Authors Notes: Firstly, I wanna thank all the reviewers who offered their input for the Ranma/Resident Evil crossover fic - I really appreciate you all taking so much time and effort! Work proceeds apace, and I hope to have it released on April 3rd, Australia time!

I won't lie, reaction to the last chapter was a bit mixed, but for the most part, it was well received, so thank you all for trusting me with this.

I will admit to being a bit confused why several reviews asserted I was "making Nabiki and/or Shampoo bisexual", though. As I said in the endnotes, sharing Ranma as a husband and actively sleeping together are two separate things. Yes, Shampoo fits what TVTropes calls "If It's You, It's Okay", but that's referring how, in canon, she never shies away from hugging, flirting, or otherwise expressing her attraction to Ranma, regardless of which body Ranma is in at the time. And yes, Nabiki is slowly growing to have the confidence to do that same thing. It's kind of necessary for Ranma's fiancée to be able to accept that, sometimes, Ranma is going to be in female form, especially since I can't cure him this early in the fic. One of the big things holding Ranma and Akane back in early canon is that Akane recoils from Ranma's girl form, due to it being "perverse", and that in turn alienates Ranma by upsetting him - not because he likes being a girl, but because nobody likes to be rejected or to have affection for themselves be conditional. It doesn't mean the girl in question can't or doesn't prefer Ranma in male form, but treating both forms of Ranma the same is a way to convince him that her feelings for him are actually sincere and not superficial.

Also, since somebody pointed it out... it's an old Ranma 1/2 fic writer's tradition to use form-gender specific pronouns when referring to Ranma, simply because it helps make it easier to keep track of which body he's currently in without currently having to insert comments about tits and ass, which the anime/manga could do and a fanfic can't. My also using "fiancée" when Ranma is in female form is just an extension of that. As for the occasional use of "aquatransexual"... aside from it being literally descriptive, it's also a way to break up the monotony of "Ranma said" and "he said" - same reason why I keep using synonyms for "said".

And to the reviewers who kept saying that Kasumi speaks Chinese... did you guys miss the note that she was using a simple Chinese to Japanese translation book, as Nabiki did in the canon?

Jack Inqu: Thank you for saying you liked the ice cream scene! Nabiki, at least in the anime canon, does have a very serious sweet tooth (see "Pelvic Fortune Telling", where she singlehandedly consumes in one sitting a feast consisting of, at the least, a serve of pudding à la mode, a chocolate parfait, a serve of cheesecake, a strawberry tart and a slice of pumpkin pie). So I thought there was a nice bit of comedy and WAFF to be had over Nabiki treating Ranma's confession to having never eaten ice cream before as Serious Business. I really struggled with that section, and personally I'm still not 100% satisfied with it, but I'm glad to see somebody else took it in the spirit that I meant it!

SeerKing: Thanks for your kind words on the icecream scene too! Also... thank you for pointing out that glitch. Stupid FFN anti-spam programming strikes again...

Chapter 11: Mountain Storms over Nerima!

It was an odd thing for Ranma to look at Furinkan High as the gates loomed ahead of himself and actually take comfort from the sight. But then, after the morning he and Nabiki had experienced, the banality of school was actually a weird relief; a bastion of normalcy in a day that had been anything but!

Turning to face his fiancée, Ranma sighed. "I'm sorry about Shampoo, Nabiki."

"Don't start apologizing, Ranma - you have nothing to say you're sorry for," the middle Tendo gently reassured him.

"But it's my fault! She wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me!" Ranma protested, not quite understanding how Nabiki could take it in stride.

"If you're going to go that far, you might as well blame this whole mess on your father, for taking you to China in the first place. Personally, I find that far more appealing," Nabiki said with a conspiratory air and mischievous smile.

"But, seriously, Ranma? Do you know what the two scariest things of my recent life were?" she asked, stopping in the street and looking him squarely in the eyes.

Ranma meekly shook his head, without breaking eye contact.

"The first was when you got smashed into the wall fighting the Golden Pair. And the second? It was when I watched Shampoo chasing you off into the night, waving that sword of hers around like a mad executioner. Now, what do you suppose those two things have in common?" she asked rhetorically.

"...You thought I was gonna die?" Ranma humbly suggested, the realization striking him a lot harder than he'd anticipated.

"Bingo! I'm not saying I want to pick out a ring and set a date just yet, but I certainly don't want you dead!" Nabiki declared, poking Ranma in the forehead for emphasis. "If it saves your life, then I can live with being kissed by a girl. Frankly, it's a cheap price to pay."

"I can't believe Shampoo did that," Ranma admitted bashfully, rubbing his neck as he thought back on the moment.

