Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: I found the family tree Zani had written out for this chapter.

Written: 2019 - Licia

"Elsa. Elsa!" She turned back as Hans grabbed her arm, waiting silently. "Are you really sure about this?"

Her gaze locked on his, before she poked her head around him to make sure they were alone. Then, she grabbed his hand and tugged him back to her hut. Once the flap was down behind them, she turned, meeting his gaze. "Honestly? Not really, but we don't have much of a choice, Hans." She sighed, going to him. "I can honestly admit it now, that I'm in love with you, I think I have been, from the start, and... I do want to spend my life with you. The thought of you leaving the camp... it makes me sick. Like I can't bear to be separated from you."

He slid his arms around her waist, holding her close. "You need never worry, Elsa. I'm not going anywhere. I have nowhere to go, and I'm content here." He shrugged. "I feel like I have a purpose, being with the Northuldra. Something I was distinctly lacking in the Isles." He kissed the top of her head, sliding his arms around her until she was held tightly beneath his chin. A sigh rumbled through his chest, and she closed her eyes. "I just... never imagined myself a married man. Not even knowing we were once betrothed."

She pulled away, meeting his gaze. "You don't want this?"

"No, no! I mean," He sighed, releasing her to taking her face in his hands. "I do, I want this, I just... never imagined..." Silence fell, and he rested his forehead to hers. "What if it happens again, and I can't stop myself? What if I kill you... and the river gets its wish? I don't want to hurt you, Elsa. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt you. Regardless of my past actions."

She nuzzled her nose against his. "I know, Hans. But I also know that you stopped yourself. You didn't follow through. That already makes you stronger than the voice in your head. I saw the terror in your eyes after you realized what you'd tried to do. Hans, no matter your past, you don't have the heart to kill, not anymore. Not unless your life depended on it." She brushed a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling away. She started to pace, before stopping, her back to him.

Something was gnawing at the back of her mind, something that wouldn't leave her alone. "Els? What is it?"

"All these... legends... they're just... stories the ancients used to describe... science before science had a name." She turned back to face him. "Aren't they?"

He shrugged. "I guess. Yeah, if we really think of it. Why? What do you have in mind?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. "Why... gods? I... I understand that ancient civilizations were often polytheistic, which meant they worshiped or believed in many gods at one time, but still... different stories for the same beings?" She turned away; her train of thought taking off and not giving her a chance to finish her thought. "If we look at this, it's one story... one story with multiple ways to get to one ending... one ending that is bad..."

"Elsa? Elsa!" Hans hurried to her, taking her into his arms. "Elsa, breathe. Breathe!" He'd quickly learned that Elsa's periodic bouts of mumbling were often due to when she trying to figure something out that just wasn't making any sense- which often led her to forgetting the ever-present need to breathe. On more than one occasion, it had resulted in her passing out from lack of air. Maybe her being an immortal being wouldn't be a bad thing if she kept this up.

"Elsa!" He took her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Damn it, Elisabeth, breathe! Figuring this out is not worth," He managed to catch her, wrapping his arm around her waist as he felt her knees buckle. "not worth you passing out due to lack of oxyg-" With a soft groan of annoyance, he did the only thing he knew could bring her back.

He kissed her.

It was something he'd learned a few weeks ago, when she got to overthinking and essentially panicking, that if he kissed her mid-mutterings, it forced her to respond. She had to take a breath then- even if it was only the breath he was giving her from his own lungs. And, as it had time and time again, she responded to the kiss, sliding her arms around his neck as she kissed him back. After several minutes, he broke the kiss, resting his forehead to hers. "Stop doing that, please. Next time it happens, I may not be here to kiss you and then where would you be?"

"Normally when I'm overstimulated, I end up a sobbing mess curled up on the floor." He narrowed his gaze, and she gave him a weak smile, reaching up to tangle a hand in his hair. "I'm sorry. I forget that I do that sometimes. I'm just-"

"I know. You have a brilliant mind, that never stops working." Gently, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, before pulling away and tugging her towards the blankets. Normally, Elsa would protest and flee back to Ahtohallan, but with the new revelations she was faced with, she really didn't want to be alone, plus, it was her hut, even if Hans was sharing it, it was still hers. She willingly sat before Hans, and only briefly questioned what he was doing before she felt his fingers work gently along her shoulders, working the knots out of her back. She hissed. "Elsa, you have to stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop thinking and worrying so much. It's not good for you. All this tension will kill you one day." They both froze, before, "I'm sorry, Els, I didn't-"

"No. It's fine, Hans. Might as well get used to saying it, since it's going to happen, whether we like it or not." She sighed. "Whether it's by Ahtohallan's hands or another's, at some point it's going to happen." Silence settled around them again, and soon, she felt his fingers begin to work their way through her scalp, gently moving in circles to relax her, and she sighed, tilting her head back.

