Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: It feels good to get back to this story; though the length of this- especially with the gigantic chapter chopped down- may just drive me to drink. Written: 2019- Licia

The clash of wood against wood rang out through the clearing.

She put all her energy into getting her opponent away from her; they went stumbling back, and she saw this as her opportunity to strike. With a cry, she attacked, managing to gain the upper hand as she struck, catching her opponent in the side with the one end of her staff. They went down, and she took this as her opportunity to finish them. In one swift motion, she brought the staff back against their stomach as they tried to rise, before swiping one foot against their ankles and sending them down hard. With a screech, she straddled either side of their hips, raised her staff... and then promptly lowered it.

Honeymaren opened one eye. "You're not gonna finish me off?"

Elsa shook her head. "No, I think I'm good." She quickly moved to the side so her cousin could sit up, which she did, slowly. "You okay?"

The young Chief groaned; she reached down and quickly lifted her tunic; a bruise was beginning to form. Elsa winced. "Did you have to hit so hard?"

"Consider it payback," The Snow Queen replied, holding out a hand and helping the other woman to her feet. "For hitting me in the breast." She reached up, gently pressing against her left breast, wincing slightly. "You are aware that I'm still nursing, right?" Honeymaren glared at her. "Just cause my daughters are seven months old doesn't mean I stop nursing them." It had been two months since her visit to Ahtohallan, and they had slowly been building a plan to take back Arendelle. Elsa, ever anxious and itching to stop the troll, had wanted nothing more than to storm the castle the moment she returned to Ahtohallan, thankfully though, Hans and Honeymaren had been able to stop her.

"We need a plan, Els, an actual plan. Not some hotheaded, half-considered, barely thought out attempt that will backfire the moment you set foot in Arendelle. A plan, an actual, real-life, well thought out plan. It's not going to be an overnight fix, either. You want your kingdom back, right? Then we need to take time to consider all the options, look at all the evidence we have so far, and weigh the pros and cons before we go storming anything. We cannot afford to risk this; there is too much at stake. And that includes keeping your temper in check. I know how you get when you're anxious." She had grumbled, begrudgingly admitting that her husband had a point; riding into Arendelle with some half-developed escapade in place would do nothing but end badly, and she couldn't afford it. So they had turned to tactics- Honeymaren, who had been teaching Elsa combat for the last couple of years, took over her training again, deeming it safe for her to do so, with the birth of the girls now six months past. Elsa relished their early morning sessions; often after she'd finished her morning rounds.

On occasion, Hans would join them, but since he often practiced with Ryder in the afternoons- more to keep himself from losing the training that had been drilled into him from his years in the Navy- which meant the women often had the two hours or so to themselves. Kristoff and Matthias were keeping them all informed of what was going on in Arendelle, and the soldier had made Elsa's week when he'd informed her that all the Royal Guard still saw her as their queen. To be honest, it had surprised her more than anything.

No matter if the troll was their queen, no matter the years she sat on Elsa's throne, the Royal Guard, while acting as though they were loyal to her, had remained fiercely loyal to the Snow Queen. Many of them had watched her grow, even during her years of isolation, had seen Arendelle prosper exponentially during her short reign, and at first, it had surprised her, but after speaking with Kristoff, it made sense. She had, like her father before her, taken good care of her guards, making sure they were paid generously for protecting her and her sister, making sure their families received benefits from their work, making sure they were properly taken care of and had all they needed, as she had done for all her people. Loyalty feeds loyalty. She had been loyal to them, and so they were loyal to her in return. That type of loyalty didn't just vanish after a certain number of years away. Add in that they had been suffering at the hands of the troll...

"We are sworn to protect Arendelle at all costs. And that includes the rightful heir of the Arendellian crown, the rightful ruler." Matthias had been firm in his declaration, making it clear that she was and always would be the true ruler. And so they slowly worked on forming a plan; everything about it had to be carefully considered and the options weighed, especially since no one really knew the type of magic trolls possessed, nor how strong it actually was.

After catching their breath, both women returned to the camp; they'd been out in the clearing for the last two and a half hours, and had gotten sufficient practice in. As they reached the edge of the camp, Honeymaren glanced at her cousin, and chuckled. Elsa raised an eyebrow, before glancing down. A groan escaped her throat. "I thought I stopped leaking months ago!"

"I thought you expressed it before you left on your rounds-"

"I didn't even think about it this morning. The girls were both asleep and I figured I'd be back in time to nurse. I finished my duties early and nursed Thea because she was awake, but Iduna was still asleep. Now they're to the point where one's awake while the other sleeps and vice versa, so I've taken to nursing the one that's awake and then putting her back to bed and..." She waved it away, glancing down at her tunic. "I guess I know what I'll be doing." She looked up as Hans stepped out of the hut, both girls in his arms. "I'll see you later, Honey." The chief waved her away with a shake of her head and a laugh.

