A/N: One of the reasons for the rating is coming up in this chapter. Dirty talk and more are ahead... so, that's your warning.

For the next two weeks, Inuyasha continued the same spiraling pattern. Staying confined to his apartment and only leaving the house except for absolutely necessary. The only phone calls he was answering outside of work were restricted to his mother's, who was checking in every few days to see how he was faring. Which meant the conversations started out with a "How are you", asking if he was eating properly, was he getting enough rest, and had he spoken to Kagome.

Every. Damn. Call.

Izayoi had finally managed to get him to text her back at least, because she deserved some kind of response. That first text had been nerve-wracking, seeing as how he hadn't spoken to her in months, so he wasn't sure how she would take it to get a text from him for once wanting to initiate a conversation.

Kagome hadn't hesitated. She had texted him back minutes later and said that she was happy to hear from him. Inuyasha's chest had felt a pang when he had gotten notified, but reading the words he felt both better and ashamed of himself. His mother had been right, as usual. Kagome didn't deserve this kind of treatment. He apologized for not being available. It didn't sit well that he was still lying to her by saying that he couldn't talk because he had messed his throat up, but she hadn't objected. Her text telling him that she understood, that she hoped he felt better, and just hearing from him by text was enough.

It wasn't enough, and he knew it. He knew she knew it. How could he even begin to broach the subject of what he was becoming with her when he could barely stand the voice of the youkai in his head?

A youkai that never shut up. Always running his mouth for some reason. Had to comment on everything he could see through Inuyasha's eyes or what he did during the day. Cooking? Why cook when you can eat it raw? Showering washed all the natural scent away. What was with going to bed all the damn time, anyway? That was something humans did, and he wasn't human entirely so he could skip a night or four.

Texting Kagome had been interesting when the youkai began to take notice. It hadn't been commented on at first, because it was sporadic, but the more they texted each night it became something of a habit for the youkai to sit back in the recesses of his mind and watch. It wasn't until one night when Inuyasha was toweling off from a shower that the youkai brought it up for the first time.

Why do you not speak to her verbally? You write to her each night.

"Because…I don't know how to explain this." Inuyasha slung the towel over the rack to dry and stood before the mirror, looking at his reflection. How the hell did he begin to explain to Kagome what happened? His hair had changed colors, his nails were longer and stronger, and his ears – "It's not really something I can say over the phone."

Then go to her. Or better yet, let her come here. She's said she wants to.

"And let her see me? So I can see the disappointment and horror in her eyes when she looks at me? All so she can tell me to my face that it's over?"

He could actually hear the youkai sighing. Call on her tonight. Don't write as you've been doing.

"Not gonna." Inuyasha grabbed for his boxers and stepped into them, jerking them up around his hips. He had a plan. He was going to get a drink, get his phone, and retire to bed and text with his girlfriend until she fell asleep. Just as he had been through the week.

He had fetched both and was settling against the headboard when he felt his thumb reach across the screen and search the contacts for Kagome's name, hitting the call button instead of message. "Fuck!" he hissed, hearing his heartbeat in his ears as the phone rang. What did he do? Did he hang up? If he hung up she'd know that he called anyway but –

"Hello?"

"K-Kagome…" Hearing her voice sound so soft on the other end had his heart picking up for an entirely different reason.

"Inuyasha," she let out a sigh of contentment. "How are you? Is your throat okay to talk? Or did you want to go back to texting?"

"No!" He blurted out suddenly. Where had that come from? Logic said that he should have hung up, but… he wanted to hear her voice, and now that she was talking, he didn't want her to stop. "No, I… I want to talk to you, Kagome. My voice is getting better. Been busy with work, so a lot of the usual. How…have you been?"

"I've been alright. I've missed you. A lot."

"I've missed you too," he said, meaning ever word. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you."

The words "Don't be" felt like a punch to his chest. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I know that not every time has been work. I figured it was probably me being too forward that was the reason."