"I can't believe your dad talked mine down by pointing out that this meant you and I were still hitched even in Shampoo's eyes. Honestly, daddy's priorities are all screwed up," Nabiki grizzled.

"Well, I guess that is part of why they're friends... still, we're here now, and Shampoo's back at the dojo, so we don't need to worry about her until we go home," Ranma said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Yeah... I won't lie; I could use a break from the crazy for a while," Nabiki admitted with a worn sigh; the last few days had not been good for her stress levels.

"Maybe we could go out again after school? Give this dating thing another try?" Ranma suggested hopefully.

"Well, third time's the charm," Nabiki agreed , but she was smiling as she said so. "That reminds me... you've been kissed by two girls now, Ranma," she pointed out.

"...Yes?" Ranma cautiously admitted, unsure of what Nabiki was getting at.

"So, I want to know... whose was better?" Nabiki asked sweetly, with a mischievous smirk playing on her lips.

"Yours," Ranma replied immediately .

"Wow, you didn't even hesitate!" Nabiki giggled, a faint blush dusting her cheeks despite her confident attitude.

"Should I have?" Ranma asked, the shell of confidence cracking to reveal a hint of uncertainty beneath.

"Well... I wouldn't have blamed you for being a little conflicted. Shampoo's got some pretty hot lips, as I should know," Nabiki smirked with a small eyebrow waggle.

"...Maybe," Ranma hedged, inexperienced but not stupid. "But I still think you're the better kisser. Although..."

"Yes?" Nabiki asked leadingly, equal parts intrigued and amused by Ranma's painfully obvious attempt to try and play her own game.

"Maybe I could have another? Just to be certain I'm right?" Ranma asked slyly.

"Hmm..." Nabiki hummed loudly, pursing her lips and tapping her chin in an exaggerated "thinker's posture". She coyly watched Ranma's reaction from the corner of her eye, squelching the urge to grin at his visible uncertainty. 'Poor Ranma... you're still a hundred years too early to try and play this game with me! But, I won't lie; it's kind of adorable to see you try... plus, I think we both deserve a little sugar after how things went this morning...'

Once Ranma started to sweat, Nabiki finally gave him her most winning grin. "I think we can steal in one kiss before class starts," she purred, spreading her arms wide. Those cursed butterflies made a return visit to her stomach as Ranma smiled in honest delight at her response, before he closed the gap between them and carefully lowered his lips to hers.

This kiss was different, both of them could tell. It wasn't like their first kiss, where Nabiki had tried to pour her emotions into Ranma like a scalding torrent. It wasn't even like their recent respective kisses with Shampoo, where they had felt their mouths being devoured by the rapacious passion of the Chinese Amazon.

No, this kiss was soft and gentle; fumbling a little, as their mutual inexperience showed, but an act of mutual tenderness and trust. It filled their hearts with warmth, sending a comforting glow seeping from their lips and enveloping them from the inside out, a sweetness that soothed the very soul.

Time slipped away from them, the world dwindling to just the two of them and the feel of their arms wrapped around each other.

But all good things must come to an end. Inevitably, the two broke the kiss, opening their eyes and staring into each other's souls, wearing what an observer would call matching half-dazed smiles.

"Wow... definitely better than Shampoo," Ranma chuckled more than a little breathlessly. 'Is that what a kiss is supposed to be like? Cuz I could do that again!'

"Flatterer... now, off with you; we have class, and you have another engagement," Nabiki giggled. '...But, seriously; wow! If I could bottle that, I'd be rich! ...Or my own best customer...'

Ranma blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Still smiling, Nabiki simply pointed past Ranma, to where a blue-and-black-clad figure was rapidly approaching.

"Ranma Saotome! I challenge you to a duel!"

Ranma twisted to face his self-proclaimed rival, a familiar confident smirk blossoming on his face. "You know what, Kuno? I think I'll take you up on that!" he declared, before launching himself at the kendo-practicing senior.

Nabiki watched as the two hurtled towards their clash, smirking with amusement. 'Boys have such simple pleasures,' she mused, even as she began making her way to class.

Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo...

Seated at the dining room table of a bunch of strangers who were, technically, her in-laws now, pen in hand and paper before her, Shampoo heaved a mournful sigh. "Not the most auspicious start to my married life," she grumbled to herself in the Joketsuzoku tribal dialect.

"All I wanted was an attractive and capable husband, a spouse who could inspire my own pursuit of warrior excellence. A co-wife was never supposed to be part of the deal!" she huffed in a fit of pique. "But... It could be worse. Besides, I owe her a lot; I just thought Ranma was shy, I did not realize I had been trying to kill the man I should have married back at Nyuchiezu! Stupid Jusenkyo... Maybe if I approach her with sufficient humility and self-abasement, Nabiki will deign to assist me in making it up to Ranma..."

