There's someone
I've been missing
I think they could be
The better part of me
Loneliness. Absolute, utter loneliness.
Elena Gilbert had always been afraid of it. The sentiment of having nobody, absolutely nobody around her always daunted her as a child. It frightened her so much that she would sneak into her parents' bedroom and spend the night in their warm embrace.
She would never have predicted that her worst nightmare would eventually come true.
And this time, after 20 years on this planet, Elena Gilbert didn't have her parents to allay her fears.
They were dead. Everyone was dead.
And young herself would cry. Young Elena would sob and scream about how cruel life was to her, about how she didn't deserve any of that suffering, but crying wasn't enough anymore.
Because Elena Gilbert didn't feel just lonely. She felt redunted.
She knew she was a burden for the ones around her; she was jobless, constantly depressed and thoroughly useless. A fucking disappointment.
Maybe she was better off dead. Maybe she could be with her parents again...
Standing before the marmoreal sink of her pint-sized bathroom, Elena observed the crimson drops of her blood falling on it. Her right palm was trembling as she held the fine razor blade between her fingers.
She was reminiscing again, and the mere thought of everything that had occured made her feel like dying.
The blinking lights of the crowded bar were blinding her.
Everything around Elena Gilbert was spinning, as she was utterly dizzy due to the exaggerated amounts of alcohol she had consumed and the heavy smell of crack in the congested party. However, she was smiling intently while relishing the enjoyable, buoyant atmosphere of the place.
The music was defeaning and countless of vivid teenagers were dancing passionately around her with their friends or lovers, and Elena was utterly glad that she finally had everything she ever wanted.
The perfect grades, the perfect family, the perfect friends, the perfect boyfriend...
The perfect life in general.
Her smile widened even more as she felt Liam's hands tenderly wrapping around her thighs just below her short, revealing skirt and he playfully squeezed her butt. "I love you." he whispered with a breathy voice into her ear and Elena's body shivered as it reacted to his touch. Her legs weakened and she instantly knew that she craved him- all of him.
Leaning in, she didn't hesitate to capture his lips and delve her tongue into his mouth; after all, Elena loved everything about Liam. His looks, his personality, his status. The most popular and handsome boy of the university had apparently devoted all of his attention to her, and how couldn't he anyway.
Elena Gilbert was indisputably what every man would have ever wanted. So pretty, so desirable, so... divine.
With the passion they always had, it was inevitable that Elena and Liam were going to end up having sex in the bathroom of the party, both of them indefinitely dizzy, drunk and simultaneously turned on.
Elena's body was forced and placed against the cadmium yellow wall, while Liam's fingers pleased her with the way only he knew. Silent in order not to be heard, Elena tried to hold her breath as her legs were wrapped around his lower abdomen and her palms placed on his soft hair.
Elena had to admit- Liam was good at sex. Always having the upper hand, he never failed to please her and she was surely satisfied with her breath was heavy and she moaned in pleasure as Liam's hands drove all over her body, but at that point she was completely ignorant of what was coming.
Or how a moment of indefinite pleasure could so effortlessly be devastated by a single, plain phone call.
Hearing the sound of her ringtone, she initially tried to ignore it, but eventually Elena groaned in annoyance, as she gave in and opted for picking it up. Liam's face was annoyed as well at the sight of the brunette escaping from his grasp on the brick wall, in order to open her purse and get the buzzing device into her hands.
And just like that, everything crumbled into dust. By simple, mere phone call.
Elena could not concentrate on the mysterious person informing her about the car crash that her parents and brother had, however. Her mind was elsewhere and everything disappeared around her; life lost its vibrant colors and there was suddenly no point in it.
And that was precisely when Elena Gilbert got lost in her own self- and there was no coming back.
Two years later, Elena Gilbert was still in a bathroom and still lost.
Everything was red as she cut her wrists, and she was incapable of stopping. Even though it hurt like hell, she cherished the pain. And even though the scratches on her left wrist hurt indefinitely, she had gotten more than accustomed to it. After all, that was nothing compared to the mental pain she was undergoing, anyway.
Cutting herself, drinking and smoking were nothing compared to her mental pain in general.
She was about to hurt herself more, she wanted to see herself suffering and bleeding to eventually be satisfied, but she groaned as she heard the bell of her front door ringing.
She could never get a moment of peace.
