Rifiuto: Non Miriena
A/N: So, two things in regards to Elsa's labor-
1) I gave birth to twins a few years ago. I know just how painful it is to have a hard, difficult labor, and like Elsa, I didn't know I was carrying twins; one was hiding behind the other the entire pregnancy, and it was a complete shock, when, five minutes after my daughter was born, I turned to my husband and told him that I needed to push again. My daughters are identical, and were MO-DI, meaning they were Monochronic/Diamniotic, which is when there are two placentas that fused into one and two amniotic sacs; which, from what I can figure from the birth chapter, are what Elsa's twins are.
2) What actually causes Elsa's death in the previous chapter, is something called Placenta Adherns- and it's when the placenta, instead of being delivered after the birth, is still loosely attached to the uterine wall; it's the most common form of placenta retainment. If it's not treated quickly, it can kill.
3) And the reason I know that is because I suffered from it and nearly bled out when my girls were born, and the reason Zani knew enough about it to work it into this, is because she and my younger brother Evan were still dating when my twins were born; they'd been together... roughly six or seven years at that point and were with my husband and I at the hospital when I vaginally delivered my girls (one of them had already crowned, so a cesarean was out of the question); I'm just amazed she remembered enough of it to actually work it into this story. I blocked that part of the birth out and my husband doesn't like to talk about it.
Also, in this chapter we finally get to meet the elusive Fifth Spirit that we've heard so much about and that is pretty much the unspoken focal point of the story. She is based off of the Snow Queen from Andersen's story of the same name, with a touch of Elsa's original concept thrown in for good measure.
Written: 2019 - Licia
The bite of ice awoke her, and her blue eyes opened slowly.
"Good. It's about time you returned, about time you awoke. I've been waiting."
It took several minutes, but finally, her vision cleared, and she lifted her head. Her entire body ached, the area between her legs throbbed with deep unrecognized pain she didn't know she could possess, and the pain in her heart wouldn't lessen. There was a chill in her body that she didn't recognize as being her usual cool temperature. On stiff limbs, she pushed herself up. It took a couple moments, before she realized that she was curled up in the ballroom of Ahtohallan. How did she get back here? The last thing she remembered-
"Honestly, how long does it take a mortal woman to birth a damned child?"
Birth a child. That's right! She'd gone into early labor. The spirits- Gale, the earth giants, Nokk, Bruni- they'd protected her, kept the tribe from trying to interfere as she gave birth to her daughter.
No, daughters.
Twins.
Hans- that beautiful, loving, wonderful husband of hers- had unknowingly given her twins. She could barely believe it.
She sat up, but the pain left from her labor kept her from climbing to her feet. On instinct, her hands went to her belly, now empty of the lives that had grown within; it still protruded out in front of her, great and round. She sighed. The babies. She'd just given birth and- and then started to bleed out, because the placenta hadn't detached and come out. It had taken time, and finally it had, but it had been too late. She swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath, and winced. Her hand reached up, pressing lightly to an area just beneath her breast, and she looked down; she could just make out blood on the material.
Blood? What had- Hans. He had driven the knife into her heart, saying something about bringing her back, but-
"Well, it doesn't matter. You're here now, that's what's important. I can continue my work, now that I have you."
Slowly, her head lifted, pulled from her thoughts, her gaze searching for and finding the voice. Her breathing hitched. She had never seen this woman before, and yet, she was so familiar. It was as though she were looking in a mirror, watching her reflection agitatedly pace back and forth.
Short snow white strands, similar to Elsa's was pulled back in a messy tangle of short, spiky hair, so unlike Elsa's semi-tight twin braids- the only thing she'd had the energy to put her hair into that morning, and in the end, Hans had finished them for her, unaware her labor had continued from the day before. Her skin was as pale as Elsa's, her eyes the deepest blue- as deep as her own- and her body as slender as Elsa's had once been- before pregnancy had taken over, expanding her uterus, stretching the sensitive skin of her stomach, and loosening her hips. She looked to be about Elsa's age, maybe a year or two older, closer to Hans' age, and she wore a plain white dress and walked barefoot. But what caught Elsa's breath was the fact that she was missing the right side of her face, no, the right side of her body.
The woman looked up, scowling at her. "What's wrong? Haven't you ever seen half a soul before?"
Elsa forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat, before she shakily got to her feet. Despite not being pregnant anymore, it was difficult; she was exceedingly shaky and lightheaded and the throbbing pain made it harder to move. "You... you're..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Go on. I know you know exactly who I am. I know that you know the other half of me resides in you." A moment passed, as she seemed to be reigning in her anger. In the sudden silence, Elsa could hear the cries of the spirits trapped in the walls, and just beneath it, Iduna's lullaby. "I've been waiting... for centuries... for millennia... for you. I can't do my job without a body-"
"Well you don't have one. My body is back in the inlet, on the bank." Elsa cut in. She stopped, a sob suddenly escaping her at the realization. The Fifth Spirit glared at her; an eerie sight, from someone who only possessed half a soul.