"What is that strange Chinese girl muttering about, Saotome?" Soun Tendo asked, glancing up from his shogi board at what was in his mind the biggest threat to the 'joining of the schools' at present.

"Who cares, Tendo?" was Genma's brief yet 'eloquent' reply. "Gotcha!" he barked, slapping down a tile in a key position, making Soun squawk in protest and return his focus to the game lest Saotome steal another lead.

Ignoring the two old men, whom Shampoo had concluded were a pair of fools through their antics of earlier and her limited grasp of the Japanese tongue, the Chinese Amazon bent her attention to the task before her: writing a letter to her great-grandmother to explain what had happened.

'Great-Grandmother... forgive me, but I sincerely hope that you take your time in getting here. It will be hard enough to make up for my first impression without the testing that the law requires...' Shampoo thought to herself.

There was a reason that the law of shared marriages was rarely invoked, even more so than the Kiss of Marriage law itself. It took a special kind of man to keep up with multiple Joketsuzoku warriors, or for it to be considered beneficial to bring in a preexisting spouse in order to keep him happy.

As her family matriarch, it fell upon her great-grandmother to test Ranma and prove that he was worthy to invoke such a law... At least Nabiki was not a fighter, so she would be spared such trials.

It took Shampoo longer than she would be comfortable admitting to finally come up with what she felt was a decently concise letter. She went over it a third time, just to be certain she had covered everything, especially when it came to emphasizing that Ranma was justifiably her betrothed - had she been unwilling to administer the Kiss, she could have easily contested her technically second defeat, since it was, in effect, a fluke strike that had left her out cold - and the importance of the role Nabiki had played in preventing her from making a terrible mistake. Satisfied that she couldn't improve on the fruits of her efforts any further, she blew on it to be certain the ink was dried, and then folded it up into an envelope.

'Now, to post it! But... where would I find a mailbox? Maybe Kasumi knows?' Shampoo pondered.

It didn't take long to find her new "big sister-in-law". Kasumi was obviously the Tendo family's domestic; she was hanging out laundry in the backyard when Shampoo found her.

"Big sister Kasumi? Where Shampoo find mailbox?" Shampoo politely asked her as best her grasp of Japanese allowed. 'Stupid foreign language... why is it so easy for Mousse? Maybe Ranma and Nabiki will render me assistance in overcoming this limitation...'

"Oh, Shampoo? You need to mail a letter?" The eldest Tendo daughter asked with equal politeness; she didn't want to patronize their new guest, but thought it best to make sure and risk a moment of unintended rudeness.

"Is to Shampoo great-grandmother. Tell her that Shampoo get married," the Chinese Amazon explained. Then she stopped and thought about it for a moment. "Also, where Shampoo's airens go? Shampoo not see them long time."

Kasumi's brow furrowed gently as she visibly considered Shampoo's questions. "Ranma and Nabiki? They went to school... would you like to know the way? They might enjoy having you visit them during lunch," she suggested; at the very least, it'd get Shampoo out and not pouting around the house.

Shampoo beamed with delight at Kasumi's idea. "That be too-too good! You tell Shampoo, please?"

In fact, Kasumi did more than tell Shampoo; she actually got a pen and paper and drew Shampoo a list of directions, once the last of her laundry had been hung out to dry. Shampoo thanked her new in-law, and eagerly hopped over the roof to begin exploring Nerima.

'Such a sweet girl... I would almost think that she actually did not mind my being here... I must do something nice for her, as soon as possible...' the Chinese Amazon noted to herself as she left.

Lunch time, Furinkan High...

Hopping onto the wall separating the grounds of Furinkan High from the outer world, Shampoo took in the extensive structure and the teeming teens with an inquisitive gaze. 'It is all so different here than it was in the village,' she mused to herself. 'But, this is not helping me... onward!'

The Chinese Amazon kicked off of the walls and landed neatly on the grounds of Furinkan, before setting off to explore. Whilst her exotic hair color and beauty attracted many inquisitive gazes, the time she'd chosen to arrive actually worked to her advantage; most of the students were more concerned with enjoying their lunches or squeezing in what socialization they could before class started.

'Now, where to begin... huh? What is that?' Shampoo pricked up as she faintly heard something very familiar to her; the sounds of combat. Masculine battle cries and the distant echo of blows being traded. She grinned excitedly, and took off in the direction of the sounds. 'That must be Ranma! Ooh, maybe I'll get to see him fighting!'

