Chapter 8

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Months turned into years. The passage of time started to drag on and on with no end in sight. People were graduating university and starting their careers. Friends started to get married. Life was rapidly moving on, yet it seemed like Shiraishi's life was going nowhere. He had finished his degree and started working at his father's pharmacy with the intent of taking it over in due time. The work was monotonous and repetitive, which only tired him out further. He knew the work would be this way, but he was not expecting it to be this boring.

The long hours put a lot of strain on his social life, including his relationship with Sayumi. It had been almost three years since they started going out, but university complicated the advancement of their relationship in any meaningful way. When school work and exams weren't in the way, they barely had enough free time to do anything together. Her family living in another prefecture did not help with that, as she would often leave during the breaks to visit them. As much as he wanted to go along with her, he had his own matters to attend to in Osaka. His life was firmly rooted in the bustling metropolis. It was like he was a prisoner in the place he had always regarded as home.

When she was out of town, he found himself trying to figure out what to do with himself when he wasn't dispensing drugs or stocking the shelves with seasonal items. He was getting too old to do the things he used to do and much of his options for fun were limited, now that he was in a relationship. As he secluded himself in his room one warm summer evening, he noticed his old tennis bag with all of his equipment inside. It had been years since he last picked them up after he quit in high school to study for the entrance exams. He opened up the bag and pulled out one of his rackets and checked the tension on the strings. Despite it being years since he last used them, everything from the grip and the fram were still in good condition. He placed it back into his bag and zipped it up. He quickly changed into his old tennis kit before picking up the bag and walking out of his room and home.

His feet carried him to a local court that he would normally frequent in his younger days. Despite how late into the day it was, there were a number of people at the court, including someone he thought he would never run into again. Shiraishi opened the creaky gate to walk in, which caused some people to turn around and look at him to look before turning right back around as if he was never there.

Atobe Keigo called out to the tired man. "Shiraishi, you bastard! Finally decided to come out of retirement?"

"You're the last person I would expect to find in such an unrefined place, Atobe," Shiraishi commented as he walked towards the court the arrogant young CEO was occupying. "Yanagi-san and Niou-san as well? What a strange convenience to find all three of you here."

"It has been a while, Shiraishi-san," Yanagi greeted. "Niou invited me."

Shiraishi was confused by the emphasis on the word 'invite'. "Uh…"

"I had to kidnap him from his research lab, puri," Niou stated, giving Shiraishi the context for what was happening. "The idiot wouldn't leave his lab, even though he's been burnt out for months. I drugged him and now he's here!"

"Don't try to argue with my genius business partner either, Yanagi. You know Niou is right," Atobe added. "Working yourself insane for a cure is unbefitting of someone like you."

"Might I remind you that what you did was illegal, Niou?" Yanagi snapped back.

"You won't press charges against me, piyo. If you do," Niou slowly started to morph his appearances to resemble Oshitari Yuushi, "I will find every legal loophole to get my client out of it."

"Get your own lawyer, Niou. I pay you more than enough to get three for yourself," Atobe said in an annoyed tone.

"So, why here in the middle of Osaka? I thought you were rich and had fancy courts to play in, Atobe," Shiraishi asked.

"It's called 'humbling oneself'. Sometimes, it's better to play with people who aren't obsessed with money," Atobe answered.

"Or, it's better to play with people who can keep up with us," Niou mentioned. "We're not exactly normal tennis players, partner."

"Even after all these years, I still can't explain why we were able to do the things we used to do," Yanagi remarked. "I mean, seeing blind spots in a 'world of ice' sounds a bit too farfetched to be true. No offense, Atobe-san."

"Ahn? Awed by my prowess, Yanagi?"

"Don't think too hard about it, Yanagi," Niou laughed as he channeled his illusion to become Sanada. "Tarundoru, Shiraishi!"

"I don't think you need science to explain Niou's skills in deception," Shiraishi sighed. "Though, I do wonder how he can change his appearances in the blink of an eye."

"Ahn? Are we going to stand around and keep talking or did you come here to play, Shiraishi?" Atobe picked up a tennis ball from the ground. "Niou, partner with me. Yanagi, go with Shiraishi. We'll switch it up when we get bored."

The four men played a doubles match with each other, though the match lacked any of its flair from the old days when their bodies could take the abuse more easily. Out of the four of them, Shiraishi seemed to retain most of his skills and instinct for the game since he never had to rely on physics-defying techniques to win. Yanagi could still recall most of the data he had remembered from those days, though the data was rather useless now that they've all aged. The two of them easily won over Atobe and Niou, who both suffered the most from quitting all those years ago.

Atobe scoffed. "Shiraishi, partner with me. I want to see if the famous kings of the court are still the kings."