"I really don't see how you don't give yourself a continuous headache, with the amount of thinking you do on a daily basis. Have you always done this? Doesn't your brain hurt all the time from the amount of thinking you do?"

Elsa shrugged, closing her eyes. "Compared to the amount of thinking you do, it would seem like a lot. Ow!" She pulled away as he tugged firmly on a strand of her hair, turning to glare at him, her tone clipped and tight. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice, sweetheart. I was just-"

"Running that smart mouth of yours, darling." He replied, in an equal tone, reaching down to smartly tap her nose. Her glare turned into a scowl. "Don't scowl, it's unbecoming on a beautiful woman like you. And stop worrying so much, you'll give yourself wrinkles." He kissed her sweetly, before returning to his work.

"I'm not scowl- you think I'm beautiful?" She got a raised eyebrow in return, and blushed, ducking her head. Clearly, she still wasn't used to compliments, even all these years later. Once finished, he slid his hands down her shoulders and around her waist, holding her close. She leaned her head back against his shoulder with a sigh, and they settled into a semi-contented silence, despite the thoughts swirling in both their brains. "What if I don't want it?"

He pressed a soft kiss to her head. "What's that?"

A soft sigh, and she pulled away to meet his gaze. "What if I don't want to guard Ahtohallan for the rest of eternity? What if I don't want to be a goddess?" She stopped, biting her lip. "What if I don't want to get married or have a child?"

"You don't want this?"

"No! I mean.. I do, I just... Hans, I'm scared."

Gently, he reached up, taking her face in his hands. "Oh, Elsa, shh. It'll be okay." A moment passed, before he brushed a soft kiss to her lips before pulling away with a sigh.

"Can we write this down please? It's hard to keep everything straight." She furrowed a brow, watching as he quickly dug around for a piece of parchment and a quill pen. Yelena had taught him how to make parchment from bark, quill pens from feathers and ink from berries a few weeks earlier, when he'd asked how they kept track of things; it was something that took so long for him to realize- the Northuldra may not have used not very primitive methods, but they didn't have as advanced technology as Arendelle and the Southern Isles or any other kingdom either, yet they seemed to be doing just fine, if not better than the most advanced kingdoms. Loggings were kept on things such as surplus and amount, how much was needed to, say, feed the entire tribe for a week or a month or two, the best routes and paths to hunt, the correct ways to fish and skin game... everything was kept very meticulously; much of what the people knew was taught or trained, other things such as legends and lessons were orally passed down, like Elsa's lullaby...

For being such a 'primitive, isolated' people, as many in the 'civilized' world called tribes like the Northuldra, they were remarkably advanced, despite their isolation. Yelena had told him that that had been cut off from the rest of the world for thirty-four years, which had given them plenty of time to perfect their 'primitive' methods. "We will only adapt to what we believe will benefit the tribe. If it does not ease our burdens in any way, we will not adapt it. We know what works for us, and we do not need nor truly appreciate outside annoyance, influence or interference."

Hans had apologized for being one such annoyance and interference, and Yelena had simply chuckled. "I believe you were more an annoyance and interference to my niece than to the tribe. You have been a great help to the tribe, we appreciate your assistance when it is offered, and will never turn away your offer to help. Elsa, on the other hand... she is-"

"Something else entirely."

Yelena had laughed at that, admitting he was right on so many levels, and then stopped him, reaching up to cradle his cheek. "I have watched your interactions with her, seen the way she responds to you, how she looks at you. You need not try so hard anymore; you have already won her heart, despite how much she protests. You just need to give her time to accept it. She is Iduna's daughter; my sister was known throughout the tribe for her stubbornness and pig-headed about what were perhaps the smallest slights; to her, they became the greatest tragedies. I can only hope she grew out of such... persistent beliefs into something more akin to adult thinking, perhaps with motherhood she grew up. But because I did not see her after the mist fell, I cannot truly know. I can only know by what her daughter tells me. I choose to believe that Elsa's inheritance of Iduna's stubbornness is a small part of my sister come back to me. And that, perhaps, in her last moments before Death stole her away, she found it in her heart to forgive a foolish older sister who was only trying to look out for her that long ago day."

Hans had taken the chief's hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles like the gentleman he was, and was surprised when Yelena hadn't pulled away or scoffed in annoyance, that she'd accepted the gesture as one of comfort. "I am sure she did. And perhaps Elsa's stubbornness is simply the Northuldra way." Yelena had chuckled at that.

"My niece's stubbornness is her mother's way, not necessarily the Northuldra's. Iduna was famous within the tribe for her refusal to budge on anything, and it appears her daughter is the same. Which is good. It will help her, possibly even save her, in the long run."