Unfortunately, luck was not with Shampoo that day. Instead of her husband, she found herself watching as one youth - a tall, handsome brunette boy - wielding a wooden sword did battle with a small gaggle of similarly armed youths. Although... calling it "battle" was perhaps a stretch too far. The lone youth was clearly the superior fighter , as he mowed through the ranks of his opponents like a farmer scything through rice.

Shampoo watched the proceedings with an appreciative eye; though their fundamental styles were different, she could appreciate the efforts of another swordsman, and she nodded critically as the strange youth devastated his foes. 'Not bad... I have seen better swordsplay in the village, but not bad at all. Handsome, too. He might make a good catch, if I wasn't already engaged,' she mused.

As the last of the lesser swordsmen fell in a semiconscious heap at his feet, the undefeated champion let out a growl of frustration. "Bah! You're all slacking off! Not one of you can help challenge me the way I need!" he grumbled.

Shampoo took this as an opportunity to get closer. 'Maybe he knows Ranma? Strong fighters tend to know each other, right?' she considered. Out loud, she instead said, "Impressive! You too-too strong swordsman!"

The youth turned to face her, a brief expression of surprise quickly replaced by one of smug satisfaction. "But of course! Not for nothing do my peers know Tatewaki Kuno as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" he bragged. "But tell me, fair maiden; what brings you to me? Perhaps you seek a date?" he suggested with a smirk.

"Nabiki Tendo and Ranma Saotome. You know them?" Shampoo asked flatly. 'And there's the catch... should have known he had some kind of drawback...'

At her words, Kuno wilted momentarily, but swiftly regained his composure. "Nabiki Tendo? You will probably find her in room 2-E. I don't know where Ranma Saotome goes," he told her perfunctory .

"Thank you!" Shampoo chirped happily. 'That makes things much better!' she cheered internally. She was about to set off, then she paused for a moment's thought. 'Hmm... he did help me out... one good turn deserves another...' Turning back to Kuno, she said, "You want tip? One swordsman to another?"

"Eh? Forgive me, fair one, but what would a lady like yourself know of swordsplay?" Kuno responded, plainly scoffing at the offer despite an attempt to sound polite.

Throwing a deadpan look at the kendoist, Shampoo withdrew her dao from its sheath within a ki pocket and twirled it around her hand, turning it into a circular blur of razor edges before, in a single movement, halting the spin by snatching its handle and making a lazy-seeming backstroke at a nearby tree... Which promptly slid off of its trunk and collapsed on the ground, cut cleanly in two.

Kuno blinked at the display, then put on a conciliatory smile that looked like it pained him slightly to make. "My apologies, my lady, but I did not recognize you for one who practiced the art... you were saying?"

"You strong martial artist, but if want to get better? Then work on strength train, speed train. Push self to go faster and hit harder. Also? You master forms already. Is good. But real fight no is same as dojo. Forms only get you so far," Shampoo advised him. Then, without waiting for Kuno's reaction, she turned and headed towards what was obviously the school building, locked onto her target.

In her wake, one of Furinkan's kendo club members sneered disdainfully. "Some tip! Stupid foreign bimbo..."

Without looking, Kuno lazily swatted the speaker atop the head with a backhanded stroke of his bokken. "At least she offered sincere advice! Something that cannot be said about you, Gokkun," he reprimanded his underling.

Then he scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Strength training... yes... that Hibiki boy, he offered Saotome quite the challenge, and his umbrella was clearly weighted... there is merit to her words..." he mused. "As for the forms... I wonder... could there be truth to what she spake...?"

In Room 2-E...

"So...? C'mon, Nabiki; spill it! What did you and your pet stallion do on your date?" Ryonami wheedled, a lecherous grin on the brunette's face as she tried to coax the juicy details from her friend.

"A lady never kisses and tells, Ryonami," Nabiki primly chastised her, the smug smirk on her lips and her flippant tone belying her words.

"A lady doesn't kiss her boyfriend's brains out in front of a live audience, but that didn't stop you," Ryonami quipped back. "C'mon, spill!"

"Leave her alone, Ryonami - it's personal!" Kikuko protested, the copper-mopped teen's cheeks flushed red at Ryonami's forthright antics.

"Aw, as if you don't want to know too, Kikuko," Ryonami teased.

"Well, if you ladies really must know," Nabiki drawled, playacting up the concession she was making. "There's not really much to say. All we did was go to an icecream parlor... can you believe Ranma's father is so much of a jerk that he's never let Ranma have icecream in his life?! I know!" she added once her friends reacted with appropriately scandalized gasps of shock. "Unfortunately, things... kind of got a little crazy, and the date ended up as a bust."

