Sorry for the delay posting this one. I had some technical issues that left me without my laptop for a little over a week, and needing to rewrite this chapter.

WARNING - This chapter does deal with the loss of a child, and the emotional fallout of that. If this is something that you're not comfortable reading but you still wish to read the chapter, I've marked where the section begins and ends with this CSCSCSCSCS There's only 1 in this chapter. If you wish to skip over this update completely I would fully understand that. Please make your choices based on what is best for you personally.

"There you go. I hope you enjoy them. This is one of my favorites." Belle tapped the cover of the book on top of the small pile on the desk before she pushed them over to where an eager young boy was stood, with his mother just behind him.

"Thanks, Belle. I'm sure we will. Have a great week."

"You too. I'll see you guys soon," she promised, as the young mother grabbed her son's hand and headed for the set of double doors to her left.

Belle turned her attention back to the returns she had been logging before her favorite customers had come to visit but only made it through two more of the books when her phone started to vibrate on the desk. Normally, she would send the caller to voicemail and get back to them on her break. But when she saw Ruby's name flash across her screen, she reached for the device instantly.

"Hey, Rob? Will you be okay on your own if I take this? It's about my friend who's in the hospital."

"Sure," Rob agreed. Belle had been devastated the day she'd gotten the news about her friend, so none of them ever protested when she slipped away to take calls giving her updates about Emma's condition. After all, they knew that if they were ever unlucky enough to be in her position, Belle wouldn't hesitate to do all she could to help them.

As soon as she had the door to the small breakroom closed behind her, Belle swiped to answer the call and lifted the device to her ear.

"Ruby? Is everything okay? Is Emma…"

"She's awake," Ruby cut in. "She's finally awake, Belle."

"Oh thank God." Belle slid down into a seat and allowed all of the tension she'd been carrying for almost a month to drain out of her system. Those three small words had never sounded so good before. "How um… how is she?"

"Confused. And tired. But Victor says that's to be expected. I'm just… God, Belle. I'm so glad she's awake and talking again. I didn't…" Ruby cut herself off suddenly and Belle waited patiently for her friend to finish her train of thought. "A part of me wasn't sure I'd ever hear her speaking again."

"I know. I um… I had nightmares about the same thing," she confessed. "This is it now, right? We don't have to worry about any more complications or anything? Emma can just focus on her recovery?"

"She'll likely need more surgery, but it shouldn't be near any major organs. So, that's something."

Belle relaxed a little further at that confirmation. Her friend wasn't completely out of danger yet, but she had hope that Emma was through the worst of things. "Is uh… is there anything I can do to help at all? Anything I could send that she needs?"

"Maybe a card or something, just to let her know that you're thinking of her? The Boston Police Department still has her phone for evidence, but I don't think Emma has the ability to make or receive calls right now."

Belle was already nodding her understanding, even though she knew her friend couldn't see it. "Can I um… I have Friday off. Do you think she'd be up for visitors?" She didn't want to intrude on the time Emma's friends were spending with her. Especially given how close everyone had come to losing her. But Belle knew she'd never truly be able to stop worrying about Emma until she'd had a chance to see her friend awake and talking for herself.

"Can I get back to you on that one?" Ruby asked, with what was clearly a forced chuckle. "They're talking about moving her to Boston soon, so she can be closer to all of the resources they have in the city. I don't want you to make the journey down here if Emma's gonna be making a journey up to you, on the same day."

"Of course. That makes sense." Belle hadn't even thought about the idea of Emma being transferred closer to her home. It would make things more difficult for her friends, of that she was certain. But Belle was hopeful that she and Regina would be able to make up for that. They would be able to visit Emma regularly when she was in their city. "Gimme a call when you know more, and until then, will you give her a hug from me?"

"Of course. Take care of yourself, Belle."

"You too."

Belle disconnected the call the moment she'd finished speaking but took a few additional minutes just to sit in silence and absorb all of the news that she'd received. When she finally left the breakroom fifteen minutes after she'd entered it, her smile was wider and far more natural that it had been over the previous month.