She dropped the razor blade to the sink and rapidly- and almost mechanically- wiped the blood off her wrist. The tears in her eyes instantly disappeared and Elena's face took its usual blank, lifeless expression. Wondering who was knocking on the door so early in the morning, she covered her bleeding wounds by wearing a velvet, black jacket and headed for the entrance of her house.
Seeing her best friend's figure so early in the morning was definitely something unheralded.
"Oh, there you are!", Caroline said with an ironical tone, her eyebrows uplifted at her Elena's figure. She didn't ask for permission as she walked past the brunette and entered the petite apartment. Frowning in disgust, Caroline saw the neglected piles of unwashed plates in her kitchen sink, along with the empty pizza boxes. "It stinks in here.", she said with a cynical and judgemental tone.
It was apparent that Elena's house was a thorough mess, as the brunette was by no means willing enough to cleanse it. When her family was around, Elena was accustomed to helping her mother with the housework; she would cook, sweep the floor and dust the furniture, but now all of those seemed to be in vain.
Elena rolled her eyes at her, "Always so judgy, Caroline."
"Please, you love me.", Caroline answered, grinning dauntlessly at her.
Caroline Forbes was an integral part of Elena's life- it seemed as she was always there for her, wanting to aid her in her own, eerie way. They might have hated one another in primary school, but at the end of the day they ended up being best friends.
Elena Gilbert could not imagine her life without Caroline Forbes.
"Why are you here, don't you have work today?", Elena asked her after some seconds of observing her walking around the house. Caroline had initiated establishing a career in the field of journalism, and she always was devoted to it. She never missed work, and her being there confounded Elena.
Caroline's figure turned towards her direction, her eyes sharp but glittery, and her shoulders fell at Elena's weak figure. Her best friend was so pretty, impeccable and divine. She could have a perfect life within a snap of her fingers.
Her eyes, though, Elena's chocolate eyes was what made Caroline teary in an instant. In contrast to the rest of her body, her eyes looked vacant, exhausted, blank. They had lost the childish, glimmery and vibrant tone they used to have when her parents were around.
"Work can wait. I'm here because I can't see you like this anymore."
"Like what?", Elena asked her, utterly baffled.
Caroline lowered her shoulders and shook her head in pure disappointment. "Oh god, Elena", she stated with a low and sincere voice. "You are the prettiest and funniest girl I know. I know you've been through a lot and I understand, but can't you see that you are throwing away your life?"
At the sound of Caroline's words, Elena's eyes widened, as they'd never had a conversation like this after the accident. Elena's hand instantly went to her left wrist, where the scratches beneath her jacket still hurt her. If Caroline or anyone ever found out about them, Elena would be in serious trouble.
Addicted as she was, though, she couldn't think straight nor comprehend Caroline's words. Her mind was in thorough denial; she wasn't devastating her life and she didn't have any intention to, right?
"I am not throwing away my life.", she answered with a stubborn tone and Caroline shook her head once again.
"Oh really?", the blonde reacted, a fierce expression taking over her face. "You've been jobless for months! You don't hang out, you don't have fun, you don't make new friends, god, you can't even eat proper food! And don't get me started on the smell of cigarettes and alcohol in this house!"
"Are you here to lecture me?", Elena answered, utterly exhausted. Her day was already macabre and fighting with Caroline would just add insult to the injury. "I'm an adult, and you're not my mother as far as I'm concerned."
"I'm not your mother and I'm not here to lecture you, Elena.", the blonde replied, looking at her with disappointment, "I'm here to help you. This isn't you."
Elena's eyes darkened, as she looked at Caroline's figure. So it was true, she was a burden. Her friends didn't look down upon her as their companion, but, on the contrary, she disappointed them. She was a problem- a liability.
Another one of her fears came true.
Noticing Elena's startled expression, Caroline's voice softened. "I found you a job, and a good one.", she said after some seconds, a petite smile appearing on her face.
"What?"
"Yeah, I found you a job.", Caroline repeated, " You know how much I love you, but I have my own expenses now. I'm sorry, but I can't keep lending you money."
Elena scoffed. Of course.
She knew that the time would come when Caroline would find the courage to talk to her about that issue. She had borrowed loads of money from her, and the blonde was more than willing to provide her with it, but Elena never compensated her- she never payed her back.
