Chapter 10

SEASON 14. THE FOCUS IS ON TWENTY-FIVE ACTS ALSO AMANDA COMES CLEAN.

The next morning the squad was back together again. Cragen received a call about the rape of author of an erotic book. "Liv and Amanda I want you to take this, she's at the hospital and we may need to be extra sensitive." Amanda was happy to work with Liv, but they also kept it professional. "Liv, have you read her book, because it's pretty intense."

They went to the hospital the victim Jocelyn Paley, denied being raped and didn't want anyone called. In the end she reluctantly agreed to a rape kit, but it was tough. "Captain, she had marks on her neck and trauma." Fin and Nick uncovered something big, "Guys we have tape." Turns out they had footage of the rape which took place in the elevator.

Just as the were about to watch it, they heard an unfamiliar voice, "A video, that will help, maybe the only thing that will help. This case will be tough to win." Everyone turned to look, "I'm your new ADA. My name is Rafael Barba." They watched the tape and Barba asked, "Is she credible? That book she wrote will make it hard." Olivia, Amanda, and Barba called Jocelyn in to talk about the case. They decided to go for it.

Olivia walked in the squad room and saw Amanda sitting at her desk, she walked over, seeing the room was empty. She bent down and whispered in her ear, "My place or yours?" She then kissed her softly on the neck. "Hmmmm you pick." Olivia smiled, "That's easy I pick yours, it's closer and I can hurry up and have a make out session before dinner."

They headed to her place, although they didn't stay there often, usually Amanda's choice. They sat on the couch kissing. Amanda slid her hand under Olivia's shirt and rubbed her soft stomach. Olivia cuffed Amanda's face and pushed her on her back so she was straddling her. "Liv?" Olivia smiled at her, because Amanda was so cute when she was like this, "Hmmm?" Amanda thought about what she was going to say, "I know you still need me to tell you things, but are you my girlfriend?"

Olivia pushed her hands up Amanda's shirt lifting it to see her white lace bra. "Is that what you want?" Amanda was stunned and her breathing became rapid, so she just shook her head yes. Olivia pushed her bra up and kissed her stomach and licked all the way up to her bare breast. "How about this?" She said as she licked around one nipple then sucking. "And this?" She said moving to the other nipple giving it the same attention. "Holy shit Liv." Olivia looked at her, "We really should work on your communication skills. I would be happy to be your girlfriend."

They kissed each other. "Liv I think I need a shower." She laughed, "Ok baby. I'll make dinner." While Amanda showered and cooled off, Olivia looked in the refrigerator, she decided grilled chicken Caesar salad. Amanda came out, "Salad?" Olivia scoffed, "Amanda, we don't stay here often, I barely scraped this together. Besides I gave you extra chicken, so stop complaining."

Amanda ate, "What if I moved in with you?" Olivia couldn't believe she was asking, she was happy she was asking, but still couldn't believe it. "Amanda, I would love it." Amanda smiled, "I thought you would say no." Olivia squinted, "Why?" Amanda shrugged, "What if I get on your nerves or we…" Amanda frowned, "We what Amanda?" Amanda continued, "What if we don't stay together." Olivia reached for her hand, "We will be together, but if you get on my nerves, I'm kicking your butt to the guest room." Amanda laughed.

While Olivia took her shower, Amanda thought it was time to tell her everything, Olivia deserved that much. They settled into bed, "Liv, I need to tell you something. Will you hold me?" Olivia pulled Amanda to her chest and brushed her hair away from her face and rubbed her back. "My mom never held me or rubbed me like you do." Olivia tilted her chin up so she could see her, "Are you trying to tell me I'm your mom, because I'm older than you, but not that old." Olivia smiled and that made Amanda smile. Olivia knew she was about to share something major, so she wanted to lighten the mood. "Liv the things you did on the couch, no way you're my mom."

Amanda continued feeling safe in her arms. "I gambled in Atlanta, not just here. I don't know why I didn't learn my lesson. My boss caught me just like Cragen." Olivia listened and knew since she read her file and didn't see anything about that, it was a sign that something wasn't right. "My family and THAT" Amanda put the emphasis on the word that. "It's why I don't trust people." Olivia kissed the top of her head, "You trust me though, right?"

Amanda held Olivia tight, "They hurt me Liv." Olivia heard her boss, then they hurt me. "Baby what happened? Do you want to tell me?" Amanda cried, "It was my fault, if I didn't gamble…" Olivia stopped her, "Baby don't this, nothing was your fault." Amanda sighed, "Just let me tell and you decide if you still want me. Don't say anything until I'm done. Ok?" Olivia promised to listen, but also promised she would always want her.

Amanda told her about the night, "I went to an underground gambling club and I won big, too big. I was dumb Liv, I worked in SVU, I wasn't undercover. I should have known I could be spotted at any time. I was playing and I saw a teenage girl that was a victim that I worked with. She gave me up, told them I was a cop, and it was over."

Olivia held her tight, knowing the worst of the story was coming. "They asked me for favors and I knew it was wrong. They wanted an address of a juror, it was a test. I followed her, but in the end, I couldn't do it. I wasn't a bad cop Liv. The guy who was making the threats was named Declan Murphy." When Amanda said Murphy, she felt Olivia's body, "I know, I'm dumb. When I heard the bookie's name was Murphy, it should have been a sign." Amanda continued, "When I couldn't do it, Murphy threatened me, he grabbed me and pulled me in a room, I thought he was going to rape me. He told me he was Lieutenant Murphy and was undercover. I worked with him to bring down the club and he saved my career."

"I still had to deal with my Captain though." Olivia knew who that was, Captain Reynolds that's who authorized the transfer. She wanted to say something but promised to listen. So she just kissed and loved on her while she spoke. "I was pulled in a meeting with him and Deputy Chief Patton." Olivia knew right away where this was going. It was wrong, that's not the way it would have happened and the fact nothing was in her file was wrong. "They told me I could make it go away, if I gave them what they wanted. "

Amanda's body was tense, but she kept talking, "At first Liv I said yes, I just wanted my job, but when Captain Reynolds held me down across the desk, I screamed NO." Olivia shut her eyes to stop the tears from falling. "Patton ripped my clothes off and raped me. Captain pinned my arms so hard that I had marks from it. It hurt so bad and I couldn't stop screaming."

Amanda's heart was beating so fast, Olivia placed her hand over her chest to help calm her down. "When he was done, I fell to the floor. I had blood dripping down my legs Liv. Patton didn't care, he picked me up like a rag doll and told Reynolds it was his turn. I begged him not to and in the end he couldn't do it." It didn't make Olivia feel any better. "When Reynolds backed away, Patton took my head and hit it against the desk. It knocked me out and the next thing I remembered was waking up in the crib. They even changed my clothes into a police shirt and shorts. I knew I had to get out of there. That's it Liv, that's why I left."

Amanda's whole body finally relaxed, "Amanda I don't care what you did, you didn't deserve that and it wasn't your fault." Amanda looked at her, "Do you still want me Liv?" Olivia kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then her other cheek, and finally softly on the lips, "Yes, of course I do. Don't ever ask me that again or I will punish you." Olivia winked at her and Amanda loved that she treated just the same. She didn't want what she told her to change their relationship. "I love you Amanda Rollins." Amanda kissed Liv, "I love you too Olivia Benson." Olivia knew Amanda planned to tell her here at this apartment. She wanted to leave the bad memory here and not at her place.