Rob wasn't the only one in the building who noticed it.

Emma hadn't been awake for long when Doctor Whale swept into her room once more, with an unfamiliar face following close behind him. While Whale took a seat on the table opposite the end of her bed, the other guy made his way over to her side with a warm smile on his face, and a large folder tucked under his arm.

"Good Evening, Emma. I'm Doctor Smith and I'm an orthopedic surgeon based in Boston. I was part of the team that worked on stabilizing the breaks in your pelvis," he explained.

"Hi," she whispered back. But she didn't say anything else, because the guy was certainly giving off a vibe that said he wasn't the type you made small talk with. And Emma was in too much pain to bother trying.

"I just wanted to take some time to explain to you about the damage you suffered there, and what we've done to address the issue. Then we can talk about how your recovery will progress, and I can answer any questions that you might have for me."

Emma nodded her understanding but tightened her grip ever-so-slightly on Killian's fingers. She wasn't sure she could bear to hear any more bad news that day. She was only just managing to hold herself together as it was.

Smith fiddled with the large file he'd bought in with him before he pulled out an x-ray film and held it up to the light for her to see. "This was the first x-ray taken of the break in your pelvis," he explained. "The one you can see here was caused by the impact of the bullet. But if you look very closely, you can see another hairline crack here, which was originally missed by the surgical team. It's very easily done. Especially with the urgency needed to stabilize you, given the other injuries you'd sustained during the attack. This one was likely caused by the fall you took, and wouldn't have rung any alarm bells at the time, as the bone looked to be intact."

Emma nodded to show that she'd heard what was being said, but the information wasn't really sinking in. Her mind was still foggy around the edges, tinged with exhaustion and pain – both physical and emotional. Which made it incredibly difficult to focus on what Doctor Smith was saying, and why it was so important.

"This image was taken just before we fitted your external fixator," Smith continued, as he pulled out another film. "Pelvic breaks and fractures are incredibly unstable, and as you can see here, that hairline crack became a break, which was what triggered your internal bleeding. Doctor Whale managed to stop the bleed for you and then sent us these images so that we could come down and fix the damage for you. We call this type of injury an unstable break, as it left the ends either side of the bone displaced. In order to fix that, we needed to fit the external fixator."

He paused for a moment to whip out a third x-ray image, which she assumed had been taken earlier that day. Emma and Killian both cringed a little at the presence of the foreign objects inside of her body, but they could also see the difference in the bone alignment between the two films Smith had already shown to them.

"This is today's," he pointed out unnecessarily. "As you can see, the bone is already beginning to heal, but it's a very slow process I'm afraid. We're hoping to have the fixator off in around two to three months' time, but we won't be able to say for sure until then. It's something we'll judge based on how you're healing, rather than a fixed period of time." He slid the last image back into the file and then sat the whole thing down on the end of Emma's bed.

"Now, normally we'd encourage our patients to get up and move about while they're recovering, as it would speed the process along and prevent muscle atrophy. And while the fixator looks restrictive, you can actually walk with it on. However, given the extent of your injuries, and the fact that you're struggling to feel sensation around the area, we're not going to do that just yet. Without a scan of the muscle I can't be sure, but I'd be willing to bet that atrophy is already setting in, so we're gonna look at transferring you over to Boston as soon as we can, to start on your physical therapy. A therapist will be able to help you gradually work those muscles that are a little damaged and haven't been used for the last month or so, until you're strong enough to get out of bed and move around again. The last thing we need right now is to push you too far, as that will just set your recovery back further. How does that sound to you?"

Emma's attention moved over to Whale at the end of her bed, before she turned to face her boyfriend, and then back towards Doctor Smith. So much had once again been said in such a short space of time, and she wasn't really sure where to begin processing it all, let alone putting into words how she felt about what had been said.

"It's okay," Killian assured her, as he lifted her hand to his lips. He seemed to know that she needed some help, even without her asking for it. And she loved that about him. "I've already made a few inquiries for us. There are some lovely homes in Boston, close to the hospital, that we could rent while you're there. All I need to do is place a few calls when the time comes."