"And what is this job exactly?", the brunette answered with curiosity, because she'd never bothered with finding a job herself. She knew she would hardly say yes, however, as staying at home and smoking were always more exhilarating.
"Well, a close friend of mine is a maid in that very luxurious mansion, and she texted me yesterday that they're in need of new maids."
Elena lifted her eyebrows, "A maid?", she scoffed ironically, "Can you imagine me sweeping and dusting the furniture? I can't even clean my bedroom!"
Caroline smiled provokingly, "Well, it's a challenge and you need something new in your life."
Elena rolled her eyes at Caroline's excitement, "...and why is this job an opportunity? Being a maid at a mansion is a great, but nothing too special."
Caroline's expression changed, as she smirked at Elena, "That mansion doesn't belong to just anyone, Elena. It belongs to the Salvatore brothers."
Elena tried to reminisce about the forenamed surname, but failed. "Am I supposed to know them?"
"Duh!", Caroline answered with enthusiasm and ardor, "Their bourbon is literally the most reputable in the world, they are fucking millionaires! And they're both hot as hell!"
At the sound of the word millionaires, Elena's eyes glistened.
Money.
Money with which she could buy whatever she desired.
Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea... She would finally be able to repay Caroline and fend for herself. Maybe she would also be able to buy expensive cigarettes and drinks for once.
Caroline's hands travelled to her pocket before she opened her phone. Scrolling down her pictures collection, she found the one she wanted and turned it towards Elena's direction.
"Just look at them!", she said with dreamy eyes, as Elena took the phone in her hands.
The picture was a plain one, its background a luxurious porch, two males standing abide one another in the centre of it. Both of them dressed in black, they unostentatiously stared at the camera.
Elena continued listening to Caroline's fangirling. "They're both so hot, but look at the one on the right! His smile is literally perfection, and he seems so cute! I think his name is Stefan!"
Elena looked at the man Caroline was talking about. Stefan, as it seemed, was a very attractive,pulchritudinous and gorgeous man. His sweet smile, pure and profound, gave her the sensation of tranquillity- she almost felt like smiling as well. His eyes were green and mesmerizing, and Elena had to admit he seemed generous and good hearted.
Her eyes travelled, afterwards, to the other brother. There was an apparent contrast between him and Stefan. That man wasn't smiling at the camera; he was just staring with a monotonous, mysterious and even menacing expression. He seemed slightly older than Stefan. He was indeed one of the most good looking men she'd seen in her life, but simultaneously one of the most intimidating ones. Even though his eyes were ocean blue and his face angelic, he looked more of the devil than an angel to her.
"Who's this?" Elena asked Caroline who expected the question.
"That's Damon, the older one. I really don't know much about him, but he seems..."
"...cold", Elena finished the sentence for her and her best friend nodded.
"Well, it's not like you will ever talk to them, but at least it will be fun observing them and their rich lives."
"Who said I'll accept it?", Elena replied rapidly, but Caroline knew what she was doing.
"Oh, you already have."
"What?"
"I've already sent an application and they accepted you."
"WHAT?", Elena shouted in surprise, not expecting Caroline's statement in the least. She was her best friend, she always looked up to her, but she had no right to invade in her life without bothering to ask her.
"I had to do it. I had to help you, Elena.", Caroline told her with prudence, as Elena's glare burned her. She knew that signing her up without her permission was morally wrong, but she couldn't see her best friend struggling to survive anymore. Caroline's love for Elena went beyond care; Elena was family and she would do anything for her.
She was sure that she was doing the right thing.
"I know it's wrong, but it's definitely better than your current lifestyle. It will be invigorating for you. Toronto is such a beautiful city!"
"Toronto?", Elena panicked, "You want to send me to fucking Toronto?"
"Elena, it will-"
"You want to get rid of me, that's it!"
The brunette felt the anger suffocating her, and at that moment she hated Caroline. It was not her decision to make.
"Elena, " Caroline said with teary eyes, "it will be hard for me and even harder for you, but you should change sceneries. Your psychologist has been telling you to do so, but you don't even listen to him! "
"Liam would never agree to this! I can't... I can't leave! " Elena said in denial, but Caroline knew her to the bone.
"Liam loves you, you've been together for a long time. He wants what's best for you and he's sure your heart will always belong to him, no matter how far you two are.
Elena scoffed, "But I don't want to leave him, he loves me. "
It was a bold move from Caroline to do, but she approached her best friend and placed her palm, comfortingly on her shoulder. "I know he does, but you need to think about yourself for once."
