Chapter 6
MEREDITH
"I just can't believe it! We are working in the same place." Stranger who is now Nathan smiled at me.
"Me neither, but hey, life is full of surprises. Right?"
"Oh My God." I said and stood up from my chair, realization hit me.
"What?"
"I'm in the loop! I'm in this loop again, I met a guy in a bar, we talked, we laugh and the next thing I know, he is my boss!"
"Hey, we didn't sleep together, and we both know it will not happen. And we aren't the same, I've been honest to you."
"NO! This is like before. I can't be friend with you anymore. Oh My God. The one person who is not related to the hospital that I can share m miserable life is actually working in this hospital. And worst, again, my boss. My life is cruel." I closed my eyes and Breathe.
"Hey come on, you can still talk to me, only few people here talks to me anyway. We are still the same. The only thing that change is, we now know each other's name, which should've happen from the very beginning, we now knows each other works, and, we can see each other every day." He crossed his arms and looked at Meredith smiley.
"I'm already in the gossip mill in this hospital already, if they know that we kind of know each other, might as well plaster my name in the hospital. That gossip will never stop. Oh my God. I can't. "
"Hey, what did I told you the other night?"
"You don't get people's opinion get to you."
"Let them gossip, they don't know you." He said while looking in my eyes, he reached for my hand that is on the table and squeezed it. "Why don't we go like this, we act friends but professional, but when we are outside work, you can punch me, kick me, swear at me, like before and bitch and moan about this hospital, you ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend, and I will act like I don't know anything about it."
I smiled, "Why would you do that? For me?" I asked.
"Because, we support each other, you support me with Megan, you help me keep my sanity. And I will do the same."
We have talked more about Megan this past few day and become more opened up with his life. Putting pieces together, his best friend is our new Trauma surgeon Owen Hunt who actually recommended Nathan to the chief. Nathan is a Military surgeon who is engage to Owen's sister who went missing now for three year, the plane Megan was riding went missing, no possible plane crash, so they were thinking that it might be a hijacked from the terrorist.
"So the person you are talking about the other day was Cristina right?"
"Cristina?"
"Yang. Cristina Yang."
"Oh yeah.
"Yeah, she is like that. She is the best in our class. She is my person. She knows about you."
"So, they guy you've been talking about is working here?"
"Yeah."
"Can I know his name?"
"NO"
"Why, I will now eventually, might as well right?"
"NO, it is better for you not to know, so I can still bitch and moan about him, and you will have no idea who is."
We talked for the rest of the dinner, I offered him my food that I cooked when I got page for the result of the worked up I did with Mr. Dickerson.
We both went straight to the PiT and one of the nurses gave me the lab results.
"The changes in his E.K.G. says he had something but I don't think it is a heart attack." I said after handing off the lab results to Nathan.
"Hisr serial enzymes and dobutamine stress echo came back negative. Do a Cardiac cath Dr. Grey, let us be thorough with this.
I nodded with what he said and asked one of the nurses to give me catheter to put in her artery into her heart to evaluate what is the possible reason for her chest pain. He left the room as he got page again for another incoming trauma.
A few minutes later we found out the conclusion of her chest pain not. I went to Nathan to show the results and told him my conclusion. He agreed with it and we went inside the trauma room.
"Mr. Dickerson, we checked your record and we found out that on this date, every year, you get a heart attack."
"No, no, I know I had some scared but I don't …. Every year on this date?"
"Is there some significant on this date for you personally?"
"No. Nothing."
"What were you doing in the first year?"
"I…I don't uhm uh…" Then Mr. Dickerson stopped talking and started crying.
"Mr. Dickerson, its okay, if you don't want to talk about it."
"No uh, I uh, actually, it was the day my ex-girlfriend I broke up….. I uh, we uh, he can't uh. I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense." He said.
"Mr. Dickerson, you have stress cardiomyopathy. Every year if the same date, you get a rush of adrenaline cause by stress. Your pressure rises, you have chest pains…."
"She left me, she left me to be with another guy who can give her want she wants. I am happy for what her life have become, but I uh…."
"I know. I know."
"So how do you treat this?"
"For now, we recommend for you for a stress free environment and Dr. Riggs here will prescribe you for your heart medication."