"The chances that Niou and I are still playing at the same level we were back in high school is zero percent," Niou, who had channeled the illusion of the aloof data master, stated.

"Actually, it's 27.8%, Niou," the real Yanagi corrected. "I need a break, regardless. I no longer have the same amount of stamina as before."

"I'll sit out as well, then," Shiraishi said as he tried to catch his breath.

"You guys are weak, piyo." Niou pointed his racket at Atobe. "Who will it be today? Tezuka? Echizen? Kite? Yourself?"

"You couldn't possibly beat me in tennis as myself, Niou," Atobe chided.

As the other two walked back onto the court to play a strange game of who was the better "Atobe", Yanagi and Shiraishi sat down on the bench that overlooked the area. For some reason, Yanagi wanted to talk on a personal level with Shiraishi.

"Is everything alright with you and Sayumi-san?"

Shiraishi choked on the water he was drinking and coughed violently. "Pardon?"

"She came to see me the other day in my lab. She seemed troubled by something. I figured it had something to do with you." Yanagi picked up a towel to wipe off the sweat from his forehead. "I don't mean to pry, but she is a very close acquaintance of mine."

"No, no. You don't need to apologize. I understand your concerns." He took a deep breath to gather his nerves. "We've hit a wall, I think. I'm not sure how to explain it."

Yanagi concentrated on his thoughts before speaking. "Sit down and have an honest conversation with her. I don't want to get involved any further than necessary."

Shiraishi knew Yanagi had a point. He could only nod, which was a more than satisfactory answer for the aloof data master.

"If you're done running away, I would suggest now, considering she should be back in the next hour." Yanagi stood up and headed back to the court. "Niou, play me next."

"Thanks, Yanagi-san." Shiraishi picked up his tennis bag, stood up and ran off, leaving Niou and Atobe confused as to where he was going.

"Girl troubles," Niou guessed.

"Ahn? Shiraishi having issues with women? I can hardly believe it," Atobe scoffed.

Shiraishi had run off towards the station in order to intercept Sayumi's train back to Osaka. As he sat on the subway up, all he could think about was what he wanted to say to her. He wanted her to know how much he cared about her and what she meant to him. He was racking his brain with the words he wanted to use to express everything he was feeling, but was drawing so many blanks. As soon as his train had arrived, he bolted out of the doors and straight through the exit without tapping his card in the process.

In a picturesque scene, he ran up towards Sayumi the moment she got off the train and embraced her. It caught her by surprise and she was unsure of how to act.

Sayumi dropped her bags onto the ground. "Kurarin? Why are you here?"

"I came to see you, Sayumi-chan." He let go of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Is now a good time to talk?"

"I-I suppose so? We can go back to my place."

He bent down to pick her bags off of the ground. "Let's go, then."

The two took the subway back to the area where her apartment was located. The entire way back was a silent affair. After she unlocked the door and the two entered the place, Shiraishi sat down at the dining room table while Sayumi went into the kitchen to boil some water to brew tea.

"Were you playing tennis earlier?" she asked as she noticed his clothes and his tennis bag.

"Yeah. I met Atobe, Yanagi-san and Niou-san at a local court. Really strange coincidence," he confirmed.

"I see." She opened up two green tea bags and placed them into separate cups. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Ah, well…" He scratched his head to try and find the right words. "I don't know what to say."

"Then," she picked the kettle up and poured the hot water into the cups, "can I say something?"

"S-sure!"

She carried the two cups over and placed one in front of him before sitting down. Her eyes were red, which Shiraishi suspected was from crying.

He had a look of concern plastered on his face. "Sayumi?"

"I want to break up."

Shiraishi felt his heart drop from his chest towards his feet. He started to lose sensation everywhere in his body. "Why?"

"I got accepted into graduate school for math. In Tokyo. I accepted the offer."

"And you don't want to do long distance?" Shiraishi felt his blood start to boil. "Tell me what the real reason is. I don't buy this excuse."

"What other reason is there? I don't want to do long distance with you. It's not fair to you or me."

"Stop lying to me! Something is bothering you, Sayumi. At least tell me why as common courtesy."

Sayumi slammed her hands on the table and stood up. "I feel like I'm dating Seiichi all over again!" she yelled. "All you do is get busy with work and ignore me. This whole thing isn't going anywhere because we're too busy to even talk to each other. Kurarin, I can't do this anymore. I can't go through another relationship that ends in the same way that my relationship with Seiichi ended." She sunk into her chair and began sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm sorry…"

Shiraishi felt his anger turn into frustration. He choked back the tears that wanted to come out. "I've turned into Sei-chan?" He sat there, shaking his head in disbelief. "You don't even realize what you're doing is the exact same shit he pulled on me all those years ago. If you want to project his image onto me, at least look at yourself in the mirror first."