"Again? That's so cruel," Kikuko mourned.

"What happened, Nabiki?" Ryonami asked, her ears pricking at the potential for gossip.

"There's nothing really to talk about, it's all in the past, and won't be coming up again," Nabiki replied.

And with that perfect cue, the doors to the classroom suddenly exploded as something slammed into them so hard that they swung backwards with enough velocity to tear their hinges out of the door, leaving them as a pile of wreckage strewn on the floor. "Nabiki Tendo! Is you here?" cried an unfamiliar feminine voice.

"Oh, no..." Nabiki moaned, wilting in her seat as recognition dawned on her.

Kikuko and Ryonami simply stared dumbstruck at the stranger who had literally burst onto the scene - as did the rest of class 2-E, for that matter. It wasn't every day that their classroom was visited by a cute Chinese girl with a body to die for and a long, flowing mane of blue-purple hair. Nor was it every day that their doors were smashed into kindling, for that matter. Add the two together, and it was something that the seniors would be talking about for a while. The stranger's eyes scanned the room, and then her face lit up in a smile that had virtually all of the boys present (as well as a few of the girls, not that they would admit it) swooning in joy at the thought of it being aimed at them.

"Nihao, airen!" the strange girl chirped, skipping through the open doors and straight over to... Nabiki Tendo?! As one, the students gawked at the sight - who was this girl, and what the heck could somebody like her want with Nabiki, of all people?!

"Shampoo... what are you doing here?" Nabiki groaned in exasperation.

The wounded pout that the girl in question adopted at the words of Furinkan's greatest hustler and black marketeer tugged at the heartstrings of the resident white knights... and some of the "I'll act nice if it'll get me laid" knights, too. "Shampoo come to see new wife, make sure Nabiki okay! Where Ranma?"

"He's probably in his homeroom - class 1-F. Why don't you go and hang out with him?" Nabiki tersely suggested.

"Shampoo go! But, want to thank Nabiki again. Maybe we make nice too, soon?" Shampoo suggested, her earnest expression not changing an iota.

Before Nabiki could even begin to reply to that lewd-sounding suggestion, she found herself enfolded in a mighty hug from her unwanted new fiancée... which of course resulted in her being smothered in Shampoo's bosom and thusly confirming firsthand that the Chinese Amazon really was as stacked as she looked. 'What is in the water in that part of China...?' a stray part of her brain commented acerbically, even as the rest of her was divided up between trying to breath and blushing fit to fry an egg on her forehead at being hugged like this in front of her classmates.

"Bai-bai, airen! Shampoo see you after school!" the bubbly Chinese Amazon chirped, before releasing her victim and bouncing off in pursuit of Ranma.

Kikuko and Ryonami watched her go, then turned tentatively to their friend and technically boss. "Um... Nabiki? Is there something you want to tell us?" Kikuko hesitantly asked.

Nabiki promptly did something they hadn't seen her do since they'd all been in Junior High together, planting her face squarely into the cold, unwelcoming surface of her desk.

And in Room 1-F...

Akane took a deep breath, gritted her teeth, and did what was, in some ways, the hardest thing that she'd done that year. "Ranma? I'm sorry about last night... I know, I should have listened to what Nabiki said, but it was just so impossible, I really couldn't believe it," she apologetically explained to him.

Her future brother-in-law simply grunted in acknowledgement, not even looking up from where he was devouring the bento that Kasumi had prepared that morning despite the chaos.

Akane glared at Ranma, feeling a vein tick in her forehead as she clenched her fists tight. "Oh, come on! Who could have possibly predicted somebody like Shampoo was actually for real?!" she cried a touch plaintively.

Which was naturally when the classroom doors exploded. Akane let out a shriek of shock and instinctively twisted into a guard posture, whilst the other students yelped and cowered or dove for cover.

"Ranma! Where he?"

The Saotome heir promptly choked on a mouthful. "Sh-sh-Shampoo!" he gasped in shock. 'Don't tell me she's gone back to bloodthirsty again!?'

Almost as soon as he'd formed the thought, Shampoo spotted Ranma and the biggest smile split her face. "Ranma airen!" she squealed in glee, before diving for him with such speed that, to the untrained students of room 1-F, she seemed to teleport.

Ranma himself, caught off guard, couldn't even try to dodge as she tackled him out of his chair with a mighty glomp, throwing him to the floor in a passionate embrace that not-so-coincidentally left his face shoved into her bosom. "Nihao, airen! Shampoo looking for you!" she chirped merrily, nuzzling in close.