He nodded. I left the room and run straight to the tunnel.
I felt Nathan followed me.
"You are not supposed to be here. This is the interns place." I said wiping my tears and pretending that I was not crying while running earlier.
"I don't want to mop, but it just triggers a lot of memories.'' I smiled and hop off. "This is not me."
"We are still on for tomorrow right? I can't miss the game."
"Yeah, of course, uh, George and Alex is supposed to watch it with us but they texted me that they will be stuck in the OR. I'm going ahead, I still have to do some screening for the clinical trial. We start on Monday so…"
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Brunch later?"
"Uh, house is supposed to be finished today, I have to meet the foreman this morning."
"Oh, okay. Tomorrow then."
We went to separate ways I texted Cristina to update her what just happened earlier.
By nine I was already walking towards the elevator to go home when Cristina shouted my name across the hall.
"Mer, is it true?" Cristina ask when she was able to keep up with me walking.
"What?"
"Your text?"
"Oh yeah"
"Oh yeah, that's all you can say? The guy you've been seeing for almost two weeks, that you didn't know the name, actually works here?"
"We are so not seeing each other, and we will never get be that."
"Yeah, yeah, what I just want to say, if this ever get to the next level and you might dip your toes in the cardio, Mer, I'm telling you now, I will crush you." We entered the elevator.
"You going home now?" Cristina ask. Suddenly a hand of someone stopped the elevators to close. Cristina cleared her throat and leaned against me. "Speaking of."
"Dr. Grey, you going home already?" I nodded in response. And tried to look the opposite side, where I saw Derek standing in the back. "Fuck" I mumbled. Cristina looked at me and pointed my eyes at Derek's direction.
"So, are you going to eat brunch again at that place?"
"Nope." I said and looked at Rigg's direction who is smiling.
"Why, you've been doing that for almost two weeks now. What happened?"
"Shut up, Cristina."
"Anyways, Alex said the house is done. Can I sleepover this night? Tomorrow is you off we can have like watch your mom vids."
"I uh, have plans for uh, tomorrow."
"I thought Alex and George can't join you tomorrow?" Pertaining to the game that we are supposed to watch.
"Yeah, I uh. Still going to watch it."
"Alone? Oh Mer, come on. You can't watch it alone."
"I have thing with the thing." I said and trying for her to get what I mean.
"OOOOOOH, maybe that thing can do other things that what you are saying to that thing."
"OKAY, Shut up now."
"Okay. But, you need to do the thing."
"Shut up."
I saw Nathan smirking while listening to our conversation. I tried to stop myself from giggling but it come out somehow. I shook my head and just waited for the elevator to open.
I said my goodbyes to both and ignoring Derek's presence.
When I arrived at home, construction workers are now doing the finishing touches in the new wall. I singed few contracts and gave him the check for the work that they have done. After that I went straight to my cooking class. After that I went to the groceries to buy some ingredients for the food I will be cooking for tonight. I bought new bed, sofa and furniture for George's new room.. I bought some new curtains and bed linings.
By the time I arrived at home, Alex and George was already in the house watching one of my mom's surgical tapes.
"Hey, heard from Yang that the guy from last week was Riggs." Alex shouted when he saw me preparing for dinner.
"Yeah, well."
"What's with Dr. Riggs?" George asks.
"Mer have been seeing the guy for almost two weeks now and they didn't even know each other's name and work until no apparently"
"You've been seeing someone?"
"No, I have not been seeing someone. George, I already ordered a bed and a side table for your room, I also ordered a new sofa, Alex, could you please help me later to get rid of this sofa?" Trying to change the subject which I was able to do successfully. "Also, I bought a new curtains, help me with those guys."
DEREK
I was on the elevator when I heard Meredith's voice. The feeling was like I can breathe again after hearing her voice. For the rest of the week, I've been trying to talk to her but it seems like fate was not with me as I can't see even her shadow or even hear her voice. I tried asking her friends but none of them tells me where she is.
This has happened before with Addison, but this is much worse. Much worse
From where Derek's standing, he can smell Meredith's familiar conditioner, he can see the way her hands move while talking, the way she is standing. So when Riggs entered the room, he can sense the tension Meredith body. The way it reacted was not normal. Meredith is a very classy and composed woman. As much as possible, she will be stoic in front of you if she doesn't know you or don't like you.
