Title: Frontlines
Author: captstarbuck
Rating: T
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimers: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. (I don't own any of the characters from Grey's Anatomy.
Summary: My take on Callie and Arizona in NYC at the time the pandemic hit
Editor/Beta: pensco_927
Author's Note: Please keep in mind that this story takes place in April of this year when New York was being crushed by COVID cases. There were thousands of cases reported daily, and the daily death toll averaged well over 500 a day. The treatments that we have today were not in place then. It was basically just trying to keep patients alive as best they could. Treatments were hit and miss and sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. Back then, ventilators were a common form of treatment. They are still used today as they can and do help for some patients.
Frontlines
Chapter 6 – Day After Day Part 2
Friday, April 17. 2020, 6:45 AM
Day 8
Callie quietly entered the hospital chapel. There were half a dozen other doctors and nurses already scattered amongst the pews. She assumed they were probably all praying for the same thing – for their families, for their patients, for the patients' families and for the strength to make it through another day working at the hospital.
She found an empty pew in the back and sat down. She leaned forward, placing her clasped hands on the back of the pew in front of her and rested her forehead against her hands. Callie was exhausted, overwhelmed and consumed with worry. She wasn't sleeping well and she had to force herself to eat as she didn't have much of an appetite. She worked her shifts, stopping by Arizona's room at least twice a day and then returned to her hotel room each night at Arizona's insistence. That was her new routine and she hated it. She hated everything about COVID. She was tired of seeing patients die and seeing patients barely surviving. She hated that families were banned from the hospital, leaving only the nurses and doctors to comfort the patients. She especially hated that she felt like she wasn't much of doctor right now. It didn't seem to matter what she did and she wondered if the care she did provide even made a difference.
Normally work would be some sort of a distraction for her, but working with COVID patients and knowing Arizona had it made it even harder to focus. There was still so much they didn't know about it. They had no clear treatments yet as the data seemed to change daily. Some people had a mild case, others seem to get better, only to crash and die hours later. Some patients went on a ventilator and some seemed to not need it. Of the ones were on ventilators, most never came off it until they passed away. All of this only made Callie worry even more about Arizona. Which type of patient would she be? One who got better or one that lingered on while ventilated only to die? Callie didn't know and neither did anyone else, and the not knowing was killing her bit by bit.
Adding to Callie's anguish was how worried Arizona's parents were. She tried to be positive when she spoke with them each night, but Barbara and Daniel Robbins were no fools, nor was Nicole Herman. The three adults tried to keep their apprehension to themselves around Sofia, but Callie could tell Sofia was upset. Arizona had been unable to talk the previous night as she was asleep, completely wiped out from the coughing that had started earlier in the day. Callie knew that Barbara and Daniel had their hands full with a distressed Sofia and there was nothing she could do about it, other than talk with Sofia as often as she could.
Callie had never felt so alone. She missed Arizona so much it almost hurt. She missed being with her, sharing how their days had gone, missed cuddling up at night. She'd even taken to sleeping with one of Arizona's t-shirts, unsure if it helped or made her miss the blonde more. She was pretty sure she'd cried herself to sleep every night since she'd returned to the hotel.
She took a moment and tried to pray, but she wasn't feeling it. She didn't know where to start. She was angry with God for giving the two of them one more burden to bear. Having conflicted feelings about her faith was just one more thing she didn't need weighing on her mind. It seemed that losing her faith was just one more thing COVID was going to claim.
She sighed heavily. She genuflected and made the sign of the cross, then she got up. She looked up at the clock and knew she needed to get to her ward and start her shift.
As Callie walked through the lobby she heard someone call her name. She stopped and noticed a masked woman approaching her. It took Callie a few moments before she recognized the woman as the Social Services liaison.
"Oh, hey, Shirley. I almost didn't recognize you with your mask. You're here early."
"Well, you know, the work never ends right now."