"I know how much you love adventure, Elena." Caroline added, a small, sad smile on her lips. "Live it. We will all be here when you decide to return."
"My parents wouldn't want that either." Elena objected again, shaking her head in denial. She couldn't do it.
"Your parents wanted what's best for you. All of us want what's best for you.", Caroline said before noticing Elena's insecure expression. "You can just try, you know... You could go there for a month, and if you don't like it, come back."
"I..."
"Please, Elena." Caroline literally begged her. "Do this, for me. If you trust and love me, do it."
Elena looked into Caroline's eyes and saw nothing but pure honesty. She knew Caroline was telling her the truth, but, was she ready for such step? Was she ready to leave her home? Was she ready to leave her deceased family and the memories that revolved around them? Was she willing to leave Caroline's comfort? Was she willing to leave Liam's love?
"I'll do it.", she answered.
Because she had nothing to lose anyway.
"Fuck."
Miles away, Damon Salvatore hated his life.
The 25 year old, attractive male with the breathtaking cerulean blue eyes and the perfectly sculpted body, who was capable of possessing every heart that he desired, while simultaneously not having a heart of his own.
So ironic, really. His eyes were wandering around his luxurious, commodious room with nothing but an indifferent expression, the exact opposite to what he was supposed to be feeling after what he just did.
From Damon's stare, everything was so melancholic under the absence of the noon light; from the entirely clean, lavish furniture to the underutilized guitar and his bourbon collection.
More pitiable to his eyelids although, was the situation occuring right on the mattress of his own, individual bed. The nude body of a blonde woman placed besides his own, her leg tenderly positioned on his lower abdomen, while her delicate fingers were drawing invisible, petite circles on his angelic skin.
"I love it when you're romantic", the woman said as she caressed his chest. His eyes were directed at the big window, however, as he attempted to conceal his growing resentment. He hated this. He hated her.
Fuck, he didn't like her at all.
Yet, he still had to sleep with her.
"We should do this more often." the woman added with a sensual tone, which did nothing but disgust him.
She was not the one he wanted. She wasn't her.
"Yes Liv, definitely." he responded, his tone utterly indifferent as he prevalently lied to her.
Taking a deep breath, he detached her body from his own and stood up from the velvetlike mattress, right before approaching his majestic wardrobe and putting on a suit.
"Where are you going? ", Olivia complained as she observed him putting on his boxers and trousers, internally admiring his impeccable body. " I thought we were gonna spend the night together!"
"Uhm... business with Stefan." he replied shortly and sharply, lying once again, as he wore a matching black shirt and went on to meticulously tying the laces of his gucci shoes.
He needed to get out of there as soon as possible.
"At 4pm? "
"Yes, at 4pm.", he glanced at her with a fierce, burning expression, his jaw clenched. "Is there a problem?"
Olivia's eyes darkened at the sight of his; Damon was daunting, scary, intimidating.
However, Olivia Parker, the daughter of the well-known billionaire, was in love. She had fallen in love with Damon's blue eyes, his divine body and figure, and no matter what he did, she was head over heels for him.
Even though he treated her like trash.
There were times when he was sprightly, jubilant and tender and others when he acted like he couldn't stand her. And Olivia couldn't realize it. Call it love, call it stupidity and fatuousness, but she couldn't realize his real intentions.
"No." Olivia answered and swallowed, as much as she'd love to refuse, "there's no problem."
"Okay, bye. " Damon told her plainly as he left her alone in his bedroom.
Closing the door behind him, he took a deep breath once again, as honestly felt like he was deprived of air. With a smooth movement, he straightened his $7000 Ralph Vuitton suit and fixed a strand of his hair.
He knew what he had to do.
His feet rapidly dragged him to the upper floor, as he got into his brother's room without even knocking the door.
"Damon-" Stefan said, startled by the abrupt opening of his room's door.
"Get dressed." Damon said adamantly. "I'm taking you out today."
Stefan, still in his pajamas, looked at him with a baffled expression. "What the hell? I was actually going to bed."
"Yeah, I don't care. Get dressed and I'll wait for you in the car." he repeated with the same tone of voice and he knew that Stefan would eventually obey.
Stefan rolled his eyes at Damon, never surprised by how gorgeous his brother was.