"You don't understand, do you?" Fifth Spirit lifted her chin. "You are the physical body. You are the only human who can handle the cold. I would have had my body two years ago if your sister hadn't destroyed the dam, if she hadn't gained a conscience." Over Fifth Spirit's shoulder, Elsa could see the Princess in the ice, one of thousands of souls trapped within the river.
I was not going to sentence her to a fate worse than death.
"She was already sentenced to death." Fifth Spirit replied, turning her head towards the princess. "It was foretold when I was created, when I asked Mother to provide me with a body, so that I could continue to work. She promised me a body, and she has failed in keeping such a promise."
The venom that dripped from Fifth Spirit's voice sent chills down Elsa's spine, and she automatically reached down to cradle her belly, her maternal instincts kicking in, only to remember that she was no longer pregnant, that she would never get to hold her children again, that she had died in childbirth- Oh, Hans, my love, I'm so, so sorry.
"How sweet." She looked up at the bite in the spirit's voice. "You miss your husband." In the walls, Elsa could see other spirits appear, some peaking in before disappearing, others stopping to watch the interaction; she thought she saw a flash of a very familiar head of dark hair. And then she were before her, dressed in what she'd died in, the simple fan crown nestled in her mother's dark hair. She choked on a sob, covering her mouth with her hands, before hurrying as fast as she could towards her mother.
"Mama... where's Papa..."
Iduna gave her daughter a watery smile, gaze going over her daughter's body. "Oh, Gitta, darling, you look beautiful; it's the kind of beauty only a new mother could possess. You did good, darling, we're proud of you."
Elsa choked on a sob, reaching for her mother, but the ice prevented their touch. "I needed you both." She met Iduna's eyes. "I needed you there, Mama. I wanted you there. I was so scared. I didn't know exactly what would happen." It was the one thing Elsa had always been too embarrassed to study- learnings of sexual nature, not just in actual sex, but in the creation and bearing of children, not that there was much in print on such intimate experiences as was. And doctors often refused to explain to women the process their bodies would go through, believing them to already know and understand. But for a woman who had grown up as isolated and awkward as Elsa, explanations would have greatly helped; which was why she was so grateful she'd been with the tribe when she was pregnant, for they valued women and their experiences. "I want to go home. I want to back to my husband, to my babies."
"I know, darling." Iduna whispered softly, tearing up at the tears that slid down Elsa's cheeks, and being unable to wipe them away.
"- and the parasites you bore."
"Children aren't parasites." Elsa replied, turning as Fifth Spirit rolled her eye. She felt the half of Fifth Spirit within her shift, as though it too were rolling its eye at her sentimentality.
"All humans are parasites." Fifth Spirit replied. "You pollute and destroy and take advantage of Mother and don't care to give back to her, though she gives to you. You are to give and take, not just take and do nothing in return."
"Not the Northuldra. They only listen to nature, they respect nature-"
"But tribes such as them are being wiped out from people like you, countries like yours. Soon, other civilizations will wipe them out completely, and overpopulate Mother, and she will have no choice but to unleash a solution to put a stop to you to make you heel. You will near destroy her-"
You speak as though you know-
"Of course I know her! She's my mother!" Elsa watched as Fifth Spirit rounded angrily on the princess, who swallowed her words. "You humans are all the same. You take and destroy and create others like you and give no thought to what Mother goes through. You give no thought to what any of the spirits go through." She turned back to Elsa, moving close to reach out and caress her cheek, a look of pity and annoyance in her gaze. "And... you in particular... your decisions..." She shook her head. "There are times when I wonder if taking you would be the smart choice or the stupid one. Willing to take something even though your husband was suspicious, just because you thought it would stop pain, when in reality it would do the very thing that ended up happening to you anyway. Are all humans as stupid as you?"
"You don't know the pain a woman goes through in childbirth! A woman will do anything to make it stop, regardless of her husband's suspicions! At that time, she is the one in control, even if she has no control over her own body! She still makes the decisions on how to handle her own pain! So how dare you go after my daughter for the choices she made while in childbirth! You don't know what it's like! You've never had children!" Fifth Spirit turned to glance at the Arendellian queen. Elsa couldn't take her gaze off her mother.
"Nor do I care! I am thankful I never will. Now go find your husband and leave us alone." She turned back to Elsa, but Iduna did not leave, merely faded slightly. "You are missing the other half of me. And I'm missing the other half of you. I almost had all of you, body and soul, but it was ripped away two years ago." Elsa tried not to wince as she met Fifth Spirit's gaze.
Why are you so angry? What did either of us ever do to you?
Silently, Elsa thanked the princess for speaking up, for she couldn't find her voice. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with her. She promised me and promised me and when she brought the first one," She turned to the princess, who shrank away. "It proved to be nothing but weak." She turned back to Elsa. "But you, you're strong. You've fought, against everything that's crossed your path, good or bad. You fought to birth your child-"
"Children." Elsa corrected. "I have twins." Tears choked her voice as she realized that she was indeed a mother to two beautiful little girls she had barely got to see.