Inuyasha sat up straighter. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Inu. I've been trying too hard… I shouldn't have pushed you into moving forward. All those times I held your hands against me when you started to pull away…"

Was she suggesting that he didn't want..? "You've got it wrong, Kagome! I should be the one apologizing for that! It's not you at all! It's…it's me." Fuck this was not how he wanted to have this conversation but he couldn't leave it here and let her think it was her doing. "I'm…nervous. I haven't really had a lot of experience, so…"

"Oh!" she sounded relieved on the other end. "I haven't either, or at least not with another person…" she added shyly.

"Yeah?" he swallowed. That should not have sent ideas through his head, but it was too late. Already he could feel the blood rushing south at the thought of his girlfriend pleasing herself in her bed late at night.

I like her voice. I'd really like to hear it scream our name.

Inuyasha couldn't deny that he wanted to hear that too as he reached down with his free hand to adjust the hardness in his boxers. Just his luck that he was popping a boner at the worst possible time and he couldn't take care of it.

Kagome's voice seemed to falter, as though she realized what she had just admitted to doing. "Well, I mean… a girl does have needs – not that I'm saying that I'm blaming you or anything! What I mean is –"

"I do it too."

Nice. The youkai in his mind was practically grinning.

Inuyasha wanted to disappear. Why had he said that? Of all the things he could have said to ease her mind, him outing himself was the best choice?

"You do?" As embarrassed as he was, at least her voice was calmer now. She didn't sound like she wanted to run for the hills, but what she asked next made him want to. "Do you… when you do… do you think about…"

Without hearing the rest of that question he knew. She wanted to know if he thought of her as he got off, and the truth was – hell fucking yes he did! Kagome was the only one he had ever had fantasies about, even when they were still just friends. Though if he were being really honest with himself the thoughts probably started back before they had even talked. Those pretty eyes he'd see across the hall, passing her by the lockers and he could smell the floral scent that was uniquely her…no, it wasn't hard to start conjuring up fantasies just from the vision alone. But when he had gotten to really know her is when they became so much more real.

And therein lay his issue. It was becoming real. There was something between them, and they both wanted more from it. Knowing that was both a balm to his heart but also the catalyst for his anxiety. Kagome meant the world to him, and he couldn't bear to hurt her. He might not have had much experience but when the time came he wanted to be able to please her, give her everything she wanted. Which, from the way that Kagome had acted recently, she knew what she wanted. Could he deliver? Could he be the one to make her satisfied, or would she see that he lacked confidence and leave him for a man that could?

On the other hand, there was this taboo urge simmering under the surface that clawed its way up whenever he let his imagination run wild. A darker version of him that took what he wanted and gave back even harder. Dominating, aggressive…and it's only desire was the woman fumbling over her words on the phone.

He couldn't tap into that side though. Couldn't let Kagome know those thoughts existed. It would scare her away. That would send her running far away from him. It would be too much to hope for that she would be interested in that.

"I think about you every time," he said at last, hearing a soft gasp. He wasn't sure why, but that reaction sounded like she was surprised. Did she think he thought of other women? Now he had to know. "Who do you think about?" he teased, thinking she'd list off some current celebrity hotshot.

Nothing prepared him for the words "I think about you too. Every time."

A groan escaped him before he could stop it. "Fuck Kagome, do you have any idea what that does to me?"

"I can only imagine," she giggled from her end. "Is it good things?"

"Very good things," his voice came out in a purr. "You've got me practically throbbing Ka-Go-Me. I can barely keep from poking out of the waistband of my boxers." If it wasn't for his exceptional hearing he might not have picked up the shuddered breath she let out, like she was holding the phone away. "What are we going to do about that?"

"W-we?" she squeaked.

Yes we, the youkai within him grinned. We want to know what you would do.

Inuyasha had said those very words without realizing that he was channeling the youkai's desires too. "I want to hear what you would do. You can tell me; it's just us."

A small whimper had passed through her lips, and Inuyasha took that to mean that she was wanting to indulge her curiosities too. "Are you only wearing boxers?"

"Dark red ones, and they're getting tighter by the second. What are you wearing?" Might as well talk her into it slowly, if he had any hope of getting off tonight. It hadn't been his intent tonight, but since she had presented him with that crumb of a thought he wanted to explore it. Get an idea of what she liked before he was in the same room as her, so that one day when he had the balls to go balls deep he wouldn't feel like a failure to her.