"But your job," she protested, because Emma hated the thought of keeping him away from his work and his fans for so long. While she wouldn't pretend to know everything about his employment contract, she knew that he could get into a lot of trouble for not finishing his time with the show. And she certainly understood how quickly the fans could turn against him if they thought he'd jumped ship.

"It can wait. The network knows what's happened, Emma. They know that you come first. I can go back next season when we start filming again, and you're ready to come with me. All that matters right now is getting you better. And that means getting you out of this bed."

Emma wasn't really sure what to say to that. She knew that she didn't deserve to have someone like Killian in her life. Someone who was willing to give up so much to be with her, while she was still healing. But God help her, she knew she could never let him go. Being with Killian made her feel loved and cherished in a way she'd never experienced before. She was too addicted to the comfort his embrace brought to her, and the thrill his kisses sent through her body, to send him away.

"When can we make the move?" Killian asked, as he lifted his head to direct his question back to the two doctors in the room. "You know I'm all for getting Emma out of this town as soon as I can."

"I would say within the week," Smith told them both. "We just need to make sure that accommodations are put into place for Emma, and then we can look at going ahead with the transfer."

"Make sure she gets the best possible care," her boyfriend declared. "I don't care what it costs. What her insurance won't cover, I will."

Smith nodded his agreement even as Emma opened her mouth to protest. She didn't need anything fancy. All she needed was Killian by her side. As long as he was there, she knew she could battle her way through whatever else was thrown her way.

"I'll make the calls now and let you get some more rest, Miss. Swan. I'll be back tomorrow to check on you," Smith said, before leaving the room with Whale hot on his heels.

Emma took a moment just to appreciate the silence once more before she turned back to face her boyfriend. But when she opened her mouth to speak, he beat her to it.

"Don't! I know what you're going to say, Emma, and I don't care. You will have the best possible care while you're recovering, and that's the end of this debate."

"Okay," she whispered softly, as she watched that haunted look pass through his eyes once more. It was a look that told her this was just as much for his peace of mind as it was about her recovery. Killian needed to know that he was doing all he could to help her, and this was his way of achieving that.

When Killian woke later that evening it was with a start. His wide eyes bounced around the room as he tried to work out what it was that had pulled him from his sleep. He had made it over to the cot against the wall that night when Emma had fallen back under the pull of the medication. But as his eyes landed on his girlfriend's face, he realized that might have been a mistake.

Emma whimpered again in her sleep, her face screwing up a little at whatever she was seeing in her dreams, and he pushed himself off the cot.

"Hey," Killian whispered softly, as he dropped into the chair beside her bed and reached up to run a soothing hand over her hair. Emma flinched at the contact and he hesitated for a moment, before continuing his caresses. "Hey, it's okay, Sweetheart. I'm right here. You're safe, Emma. You're safe."

Emma's heart rate was picking up, the spikes on the display jumping higher and faster with it, and Killian started to panic. The last thing they needed was for her nightmare to give her a heart attack. And with everything they'd both already been through, he wasn't willing to rule out that possibility.

"Emma," Killian called a little louder, as he shook her shoulders gently. "Emma, wake up for me, Love."

When she finally did it was with a gasp of surprise as her eyes struggled to focus in the darkness of the room. She turned her head to meet his gaze, and Killian found himself relaxing back into his seat once more as the lines on her monitor settled back into a steady rhythm.

"You were having a nightmare," he explained, while the door to the room cracked open and spilled in dim light. Janet met his eyes briefly and he gave her a soft reassuring smile before he turned his attention back to his girlfriend. "You're safe now, Sweetheart. Nobody's ever gonna hurt you again."

Emma said nothing but she did turn her head into his hand, to press a kiss to his palm.

"Do you um… do you remember what you were dreaming about?" he asked carefully.

Emma closed her eyes for a brief moment as she tried to recall the details, and then shook her head sadly when she couldn't. "I just… I was scared. That's all I remember. I was so scared, Killian."