"I don't care if you birthed a hundred children all at once. You are strong. You've fought the river for the last year, fought me, fought your husband, no matter how weak you were, when he buried that knife blade in your chest. You're a fighter. You'll do fine here-"
Elsa stiffened. Knife? She vaguely remembered a sharp pain her chest that had nothing to do with childbirth. Hans' tear-filled green eyes, the taste of his kiss. Charlotte... please forgive me... I'll bring you back... I love you... She pulled away from Fifth Spirit, arms going around her belly as it sunk in that her husband had essentially hastened the last strings of her death. She couldn't breathe; her still heart constricted. ... Christian, my love, how could you?
They watched her absorb the information, before Fifth Spirit added, "Of course you weren't the only one he killed. After you, he drove the same knife into his own heart. Poor fool probably thought he could accomplish a Soul Threading, but those require sacrifices." Elsa turned, looking up at her. "The person who initiates it, has to not only thread their soul to their mate's, but give up a sliver of it to the river, as payment. Did your sweet husband know that?" Venom had been replaced with pity; Elsa couldn't decide which she detested more.
"You're lying." Her voice cracked, filled with pain, betrayal, heartbreak. "I want to go home." Fifth Spirit raised her arm in a shrug.
"You are home."
But the Snow Queen shook her head. "No. I want to go home! I want to go back to Arendelle, to my castle and my kingdom! To my children, to my husband!" She could feel anger begin to build up inside her; anger at the situation, at the curse, at her ancestors, at herself, at her husband. Anger at leaving their newborn daughters orphans, anger at the Northuldra for betraying her like this, anger at her mother even, for fleeing instead of staying when the mist fell. She could feel her magic continue to grow; she hadn't even been aware she still had her magic, for she'd felt it begin to fade as her life had slipped away as she lay dying in Hans' arms. It continued to build, growing on the anger that filled her, that began to quickly blacken her once pure still heart.
Fifth Spirit leaned close, her voice grating on Elsa's already frayed nerves. "I don't think you understand, Elisabeth." Her tongue caressed the syllables of her name slowly. "You're dead. This is your home now. You will never see your children again."
There is no greater pain than that of a mother separated from her child; it was a pain Iduna knew well, for she had suffered the same when she and Agnarr had arrived in Ahtohallan, but to now see her beloved daughter suffering the same... that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Slowly, Elsa raised her head; a snarl covered her beautiful features, the veins that lay just beneath the surface of her skin began to darken and appear upon her porcelain skin, her once beautiful blue eyes darkening to black. The anger and pain, the heartbreak and betrayal that filled her heart, that had added themselves to the stress of the last nearly nine months, overflowed, washing over her in a tidal wave of fury. After everything that had happened- the curse, her marriage, the pregnancy, the birth, her death- it was just too much.
"No!"
Her scream rang out through Ahtohallan, echoing off the walls and into the sea below, waking the rest spirits of the dead that remained trapped in the ancient glacier. It was the scream of a mother forever lost to her children, of a woman betrayed by her husband, pushed to her limit and seeing no escape for even death had her trapped.
Her magic released, exploding from her hands in sharp spikes all across the ballroom. Fifth Spirit stumbled back, not that it could hurt her anyway, but she was still better safe than sorry; a small thrill of glee shot through her. Yes, Elsa was so much more powerful than the princess before her; she would be able to handle the cold, the work, the meager existence that resembled a life at Ahtohallan.
But the blackness of her eyes worried Fifth Spirit.
Elsa was good; had always been good, even in her most darkest of hours, but, Fifth Spirit had to wonder, had the stress, the demands of her pregnancy and the strains of not just childbirth, but dying in childbirth pushed the Snow Queen too far? A spirit with black eyes has suffered greatly in their last moments of life on earth; they have lost the part of them that kept them alive, that kept them human and good, and has turned them into a Fetch, a spirit of great pain and suffering, a harbinger of impending death.
Taking a deep breath, Fifth Spirit hurried towards the other woman, but Elsa lashed out; a row of icicle, jagged and giant, appeared before her, keeping her away. The princess watched from the ice, fear in her gaze as Elsa closed herself off, not just in feeling but in ice. A Fetch, particularly one such as what Elsa was becoming, only targeted men, for it was men who had caused their pain, and therefore, it would be men who would suffer. Fifth Spirit had no need nor use for Fetches; they were the spirits who went out and caused death, the mythical voices on the sea who lured sailors to their demise, often attributed to mermaids. They were the women who lured men to their demise on darkened roads, who stole the breath from them as they slept.
Can we do nothing to help her?
"She is not at our mercy anymore, nor the river's. This is her own doing; this is her pain and heartbreak that has manifested. It has blackened her heart, which is why her eyes have gone black. She is becoming a Fetch, a harbinger of death, one who brings great pain and suffering to men in their last moments. Only an intentional act of true love can save her now, and it must be done on the one who caused her pain in the first place."
What her husband did? She needs to do the same?
Fifth Spirit shook her head.
"He hastened her death, thinking he could create a Soul Threading, but he did not understand that he needs to give a piece of his soul to complete it, and I doubt he will be so willing to hand it over, even if it means bringing her back. If she is to return, she must give a piece of her soul and a piece of his-"
"Elsa?"