She slapped him across the face with her hand. "Is that what I am? A replacement for Seiichi? I'm not good enough, so you have to pretend that I'm some man you never even had a relationship with? The same man who was also my ex?"

"Is that what you think I'm doing? I'm trying to replace Sei-chan with you? Are you also not doing the same shit to me?"

The rage within Sayumi caused her to tackle Shiraishi down onto the floor. She placed her hands around his neck, ready to choke him. "Shut up!"

"Make me!" he shouted back at her.

She couldn't bring herself to tighten her grip around his neck. In the heat of the moment, she ended up kissing him instead. The attempt to smother him with her lips quickly spiralled into an act of lust, with the two of them tearing off each other's clothes in the process. As things heated up, neither of them could stop themselves from crying. They both knew the relationship was over, and yet there they were: naked on the floor, doing something that they would feel remorse for later.

The next morning, Sayumi woke up in her bed, fully dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Her body felt sore all over and there was a dull, pulsing headache that was mildly annoying her. As she sat up in her bed, she noticed a folded piece of paper that was perched on top of her blankets. She picked it up and unraveled it, revealing a letter within.

'I'm going to forget what happened last night. I wish you the best. I'm sorry I hurt you. Take care. -Shiraishi Kuranosuke'

The sudden realization that what happened the night before was not a dream started to sink in. She had actually broken up with Shiraishi and had regrettable hate sex all in quick succession. All she wanted to do was cry, but the dehydration and ordeal last night made it impossible to shed even a single tear.

"What the hell have I done…"

On the other side, Shiraishi had locked himself in his room after he had returned home that night. The memories from the night were burned permanently in his brain, no matter how hard he tried to forget. He sat down on the floor and leaned against his door, holding an extended boxcutter blade to his left forearm. There were several deep cuts already bleeding down his arm, making him lightheaded. He wanted to continue slashing at his skin until there was nothing left but red, but his grip on the blade had loosened and it fell to the floor. He clutched his head as he realized the horror of what he was doing. All of the progress he had made to better himself were rapidly coming undone before his eyes. He wanted to cry, but nothing would come out.

"God, I love you, Sayumi…" He curled up into a ball on the ground.

Months had passed since those events occured. Sayumi had left for Tokyo without another word to her ex, hoping that a new place would get her mind off of what happened. She knew she was running away from what happened, but she was scared of what Shiraishi was going to tell her that night. In her thoughts, she believed that he was going to break up with her that night when he met her out of the blue. She would have never expected that he was going to double down on his commitment and devotion to her. She would never find out that this was the case, especially now when they no longer spoke to each other.

Even though she was in graduate school, she lacked any motivation to study or conduct research. During one of her breaks in between classes, she decided to visit Yanagi at his lab to see what he was up to and to probe him for advice. As she let herself into his research lab, Yanagi was reminiscing about old middle and high school days with Sanada.

"Sanada-senpai! What a surprise to find you not working for once," Sayumi greeted.

"Hokama-san, hello," Sanada replied. "I am working, though not at an official capacity."

"Bored of finite automata already? The Hayashi Lab is always looking for mathematicians if you would like to switch," Yanagi offered.

"Bioinformatics is boring, Renji-senpai. Stop trying to convince me to switch."

Yanagi chuckled as he continued to pipette his samples into a 96-well plate. "Anyways, what were we discussing, Genichirou?"

"Ah, yes." Sanada reorganized his thoughts before continuing. "As I was saying, it seems like Shiraishi disappeared from Osaka the other night. The precinct down there has reasons to believe that he's somewhere in the Tokyo area, so everyone, including myself, are trying to locate his whereabouts."

"In Kanagawa as well? That's quite a wide region to comb through," Yanagi commented with a worried expression growing on his face. "What do you think got into him?"

"Hard to say for sure. His family said in the report that he looked distraught before he disappeared." Sanada crossed his arms and leaned on the lab bench. "Hokama-san, you're his girlfriend. Do you know anything?"

"Ex-girlfriend, Genichirou," Yanagi corrected the stoic man.

"I didn't even know he was missing." She pulled out a stool to sit down on. "How do you know he's in Tokyo?"

"His transit card had a transaction history that showed it was used to get on the train heading towards here. Seems like everything else stopped there. Phone has been disconnected. No transactions on any cards he has to his name. Like he disappeared without a trace."

Yanagi sympathized with his friend. "That is a very tough case, Genichirou." He ejected the tip off of his pipette and set it down on the rack. "Unfortunately, I don't have the slightest inkling of where he could be. I'm missing over six years worth of data on everyone and can't accurately predict where he could be."

