Rifiuto: Non Miriena
A/N: Written: 2019 - Licia
Elsa knew what it was like to take on the responsibilities and titles of someone else; to stand before a packed crowd and swear to do all she could to protect and care for her people, to bear the burdens they laid at her feet, to make sure they prospered. She knew the nerves that slowly trickled in over the hours until the day finally arrived, until it was her, alone and yet surrounded. The fear, the outright terror, the worry that she wouldn't live up to the legacy left behind by the previous ruler.
Yes, Elsa knew exactly what Honeymaren was going through.
And so she wasn't surprised to find the Northuldra woman pacing nervously back and forth in the hut that had once belonged to her mother, dressed in her finery for the ceremony, fear and panic written all over her face. Hans glanced at her, but Elsa shook her head. Ryder, Kristoff and Matthias were looking after the girls for them while they tried to calm the other woman down; they only had half an hour until the ceremony.
"This is easy, just... just be the good girl you always have to be. It's easy... and if you have to, put on a show. But... but what if you mess up? What if you prove that you won't be good at being chief? Make one wrong move, and everyone will know."
"You know, I learned long ago, that all that 'Conceal, don't feel' business is, well, for lack of a better word... complete and utter shit, pardon my language."
Honeymaren whipped around from her pacing to see her cousin and her husband standing in the doorway. Hans leaned against the side of the hut, and Elsa stood before him, arms crossed beneath her breasts- because crossing them over her tender, milk-filled breasts was just a bad idea in general- one twin braid tossed over her shoulder, the other down her back. Hans rested his hands on her waist, holding her close, being careful of her lower body because despite her new ability to heal, she was still massively tender. She silently studied her cousin. She was beautiful in her Northuldra clothing, her mother's shawl draped over her shoulders, but the evidence of new motherhood was still there, no matter how she tried to hide it.
She was exhausted, that much was evident, but then again, given what she'd gone through nearly a week earlier- especially it being such a surprise- that was to be expected. Her long white hair had lost the shine it'd acquired during her pregnancy, though it could have partially been because Elsa hadn't had a chance to bathe completely either; being the parent of two newborns meant the new parents had to do the best they could, and long, relaxing baths weren't on the list of things they could do at the moment. They bathed as best they could when they had the time, but there was no relaxation with it.
It was still long and thick- to the point where Honeymaren wondered if Hans often worried how his wife handled having so much hair; and was no longer to her waist as it had been before her pregnancy. The hormones that had coursed through her body during her pregnancy- doubled greatly because she carried twins within her, unlike one as they had thought- had caused her hair to grow faster and thicker, and despite losing some, even almost a week after the birth, it was still to the middle of her lower calf, and to deal with the weight and shorten it slightly, Elsa had braided it not in her customary single braid, but in the two twins down either side of her head; though she'd gotten exhausted at one point and asked Hans to finish them for her, which he'd obviously willingly done. Now, one hung over her shoulder and the other down her back. Not quite the ridiculously rumored length of the rumored Sun kingdom's missing princess, but it's getting there.
Hans had told Honeymaren about the supposed Sun Kingdom's missing princess, supposedly stolen away in the night some twenty-odd years ago, who reportedly had exceedingly long, golden hair. Corona, her kingdom, and the neighboring and outlying duchies and principalities had searched and searched, turning up nothing. Though people insisted she was real, no proof was found to show she ever existed. Honeymaren had winced, she could barely manage the shoulder-length hair she had, she couldn't understand having ridiculously long hair; Elsa's hair, while beautiful, even made her head hurt- and it was on her cousin's head, not hers.
Now, she glanced between the pair. "You've done this before, haven't you?"
Hans wrinkled his nose. "In case you missed it, I'm the thirteenth out of twelve. I was never going to see a throne unless it was by way of marriage into another kingdom. My wife has, however. And that day was fairly..."
"The day was fine, the coronation itself was fine, it was the night after that all the problems hit." Elsa cut him off.
"Problems?" The couple sighed, meeting a glance.
"We... discussed it when we got serious and now we... try to avoid it." Hans replied, reaching up to sheepishly scratch the back of his neck. "Especially considering we were more... enemies than lovers back then."