Callie nodded. The social worker noticed Callie's body language indicated someone who was down, almost defeated.
"Dr. Torres, forgive me for prying, but are you all right?" Shirley kindly asked.
"I'm fine," Callie immediately replied. "Thank you for asking. I'm just tired, and it's been hard at work this past month." She couldn't bring herself to talk about Arizona.
"Well, make sure you take care of yourself."
"I will, I will." Callie suddenly remembered that she'd wanted to speak with the social worker. "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you."
"What's up?" the older woman asked.
"I had a patient a few weeks ago. She passed away and her grandson was all alone."
"Do you have a name?" Shirley asked, taking out her iPad. "It's not uncommon right now."
"Um, let me think. Ricardo… Ricardo Rivera," Callie recalled.
The social service worker scrolled through the data. "Okay. He's a seven year old boy. He tested positive for COVID but was asymptomatic. He cleared quarantine two weeks ago."
"Do you have many kids like him?"
"I've got half dozen boys and girls as part of my caseload with similar situations. I've got them all in a group home right now. We're hoping that some of them will be reunited with a parent or guardian."
"What about Ricardo?"
"He's got no one. We've done an extensive search."
"Listen, I can't do much right now, but if those kids or their group home needs anything – and I mean anything – call me."
"Thank you, Callie. That's very generous of you."
"You've got my number?"
"I've got a hospital directory."
"Let me give you my cell number."
The two women exchanged numbers before parting.
Six Hours Later
Callie finally felt she could take a break and visit Arizona. She hadn't seen her yet and she wondered if Arizona was feeling better. She figured Penny would page her if Arizona had worsened, or at least she hoped she would.
Rounding the corner, she saw several people coming out of Arizona's room. Callie picked up her pace, almost running until she got there.
"Penny, what's wrong?" she asked, spotting her former girlfriend.
"Who are you?" another doctor interrupted.
Callie didn't recognize the older man. She assumed he was filling in for Arizona. She was so startled his words and tone of voice that she didn't know what to say at first. She couldn't lie and call Arizona her wife, and girlfriend wouldn't necessarily grant her any special privileges. She knew she should probably excuse the man's attitude. He was probably tired, like everyone else.
"You don't need to be here. You're not her doctor," he said abruptly.
Penny watched Callie's eyes widen with dismay, and then anger.
"I'm her medical proxy, you ass," she said, taking a somewhat threatening step toward the man.
Penny quickly stepped between them. "Just go, Dr. Morrissey. I've got this."
The man clucked his disapproval before walking away.
"Okay, now?" Penny asked after turning around to face Callie.
"Yes, thanks." The brunette took a deep breath to calm herself. "What's going on, Penny?"
"Callie, Arizona's getting worse. Her SAT is getting too low, and she's having trouble breathing. Dr. Ford ordered another scan of her lungs." Penny paused for a moment. "I think Dr. Ford wants to put her on a ventilator," she added.
"Does Arizona know?"
"I think so."
"I need to see her."
Callie pushed past Penny and entered the room. She was shocked to see how much Arizona had deteriorated in less than a day. She was sitting up in her bed, gasping for breath between coughing fits. Latoya, one of Arizona's favorite nurses, stood by the bed, rubbing Arizona's back.
"Oh, Arizona…" Callie whispered as she rushed over to the blonde.
"Callie…" Arizona wheezed, her eyes wide with fear
"Ssshhh. Don't try to talk, honey," Callie soothed, her arm around Arizona.
"I… I can't… breathe…"
"I know, I know. We're going to help you."
Penny came into the room, an orderly behind her pushing a wheelchair. She'd watched Arizona's condition rapidly worsen over the past few hours and she was truly concerned, but she tried to hide it. She didn't want to alarm Arizona or Callie any more than the already were. She reckoned they both knew how bad it was. They'd all seen enough cases.
"Dr. Robbins, we're going to take you for some scans now."