"There are my darlings." Elsa slung her staff over her shoulder, taking Iduna into her arms with a quick kiss from her husband before stepping into the hut. "Did they eat?" He nodded, stifling a yawn. Once her staff was back against the wall, Elsa settled among the blankets; though the girls were starting to eat solids, Elsa had still decided to nurse. It was partially for them and partially for her. She shrugged out of her tunic, and once both girls were nursing contentedly at her breasts, she turned her attention back to her husband. She chuckled softly. "Go get some coffee, darling. We're okay for now."

Once he was gone, Elsa turned back to her daughters; the girls both watched her with their father's once emerald eyes, since the Threading, her husband's gaze had taken on a more sapphire emerald color, an obvious mixture of hers and his in response to the threading of their souls. She smiled softly; though her girls looked like her, they had their father's eyes and hair, something she loved. The downiness of their hair had gone, and in its place were soft copper locks, which would get darker as they got older. A spark of purple zipped into the hut, and she soon felt the little salamander settle into her hair. "Hi, Bruni."

She looked up as Hans returned to the hut, setting a cup for her beside the bed. Once the girls were done, their bellies full, Hans settled them both back into the cribs; he had made a second one two months after the girls were born, though they had spent the first four and a half months of their lives sharing the same crib. Upon returning to their bed, he pulled her into his lap and kissed her gently as Bruni poked his head out of her hair; Hans chuckled. "So, how was training?" She snorted softly.

"It went... well." She offered, grabbing her cup and taking a sip.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning... Honey has a nice bruise on her stomach to match the one on my left breast." He winced in sympathy. "I'm finally getting back into it, which is good. I'm not as sluggish as I was a month ago, which is good. I never realized how much pregnancy takes out of you until now. The last..." She stopped, calculating quickly in her head. "... sixteen? Nine months... well, eight actually, cause I never made it to nine... so... fifteen? Months?"

"You sound unsure, Els."

She sighed, waving it away. "Whatever. The last several months have... near drained me of everything. My energy, my appetite, my blood, my sanity, my... will to live." He chuckled softly. "I never realized how exhausting it is to be a mother." She glanced over her shoulder towards their girls. "But then I look at them, or I hold them, or I nurse them and suddenly everything else I'm feeling falls away. Suddenly I'm in love all over again, and... and I realize how lucky I am, that you gave me those two beautiful girls." She rested her forehead to his, as he reached up to caress her cheek. "And then I realized that I don't think I ever thanked you, for giving them to me." She reached up, caressing his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He nudged his nose gently against hers before kissing her softly; she deepened the kiss, but only briefly.

"Any word from Kristoff or Matthias?"

He shook his head. "Other than what we got last week, no." He chuckled softly as she groaned in annoyance, burying her face in his shoulder. "Oh, Els, you know we can't rush this. We have to be perfectly set in our plan before we do anything, that way we're sure it's going to go off without a hitch. The best strategy we can have in this war is-"

"- is the element of surprise, I know, I know." She stood, picking up her cup and taking a sip as he also stood and followed her out of the hut; they didn't go far. Instead, they joined Honeymaren and several of the others of the tribe for breakfast. "But Christian, I'm not a warrior queen. My monarchy, my reign, was not built on war, it was built on peace and tranquility. I'm not the Warrior Queen, I'm the Good Queen, the White Queen," She stopped, brow furrowing in confusion. "You know, I never have understood why I was given that moniker; it makes no sense-"

"It makes perfect sense, love." She raised an eyebrow. "White commends purity, innocence, simplicity and hope and goodness. You are a good queen, Elisabeth."

"But I'm no longer queen, Johannes," She replied, meeting his gaze; he sipped his coffee, giving her time to gather her thoughts. "I gave up my throne and walked away from my people, in favor of a troll. That is not the mark of a good queen, that is the mark of a coward."

"No, it's not. You walked away because you thought that was what was best for your people. You had your kingdom's best interest at heart. A good ruler will always- always- have their kingdom's best interest at heart, regardless of whether they walk away or not. You are still a queen, Elsa. You will always be a queen."

"A queen." She snorted softly. "If I am a queen, husband, then I am a queen with no crown, no kingdom, no subjects." She met his gaze. "If I am truly a queen, then I am a queen without a country."

She finished the last of her coffee, set the cup down on the table, and returned to their hut to check on the girls.