Damon Salvatore- dressed with nothing but a silk, black Ralph Vuitton suit and matching shoes, his hair flawlessly styled- was looking at him with a solid expression, that indicated what Stefan already knew, anyway.
He never took no for an answer.
"Wasn't your ass supposed to be with Olivia today?", Stefan asked him, but Damon's facial expression wasn't alternated at all.
"Yeah. We had sex and she's in my bedroom right now."
"What?" Stefan said in disgust, "and you want to get out and flirt with other people? Are you for real?"
Damon's eyes darkened at Stefan's words, as his brother was apparently ignorant of what he was talking about. "You know I don't care about her. Liv and I are just fucking."
"But-"
"For the last time, Stefan." Damon cut him off sharply. "I sleep with her because of her money and that's it."
"Get dressed.", he added and left the room.
Walking towards the exit of his majestic mansion, Damon took everything in. The pitch black night sky made everything depressing; everything was mundane and humdrum just like his life. The luxurious furniture that would impress anyone else, illuminated by the moon rays that passed through the windows, seemed worthless under his stare.
He had so much money he had forgotten what normal life even felt like.
Damon Salvatore, with small, yet decisive steps, got out of the mansion and headed towards his garage, his staff opening the door instantly for him. They knew Damon relished going out at that time of the night anyway.
He got in, ignoring the underlying looks of jealousy and desire springing from the guards around him- they were nothing compared to his glory. After getting into his black Porsche and checking whether his hair was impeccably styled, he initiated the engine and it directed the vehicle to the front part of the house.
Damon knew what he needed. After what happened in his sorrowful past, he'd never been devoted to anyone or anything; all he ever did- besides business meetings and work- was hanging out late at night, making out with random rich men and women and getting drunk.
And the worst part was that nobody dared to stop him. They were all daunted by him.
And he didn't care. He didn't care that nobody ever approached him, that nobody ever- besides his brother of course- cared about the real Damon, not the hot millionaire who seemed to have the perfect lifestyle.
In his mind, he was too good for that world anyway.
"Took you long enough.", Damon said when Stefan eventually appeared and got into the car. Dressed in a prevalent pair of trousers and a black shirt, Stefan didn't look like his brother at all.
After starting to drive through the crowded streets of Toronto, Damon looked at his brother's outfit with a judgemental tone. "You look so... cheap."
"I look casual.", Stefan responded, slightly annoyed. "Maybe you should too sometimes."
A smirk took over Damon's face at his brother's words and snorted afterwards. "And why would I do that."
"Because money doesn't bring happiness? Dad always said-"
"Dad isn't here, so spare me, Stefan." Damon replied and looked ahead with an annoyed expression at the congested road. "I fucking wanted to have fun and you're already ruining my night."
Stefan shook his head, reciprocating him. "It's not my fault you've turned out to be exactly like him."
"What the fuck do you mean now?"
"Well, you know." Stefan continued, utterly annoyed by his arrogant and cynical behavior, "You're all over yourself, you want people to be afraid of you, you're rude to the staff all the time..."
"Jesus, Stefan." Damon caught him off and smirked again, a devilish smirk that was never up to good.
"Why should I be nice to people when whose whole life costs less than my fucking underwear?"
"You're disgusting." his brother told him but Damon never listened to him anyways. Stefan knew how insolent, misbehaving and mischievous a person Damon was and had thoroughly accepted the fact that he was never going to change, but he still was and always would be his brother.
In spite of every single thing that he did, he couldn't live without him.
The car continued moving and none of the brothers said anything further. The night was going to be a prevalent one. Stefan would quietly sit in an isolated corner of the bar, avoiding to get drunk in order to return home safe, while Damon would flirt with random rich men and women, get high and end up in a complete stranger's bed.
Damon knew it himself as well; he was never going to change. His life was as it was and he had to accept it, embrace it.
But what happens when a person comes into your life and gives it a complete new meaning?
He would soon find that out.
Hey!
I've never thought i would post a delena fanfic, let alone on , but here i am, writing about my favorite ship.
Nowadays I'm honestly very busy with my studies, so I'll try my best to update and relatively long chapters, because I honestly love this book.
This first chapter was an introduction to Damon's and Elena's lives, which are apparently so different. I know it was lowkey boring but it was really necessary.
In the next chapter they're gonna meet hehe;)
Anyway, I'll post soon ily y'all
Iris