"Hans?" He looked up, pulled from the memory by the very woman he and Yelena had been discussing that day. She waited, and he nodded, blushing. "Sorry... thinking. Go ahead." A moment passed where she looked as though she wanted to ask, before she took a deep breath and shook her head. "So... Great Mother left Ahtohallan over from the last ice age, and the five spirits-"

"Um..." She looked up; Hans sat, pen poised above the parchment, confusion on his face. "Great Mother?"

"Mother Nature." She replied curtly, and he nodded slowly. "Great Mother is simply the Northuldra's name for Mother Nature. Because everything comes from Mother Nature."

"Technically, everything comes from God, not nature, for God created the universe, created the earth and the rivers and mountains and on the seventh day He rested, or so according to the Bible, which is most likely true." She narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Don't go pulling that religion hokum on me, Johannes Christian Westergård!"

"Andersen! I told you, I'm no longer-"

"I don't care! Just write!" She snapped, a headache beginning to form at her temples. "Please."

"Already you sound like a nagging wife." He grumbled, but the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth belayed his mirth. "We haven't even had our wedding yet, and we're already arguing like we've been married for years." The grin grew, despite his best efforts to hide it.

"Shut up and write." She growled, shoving him lightly.

"Yes, Ma'am." He chortled softly. "So, Mother Nature-"

"Great Mother."

"Same thing." He quickly jotted it down. "Next?" He looked up, to see her rubbing little circles on her temples. "You okay, dahl?"

She rolled her eyes at the name. "Fine. Just... getting a headache." He quickly set the pen and paper down, standing.

"Let me go get you a cup of coffee." And before she could protest, he was gone. With a sigh, Elsa took up the pen and paper, and began jotting down what Yelena had told them. She quickly drew a line down from Great Mother, adding the five spirits beneath her.

Water, Wind, Fire, Earth, Soul

Then, in the far corner, she scrawled out, King and Queen of the People of the Sea, drew a line down and then two lines out and down, before writing Crown Prince beneath one and Prince beneath the other. Then, on the other side of Great Mother's small tree, she wrote out King and Queen of the People of the Spring, drew a line down, and two across and down, before jotting Crown Princess beneath one and Mad Queen beneath the other. She added the mad queen's marriage and children, adding descendants at the last minute, because she was one of them, before turning to the center.

She had a sneaking suspicion that Soul was the youngest of the five spirits- and yet, she'd placed Soul in the center, between Wind and Fire, and then suddenly realized why. Quickly, she extended the line in the center, stopping it at just above where the Prince and Crown Princess hung. It took mere seconds for her to draw a dashed line from the prince leading to the princess, before she drew a short line from Soul, and connected it to the Crown Princess, cutting off the dashes instantly.

Once done, she set the pen down, capped the ink, and surveyed her work. Yes, that shows the connection perfectly.

"Here, drink." She looked up as Hans held out a cup of steaming coffee, and after a moment she took it.

"Thank you." As she took the cup and took a sip, he took the parchment from her.

"You finished it already?" She nodded.

"It was fairly easy, once I got everything written down." She sighed as he joined her, gaze going over the tree. "The princess's death broke the betrothal with the prince, and Soul took over her... spirit? Body? Either way, Soul used her to continue her job, but the princess wasn't strong enough to fight the river. I still don't see what makes them gods, though."

Hans sighed softly, eyes never leaving the tree. "It was easier for ancient peoples to explain why something was happening. If winter came and the crops died, it was because Persephone was forced to return to the Underworld to be with Hades. If a ship went down in the sea, it was due to Poseidon's anger over some slight. If a woman failed to conceive, it was because Hera did not receive the prayers she was promised-"

"Frigg, as well." He finally looked up at her then. "She was the ancient Norse goddess of fertility and childbirth. If a child died during the birth, it often meant that Frigg had not received the offerings or prayers she was promised, and so took the child as punishment and payment." Elsa stopped, blushing. "Or... so I've... read..." She quickly buried her attention in her coffee, and Hans chuckled softly. He set the parchment down and pulled her close, until she was seated between his legs, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist.

"You sure you're really okay with this, Els?" She met his gaze.

"You said it yourself, Hans, we don't really have a choice. But we love each other, so that makes it easier. And, considering we were betrothed at one point... seems only right, doesn't it? we were meant to marry, but my parents' deaths broke the betrothal. I'm trying to look at this as... as being them getting their wish- for me to happily married." She reached up, stroking his cheek as he rested his lips to her forehead. "I cannot guarantee we would have had a happy marriage had we gone through with it as my parents had intended." She swallowed thickly. "We would have made each other miserable, been horrible to each other, grown to resent each other and the situation. At least now..." She sighed, briefly stopping the rhythm of stroking his cheek. "At least now, I can assure Mama and Papa that I will be happy, that we will be happy, no matter how much time we're given."

She met his gaze then, and after a moment, he leaned down, capturing her lips in a soft kiss.