Arizona tried to speak but she started to cough again. She managed a quick nod that she understood.
Callie helped the others transfer Arizona to the wheelchair, along with a portable bottle of oxygen. It was then that Callie knew deep down that the blonde was critically ill. She hadn't shown any sign of embarrassment over anyone seeing her residual limb.
"I'll go with her, Dr. Torres," Latoya offered.
"I need to go with her," Callie said firmly.
"No, you stay here, Callie," Penny said. "You know there's not a lot of room in radiology right now."
"But…"
"Stay," Arizona managed to squeak out as another coughing fit overtook her.
She watched as the orderly and Latoya rushed Arizona down the hall toward the elevators. Penny briefly put a comforting hand on Callie's arm.
"We're doing everything we can for her, Callie," she reassured.
"I know, I know. Thank you."
"And I want to apologize for Dr. Morrissey."
"Don't apologize for him," Callie fired back. "Who the hell is he, anyway? I don't recognize him."
"He's one of the volunteers that came to help us out. He's from somewhere out west, Illinois or Indiana, I think. He's a good doctor, he's just… old school."
"Well, keep him away from Arizona. His bedside manner sucks."
"He's surprisingly good with patients, just not so good with the staff." Penny saw one of the nurses gesturing to her. "Are you going to be okay? I've got to take care of some other patients. They'll page me and Dr. Ford when the scans are ready."
"Yes, go, thanks. I'll wait here for her to return."
While Arizona was in radiology, Callie paced around the room. She debated whether or not to call Barbara and Daniel, then decided to put off the call until they knew for sure what the next steps were for Arizona. Every possible worst-case scenario passed through her mind. The absolute worst outcome would be Arizona dying, and Callie did not want to consider that. She did not want to ever face a life without Arizona ever again.
She jumped when the door swung open. Latoya held the door as the orderly wheeled Arizona back into the room.
The little trip to radiology seemed to exhaust the blonde even more. She had no energy to try to help them get her back into the bed. Callie waited as Latoya hooked up the monitors again. She was shocked to see how low Arizona's SAT had fallen. There was even a bluish tint to her lips, which Callie knew would most likely lead to Arizona being put on a vent.
She sat beside Arizona's bed once she was settled in and took her hand, protocols be damned. Even through her gloves, Callie could feel how cold Arizona's skin was and it was just one more symptom that Callie filed away. She reached up and gently brushed a stray lock of hair back from Arizona's face. The blonde never stirred. She had drifted off to sleep, or maybe she was unconscious. Callie couldn't be sure and she was careful not to disturb her.
The door opened again and Penny stood in the doorway. She motioned to Callie to come out to the hallway. Callie reluctantly let go of Arizona's hand and got up. Once outside the room, she saw Dr. Ford standing with Penny.
"What… what's the diagnosis?" Callie stammered as she feared the worst.
"Do you want to see the scans?" Dr. Ford asked.
"No," Callie answered quickly. "Just tell me."
After explaining what they'd found on Arizona's scans, the pulmonologist said "It's my opinion that Dr. Robbins needs to be put on a ventilator as soon as possible. She's not getting enough oxygen right now and I'm very concerned."
Even though Callie had been preparing herself to hear the news, it still stunned her. "H-h-how long will she need it?"
"You know we don't have any way of really being sure, Dr. Torres. However, I am hopeful that Dr. Robbins will be one of those patients that won't be on it very long."
"Can I see her before you put her on it?"
"Of course," he said gently. "Let me know if you have any more questions or need me for anything."
"I will. Thanks, Dr. Ford."
He squeezed her arm once to console her, then left to see his long list of patients.
"I'm going to get the ventilator and the supplies," Penny added. "I'll give you a few minutes, then you'll have to leave the room. You can't be in there, Callie."
"I know, I know."
