A/N: Got some issues with the paragraphs. Should be okay now, if you find any issue while reading please let me know.
Disclaimer: Twilight Universe doesn't belong to me, no money is being made etc. etc.
I drive to school with anxiety pooling in my stomach. I have my meeting with the guidance counsellor on Thursday. I like Mr. Hirsch well enough. He is kind and helpful. But apparently he has been trying to get me to talk to him since I had gone comatose. I had no intention to do that, and there is no way I can tell him anything anyway. All my issues come from supernatural stuff which I am not allowed to disclose. And then there is the fact that he reminds me of Carlisle. He looks nothing like him, but he has the same air of calm competence and unflinching acceptance.
But now I have no choice, every student has to go through this, to discuss career and college options. So I show up in his cozy looking office on Thursday. He smiles up at me as I enter.
"Bella, come take a seat. I have been meaning to talk to you." He gestures to a comfy chair in front of his desk. I swear he has the best upholstery in the while school.
"Hello Mr. Hirsch" I greet politely as I sink into the chair.
"How are you doing today?" He smiles kindly.
"Um, doing good sir, thanks." Please let's just get this over with.
"Okay, so I have all your reports and feedbacks from your teachers here. But before we start." He peers at me through his glasses, "Is there anything you would like to discuss? Anything about your future plans, any career you feel interested in, anything you want to know about?"
"Um" I try to gather up my thoughts, I have been considering things, making pros and cons lists, trying to make up my mind for almost the entirety of the Christmas break.
"I was thinking something to do with either biology or psychology." I clear my throat.
"Hmmm" He leafs through the documents in front of him, "You have good scores for both, keep them up and think about some volunteering work. It looks good on your application."
I nod, I haven't given much thought about volunteering so far.
"You are a bright student, Bella. I think you may be interested in doing a major in Cognitive Sciences? Stanford, Yale, UCSD, UCLA has wonderful programs. You may want to check them out." I nod again, I had planned to check out some options anyway. But I hadn't thought about Cognitive Sciences, that sounds interesting.
"Sounds interesting, I'll do that. Thank you sir."
"You're welcome. Do you have any questions?"
"Um, I like the idea of volunteering, but between school and a part-time job, I'm not sure if I can manage it."
"Don't worry too much about it. You can do something over the weekend, if you can find the time. You can make some enquiries, here," He hands me a sheet with numbers for the hospital, library, museum and a couple more places. "You can check for a summer volunteer option as well."
"Thanks Sir." I tuck the paper in my backpack.
After exchanging some pleasantries I exit his office and join my friends for lunch, tired but relieved to have the meeting behind me.
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A couple weeks later, Jake and I make a quick trip to Port Angeles on his Rabbit. We tell Charlie that we are going for a movie, what we actually do is pick up some parts that we couldn't find online. I get myself a phone with a one-year plan. Then we dig around some second hand shops. Jake unearths a couple of helmets which he will smuggle into his garage at night.
I find an old silver SLR that looks so classy and beautiful that I have to buy it. Jake rolls his eyes and mutters, "What's with you and ancient stuff." My eyes widen, but then he continues, "You're in love with the Rusty and now this grandpa."
I stick my tongue out at him like the mature woman I am and pay for the camera and a couple of lenses.
Angela looks very pleased when I show her the camera at school. She eagerly invites me to her house to develop the films, apparently, she had a darkroom in their basement.
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Another couple weeks pass by, and then the big day arrives. Tuesday morning Jake calls me to inform that the bikes are ready. I try to contain my excitement, Charlie looks at me from time to time, but thankfully doesn't comment. On Saturday, I sit on my palms to keep from fidgeting until I see the tail of Charlie's cruiser disappear on his fishing trip. Then I'm jumping up to get ready and rush to La Push.
