Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Written: 2019 - Licia

Cooing pulled Elsa from her study, and she looked up in time to see her husband gently shake the rattle in front of their daughter, who lay against the fronts of his legs. "Where's Iduna? There she is!" It was still a bit of a surprise for Elsa to see her husband playing peekaboo with their four-month-old twins, though Hans didn't seem to care; his only interest was spending time with his daughters. In fact, she was amazed at how invested in his children Hans had become.

He'd been invested during your pregnancy, which most father's aren't. He was there for the birth- but then again, considering what was going on, he wasn't going to leave your side for a moment, and despite everything that happened after, he was invested in the girls... he attempted a Soul Threading to bring you back, not realizing he needed to sacrifice his own soul until you told him! He did it to return you to your girls... and now... he's the most attentive, invested father I think I've ever met, and granted, I haven't meant many. But that has to be a good sign. He's invested in our family, as he should be... But she couldn't help wondering if part of it was to make up for the love his father had denied him. Not that Elsa was against her husband being active in their daughter's lives, but it was a thought worth pondering, and, maybe one day she would be brave enough to ask it aloud. She turned her gaze back to Dorothea, who was contentedly nursing at her breast.

At their examination two days before, Vanja had told them that both girls were growing fine, but that their second-born daughter could still use a couple extra feedings- not too many, just until she was contented, and if she wasn't interested, to not push her- just to help her along, since she was a little behind her sister, which wasn't uncommon with twin births. Elsa also seemed to be doing better; she had taken Vanja up on her offer multiple times in the last three months, either to vent or just to sit and sob- melancholy, Vanja had told her, something that was common for new mothers.

Hans had kept a closer eye on Elsa, often returning to her side during the day to check on her and the girls; often, after checking on the girls, he ended up in the blankets of their bed with Elsa curled into his embrace, sometimes silent, sometimes quiet sobs shaking her small body. At that point, Hans would simply hold her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back, telling her that everything would be all right and that she was a wonderful mother, that she was doing a fine job with their girls, that he was so proud of her and that she should be proud of herself for all that she'd done, especially in regards to the pregnancy and their daughters' births. It was those moments that Hans loved her the most; the vulnerability his wife showed in those private moments exposed her human side, that she was not just the Fifth Spirit, the physical manifestation allowed to walk upon land, but a woman with a heart. It was those private moments when Hans knew their threading was at its strongest, for the strong, deep vibrating sensations- what felt like tugging, at his heart and soul.

Often, in those moments, he would curl around his wife, press a kiss to her head, and simply hold her, giving her his strength. In those moments, 'I love you' often left his lips once, maybe twice, before he would hold her closer and hum her mother's lullaby to her. The simple tune often calmed Elsa's heart and relaxed her, and she would cling to him, silent, with his heart in her ear and his arms tight around her, a reminder of everything she'd gained, and everything she was grateful to call hers.

The baby reached for the rattle her father held, and after a moment, Hans let her have it, keeping a light grip on it as she wrapped a chubby little hand around it, and tried to put it in her mouth. He was careful to make sure she was all right, and didn't try to do anything more than just put it in her mouth. Elsa chuckled softly. "You cannot say you were surprised. That is the whole point of a rattle to a baby- it makes noise, and therefore, I have to put it in my mouth. Plus they keep them entertained."

She turned back to Thea, running her fingers through her daughter's hair. Both girls had started loosing the fine, soft newborn hair they'd been born with, in fact, the beautiful blonde that reminded Elsa of her father was near completely gone now, replaced with gorgeous, soft strands of copper; Elsa wasn't too upset to admit that she was kind of proud that her daughters had inherited their father's rich copper locks; she knew though, that they would only grow darker as they got older, becoming more and more like their father's color once they reached adulthood. She had been worried that her babies would inherit her white locks, which indicated her magic ran within their veins.

Because Mama and Papa knew about my powers by the time I was three months old; my girls are only a month past when my powers made their appearance, so we're lucky in that respect. I don't know if I would be able to handle one daughter with ice powers, let alone two. The fact that Hans had asked her one afternoon, a few weeks before the twins were born, what her hair color would have been had she been born without magic, proved to Elsa that while he wasn't worried like she was, he was giving it some serious thought. She'd thought a moment, before shrugging with an, "I either would have been blonde or brown, depending on who I took after. Probably would have been a brunette, since I was a called a mirror image of my mother."