"Mm," she hummed, "I'm….actually just wearing my silk nightrobe. I was thinking about sleeping in the nude tonight."

The urge to grasp himself in his free hand and start jerking was getting harder to ignore. "You're awful, Kagome. Going and getting me hard like this when I can't even see you. I couldn't even stand up to make it to the door, you've got my cock so hard."

"Then take it out," she coaxed. "If you're that hard you need to take care of it."

"You did this to me woman. This is all on you."

It would be all on her if we could spill it all over her, the youkai reminded him. Inuyasha was doing his best to ignore the youkai whispering just what all could be done if they were together in his bed. That would have to wait. He had too many hurdles to jump through first.

"Then let me fix it," Kagome replied. "Be a good boy and lean back, and I'll make you feel good."

Inuyasha shoved his boxers down, freeing his cock to spring up against his abdomen. His free hand wrapped around the base and squeezed, trying to stave off the desire to pump himself until he fell limp against the bed. "If you had any idea of what I'm looking down at, you wouldn't call me a boy. What I've got in my hand Ka-Go-Me…this is all man."

"I bet it is," she giggled. "Is it very big?"

"It's impressive even when it's not throbbing at the thought of you. You'd need both hands to handle all this."

"Oh," she sighed. "In that case, then think of me reaching out and exploring every inch. Each little dip…tracing my fingers down the length…tracing the head… I bet you're swollen and tender, aren't you?"

"Very," he breathed, letting his hand move in slow strokes as she talked.

"Are you dripping?"

Inuyasha bit down on his lip as his hips bucked. "What do you think?" he asked, before holding the phone down so it could pick up the sounds of his hand spreading the precum along his shaft. He could hear her response and it pleased him that it was having an effect on her. "Your turn, baby doll. Tell me what I can do for you."

"M-me?"

"You think I was going to let you have all the fun? I wanna make you feel good too, so tell me. How do you want me to make you come?"

Where the hell had this confidence come from?! Was it because he couldn't see her face? Knowing that she was unable to see his? Was it because this was new territory for them? Inuyasha decided in that moment that he really didn't give a damn. Kagome was on the other end making some delicious sounds that were going straight to his cock and he wanted to hear her make more.

"I… um… I…"

"You can tell me. Whatever it is, I won't think differently of you." He meant it. If she was willing to get off through a phone call he wasn't going to judge. It was probably something miniscule anyway. That maybe she wanted him to whisper something sensual to her.

"I want you to…use my dildo on me while you stroke yourself."

Inuyasha choked. "D-dildo?" came out a bit higher than was normal. His sweet, innocent Kagome had a…a…

"Uh huh," she said shyly. "It's made of glass, and has these… uh…it's textured with bumps and veins along it…"

He still couldn't get past the word "dildo", so hearing the words "glass" and "textured" follow it made him rethink this whole thing. Part of him wanted to ask how big it was, how thick it was, but from past experience looking at porn on the internet it was better to not ask. He hadn't been kidding when he said he was impressive flaccid, but if he couldn't compete with her toy…

Tell her… the youkai must have been able to sense the change in his thoughts, because now it was feeding him what to say, and Inuyasha was in just the mood to accept that help. "Does it feel cool against your skin when you drag it across your body? Does it make your nipples hard when you're brushing it against your breasts? Do that and tell me baby doll."

The stifled gasp told him she had played along, just as his hand continued to stroke his shaft. He had to keep the pace slow because he wasn't about to spill just yet and ruin the fun. "It…it does," she swallowed.

"Good girl," he purred, letting himself sink into that fantasy where he was confident and dominant. The startled "oh" that he heard pleased him immensely. "You like that?"

"Like what?"

"When I call you a good girl?"

"I…I do…"

Inuyasha shuddered as his thumb rolled over the head of his cock, letting his head fall back against the stack of pillows. Fuck that felt good, and if it were Kagome's hands it'd be even better. "I need you where I'm at, Kagome. Take that dildo and rub it between your thighs. Get it good and coated in your slick."

Kagome let out a small moan, and he could almost envision her naked body laying back on her bed, teasing herself with what he felt like was a huge dildo. "I-Inu…"

"Yes baby doll? What can I do now?" he grunted when his hips shot up again. The slow strokes weren't staving off the need to buck into his hand like a jackhammer. He had to speed this up.