Jake is already waiting for me in front of his house, with a blinding grin on his face. He pulls me into a bear hug as soon as my feet touch the ground. We do a little jig around our motorcycles, break into giggles like a couple of kids, then Jake is hauling the bikes into the bed of my truck. He drives us to a secluded stretch of trail away from well-used tracks. Jake unloads the bikes, hands me my helmet, and gives me a brief talk on the wheres and hows, and then we're ready to go.
"Ok" Jake almost vibrates with excitement, "choose a bike, which one?"
"Huh? Um" I reply intelligently.
"You are the instigator of the project, you get to call dibs." Jake pretends to tip an invisible hat at me.
"Oh wow, um, I like the red one." I finally decide.
"Cool, the black one for Jacob Black."
"Ha ha Jake, ever consider comedy for a career?"
"Ready?" Jake revs the engine, ignoring my jab.
I get on the bike. "Bella, what are you doing?" My freaking hallucination says from the other side.
"Shut up." I tell him. Jake gives me a funny look. To avoid embarrassing myself further, I take off.
Jake keeps pace with me, we are both grinning wide enough to split our faces. I rev the engine and leave Jake behind with a laugh that surprises me. I have never felt so free in my life.
"Slow down, Bella!" Jake yells, laughter in his voice.
"Not a chance, Loser!" I holler back and accelerate.
We race each other upto a sharp bend on the trail when a flash of red catches my eye in the forest on the side. It's so unexpected that I make the mistake of taking my eye off the road in search of it.
So I miss the turn and my bike skids out from under me. I bang my shoulder painfully and my right arm drags on the gravel for a couple meters. Jake was ahead of me, but he is definitely more aware of his surrounding than I was, because he makes an impressive u-turn and rushes back to me.
"Bella! Shit you're bleeding." He sounds afraid.
I knew that before he opened his mouth, not because of the stinging pain in my arm, but the salt and rust smell that I try my best not to register.
I get up with a wince and sway a little on my feet, trying to fight the nausea. Jake hovers anxiously. I open my mouth to reassure him when the sound of a twig breaking has both out heads whipping towards the forest. Only then I notice how silent it is, no birds are chirping, even the wind seems to be holding still. I am being watched, I'm sure of it.
"Bella, run" And the most annoying hallucination award goes to…
"I'm alright, let's get out of here." I whisper, suddenly feeling afraid.
Jake nod at me seriously and without another word we both ride out of there like bats out of hell.
We don't stop until we reach my truck, the drive back to the Rez is also silent. It is when we are inside his garage with a beer in our hands that Jake and I look at each other.
"What the hell was that?"
"I-I don't know." I bite my lip, an old tick I have been trying to get rid of.
"You looked really spooked back there." Jake pressed.
"I thought I saw something." I shrug uncomfortably. Jake nods and drops the topic.
"And what are we going to tell Charlie?" Jake gestures at my arm. We have gone to the local dispensary and got it bandaged.
"Hiking accident." I feel confident that Charlie will believe it too.
"Yeah, Charlie will believe it too." Jake echoes my thought, but he sounds more teasing about it. I roll my eyes, I'm doing a lot better, thank you.
As predicted, Charlie rolls his eyes and starts to lecture me about being careful and not neglecting injuries in a stern voice. But he looks satisfied when I inform him that I have gone to the dispensary and have had it cleaned and bandaged.
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I try to shake off the uneasy feeling I got in the trail, it definitely doesn't stop me and Jake from riding around all the trails and roads where we are less likely to come across people who may recognise us. I have definitely gotten better with the bike. I would have decided to make it my main mode of transport, but Charlie will have an aneurysm. I take my camera in my outings, Jake seems equal parts interested and amused at my new hobby, but we do take turns taking each other's picture posing on our bikes.
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I finally sit down to do some research for college and draft out some essays that I will have to write for the applications. It feels weird to think about future and make plans and preparations. Is this what being an adult is about? I certainly feel more grown up than I did when I came to Forks. I just thought of the next two years back then and just came here. College was still a vague concept that I was supposed to be saving money for. Now I am calculating my incomes and planning for scholarships to apply for and doing research on the locations in the college and part time job options to pull me through my expenses.