Penny hesitated. She knew Callie was aware that she'd been working with Arizona for weeks, and it was just the luck of the draw that Penny was the attending assigned to Arizona. She just didn't know how comfortable Callie was with that. "Do you want me to find another doctor to do the procedure?" Penny asked.
"No, no, it's fine. I trust you, Penny. You're a good doctor."
Penny nodded once, pleased with Callie's confidence in her. Despite their relationship ending, Callie had always respected Penny as a doctor.
While Penny was off to get the supplies, Callie re-entered Arizona's room.
"I'll be right back," Latoya said, wanting to give the two women some privacy.
"Thank you," Callie said appreciatively as the tall, slender woman left the room.
She quietly approached the bed. The blonde appeared to still be asleep. Callie needed to see and talk to Arizona one more time, not knowing how long it would be before she could.
She leaned over the bed and tenderly placed her hand on Arizona's cheek.
"Arizona? Arizona, wake up. Let me see those pretty blue eyes of yours."
The blonde's eyelids fluttered for a moment, before slowing opening.
"Callie?"
"Arizona, we're going to give you something to make you breathe easier, okay? Dr. Ford wants to put you on a ventilator," she added.
"No… No vent, Callie…" Arizona's eyes filled with tears.
"We have to, honey. Just for a little while, until your lungs get better."
"No…"
"It'll be okay, Arizona. I'll be here. I won't leave you."
"Callie, if I don't"
Callie cut her off. "Don't even say it. You're going to get better."
"I need you to know how much I love you."
"I'd rather have you show me later when you're out of the hospital," Callie tried to joke.
"Callie…"
"I love you, too." Callie squeezed Arizona's hand once more when she spotted Penny and Latoya in the doorway. "I'll be back. I'm going to get out Penny's way, okay?"
Callie bolted from the room, running down the hall to the staircase. Taking them two at a time, she sprinted up to the floor where her office was. Once she was behind the closed door, she sank to the floor in tears. For a few minutes she silently wept in private. It reminded her all too much of all the many times she'd hidden in a storage closet to cry after the plane crash.
She took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together. Even with cheeks covered in tears, Callie knew not to touch her face. She went into the small bathroom that adjoined her office and scrubbed her hands with hand sanitizer before washing her hands again and then her face.
"I need more information," she said aloud. "I need to talk to someone who knows more than I do."
She pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through the names. She found the one person she thought might have more data on COVID. She pressed the call button and waited.
"Torres!"
"Cristina," Callie choked.
"What's wrong?"
"It's Arizona."
"Did you two break up again?" Cristina asked.
"No!"
"Good, because the last time I saw you two, you both looked disgustingly happy."
Cristina had been in New York for a conference the same time the Robbin-Herman Center for Women's Health had opened. She'd attended the opening after telling Callie it was only because of the free booze and food. Secretly, she was pleased to see them together again, and impressed with the Center. For the three women, it looked like leaving Seattle had been the best thing that could've happened to each of them.
"Arizona… she has COVID."
"Oh, shit, Cal, I'm so sorry. How is she?"
"They just put her on a ventilator."
"Damn."
"I was hoping you would have some suggestions on how best to treat her."
"Cal, why don't I set up a zoom call with you and Mer and Bailey. They've had some ideas and I've been getting lots of data from my contacts all over the world."
"That would be great."
"Do you have your laptop handy?"
"Yes," Callie said, pulling the dusty laptop closer to her.
"Okay. Give me some time to set it up. I'll email the meeting info."
"Thanks, Cristina."
She ended the call and booted up her laptop. She opened it to her email account and waited. She'd never been good at waiting, and now was no exception. Her anxiety was almost causing her to hyperventilate.
She looked at the clock and realized it was almost ten o'clock at night in Switzerland. At least the call won't be too early or late for Meredith and Bailey, she thought.
Callie wasn't sure how Cristina pulled it off, but fifteen minutes later, an email appeared with a link to the zoom call. She immediately logged in and was thankful to see Cristina, Bailey, Meredith, Richard and Teddy on the call. She almost burst into tears at the sight of her friends rallying to her call for help.