But this kind of reaction is oddly familiar with him. He watched Meredith and listened to her and Cristina talking. When he heard her giggle. This is a genuine laugh. This the kind of laugh Derek wants to hear every day.
When they get off the elevator, he watched Meredith leave the building, for the past months, this was their interaction, they are in exactly the same place at the same time. He can almost hear her voice even though she is not talking. It's like he's touching her. He likes to believe she also knows he's there but choosing to ignore him. And it is aching him. Finally admitting it to himself.
He went to his office and contemplating what he should do when Mark entered the room. He sat on the chair in front of me and put the hands together.
"I don't like her."
"Who?" I asked.
"The girl you are seeing. You are not even sleeping with here. Why are you with here. I don't get it. And did you know that all the nurses are turning on me, they don't want to work with me so my surgeries got pushed through but Bailey, the most refined professional, ladylike doctor in this hospital came to my defense last night. The best she could come up with was "He's a whore."" He said and but his hands in his head and tried to massage it.
I leaned into my chair while listening and looked up to the ceiling and said "I slept with her, the whole time I was thinking about Meredith. " I turned around to him and looked at him in the eye and said. "Who's the bigger whore?"
"Break up with her. Clearly you are not over with Meredith. I don't even know why you are doing this with Rose, but clearly you are not over with Meredith, and you are wasting your time."
"I can't, Meredith and I don't work. She clearly does not like want I want."
"Exactly Derek, what you want. I may have been involved in Meredith's life this past few months and may know what she has been going through and been gone through, and I have heard both sides, Derek." He said and left the room.
"I want marriage, I want kids and, a house. And she was not ready to take the next step."
"If you wanted that, maybe you should not have divorced Addison then! Cause it seems to me that whoever is okay with what you want you go for it, but when it get complicated Derek you run away!"
"I don't run away! Meredith does not want a future! And I want it! I can't be with a person who does not know where we are going."
"So, Rose is the answer to all of that? Maybe you should marry her then. Prove your point Derek! I am you friend, and someone has to tell you at some point. I am telling you now. You are drowning and you are losing Meredith." After that he left the room.
MEREDITH
The following day, Alex helped me with to get rid of sofa before he leave for work. Izzie left breakfast and Lexie stayed at the hospital. By lunch I was done cleaning and finishing the changes in the house and my room.
By three pm, I was in my seat waiting for the game to start when Nathan seated on m left. He gave me a popcorn and a diet coke and we watched the game.
"I can't believe it, Seahawks was about to give me a heart attack, and I am a heart surgeon. They almost lost."
For the first time in a while, I am completely enjoying my day. Aside from Nathan's company who has gracious and accommodating. He was fun to be with.
The next following days went by fast. Dr. Nelson and I had a few meetings and we will start on Monday where I will return to morning shift. I was in the residence lounge doing some chart update when Cristina and Izzie walked in. All of my friends are now aware that Nathan is my friend even before he started working him and giving them a brief summary on how I met him.
"Meredith, how was your date last night?" Izzie said.
"I did not go on a date, I watch a game last night."
"With a McHard apparently." Izzie snickered.
"How did you?..." I asked and munch on the chips on the table.
"ehhhh….. Just let her guess. Ignorance is a bliss." Cristina said and sat in front of me and fixed her shoe laces.
"Anyway, Bailey wants us in the M&M, let's go." Izzie said. "Drop those on the way Mer." Pertaining to my charts. I nodded and tossed the chips in the bin and picked up my coat. We went straight on the nurse station and drop off my charts when I saw Nurse Debbie smiling at me.
I looked around and can see that some of the nurses are looking at me. I ignored it and went handed Nurse Debbie the charts that I was working on.
We seated in the middle of the conference hall when Lexie and Mark decided to sit in front of us.
"Big Grey, how was our day yesterday?"
"It was good. I change the interior of the house."
"Yeah, went a visit last night, saw it. But, nothing special happened?"
"Not much."
"Mark, shut up. Let her. She doesn't know." Cristina said. Mark nodded and gave me lopsided smile.
"What doesn't know?"