Honeymaren raised an eyebrow.
"Lovers? We didn't know each other. If you had come to me all those years ago on the day of my coronation and told me that I would not only marry you, but carry and birth your babies, I'd have-"
"Laughed at me?" He replied, and she snorted, pulling away.
"Gods, no. I'd have slapped you and then demanded you return to the Isles immediately. Probably banned you from ever setting foot in Arendelle while I was at it."
"Yeah, right... you wouldn't have... would you?"
She rolled her eyes, ignoring her husband as she made her way to her cousin, taking her hands. "Long story short, the troll forced me to reveal my magic, and I, in a panic, fled. To the North Mountain, leaving an eternal winter in my wake." Honeymaren winced, shutting her eyes quickly. "I didn't realize that, though, and the troll came up the mountain to get me and bring me back. I refused to go, and when she told me that Arendelle was in the midst of an eternal winter-"
"You... reacted." Honeymaren concluded. Elsa nodded.
"Struck her heart. The ice harvester she was with took her back down to the castle, and my..." She stopped, rolling her eyes. "And the man who would become my husband," She glanced back at Hans, who watched her, sheepishly. "came up to get me. A visiting duke sent his henchmen up to kill me, and I was defending myself. The chandelier of my ice palace crashed, and knocked me unconscious, I think. All I remember next is waking up in the dungeons, my hands bound in these... elaborately crafted shackles my parents had had made for me before they died. They were meant to hold my hands so I couldn't hurt anyone, in case things got out of control. I was asked to bring back summer, and told them I couldn't. Somehow, I managed to bast my way out of the dungeons and make it halfway across the fjord, before he caught up to me." She nodded her head back at her husband.
"What happened then?"
Elsa's lips thinned into a line and she glanced back at Hans. "You want to take over?"
"Not particularly, Elsa Dahl." His wife merely raised an eyebrow; he sighed, joining them. "She told me to take care of her sister. I told her that her sister was dead; I'd... locked her in the study to die. I could only assume that was the case. And when Elsa was on the ground, mourning the supposed loss of the troll, I... drew my sword."
"You were going to behead her." Honeymaren replied, horror dancing across her face.
"And now you know why I reacted so badly when I first realized who he was." Elsa replied, pulling away as Hans reached out for her. She shook him off and he sighed. "Elsa, I said I was sorry! How long are you going to hold that over me?"
"Until one of us dies." She replied, going to one of the baskets nearby. She rummaged around for something for several minutes.
"I didn't, obviously." Honeymaren glanced at her cousin. "The troll had left the study somehow and made it across the fjord. She realized what was happening and jumped in between us, freezing solid. My sword shattered, and I ended up knocked unconscious."
"I looked up," Elsa was still rummaging through whatever was in the baskets, looking for something. "To find the troll frozen, and I started balling. Turns out, her act of sacrifice was what thawed her heart."
"Wait... love?" When Honeymaren looked up, Elsa had returned, with a shawl similar to the one she wore, and draped it over her cousin's shoulders. "Love was the answer."
"Mhmm. Love is always the answer... almost always." Elsa amended, fixing the blue shawl. "There. Now you're ready. Shall we?" Honeymaren glanced at the couple before nodding and taking the hand her cousin offered.
When they stepped outside, torches were lit, leading to the four runes at the entrance to the forest. With a quick squeeze of her shoulder, Hans and Elsa slipped off to relieve Kristoff and the others of the twins; left alone, Honeymaren pulled the ends of the shawl tighter, imagining her mother's arms around her. By the time they joined her again, she felt calmer.
It was the same walk they had all taken the night Hans and Elsa married, but Honeymaren barely registered it. When she looked up next, it was to find herself standing where her cousin had stood during her marriage ceremony, only thing time, she faced the elders. Ryder, Elsa and Hans, each holding one of the twins, stood on either side of her and back a ways; it was custom for the new chief to have her family not far away, as Elsa's sister had been when she'd been crowned. It briefly flashed across Honeymaren's thoughts that her mother had accepted the chiefdom alone, for her sister had disappeared and her father had passed...