"Callie, I'm, we're all so sorry to hear about Arizona. How is she?" Richard asked.
"They just put her on a ventilator." Callie pulled a tissue from the box on her desk and dabbed at her eyes. "I was hoping you had some advice or ideas on treatment."
"Pronation," Bailey said. "Get her in a prone position."
"Absolutely, Cal," Cristina agreed. "We don't have all the data yet on why it helps, but there's been some success here in Europe with it."
"It's helped some of our patients here," Meredith said.
"Okay, I'll make sure they do that. Any other suggestions?"
"Retrovirals and steroids. That's what else I'm hearing."
"You'll have to apply for Emergency Use Authorization for remdesivir," Teddy explained. "I'd have her doctor do that immediately."
"What about hydroxy?"
"No!" All five of the other doctors shouted.
"But I thought, at least I've heard…"
"Forget it, Cal. Those studies are suspect. It won't help."
"Are you sure, Cristina?" Callie asked, desperate to find anything that would help Arizona.
"Trust me on this one, Callie."
"Why steroids?"
"They'll help with the inflammation."
"We're seeing some weird shit, Callie," Meredith commented.
"Make sure they carefully monitor kidneys and heart," Teddy advised. "From what I've read and seen, this can affect the whole body."
Callie sighed. They could all see how the stress of Arizona being sick was weighing on her.
"How are you holding up?" Richard asked.
"I'm hanging in there," Callie answered. "I'm fine."
"Bullshit," Meredith said.
"Yes, bullshit," echoed Bailey, shocking everyone by swearing. "You are not fine. We have eyes, Torres. We can all see how hard it's been on you."
"You really want to know how I'm doing?" Callie snapped., finally breaking. "I'll tell you. It's terrible here. They've got refrigerated trucks as morgues. I've lost track of how patients have died here at our hospital alone. I think one day last week we had over twenty deaths. Just one day!"
She took a deep breath. "And my best friend, the love of my life has it! She's on a freaking ventilator! She could die! Eighty percent of the patients on ventilators don't make it!"
The other doctors listened in silence to Callie's response, their faces full of concern and compassion for their friend. They had all seen the news, first from Italy, then Spain, and then New York. Those in Seattle had seen in first, but never on the scale that Callie and Arizona had been experiencing. The were horrified by what they'd seen, and fearful for the two women. And now that Arizona had COVID, it was hitting home with all of them.
"Is there anything we can do for you, Callie?" Bailey asked.
Callie shook her head, seemingly embarrassed by her outburst. "I need to get back to Arizona and see how she is. Then I've got to call her parents."
"Good luck, Torres."
"We'll be praying for you both," Bailey said.
Two Hours Later
Callie had fought, well, not fought, but had a rather heated discussion about Arizona's treatment plan with Dr. Ford and Dr. Martin, who was now the senior attending on Arizona's case. Dr. Desa-Clark had even been called into the meeting. They finally agreed that putting Arizona in a prone position would probably help. The Chief had even offered to contact the FDA for EUA for the remdesivir. She wouldn't promise that they'd be successful, but believed it was worth a shot.
Once Arizona was settled and stable, Callie once again returned to her office. She wasn't ready to leave the hospital; not tonight. She knew she had a few more calls to make and one she really dreaded making. She sat down at her desk and called Barbara and Daniel.
"Calle? How's Arizona? Can we speak with her?" Barbara asked.
"Um, Barbara, I need to speak with you and Daniel privately."
"Callie, what's happened? What's wrong?"
"Please, Barbara."
She heard Barbara call for her husband, then footsteps followed by a door closing.
"We've got it on speaker, Callie. Now tell us. What's the matter?"
"Arizona, she." Callie didn't know if she could continue.
"Just tell us," Daniel said softly.
"Arizona's gotten worse."
"How bad?"