"Nothing." Cristina and Mark both said.
I was about to ask him again when Nathan and Owen sat in front of George who is sitting on Izzie's right side.
A little while later Derek entered the room and looked for Mark who waved at him. Mark remove the coat from the seat he was reserving for his best friend.
Derek looked at our side and that's when I decided to pick up my phone and tried to read something but honestly I have nothing to read.
I felt people staring at me for again for whatever reason but again I chose to ignore them and just let my mind wonder on the sutures Cristina is doing.
Our first clinical trial will start this Monday and I know I need to do a lot of reporting and updates to him about it even though we will give him each possible detail in a piece of paper we still need to do a discussion about it. Day by day, I can feel myself genuinely happy but each time I see Derek, I can feel pain and the what if that I tried to ignore at the back of my mind.
M&M started with some lectures from the past cases this last few months had and ended with the brief discussion of the ongoing clinical trials the hospital will having. M&M ended 3 hours later.
We entered the elevator which consists of Alex, Cristina, George, Izzie, Lexie, Owen, Mark, Nathan, and Derek and some of the resident surgeons.
"It was a good game last night, I was able to watch the replays last night." Alex opened up, not caring much about the people around us.
"Yeah, thanks by the way. For ditching me." I said sarcastically.
"Yeah well, it seems you enjoyed it much. You went home late." Mark interjected.
"You slept again in my house? Seriously Mark, I accept strays. But you? You are not a stray. You are far too rich to be a stray. I thought it was just a visit." I said, trying to avoid the conversation where I know where it will lead eventually.
"Well, I thought you will cooking again, so I went there."
"Seriously Mer, never thought I would say, but your pastas are to die for." Izzie but in. George and Alex nodded in agreement.
I sighed. "Shut up."
"Like the changes in the house though. Very modern." I rolled my eyes in response in Mark.
"You'll join us in Joe's later right?" Cristina asked after all the banter.
"I have a thing."
"Your "thing" can wait." Cristina said in almost yelling voice as if making sure Nathan hears it. Which cleared his throat in response. He looked at me and shrugged.
Mark was staring at me the whole time and just rolled my eyes and sighed. "Okay."
I decided to stay for the rest of my time as m day off is tomorrow anyway when Dr. Nelson paged me and informed me that I need to report to Dr. Shepherd about our first patient for the clinical trial which I think is really unnecessary as we already send an email about it to him, but he insist for us to give him brief summary so if he had any questions we could answer it immediately.
I asked one of the nurses in the front desk if the know Dr. Shepherd is when they told me that he is on his way to his office.
I saw him walking in the bridge and called him.
"Dr. Shepherd!" He turned to me and raised his eyebrows.
"Dr. Nelson told me that I should give you brief information and summary about the first patient we will be having."
"Okay, start while where walking." He started to walk in the pathway when I started giving him brief information about the first patient.
"Name is Mr. Robinson, his Karnofsky score is still 80, and CBC and liver enzymes are good." I said.
"Well that's better than expected."
"I know"
"Better doesn't mean good. I don't want you getting emotionally involved with these patients. I don't want you getting your hopes up."
"My hopes are not up." I said in controlled face and assured him. More like a stoic and plain looking calm face.
"Alright, then, Dr. Grey, I hope good outcome is nearby." He said and asked for my hand for a hand shake which in returned.
"Okay. Any questions Dr. Shepherd?" I asked but before he could reply someone greeted him, or us.
We turned our face and let go of our hands and saw Addison smiling to the both of us.
"Hey." She said and had an awkward pause. "Hey, come here you." The awkwardness I felt as I saw the ex-wife of my ex-boyfriend is nothing when she hugged me. I just laughed and response and hugged her back. "Wow, it's uh.. it's great to see you guys." She said.
"How's LA?" I asked, trying to shake off the awkwardness I am feeling right now.
"Oh, it's great. It's fun. You know, it's the sun and, uh, surfing."
"You surf?" Derek asked.
"No, I-I don't surf, but ... So anyway, hey, look, I hugged you there. Did you see that I hugged you? You stole my husband from me, I hugged you. I ... I've grown." She continued. "I have, and, uh, I can be happy for the happy couple, right? I'm all L. A. And, like ... whew ... one with myself. So I feel really ... yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna go save a life now. Okay. Really, great ... great to see you, really. Cheers." She said and left us standing in the middle of the pathway where everyone can see us.
