, but not too, and she could clearly see some definition in his muscles. There was a light pattern of hair on his chest, and she found herself nibbling on her lower lip as she realized it was as red as his sideburns.

His skin was a soft tan, most likely due to his hours in the sun on the sea, and the work he'd started doing to help around camp, which only made the green of his eyes stand out all the more. Slowly, she let her gaze wander lower, to just slightly past his navel. She continued to chew on her lower lip as her gaze followed the light line of hair that started beneath his navel, and moved to the hem of his pants, her cheeks beginning to warm as her thoughts strayed to very... inappropriate areas.

"Els?"

Her head snapped up, gaze going back to his as he stepped closer, breaking her concentration, and he watched with confused mirth in his green gaze as a pink blush began to blossom on her pale skin. She really is quite adorable when she blushes. He quickly cast the thought aside, knowing she had to be here for something important, otherwise she wouldn't have returned. He'd quickly picked up on a pattern with Elsa- when she did leave to return to Ahtohallan or wherever she went, she usually didn't come back for a day or two, sometimes more, and never hours after she'd left, unless it was important. Clearly, whatever had forced her to return was too important for her to leave until the next day. And he had a feeling he knew what it was.

When still she didn't speak- just continued chewing on that poor bottom lip- he held out the letter. "Were you looking for this?"

Instantly, her gaze snapped to the letter in his grasp, and she pounced, the gnawing of her lower lip forgotten. "That's my letter! You didn't read it, did you?" Automatically, he held it up, out of her reach, and she glared at him. "Come on, Hans, that's not fair!"

"Why would I have read it? I found it under the blankets when I cleaned up the hut this evening. As soon as I saw it was the royal seal of Arendelle, I figured it must be for you." He backed up, and she jumped, just missing it. "I'll give it back, but you have to answer me something first."

"Come, on, Hans, that's not funny! You're taller than me!" She sighed, stopping. "What do you want me to answer?"

He lowered the letter, turning it around so she could see the seal. "This is Arendellian, but it's not your seal. I know your seal; I kept the formal invitation that was sent out in regards to your coronation; mainly because I thought it was beautiful, and the thought of attending a queen's coronation was thrilling, especially when I was told I could attend. But this... it's someone else's. From what I've been able to gather, you gave up your throne. I want to know why."

She narrowed her gaze. "Why do you want to know?" She demanded, hands on her hips. "So you can try and steal it again, once you're fully healed?"

His mouth dropped and his eyes narrowed, clearly hurt by her accusation. "No! Gods, Elsa, I thought we were past that!"

"Then why do you want to know?"

"I want to know because... because..." He growled softly in annoyance, taking a deep breath. "What would make the famous Snow Queen..." He sighed.

She waited, arms crossing over her chest in annoyance. He better have a damned good reason for demanding to know my abdication and walking away from the kingdom and people I love so much. If it's not, I swear I'll-

"I want to know what would make the Beloved Philosopher-Queen of Arendelle give up her throne, her country, her very kingdom to live in the woods up north with a tribe most people believed to be a myth until a few years ago! What happened, Elsa? From what I could figure, you were a good queen, a strong queen, clearly loved by your people and your country. Why give that up? What was so important that you walked away from your crown in exchange for a life in the forest as a... as just another... person of lowly birth? You're not, Elsa! You're not of low birth, you've never been of low birth, so why are you living like you are? What's happened to Arendelle? Who's running it now that you're gone? What are you doing here?"

She sighed, reaching up to run a hand through her hair. This was not what she wanted; she wanted to be able to get her letter, and flee back to Ahtohallan, keeping Hans in the dark about the situation for as long as humanly possible, because it wasn't his concern. If only she'd thought to grab the letter before she'd left-

Her gaze darted back to him; she saw the concern, the worry that filled his gaze, flit across his face. This wasn't his concern, it was hers, and she didn't need him getting in the way of what she needed to do. After a moment, she reached for the letter, but he once again held it out of reach. "Hans, give me my letter."

When she reached for it again, he took the opportunity to snag her around the waist, pulling her into his chest. Her hands, cool to the touch, rested against the warmth of his skin, and he quickly fought the chill that raced up his back. Their gazes latched onto each other, before he leaned down and kissed her firmly.

"Now," He whispered, slowly pulling away. "tell me what's going on, Elsa, and I'll give you back your letter."

She swallowed thickly, glancing at it before back at him. "You don't want to know, Hans."

"Oh, I think I do." He held the letter a little higher when she reached for it. "Now tell me."

But she remained closed lipped, her gaze moving down to study the hair on his chest, her fingers moving up to trail through it gently to distract herself. She wouldn't give in; it was for his own good. Frost appeared beneath her fingers, indicating she was distracted, and he grunted softly, tightening his hold on her waist in response to the cold. She let out a squeak as he squeezed her a little too hard, more frost appearing beneath her hands as part of her reaction. "Elsa."

She glanced up at him, before lowering her gaze, gathering her thoughts. She couldn't let him know; it was too fantastical to believe. It would only result in him getting hurt if he tried to help her, and she couldn't- wouldn't- put him in harm's way. She had grown to care for him too much to risk him. This was her battle to face and hers alone.

You're being stubborn. He's not offering his help, he simply wants to know what's going on. He's concerned, he's worried about you. That's not helping, that's not offering help, that's simply wanting to know what's concerning the woman he loves so. Her breath hitched. Love? This isn't love, this is... infatuation, lust. Nothing more. Hans doesn't know how to love, nor do you. And in that way, you're a perfect pair.