"It's okay," he soothed, as he leaned in to press his lips to hers. "It's okay, my love. All that matters now is that you're safe. I love you, Emma."

"I love you too," she said, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.

Emma gave his fingers a gentle squeeze as he lowered their hands back to rest against the bed before he stood up to stretch out his body. The cot the hospital had given him was one of the most uncomfortable things he'd ever slept on, and all of the awkward positions he'd been sleeping at were doing one hell of a number on his back.

But there was a more pressing discomfort making itself known, now that he was awake.

"I just need to use the bathroom. Will you be okay? Do you want me to call Janet to come in and sit with you?"

"I'm fine," she assured him, although they both knew that it was a lie. But Killian was gracious enough not to push the issue. (However, that didn't stop him from asking the nurse on the station just outside of Emma's room if she'd mind checking on his girlfriend, while he was using the facilities.)

"Is it okay to come in, Dear?" the older woman asked, poking her head around the doorjamb. "Your monitors registered a slight spike earlier, and I just wanted to check the readings so that Doctor Whale doesn't yell at us in the morning."

"Sure," Emma chuckled, as she tried to pull herself a little further up the bed. She wasn't much in the mood for sleeping after her nightmare. The older nurse, whose name she didn't know, was soon by her side, helping to arrange the pillows and blankets to make her comfortable again before she reached for the chart at the end of the bed.

"I uh… I had a nightmare," Emma said suddenly, as she watched the woman make her way over to the computer by Killian's chair, where she began pushing some buttons. "I'm guessing that's what caused… that."

"It looks like you're right," the nurse agreed. Apart from that one small blip, Emma's readings had been steady and normal for a few days now. It had been incredibly reassuring to everyone involved in her care. "And that's nothing to be ashamed of, Dear. We all get them, and not all of us have been through everything that you have."

"Thanks."

"Would um… would you like me to call anyone for you tomorrow? Maybe Doctor Hopper? He could help you work through your dreams if you're ready to talk about them."

Emma appreciated the offer that was being made, but she couldn't imagine opening up to someone she knew as well as Archie. Not that she could remember anything that would be worth talking about. "Thanks for the offer, but I uh… I still don't remember anything. I keep trying but… I don't even remember how much time I'm missing," she confessed.

The older nurse propped her hip against the side of Emma's bed as she offered the young woman a tight smile. "It'll come back when you're ready," she assured her. "And not just physically, but when you're emotionally ready to confront it all. You've been through a lot these last few weeks, Emma. Much more than most people will ever face in their lifetime. Don't push yourself too hard, Dear."

"Thanks."

For a moment the room was silent, but it wasn't the uncomfortable kind that usually came from being in an enclosed space with a stranger. Emma appreciated that everyone was being gentle with her because she wasn't sure she could handle anything else right then. But she also appreciated that everyone she'd spoken to was being honest with her. She didn't want things to be sugarcoated. That would only drag out the pain that had been eating a hole through her heart since she'd woken up.

"Where's that fiancé of yours?" the nurse asked suddenly, as she cast a look around the room, almost like she thought he would be hiding behind a curtain.

"Who, Killian? He's um… he's just using the bathroom," Emma explained. "He'll be back soon."

"Of course he will. We had to practically force him out of here under doctor's orders when you had your last surgery. He really hates the idea of leaving you alone. You um… you have a good one there."

"Yeah, I do." Emma had always known that her relationship with Killian was better than the one she'd had with Neal. It was healthier. But seeing how dedicated he was to her, and to their relationship, proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that she'd been right to accept his proposal.

She only wished that she could remember the event itself.

"I'll let you get some more rest," the nurse said, startling Emma out of her thoughts. "You can reach your call button if you need one of us, right?"

Emma lifted the small device that rested against her left thigh to show the concerned nurse, who gave her another gentle smile before she headed out of the room, leaving the sheriff alone with her thoughts for the first time since she'd woken.

"Emma? Is everything okay, Sweetheart?"