"Happy couple?" I said in Derek. He avoided my eyes as I said that.
"Thank you, you may go now. "
I nodded in response but wishing that I am not there at the moment but pretending that I am happy hence I just smiled in response and left him.
I was standing in front of the front desk doing my charts with Cristina when Mark walks in and sat in front of the computer screen.
"So, Addison is here." Mark started.
"Oh yeah, I saw her. Did you see her?"
"Yep. We talked." I nodded in response not looking at him assuming that he left and tried to concentrate in my charts when a cup of coffee suddenly blocked my view from my charts. I looked up but the person who gave me the coffee is now retreating. He turned around and raised his cup. I shook my head in response and mouthed a thanks. I badly need a coffee as I've been up for almost sixteen hours.
"Well that was smooth." Cristina commented as she saw the whole thing.
"Shut up." I said not looking at her.
"That is the "thing" right?"
"Yep, we agreed to meet after shift. I found a good place to hang out where no people are watching my every moves and judging me for dating an attending. Maybe we can go there. Not at Joe's? What do you say?"
"Mer, at some point you have to be there. Why not now? I mean, you are far better than two months ago? Maybe you can go there, and if you feel suffocated, we can go. Just try." Cristina said. "Ask McHard. Betcha he advised you to go there too." She scoffed.
"I'm going Cristina."
"McHard? Who is McHard?" Mark asked.
"Just some guy Mer have been seeing for weeks now." My eyes went wide with she said and shook my head furiously at Mark.
"NO! Cristina!"
"Well, you guys practically having brunch like every day, you went out to watch the game. I mean, someone saw you guys. There, nothing to hide anymore Mer." Cristina said as if it was not a big deal.
I was processing what she just said when Mark talked again.
"What? It's been weeks now? Just heard that someone saw you at the game yesterday I didn't know you were seeing him for weeks now. Is that the McHard?" Mark said in one breath.
"Shut up!" I said and left the place bringing my stuff back.
I decided to finish off my charts at really old guy's room when I felt that someone texted me.
Still on for tonight? Mike asks us. He said that he have some new drinks and wants you to try it. –Nathan
You heard Cristina, she wants me to join them at Joe's. Do you think I should be there? Or too soon?
Oh, the bar you've been saying where you met the guy in the bar? You have to make another step to move forward right? This is it. – Nathan
Okay, maybe I'll just go there briefly and then meet you at Ace's?
I can meet you at Joe's if you like?-Nathan
No, I can drive there. I'll text you if I have to stay so you won't wait long.
Cristina and the rest of the guys left as I had a meeting with Chief Webber and Dr. Nelson about our clinical trial. I went straight to the elevator where I saw Derek, who is also about to leave the premises, which followed by Addison who greeted me and followed by Rose. Wow, talked about awkwardness in one day. Could the ground just open and eat me. I looked down at my feet avoiding any possible eye contact when my phone ring. I opened it up and saw Nathan's name.
"I am on my way at Joe's" I said before he could even say anything.
"I can go there if things went south or if you are not ready. Just tell me. I'll be you dark horse."
"Cristina, will bite my ass if I don' show up." I said and rolled my eyes. My eyes went to the person who just entered the room and smirked at me. He laughed while his pockets are in his pants.
He walks towards the middle of Rose and Derek. He leaned at Derek and saw him whisper which is not really a whisper as everyone in this damn elevator can hear him.
"Bet you wish you have chosen the stairs… right about now." He said and turned his head to me. Addison cleared her throat and now raising her eyebrow.
"Addie, until when are you staying here?" Mark asked. Why is this damn elevator so slow?
"Oh I'm here until Monday Night."
"Oh, that's great! Meredith here will be hosting a dinner party. She'll be cooking, maybe you can join us while you are in town? What do you think Mer?" Mark said.
"Sure, yes. If you want. But don't expect too much on the food. Mark is overselling it. But yeah, my sister's birthday is this coming Sunday, and she wanted to have small dinner, so we invited few people. Richard Webber and Dr. Bailey will be there. As well as Callie and Owen if you are comfortable with them."