A thought popped up in Sayumi's head. "That's it! Sanada-senpai, I know where he is."

"Seriously? Where would he be, then?" Yanagi questioned.

"A hunch is better than nothing. Let's go, Hokama-san." Sanada pulled out his keys and grabbed his jacket off of one of the stools. "Are you coming, Renji?"

Yanagi sighed as he unbuttoned his lab coat. "Give me a second to wash my hands."

The three of them hopped into Sanada's cruiser as Sayumi guided Sanada to drive towards Yokohama. She had a gut feeling that if Shiraishi Kuranosuke was anywhere, it would be with Yukimura. Sanada and Yanagi were confused by her train of thought, but Sanada had nothing else to go off of and would rather solve this missing persons case before it got worse. As they pulled up to the cemetery, Sayumi jumped out of the passenger seat and ran through the gates. As she sprinted towards the location she thought Shiraishi would be in, she felt her heart drop from her chest when she found no one there. Sanada and Yanagi followed right behind her with the former running up to catch her as she slumped to her knees.

"Hokama-san!"

"I could have sworn he would be here," she said in disbelief. "There's no other place he could be."

Yanagi placed one of his hands on her shoulder in comfort. "It was a good try, Sayumi-san. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Yes. Don't be so hard on yourself, Sayumi," a voice from behind reiterated.

The three of them turned around. "Shiraishi!" Yanagi and Sanada exclaimed in unison.

Sayumi ran up and threw her hands around the Osaka native. "Kuranosuke! Why did you-"

Her words were cut off by Shiraishi, who had firmly planted his lips onto hers with no hesitation. She was surprised by the sudden contact, but she could feel the passion coming from the kiss.

"Kuranosuke…"

Shiraishi grabbed and held onto her hands tightly, as if pleading with her. "Sayumi, I love you. Not as a replacement for Sei-chan. Not as someone that I can just sleep with with no strings attached. I love you for who you are. I don't want these past seven years I've known you to be for nothing." He looked at her in the eyes with his tired red eyes and tear-stained face. "No one can ever replace you. Please."

Shiraishi suddenly felt his head start to spin and he blacked out.

By the time he woke up, he was lying in a sterile hospital room with an IV drip in his arm and Sayumi and Sanada looming over him as he woke up.

"Kurarin!"

Sanada let out a disgruntled sigh. "Shiraishi, next time you pull this shit, I will arrest you. The amount of paperwork I have to go through now is enormous."

Shiraishi smiled sheepishly. "My apologies, Sanada-san."

Sanada let out an annoyed grunt before promptly leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Sanada-senpai is very mad, but I talked him out of further repercussions. Don't worry so much about that," Sayumi laughed nervously.

Shiraishi looked down at his thin and frail body. His left arm was no longer covered up and began to panic. "The scars-"

Sayumi placed her hands over it. "I talked to the doctors while you were out. They aren't placing you on an involuntary hold. You're staying here for observation until you can move on your own and they think it's a reasonable enough time to assess things."

"To assess whether or not I'll do this again?" he scoffed. "I can assure them this is a one-off situation."

"Kurarin, why? This is dramatic, even for your standards."

He let out a long sigh. "Maybe that's what I wanted all along. Some kind of drama to fit an elaborately stupid goal of winning you back. In front of Sei-chan as well... Call me stupid, but I was desperate and I was hoping you would put two and two together."

"You're an idiot. You could've just called me," she huffed.

"I'm sorry for causing a trans-national manhunt just to prove my love for you." He reached his hand out to hold onto hers' in an act of comfort. "I meant everything I said last night. You were never a replacement for Sei-chan and you never will be. No one can replace you or the part of my heart that you have stolen from me."

Sayumi felt her eyes well up. "Kurarin, I made a horrible mistake. Those months ago back in Osaka…"

He gestured for her to come closer. "I wanted to tell you that night, but you also came to a conclusion on your own as well, right? That's why all of this happened."

"I'm so sorry. I should've at least listened to you that night, but I let my fears and anger get to me."

"I sound like a broken record at this point, but I'm sorry that I let it get that far. I really do care about you and I swear on my life I will make this right."

"You were never a replacement for Seiichi to me. I love you as you are, Kuranosuke."

He couldn't help but smile. "God, if I wasn't so weak right now, I'd throw my arms around you."

She planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "Focus on getting better. We'll head back to Osaka as soon as you get out."

"'We'? Don't you have school?"

"I'm transferring back. I'm sure I can come up with some fake reason to skip a few days. Tokyo sucks anyways; I miss the food."

"You really do spoil me, Sayumi-chan," he admitted. "I'll make sure to spoil you twice as much once I get out of here."

"I look forward to it, Kurarin."