"Ack! C'mon, Shampoo, not in public!" Ranma protested, weakly it must be said. Had Nabiki not 'okayed' this, he might have more stridently refused but as of now he at least wished Shampoo could save this for private...and more thorough ground rules.

By this point, the other students were peeking out of hiding, and of course they had their opinions on what they were seeing.

"Whoa, who is she?! She's absolutely smoking hot!"

"And why's she hanging all over Saotome?"

"You think he ditched Nabiki for her?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"Shut yer mouths!" Ranma snapped immediately, throwing a glare at whichever foolish soul had been so unwise as to slander his fiancée within his hearing.

Unnoticed by Ranma, Shampoo winced at this little reminder that she placed distinctly second in his list of affections. 'But perhaps this is fortuitous... a little reminder that I am not demanding he abandon her may help my case...' she mused to herself.

"That right, Ranma ditch nobody! Shampoo sharing Ranma!" the Chinese Amazon boasted.

It was the absolute horror in Ranma's eyes that made Shampoo realize that maybe that hadn't been such a smart thing to say, before the whole classroom erupted into chaos.

She actually found herself forced to release her new husband and step back as the other students swarmed over Ranma, shouting a mixture of encouragement, questions and curses.

Taking stock of the mess, Shampoo mentally cursed herself. 'Great... another misstep. What else could go wrong?' Of course, Murphy loves a challenge.

"Haven't you caused enough trouble already? What are you even doing here, Shampoo?" Akane demanded angrily, none of the 'well-wishers' wanting to risk getting in her way.

The Chinese Amazon bristled at the youngest Tendo's tone. Whilst she knew that a certain amount of concession was required given her disruptive first impression, Shampoo had no intention of being anyone's doormat! "Shampoo come to see husband!" she snapped back.

"Get it through your head! He's not your husband!" Akane barked, her body hunching up in an effort to intimidate the foreign girl.

"Yes he is! Ever since he beat Shampoo in China!" Was the prompt riposte, said firmly if heatedly.

"Wait, what?! That counts?!" Ranma interjected incredulously; he really needed to get a rulebook or something for their laws so he stopped getting blind-sided by these revelations.

"Yes," Shampoo replied immediately, luckily nobody noticed that it was a bit quicker than it should have been. 'He doesn't need to know that there is some ambiguity about that... I mean, they would most likely rule that it counted, so why confuse the issue?'

"Oh, and that justifies you showing up and making a mess out of everything?" Akane demanded. It would be nice to say that her motivation was making amends for endangering Ranma the previous evening. It would even be true. But, sadly, Akane was getting a little caught up in her own indignation...

"Shampoo sorry for what she do! That why Shampoo here; make nice-nice with husband! You want fight, Akane? Sister or no, Shampoo nobody's doormat!" the Chinese Amazon scowled.

"I am not your sister!" Akane snapped, now angered at the presumption and what it implied.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on there, Akane! You don't want to pick a fight with Shampoo!" Ranma interjected, reaching out to place a hand on Akane's shoulder in an instinctive effort to hold her back.

"Butt out, Ranma!" Akane barked, instinctively backhanding him with all her might.

Caught off-guard by this sudden attack, Ranma's reflexes failed him and instead he found himself flying through the air and right out a window!

"Airen!" Shampoo screamed in shock, frozen in place for a critical second before she kickstarted her brain back into gear and leapt for the window. "Is you okay?!" she cried, thrusting her head out the window, afraid of what she might see... only to slump in relief as she saw Ranma squatting unharmed upon a convenient treebranch about two storeys down, shaking his head to clear his senses.

"Airen? You okay?" she asked again, this time in a calmer tone.

Ranma simply touched his already red and swollen cheek, hissing in pain. 'She hit me! I was trying to help her, and she actually hit me!' Shock and anger welled up within him like oil from a deep well, and he glowered up at Shampoo. "I'm fine...just... don't hurt her too badly, alright?" he asked, his sense of generosity clashing with his rage and straining his moral fibre.

"No worry, airen. Shampoo not hurt Akane... too badly. But little sister needs a spanking," Shampoo growled, feeling the rush of warmth as the faintest hint of a battle aura flickered to life around her head. She turned to face her most distinctly annoying new sister-in-law, a menacing sneer on her face.

"Bring it on, China girl!" Akane spat defiantly, already bringing her hands up into a fighting stance. Without the slightest hesitance, she charged her Chinese tormentor, intent on avenging the suffering and shame that Shampoo had inflicted upon her sister!

'Ranma beat her twice already; I know I can win!' she assured herself.