She startled at the sound of her name being called and turned her head to find a very worried looking Killian once again sat in the seat beside her bed. He had her hand held tightly between both of his, and he was leaning forward with his concern.

She couldn't remember him coming back into the room.

Emma would add that small moment to the long list of things she couldn't remember right then.

"I'm fine," she reassured him. "I was just thinking. There's… there's so much I can't remember, Killian. I hate it. I hate having this huge gap in my mind. I don't… I don't remember what the last day I actually remember is. I don't want people to have to repeat things to me that they've said before. Or to tiptoe around me because they don't want to bring up something that they think I might have forgotten. And I… I can't remember your proposal," she finally whispered, as the tears began to build in the corners of her eyes once again.

Emma hated crying, and she'd done more of it in the last two days than she had in the last two decades of her life.

"If there's anything I don't wanna forget, Killian, it's our relationship. And I can't remember the biggest moment of it so far. I feel like such a shitty partner right now."

"Hey, shush," he soothed, as he leaned forward to gather her into his arms as best he could. "It's okay, Emma. You are not a shitty partner. You… you haven't forgotten my proposal."

"Yes. Yes, I have."

Killian pulled back to put some space between the two of them so that Emma could read the truth and apology behind his words. "You didn't forget it, Emma, because I haven't proposed yet. I will. One day soon. When you're ready for it. But I haven't done it yet. I just… I told the nurses here that I was your fiancé because they wouldn't let me see you. I'm sorry, Love. I just had to see you. And then when my mam got here she said the same thing because she was worried they wouldn't tell her where I was. I'm sorry, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry we upset you."

Emma reached up to run her hand through the longer hairs on top of his head, before sliding it down to cup his cheek. "It's okay," she assured him. "I'd have done the same thing." She paused for a moment as his words played on a loop in her mind, before she added, "For what it's worth, when you ask I'll say yes. It's been rather nice being fake engaged to you for the last two days."

"If we're being really technical, it's been almost a month," Killian chuckled, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist.

"Huh. Well… if we've been fake engaged for that long, you probably shouldn't keep me waiting too long for the real deal." Emma's eyes were bright with her humor for the first time since she'd woken, and it was the most beautiful thing Killian had ever seen.

"Marry me?"

Emma giggled a little at his words, but she stopped the moment she caught the look in his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." Killian paused for a second to try and gather his thoughts, but he wasn't really sure where to begin putting them into words. "I know this isn't romantic, and it's not the right time or the right place. But… maybe that makes it right for us, Emma? I mean, we just went through something that most people can't even begin to understand. And it's only made me love you more. It's made me want to be with you more. I don't wanna waste the time we have left together, Emma. I don't want to have any regrets when it comes to our relationship. So yeah, I'm serious. I want you to marry me, Emma Swan."

Emma was silent for a moment as she allowed Killian's words to fill her mind. A part of her was busy screaming that it was too fast, and that if they rushed into things there was a good chance they could both grow to resent that decision. But a much larger part was busy reminding herself that she'd almost lost him. She had come so close to never seeing those beautiful, expressive eyes of his again. To never feel the tenderness in his touch, or hearing the way his voice caressed his words, as he told her that he loved her.

Emma never wanted to think about a future where that could possibly become her reality. And as soon as she realized that, she knew that she had her answer.

"Okay," she whispered softly. "When I'm out of this bed and moving around a little more freely, I'll marry you, Killian Jones."

"Seriously?" he asked, pulling back a little in surprise. "I uh… I was convinced that you were gonna say no there."

"Is that why you asked?"

"Oh, God no Emma. I want this. I want you. I just… I just thought you'd think I was a bit of an idiot for suggesting it. Especially given everything we're going through right now. But I want this, Emma. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He leaned in to brush his lips softly over hers, lingering when her hand came up to stroke gently over the line of his jaw before he pulled back to rest his head next to hers on the pillow.

"I'll um… we can look at rings tomorrow if you'd like? You can pick out something you love and I'll have it made for you."