"Molly? The one I operated on?"
"No, Lexie Grey, she's a doctor here. She's my father's daughter too. An Intern. Mark is seeing here." Dropped the bomb as Mark drop mine's.
"Mark Sloan! If Meredith is a twelve year old kid, that Lexie Grey is a kinder garden!" She exclaimed and said in disbelief. "Is it really okay? For me to join you guys?" Addison asked. I giggled in response on what Addison just said.
"Sure, you can bring a date if you want." I said assuring her that it is okay.
The elevator door opened, I said my goodbyes to the both of them and went out as fast as I could and walked past Derek and Rose who is standing there just listening to us talking.
I arrived at Joe's minutes later and saw Cristina and the others are near at the darts and jukebox. I sighed and walks towards them, they all looked shocked when they actually saw me here. I rolled my eyes at them and put my bag in the table and went straight to the bar and ordered 6 shots of Tequila and ordered them to bring it to our table. So much for tequila diet.
I walked back to our table when I saw Mark, Addison and Derek entered the place. I tried to pretend that I didn't notice them and walked in the different direction towards our table to I won't bumped into them or see me. I went straight to where George is standing and grab some darts from his hands and started throwing it. Making myself busy and distracted which worked after a while. For the rest of the minutes, we talked about our cases from that week and we laughed. I lost count on my shot of tequila when I felt that I am tipsy and already had too much drink. I stood up and said that I'll just pee real quickly. When I came back, I realized that I forgot to text Riggs. I've been here for almost two hours now and forgot to text him. I quickly grabbed my bag and look for my phone and texted him.
"Shoot! I forgot to text Nathan that I can't meet him at Ace's." I said to Cristina who is now equally drunk as I am
"Owen!" Cristina shouted out of the blue. I looked up and saw Owen with Nathan, sitting a few tables away from us.
They both walked towards at our table. Trying to process the scene in front of me.
"What are ou doing here?" I asked.
"I figured, you'll stay here. So instead of going to Ace's and rot in their waiting for you. I joined Owen." He said and brushed the strands of my hair falling from my face. I scrunched my nose in response and let him stand beside me. He greeted Alex, George, Izzie, Lexie and Cristina. Cristina and him became more closer and finally admitted that she is great in Cardio which made Cristina happ as she is learning a lot from Nathan.
"I thought you are in a Tequila diet?" He asked.
"Well, I had a stressful and awkward day. I had too." Just when I said it I remembered that Derek is in here somewhere. My body tense with that thought and tried to shake it off. "I can leave those tequila if you want." I said and giggled. I was about to order another shots of my tequila and waved at the waiter when he grabbed my hand to stop it.
"No, you already had too much. We don't want to see you puke your guts out Mer. Not a nice picture. Really ugly view."
"You ain't the boss of me." I said back.
"Technically, I am"
"We are not at the hospital. In here we are two human being in the same level."
"Yeah, yeah. And as your friend. Stop the tequila, you barely eat earlier. It will not be pretty tomorrow."
"He's right Mer. You and Tequila, a lot of times, not a great picture." Izzie butted in.
Little while later, we all decided to go home. Nathan offered to drive me back home which I agreed in response and gave him my bag, he knows where my keys are. I'm too drunk to even know here it is. I let him looked for my car keys.
"O'Malley, drive Owen and Cristina home. Have Mer's car drive you." Nathan said and throw my keys to George.
"Hey! Becareful with that! It might hurt George!" And laughed at the thought.
"We don't want Bambi to get hurt you know." Cristina said and we both laugh.
"Gee, thanks." George said. I turned to Lexie and asked us if she wants to join us.
Lexie shook her head in response and waved at someone. I turned at my back to see who she is waving and saw Mark with Derek and Addison. I quickly turned my face avoiding possible eye contact on Mark's teasing face or the other two who I was not able to see clearly. I quickly turned my face to Alex and asked him if e is the one taking Izzie which he responded in a nod.
After that, I quickly grab Nathan's arm and tried to drag him out of the place. I almost fell as I feel dizzy from all the tequila I drank. Nathan helped me stood up from my bag on his right arm and grabbing my right arm from his left arm.