...Unfortunately, Akane had made a critical error with her logic. Yes, Shampoo had lost to Ranma. But then, so had several other skilled martial artists of Akane's acquaintance, including both of the Kuno sibles, Ryoga Hibiki, and even Akane herself. "Beatable by Ranma Saotome" was a fairly wide spectrum of martial arts ability, one that didn't necessarily correlate to "beatable by Akane Tendo". Something she found herself reminded of when Shampoo proceeded to dodge every single punch, kick, chop and sweep that the youngest Tendo threw at her.

"Damnit! C'mon, fight me for real!' Akane protested, assuming that if Shampoo stopped dancing around she would be able to land a hit.

"Sloppy, sister. You too-too slow," Shampoo mockingly observed, exaggerating her dodges to illustrate just how easy it was.

"Rargh! I'll show you slow!" Akane spat, putting everything she had into the mother of all haymakers!

...Only for history to repeat itself as Shampoo glided around the attack as if it were moving in slow motion, slipping behind Akane faster than the Tendo dojo's heir could react. An icy chill ran down her spine... mere microseconds before Shampoo's open palm connected with her rump with sufficient force to elicit a thunderous clap that echoed through the classroom! Akane literally leapt into the air in shock and pain, barely managing to salvage some dignity by biting down the instinctive squall of protest at being spanked before it could escape her.

"Now we even, sister! You hit Ranma again, Shampoo hit you!" the Chinese Amazon warned, smirking in self-satisfaction as Akane instinctively clutched her bruised and aching posterior.

"Y-you, you... cheater!" Akane protested, cheeks burning red with a mixture of rage and embarrassment at what had been done to her. It didn't help that she spotted Ranma crouching in the open window out of the corner of her eye, and she realized he'd leapt back up just in time to see her humiliation.

"Shampoo not need to cheat to punish Akane," her tormentor scoffed at the idea she's sink that low against an opponent.

The end of lunch period bell rang at that moment, and Akane took some small pleasure as her backwoods assailant visibly started at the sound.

"Aiyah! What noise?" Shampoo asked, looking all around in confusion.

"It means class is about to start, Shampoo, so you can't be here. You'll get in trouble if the teachers catch you," Ranma explained patiently.

The Chinese Amazon expression fell, annoyed that Akane's interruptions had ruined the moment she'd hope to get with Ranma. "Okay, airen, Shampoo go... see you after class?" she suggested hopefully, visibly perking up as the thought struck her.

"I... guess...?" Ranma hesitantly replied.

Shampoo rewarded him with a beatific smile that lit up her face. "Is date, then! Bai-bai, airen!" she chirped, before lunging at Ranma in another high-speed tackle-hug.

She glomped onto him good and hard, giving him the tightest embrace he'd ever had (not that Ranma had much of a history of being hugged, admittedly), before she bounded away through the shattered remnants of the door that she'd used to enter the classroom.

Ranma watched her go, and heaved a sigh of relief. 'What am I going to do about this mess?' he lamented.

After school...

"Yo, Nabiki!"

Nabiki Tendo looked up and smiled faintly as she saw her fiancé approaching, waving his hand and smiling. "Ah; perfect timing, Ranma; walk me home?" she suggested hopefully.

"Sure!" he replied with a grin. Once he'd caught up to her, the two of them started off, wending their way through the crowds of students caught up in their post-school plans.

"So... Shampoo paid me a visit at lunch today," Ranma hesitantly began.

"I know. She visited me first," Nabiki commiserated.

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you?!" Ranma immediately interjected, his eyes immediately roaming over Nabiki's body in order to check her for potential harm.

Nabiki blinked, surprised by his reaction, but then smiled at his concern. "What? No, nothing like that! She just wanted to know where you were... she did hug me in front of the whole class, though," she added as an afterthought.

"Really? I'm... wow, I never thought she'd do that," Ranma said with a small huff of pleased bemusement.

"I suppose it could have been worse. Did you really think she'd hurt me?" Nabiki asked, a touch concerned that this 'dual marriage' with Shampoo might be more dangerous than she first though.

"She did chase me from China trying to kill me... you can't really blame me for being cautious," Ranma defended himself.

'Ah, so just a weee bit...sword shy.' Nabiki thought with a touch of relief

"Not at all. I'm just impressed you're still being cautious about her. Lot of guys wouldn't be nervous about a girl like her," Nabiki smirked, miming an outline in the air about her cleavage to make it clear what she was insinuating.

Ranma blushed and averted his, which only deepened Nabiki's amusement. "I don't fall for dumb stuff like that... she did spill the beans about this stupid threesome marriage thing of hers to my class, though."