"They had to put her on a ventilator this afternoon."
"Oh, no…" Barbara gasped.
"The doctors are hopeful that it won't be for too long. She just needs a little help breathing right now. I've been in touch with my friend Cristina and our former co-workers in Seattle and we're going to try a few things to make her better."
"Should we come up?" Barbara asked.
"No, stay out of New York for now, until it's under better control. Besides, even if you did come, you wouldn't be able to see her. Only staff is allowed in the hospitals."
"Are you taking care of yourself, Callie?"
"I'm trying. I'm staying at work tonight. I don't have to, and I'm not worried that anything will happen. I just feel better staying," she explained. "I promise I'll get some rest and go back to the hotel to sleep tomorrow."
"Is there anything we can do?"
"I'm not sure how to tell Sofia."
"We'll just tell her that her mommy's a little sicker."
"I don't want to put that burden on you."
"We'll take care of it," Daniel said firmly.
"Can you ask her to make some pictures for us, and maybe take some photos? I know Arizona will want to see them when she's better."
"Of course."
"And tell her I'll call tomorrow." Callie sniffled once. "I'm so sorry, Barbara and Daniel. I really wanted to call with better news."
"Don't you apologize, Callie Torres. This is not your fault."
"These things just happen," Barbara said, her voice calm.
"I know, I know, but,"
"No buts. You do what you can, and keep us informed," Daniel practically ordered.
"Yes, sir," Callie responded, nodding her head.
"Good."
"Get some rest, dear, and call us tomorrow,"
"I will, I will."
"We love you, Callie."
"Love you, too."
"Give our love to Arizona."
"Always."
Callie ended the call then set her phone down. She was so tired, and not just physically. She was emotionally and mentally exhausted. She hadn't ever felt this tired, even when she was an intern. The only time she could remember being this drained was when Mark and Arizona were both in the hospital after the plane crash. She'd managed to get through that, but this was different. She didn't have her 'village' of Seattle Grace friends around for support.
Seeing Arizona on a ventilator just gave Callie all kinds of flashbacks of Mark on one. Her biggest fear was that she would, as Arizona's medical proxy, would have to make the call to take her off it. At least with Mark, she'd had Derek beside her to make the decision. Now she was alone.
After ending a quick call to her father with a promise to call later, Callie once again scrolled through her contacts to make one last call for the day.
"Hello?" a perky voice answered.
"Hey, April, it's Callie."
"Callie! How are you? How are things in New York?" April sounded surprised to hear Callie's voice.
"April, I've got some bad news."
"What?"
"Arizona's in the hospital. She has COVID."
"Oh, no. How is she, Callie?"
"It's bad, April," Callie said frankly. "She got sick about a week ago, and today they had to put her on a ventilator. I thought you should know."
"Matthew and I will pray for her," April immediately replied. "I'll contact our prayer group and have them all pray for her."
Callie had never laughed at April's faith. Sure, she thought it was kind of astonishing that April had made it all the way through college and residency as a virgin, and she'd shared in some of the teasing, but she'd secretly respected April for having done it. The one thing Callie had never made fun of was April's faith. She understood it and admired it.
"Thank you, Kepner. I appreciate it. I'm a little short of faith right now," she confessed.
"It's understandable, Callie," April said knowingly. "You two have had more than your fair share of troubles. It wouldn't be hard to question it now."
"Thank you, Kepner," Callie repeated, grateful that April understood.
"Don't worry about it now. We've got enough faith to cover you until you find yours again."
"You're a good friend, April," Callie said with all sincerity. "We're lucky to have you in our lives."
"Thank you, Callie."
"I need to get back to Arizona," Callie said after a short silence. "I'll be sure to include you in any updates I have."
"Give Arizona our best."
"I will. Take care."
"You too."
As Callie ended the call and threw her phone on the desk, she let out a heavy sigh. All she could do was wait and leave it in God's hands. She hated it.