A part of me balks at the thought of leaving Forks. Coming here has changed my world. This is where I got a glimpse of the supernatural world that exist alongside my own. I got a taste of the beauty and danger I didn't know existed, that I didn't know I wanted. Can I really just leave it all behind and disappear in a sunny and normal place like LA, or New York? I could just take admission in Forks Community College. What would it be like ten years from now, to live in a huge city, busy with my normal, mundane routine and remember this as the most unreal year of my life? Can I really go back to living a normal life? Do I even want to?
The other part of me answers, yes. That's exactly what I need. I do not want to leave the supernatural world behind, sure, but what I don't want is to beg and plead to be a part of it when the supernatural world didn't want me around. I am not pretty, or fast, or alluring. But I am smart and I will be strong enough in my human world to make my own way. With that in mind I start making a list of the places I am going to apply.
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My excitement to visit La Push has subsided a little bit now that the bikes are completed, but not by much. I enjoy riding around with Jake just as much as I enjoyed building the bikes. I have also become and expert at ignoring my persistent hallucination.
More difficult is to ignore the pang of pain that shoots through my heart every time his disappointed and tortured expression accompanies his pleading voice, but I'm working on it.
We hike up a trail on the hills surrounding the First Beach on one overcast Sunday. Jake has brought supplies to build a small campfire, I have brought some sausages to roast and of course some specimen from Jake's Secret Stash or more commonly known as JSS. We enjoy our picnic and then sit sipping out beers with our feet dangling from the cliff, when we hear hooting and cheering from above.
I look up, above and behind us is a steep wall of rocks.
"Who's that?" I wonder aloud.
"That's Sam and his band of cool boys." Jake says in a low voice, he sounds resentful which is very uncharacteristic of his usually sunny nature.
Suddenly there is a loud cheer and a boy drops off the cliff above.
"Oh Shit!" I scream and lean forward to see what happened to him.
"It's okay." Jake laughs and pulls me back from the edge, "They are just cliff diving." Three more boys follow the first one, with more hooting and yelling.
"Cliff diving!" I look down to the ocean below and up where the higher cliff must be and give Jake a disbelieving stare. No sane person would jump from that cliff for fun.
"Cliff diving is very popular here." Jake shrugs, like, no big deal, "Of course, we usually jump from here, or from one of the lower cliffs. Not Sam's group though. They are too mighty to dive like ordinary people."
I wait for him to continue, he looks like he needs to get this off his chest.
He doesn't disappoint, "Everything was fine until Sam dropped out of college. He was studying in Forks Community, dating Leah, you know Leah, right? Harry's daughter?"
I nod, he takes a swig from his bottle, "Then last year he comes back to the Rez one day, disappears for two solid weeks. Then he comes back and shuts himself up in the house, breaks up with Leah. Six months later, Paul quits college and starts following Sam around like a lost puppy. Then Jared joins them, and they become this cool gang, looking down on everyone, whispering among themselves as if they know something rest of us don't."
I roll the bottle cap as I think, "You said Sam, Paul and Jared. There were four, who's the fourth one?"
Jake looks reluctant, but after almost a minute says, "Embry, he joined them last week."
Embry is one of Jake's friends, now I understand his frustration.
"Sam watches me." Jake confesses, his hands restless. "It's almost as if he's waiting for me."
"But you won't." I blurt out, suddenly feeling anxious, "Join his cult or whatever, right? They maybe diving off the highest cliff or whatever, but think about Billy. And think about your future, you don't want to be another college dropout, or high school dropout."
"Relax Bella." Jake laughs, his previous anger gone, "I'm not planning to drop out of school to hang out with them. I don't even like Paul."
"Good" I finish my beer, wondering when did I start caring about Jake's future.
A/N: Little bit of time jumps in this chapter. Too fast? A little choppy? Let me know what you think.