I'm sorry, Mother. I'm sorry you had to face this all alone.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when Gry stepped forward. The oldest on the council, Gry remembered the day the chief had been murdered, when Yelena's father had taken the chiefdom, and his passing two years later, and then Yelena's... to be here to see this new dawn... the older woman smiled softly at Honeymaren. Absentmindedly, she tugged on the ends of her mother's shawl as the recitation started, their familiar language wrapping around her like the warmest of blankets on a cold winter's night. She heard the rest of the tribe recite the the blessing back, before she felt the gentle splash of water atop her head, smelled the strong scent of sulfur, and the gentle pat of earth upon her forehead.
It was Northuldra custom for the new chief to be anointed with a diluted mixture made up of the four elements, signifying her promise to respect nature and the elements, and to listen to them when need be. When Yelena had become chief, she had made the same promise, even though the spirits had abandoned them, trapping them within the forest. Now though, the spirits worked in tandem with the tribe, and, what made Honeymaren's promise even more important, was that Fifth Spirit had returned.
The mixture was placed upon her forehead, and then she looked up, as Elsa laid the baby she cradled in Ryder's arms and then made her way to her cousin. With a soft smile, she reached out, barely touching her cousin's forehead; a trail of frost coated the mixture, holding it in place. Elsa said not a word, simply did her task and stepped back, folding her hands before her. Honeymaren knew what it meant; she had the blessing of Fifth Spirit to become chief, something her mother and grandfather hadn't had, which had made their turns at chief harder, for Fifth Spirit had not been there to guide them.
But Elsa is only the physical manifestation... regardless, she is still Fifth Spirit, physical or no, Fifth Spirit shares her body.
When she opened her eyes, Elsa had returned to Hans' side, taking her daughter from Ryder, and cradling the baby close. She met her cousin's eye, and Elsa smiled softly; so concentrated on Elsa, Honeymaren nearly missed her cue, and hastily replied. The rest of the tribe echoed after her, and then, the headdress was settled upon her head and one last prayer said, signifying the end of the ceremony. She glanced at her cousin, feeling the weight of the headdress.
Was this how Elsa had felt, when the crown of Arendelle had been placed upon her head? What was that saying?
Heavy is the head that wears the crown...
Once finished, the tribe returned to camp to celebrate, as was custom. Upon returning, food and drink were passed out, music and dancing began. Elsa and Hans slipped off to their hut so Elsa could feed the girls and put them down, and Honeymaren, wishing she could join them, glanced wistfully towards their hut as she stood speaking with the elders. Kristoff and Matthias, who were returning to Arendelle in two days' time, stopped her, wishing her congratulations, before Kristoff and Ryder went off somewhere to discuss reindeer, and Matthias fell into conversation with a couple of the Gry. Honeymaren, taking this as her chance, slipped off towards her cousin's hut, trying to be quiet, though the beads on the headdress didn't help any. She stopped outside the flap, voices catching her attention.
"She'll be a wonderful chief; honestly, I don't know what she's so worried about."
"Hans, she's scared. She's afraid she won't live up to Yelena's legacy-"
"She'll create her own legacy."
"You've never ruled a country, or taken care of a tribe, sweetheart, you don't understand the immense amount of pressure that's just been placed on Honey's shoulders. It's incredibly scary to be faced with that much pressure, that much... expectancy... being handed a tribe or a country to rule over. She's responsible for the tribe's well-being, to make sure they survive and... and thrive and.. And to be following in a parent's legacy... that adds even more pressure. I know, I've been there. The moment my parents' ship went down in the Dark Sea, I became queen. I didn't officially take the throne until twenty-one, but I was queen, even if in name only until my coronation. And I was terrified, so I know exactly how Honey's feeling at the moment."
"She will do wonderfully, I have no doubts. She had the Ryder and you to help her, and the elders-"
"I wouldn't trust the elders as far as I could throw them, right now." Elsa grumbled. "Except for maybe Iben, but she's-"
"I know, love. But my point is, Honey's not doing this alone. She never has and she never will. We'll be right here with her, every step of the way."
Taking a deep breath, Honeymaren reached out, grip the flap before lifting it and ducking inside.