"I don't need a ring, Killian. I just… I just need you."

Killian wanted to protest that she deserved a beautiful engagement ring. Especially as Neal hadn't bothered to buy her one when he'd proposed. But he also didn't want their first conversation after their engagement to be an argument. So he didn't bother pushing the issue too much.

"In that case, I'll buy you one when you're out of here, and then propose to you properly."

"How about you just buy me a wedding band instead, and when I'm back on my feet, we'll go somewhere and get married? Just the two of us. Somewhere we can be alone together for a while. That's all I want. That's all I need, Killian."

"That sounds perfect to me," he agreed softly. He lifted her hand to his lips and placed a firm kiss in the exact spot where sometime soon, Emma's wedding band would end up resting.

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Killian was sitting awkwardly on the edge of Emma's bed, with an arm wrapped around her shoulders, as he ran gentle fingers through her hair. He was pretty sure that his fiancée was asleep, but he didn't want to leave her. Not after her earlier nightmare.

So when Emma suddenly spoke, he startled a little.

"I think we should cremate her."

Killian's fingers stopped moving for a moment as he allowed her words to sink in before he started his ministrations up again.

"Your mom's right. We shouldn't bury her somewhere that doesn't have meaning to us. And after all of this… I don't wanna bury her here. She shouldn't be buried in the town that killed her. And I don't have anywhere else. Nowhere else has ever been a home to me."

Emma paused for a moment to turn and face him, and Killian could see the damp trails over her cheeks. "He took that from me. He took my baby, my ability to have children, the last four weeks of my life… and he took my home, Killian. He took it all from me. And it hurts so much."

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

Emma nodded her head to show that she'd heard him, but she didn't say anything else. She didn't want to lie and tell him that it was all okay, because the truth was that it was far from okay. She was far from okay. Storybrooke was the only place she'd ever thought of as home, and now that had been taken from her. She didn't doubt that she'd eventually find a new home, with Killian by her side. But she hated that her memories of the town would forever be tainted by what had happened to her in it. And by what she'd lost in it.

"I think we should have her cremated, and then we can scatter her ashes in a place that has special meaning to us both. We could maybe do that keepsake thing you suggested too?"

"I'll start making all of the arrangements," Killian promised, as he leaned down to brush his lips over her forehead. "Have you um… have you thought about what you want to tell everyone?"

"No. A part of me doesn't want to tell them. I don't want the looks and the pity that will come with it." She raised her head again to meet his eyes, as she clarified, "I know they'll all mean well. I really do. I just… I need time to process this first. My head's a mess right now, Killian. And I can't… I don't think I can cope with trying to deal with everything while everyone's asking how I'm doing, and offering their condolences. I can't pretend I'm okay when they all know I'm not. But I don't want to hide her either. I'm not ashamed of her. She doesn't deserve to be hidden away and forgotten."

"She won't be. We won't forget her, Emma. When you're back on your feet and feeling better we can try and come up with a way to honor her memory. Something that will let us give her the kind of legacy that she deserves to have. Until then, we can keep it between us. But you um… you should know that I think Mary-Margaret knows. I didn't tell her. I just um… I guess I reacted badly to something she said a few weeks back, when I was playing with Leo. And she worked it out from that. But she hasn't said anything directly to me."

"She wouldn't. She's a good friend. And an even better person."

"Yeah. She is."

Killian leaned down again to brush another kiss over Emma's hair as he tucked her into his side and settled back against the bed as comfortably as he possibly could. He'd hold her all night if it helped Emma to sleep better.

But she surprised him once more when she spoke again, and this time, the humor was back in her tone as she asked, "So, you've been playing with Baby Leo? Did anyone happen to get that on film?"

"I'm pretty sure his mother did," Killian chuckled.

"Good. The world deserves to see that. You know – for science."

Killian's sharp bark of laughter was loud in the silence of the hospital, but beautiful music to Emma's ears.

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Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Special thanks to Luna, Alexa, Kate, Jillian and the Guest reviewers. Sorry I can't reply to you in person.