The young parents had fallen into a slightly modified routine, with Thea's occasional extra feeding. But both girls were content and growing and healthy, which was the only thing their parents cared about. The twin girls were adored by the tribe, even managing to wear down the hearts and stern personalities of many of the elders and warriors. Honeymaren adored her cousin's children, offering to watch them every chance she got if Elsa and Hans needed a break, and to give herself a break from her duties as Chief, but the couple had quickly caught on to her. They had limited her to two unofficial visits and one full day with the girls a week, if only to give themselves a break from Honeymaren's neurotic worries; worries not exactly unfounded, but not suitable when cuddling with two adorable twin girls.

Elsa turned her gaze back to Dorothea; a month earlier, she'd been allowed to return to some of her duties as Fifth Spirit, though not allowed to go very far. So she helped with what she could, which wasn't much and didn't really warrant much thought, while still looking after her daughters- though she'd been pleasantly surprised to find Hans having taken up a good majority of her duties, minus a couple. And she was truly grateful for his help; he seemed to take a deep, keen interest in caring for their girls, something Elsa was pleased with. "Vanja told me if I'm up to it, I can go to Ahtohallan next month to speak with Fifth Spirit. I would have preferred to go now, but I'm following Vanja's orders."

Hans turned to his wife just as she rolled her eyes and gently unlatched Thea from her breast before draping the cloth over her shoulder and holding the baby against it. Her husband was silent for several minutes, before finally, "You really think she'll have the answers you're looking for?"

"I don't know, but she might know something that we don't. She has been around since the beginning of time."

Hans met her gaze, and shivered; and, to an extent, so have you, Elsa Dahl. He knew it was ridiculous, but he felt as though the ice crystals within his wife's sapphire eyes were studying him, searching for his weaknesses, finding reasons to distrust him. It was evident that Fifth Spirit did not entirely trust humans- she herself had barely admitted to trusting the Northuldra, but that was only because they respected the spirits- and clearly saw them as a threat to Great Mother. He loved his wife, he truly did, but the elemental part of her, the part of her that belonged to Fifth Spirit, set him on edge, and, if he were completely honest, scared him. He feared that that part of her would one day take complete control of his wife, force her back to the river, and keep her hostage, even though Elsa continuously assured him that no such thing would ever happen. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Elisabeth."

She met his gaze after laying Thea down in the Moses basket and starting it with a gentle push before settling back among the blankets as she watched her husband and oldest daughter. "Of course I'll be careful, it's not like I'll be storming the castle in Arendelle; I'll just be going to Ahtohallan-" She stopped, seeing something flash in his eyes as he glanced at her. "Hans, what's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong, love-"

"Now why don't I believe that for a moment?" She reached out, gently nudging her husband's hip with her toes. "Talk to me."

Her husband sighed, scooping their daughter up and brushing a soft kiss to the baby's cheek before he scooted closer to his wife and held the baby out. Elsa took her oldest, settling the baby against her chest as her husband continued to shake the rattle at her. The couple made a habit to spend as much equal quality time as they could with each of their daughters, and so far, it seemed to work out well with Thea's extra feedings. She brushed a kiss to Iduna's hair, breathing in her daughter's familiar baby scent. "Just because I'm cradling your daughter doesn't mean you can ignore the question, Johannes."

He sighed, settling beside her, Iduna's rattle still in his grasp. The baby reached for it, whimpering when Hans gently shook it at her and then held it away. "I just... you're going to think I've lost my mind."

"No. I won't. That's already happened." She grinned, and he made a face; Iduna squealed in delight at the face her father made, and her parents turned to her. A moment passed, before Hans mad the face again, and the four-month-old squealed and cooed in delight; thankfully, her sister was a sound sleeper once her tummy was full. With a soft chuckle, Hans leaned over, brushing a kiss to his oldest daughter's head.

"Very funny... I just... there are times when..." He sighed. "There are times when I feel like there's more than just... half of Fifth Spirit inside you." Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Like... how it was before the girls were born, when it was you and the princess and Fifth Spirit, all residing in your body. I don't know if it's how your eyes are now, but-" Her eyebrow rose higher. "I guess... I'm just afraid that... that the river is going to call you back and hold you hostage permanently."

She turned back to her daughter, running her fingers through her daughter's coppery curls. "You're right, you have lost your mind." He glared at her. "Hans, that's not going to happen. Fifth Spirit controls the river now. And I walk on land as her physical counterpart. I'm safe, I promise."

Though she said it, it still didn't stop the nagging doubt at the back of his mind.