"Elsa, please, talk to me." He reached up, caressing her cheek, his thumb grazing over the apple. Slowly, she let her eyes drift upwards. He watched her, worried, forehead knit in concern, the corners of his mouth dipped into a frown, green eyes overflowing with worry. "I thought we'd gotten to the point where we trusted each other."

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped, the little voice in her head speaking up. Trust? What does he know about trust? He only knows how to steal it, how to gain it and then break it. You can't trust him with anything you say, he'll just twist it and use it against you. This is your issue and yours alone. You have to protect the river.

With that singular thought in her head, she pulled away, yanking herself out of his grasp, and snatching the letter back, now that it was at a level she could reach. "What do you know about trust, Hans? Nothing! Nothing other than breaking it!"

Then, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the hut, trekking back towards where the Nokk waited. That's right, you did the right thing. He would only use what happened against you, and you can't risk that. Go back to the river, where you belong, little Princess. Go back, and protect it. You belong there. You belong to the river and the river belongs to you. You are its protector, its guardian. Without you, it will be at risk, and anyone could get to it. People are dangerous, you know that. Remember what they called you? What they wanted to do to you? You are safer away from people, safer at the river, for you are bound to it and it is bound to you."

"Elsa! Elsa, wait!" She wrapped her arms around herself, hurrying through the camp, trying to ignore his voice, the sound of his footfalls getting closer. Finally, she grabbed the reigns, and gently patted the Nokk's neck.

The river gave you life, just as you gave it life. It is your duty to protect it, to watch over it, for you are bound to it. Go back to it, my little Princess, and forget the Prince who would only seek to hurt you. She met the Nokk's gaze. "Let's go home."

But just as the Nokk knelt to let her mount, Elsa found something blocking her way. The staff Hans had made her, the staff she'd left in the hut and forgotten to take with her when she left after supper, was keeping her separated from the horse. She turned as Hans lowered the staff, stepping into its place. "What are you doing?" Without a word, he slid the staff behind, horizontal, until it lay across her hips and pulled her close, trapping her. "Hans, let me go."

"No."

And without another word, he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers, gently, at first, then firmer; his tongue brushed gently against the seam of her lips, politely asking for entry, and Elsa, who at first did all she could to keep him at bay, felt herself slowly give in as she melted against his chest. Her lips parted slightly as she reached up, an arm moving to wrap around his neck, and slowly, he released the staff, sliding an arm around her waist and holding her close.

The kiss deepened.

And as Elsa felt herself give in more and more to the kiss, the voice in her head began screaming. What are you doing? Get away from him! Get away! Shove him off, blast him with your ice if you have to! You have to go back to the river, it needs you! You serve the river, not your own interests! You belong to the river, and only the river! You do not belong to this... this imposter prince! He wants you for one thing! He'll steal your virtue and then take your life, and then where will you be? Go back to the river, little Princess, now!

Hans held her close, stealing her breath even as he gave her his, keeping her other hand against his heart, as he drank her in. The letter crumpled in her hold, and she was only briefly bothered by it, for the taste of him was intoxicating, and she craved more. When finally they broke apart, desperately needing air, he rested his forehead to hers, reaching up to cup her cheek. "Please, Elsa, tell me what's going on. I beg of you, you've been keeping me in the dark, and I won't stand for it anymore. I know you have issues trusting people, but please, let me in. I only want to help."

Her eyes closed of their own volition as he nuzzled his nose against hers, and Elsa so greatly wanted to trust him. She took a deep breath, tears she'd been holding back for so long dripping onto her cheeks. Tenderly, Hans brushed them away. "Shh. Elsa, please, please, don't cry."

Could she really trust him, this man who had at one time locked her sister in a study to freeze to death, who had called her a monster and tried to behead her in attempt to gain her crown? That man, no, you couldn't have trusted- he had only bloodlust and greed within his heart. But this man-

Slowly, she opened her eyes, letting her gaze study his face. He had tried so hard to redeem himself; branded a traitor, stripped of his title, served his sentence, been exiled from his home country, left to wander the forests until coming upon the gypsies... though she had no idea what had happened exactly at the camp, and Hans never revealed it, she suspected he'd tried to stop the carnage, and gotten grievously injured for it. And now, he was helping the tribe, doing all he could to make it a little easier on everyone in regards to the work... even going so far as to help care for his one-time enemy.

Yes, this man you can trust. And he needs to know. Mama and Papa said that it affects him too. You can't hide it from him any longer.

Taking a deep breath, she slid her hand back down to his chest. "Are you sure that you really want to hear it?" He nodded at her breathy response. "Because... it's a long story, and I may no necessarily have the courage to tell you all of it."

"I do, Elsa. I want to hear as much as you're willing to give." He kissed her then, softly, tenderly, before pulling away and kissing the trails of her tears. Elsa glanced at the Nokk, who nuzzled her with his frosted nose and then turned, returning to the river, knowing she'd call for him when she was ready. With the horse gone, they returned to the camp, Hans arm never leaving its spot around her waist.

As they walked, she gathered her courage; this story would be neither easy nor quick; it was no fairy tale and there was no happy ending to believe in. Her small fingers found his of their own accord, sliding through the ones at her waist and squeezing gently. He glanced down at her, smiling softly before pressing a kiss to her head. Others noticed the pair, saw the tender way he held her close as they returned, watched her fingers slide into his, and the looks they shared. A smile tugged at Yelena's lips as she watched the couple- for if it was not evident to them, it was evident to everyone around them- meander slowly back into the camp, interests locked on each other, as Elsa sought to gather the courage to finally tell her secret. "Take your time, Els. I'm not going anywhere."

His words seemed to give her courage, and she took a deep breath, glancing up at him before clearing her throat softly and beginning. "Once upon a time, there was this tribe..."