Dear Jack,

I was only a child when I met you. I didn't think so at the time, of course; I was eager and sure of myself as only the truly naive can be. I look back now and laugh at that girl – at Daniel and I, both stumbling through the universe bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – and I hope it makes you laugh, too. I hope you found some humor in it even then, if only in the brief moments when we weren't getting ourselves into trouble and driving you crazy.

I grew up under your guidance, Jack. You taught me when to stand my ground, whether on the battlefield or at home, but more importantly, you taught me that I didn't always have to – that it took strength to retreat and regroup, not weakness. You taught me how to balance duty and command with compassion. I became a better officer for your leadership. I became a better human being. Before you, I could classify every star in the night sky. With you, I could finally see their beauty.

But I was far from a perfect student. Over and over, you tried to teach me that life was more than just the Air Force and that I needed to grab hold of it before it passed me by. But there was always one more project, one more mission, one more enemy. You understood what I was giving up; I didn't. I didn't even realize I was making sacrifices until everything I'd wanted was gone.

I wish I could take back the last five years. I wish I'd thrown caution to the wind and leapt into your arms the moment you said you cared for me. But there was work to do, and I had still had to prove myself to promotion boards and aliens and a thousand strangers who didn't matter at all. I'm sorry for that, Jack. I'm sorry I ever asked you to keep your feelings in that room. I'm sorry for all the things I did that drove us further apart– for Martouf, for Kanan, for Fifth, for Pete. I'm sorrier still for the things I didn't do that could have brought us together. I think we could have been happy. I have seen more, done more, achieved more in this life than I ever thought possible, but I missed what really mattered. You are my only regret.

Please forgive me.

Agent Johnson seems good for you. If you love her, don't let her go.

Be happy, my beautiful Jack. Consider it my dying wish.

Always,

S.C.