Bo clapped as we sang happy birthday to her, smashing her face into the cake rather than using her hands to feed it to herself. My mother was recording it, cooing for Bo to look at Nana. Charlie stood in the corner of the kitchen, part of the crowd, yet at the same time, outside-looking in. He was nursing a beer, watching Bo with weary eyes, a haunted expression taking over his features. I walked over, going unnoticed even by him even as I stood less than a foot away.

"Charlie." I greeted, a smile playing on my lips, though we both knew it was false.

"Edward." His mustache lifted as he spoke out of one side of his mouth, taking a sip from the can.

"How's it going?"

"It's going. Staying busy with work, you know."

"We haven't seen you much; Bo would love to spend more time with her grandpa."

"I'll try to be better about that." He said halfheartedly, looking at Bo, who had finally captured his attention by waving a frosting filled fist at him.

She demanded to be the center of attention in a crowd, seeking out those who she felt hadn't noticed her. She was eager to flash her smile and earn a laugh from those around her.

"Can you go to her, please? It's her birthday after all, and she's calling for her grandfather." Laying it on thick, needing to see him with her.

I knew if he could just break out of the protective shield he had surrounding him, he would never again let that baby go.

He sighed, setting his beer down and side-eyeing me with annoyance, before apprehensively walking to Bo. He grabbed the plush sheep he had brought for her from the present table and handed it to her, disregarding her messy state.

She grabbed the toy with great glee, shoving the side of it into her mouth and biting down with a growl. Charlie let out a laugh I hadn't heard in a very long time, shocking most of us silent as we watched him with his granddaughter.

"Little Bo Peep…" He began to chant, Bo clapping her hands and rocking her head back and forth as she did whenever we sang the short rhyme to her, enjoying hearing her name in song.

"Finally." My mother whispered beside me, filming Charlie and Bo as they played.

"I miss her," Charlie stated into the dark night.

We were sitting on the porch rockers, listening to the locust and bullfrogs near the pond across the drive.

"Me too."

"Bo looks just like her."

"I know."

We fell silent once more, the only sound the creak of wood rubbing against wood as we rocked.

"I don't know how…"

He does not need to finish that statement. I knew exactly what he meant.

I said it to myself daily.

"You just do," I said simply.

With Charlie, few words were needed. He didn't need the four Ws; he took your words at face value. Bella was nothing like him. She was wild and free. You know what she was thinking and how she felt, she shared her every emotion and made you as happy as she always was. I can't remember a time she was sad, or perhaps I was pushing it out of my mind and choosing only to remember her how I wanted to; how I needed to.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. Looking at Bo … it hurts. I realize now; I would rather feel that jab to the heart and have Bo in my life than have neither of them. I'm sorry, Edward. I haven't been there for you either, so consumed with my own grief."

"She was your baby."

"She was." Emotion choking his voice.

"I'm sorry." I barely got out. "I'm so, so, sorry. If it wasn't for me … if she hadn't met me…" I couldn't go on; I felt like I couldn't breathe as I clutched my chest.

"No, Edward, don't do that to yourself." Charlie came closer, wrapping his arms around me, allowing me to cry into his chest like I never had before … even with my own father.

I cried for Bella, over fate bringing us together and having us falling in love. For marrying and giving Bella the seed that took her life. But as I cried, I would never, ever regret creating our Bo.

How could I hate the pregnancy, yet love my daughter?

"It wasn't your fault; there was nothing you could have done differently."

"I miss her so damn much." I forced out, the pain too sharp. I choked on air and tears, fearing I had forgotten how to breathe. Finally, my chest felt as if it was exploding as air filled my lungs, burning from the force.

There were sounds I hadn't realized coming from me; harrowing, painful sobs.

Charlie never let go, and I lost track of time as my grief let loose so solidly for the first time. I let everything inside me out until I could finally catch my breath, 'till the tears dried and my throat hurt too much to utter another sound or word, my body spent.

My mother appeared from the dark, red-rimmed eyes, handing me a glass of water.

"It was time." She whispered before disappearing into the dark once more.

I noticed Charlie's cheeks were tear stained as I gulped the cold water painfully.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated.

With a shake of his head, he held me close once more before standing and walking to his car.

"I'll be back soon, a couple of days, I promise." He called out before driving away.

My legs felt shaky as I walked into Bo's room, looking down at her sleeping form. I tucked the blanket around her stomach, letting a smile play on my lips before the quiver took over. Clutching the sheep that now held a blue stain in the shape of her mouth even after a washing, I brushed her forehead with my fingers, relishing the soft, warm feel my baby.

And there it was.

My baby.

In my bedroom, I stared at the bed. Bella's urn was still propped against her pillow, the pillowcase and sheets never washed, the entire side unmoved.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

I lifted her urn and placed it on the dresser across the room. Without second-guessing my decision, I grabbed the blankets, the sheets, and pillows, walking back out of the room. I threw it all into the washer and went back to my bedroom, an endless night spent on a naked mattress.

Alone.

Thank you Fran for making this better than it was, the support you and Bitterylady give continues to encourage me!