"I…I need…I need more, Inu…"

"Do you now?" His lips quirked up in a smirk. "Are you wet for me, Kagome? Are you ready for me to plunge that dildo deep in your pussy?"

She gasped out a "Yes, please!" and if he hadn't been edging himself this whole time he would have been in trouble.

"Then spread those legs and take it all," he growled, squeezing himself again. "I'm not about to come until you do."

On the other end of the phone he could hear the sighs as she pushed the toy inside her, and fuck if he didn't wish that he could see it. The sight she must have presented, laying back in her bed, silk robe spread open – much like her legs should have been, pushing that toy in herself over and over…fuck! He needed her!

"Listen to me, baby doll," he bit out, "I want you to fuck yourself with that dildo as fast as you can. I'm about to come all over myself waiting for you. I need you to think of my hand pounding away at my cock and pretend that it's pounding away at you instead. Hard, fast, and so good. Think of how I'm going to fill you to the brim with my seed."

Kagome's voice sounded distant as she let out a strangled gasp, and he vaguely realized that she had set the phone down next to her. Why had she… oh. Oh yes. She had to use both hands, and that thought had him groaning. Was she using both to pump that dildo in herself? Was she touching her breasts? Cupping herself? Feeling it slide in and out frantically and dreaming that it was his cock instead?

"Fuck…" he panted. His hand was moving erratically not and he had to set his phone down as well, reaching down to roll his sack in his palm. The only sounds in the room he could hear were his grunts and the squelching of his hand coating his cock in his own precum, and the faint gasps and moans of his name from Kagome's end.

"I-Inu…oh gods, I'm…so close..!"

"Me too..."

"Oh Inuyasha…yes!"

"That's my girl," he tried to focus. She was getting close. "You're doing so good, Kagome… don't hold back. Let me hear you…"

The sound of her yelling his name was beautiful. Inuyasha could just see it – head thrown back, body tense, as that dildo continued to draw out her orgasm. It was just the image he needed to let himself go as well, hips bucking into his hand as thick ropes of his seed splattered across his stomach and thighs. He didn't release his hold on his cock until he had pulled every last drop, letting his hand fall limply to his side.

"Kagome?" he asked, picking up the phone when he could catch his breath. "You still there?"

"I… am…" she breathed. "Oh, Inuyasha… that was…"

"Good?"

"So good."

As exhausted as he was, he still felt smug. "It was," he agreed. "Maybe we can do that again sometime." No sooner had the words left his lips did he realize what he had said. Would she want that?

"That would be nice," she replied. "Maybe…maybe sometime we could meet up…"

Inuyasha froze. Could he do that? That would mean that he have to tell her the truth… but after what they had just done, why couldn't he? It took a level of trust to do what they had done, and he really did owe her an explanation. "I…"

"Inuyasha, you don't have to –" Kagome started to speak, and it sounded like she was backtracking.

"I want that," he cut her off. "Believe me, Kagome. I want that more than anything, but…I might need time…"

"That's okay," she said, her voice coming out relieved. "I don't mind waiting. I just…needed to know that there was a chance, is all. I love you, Inuyasha."

That wasn't the first time she had said those words, but each time it felt like the first to him. "I love you too," he replied. "I've got stuff I have to work out, but never forget that Kagome."

It wasn't long after that Inuyasha was bidding Kagome goodnight, both of them having to clean themselves before they could sleep. He managed to make it to the bathroom on shaky legs to wipe himself clean of the evidence before returning with a damp rag to swipe at the couple spots on the sheet. Tomorrow was a laundry day anyway; he'd wash covers then.

As he threw himself back onto the bed and let the tiredness consume him, the youkai within his mind lingered, very much awake. This was progress, but it wasn't good enough for his tastes. This woman that his host was in love with, she was it for them. That much was obvious. Why he couldn't accept that and just go to her was beyond his understanding. They had skirted around this issue for some time, and the youkai knew why Inuyasha hesitated. Hearing Kagome cry out his name like a mantra should have proved to his host that there was nothing to fear. She would be accepting of the truth, she had to be.

It is just as well that I gave him a push tonight.