"Don't worry about it, Ranma; she did the same in front of my classmates too," Nabiki sighed. "Is that all that happened?"

"Well... she did spank Akane," Ranma uncomfortably admitted.

"She did what?" Nabiki asked, giving Ranma an icily questioning look.

"In fairness, she did it only after Akane backhanded me out of the window," her fiancé explained, unsure of why but compelled to be fair.

"She did what?! But your classroom's on the third floor!" an appalled Nabiki pointed out.

"Yeah... Shampoo did kinda say that's why she felt Akane needed a spanking," Ranma drawled. He did his best to keep from smirking as he did; he knew it'd been an accident, and it was important to Nabiki, but still, the look on Akane's face at getting slapped on the ass like a naughty little kid would be giving him pleasant dreams for a while...

Forcing that thought away, he sighed, playing it up just a little. "I swear, I don't know what's going through her head," he confessed, but before Nabiki could ask if he meant Akane or Shampoo, they were interrupted again by a familiar voice.

"Nihao, airens!" a familiar feminine voice suddenly rang out.

"Speak of the oni,' Nabiki muttered to Ranma ruefully.

Both teens still put on neutral expressions as Shampoo jogged up to them, smiling in delight and waving a hand to attract their attention. "Shampoo waiting for you! What we do now?"

"We were going to go and just explore Nerima, hang out... you know, normal couple things?" Nabiki replied, stressing the words that she hoped would emphasize that she intended this not-quite-a-date to be just her and Ranma.

"Sound good! Shampoo so new here... this place too-too-strange. Airens help Shampoo learn streets?" the Chinese Amazon asked eagerly, giving her two unwilling spouses her best "cutely big-eyed, sweet-looking hopeful smile" expression complete with fluttering lashes. 'Please, say yes! This marriage will be hard enough if we do not start trying to connect with each other...'

Ranma gritted his teeth. 'Damn it, why do I suck so much at saying no to cute girls?' he lamented in the privacy of his own head. He cast a desperate look at his real fiancée, who looked between them and sighed in open defeat. "Alright... I suppose that you can come along too."

"Yay! Shampoo so happy!" she squealed, literally bouncing up and down joyfully with her hands clasped in glee. Then she stopped and smiled at them expectantly. "So, where we go?"

Some time later...

To Nabiki's relief, playing tour guide for Shampoo was not as painful as she had anticipated. Shampoo stuck close to the pair of them, but she didn't get touchy feely. And whilst it was obviously the Chinese girl who was getting the bulk of the benefit from being introduced to the Nerima district, Ranma was also finding this interesting as well.

Apart from a handful of exceptions, he hadn't actually had the chance to really explore his new residence outside of the route between the Tendo Dojo and Furinkan High.

In fact, if you twisted Nabiki's arm, she would have admitted that it was actually kind of fun - and giving her a few ideas for future dates with Ranma.

That arcade they'd just passed by had actually looked sort of fun, even though she wasn't normally the kind of girl to waste spare yen on video-games and pachinko machines.

"Airens? What is funny red and white building?" Shampoo suddenly interjected.

"Hm?" Ranma instinctively followed the Chinese girl's pointing finger. "That's a Kentucky Fried Chicken, Shampoo. It's a sort of restaurant from America. They sell junk food."

"Junk... food?" Shampoo repeated, brow furrowed as she sounded the words out. "Shampoo no understand."

"It's, ah... food that you can't eat too much of it too often, or you'll get fat," Ranma explained, a little hesitantly.

"Then why eat it?" Shampoo asked, looking even more puzzled.

"Because it tastes way better than it should," Nabiki chimed in.

"Is good?" Shampoo repeated now looking much more interested.

"People really like it. It's practically a tradition to eat the stuff on Christmas, too," Nabiki explained.

"Yeah... for me and pop, it was our only real Christmas tradition," Ranma interjected. He was looking over at the restaurant with a wistful smile. "No matter what, we always had a meal at KFC on Christmas day. It was pops' idea of a present," he explained.

Nabiki looked from her wistful fiancé to the intrigued Shampoo and back again, and then sighed softly in resignation. 'Oh, what am I going to do with you both? Still, it's been awhile since I treated myself...' She conceded. "Alright, alright, we'll stop and have some, okay?"

"You mean it, Nabiki?" Ranma asked excitedly, giving Nabiki a happy smile that made her treacherous heart skip a beat and forced her to smile back.

Shampoo just beamed happily, clearly excited by the chance to spend more time in close proximity with the two of them.

"But you're paying for your own share," Nabiki added firmly. "I'm not a charity," she insisted, trying to wipe the grin off of her face as she said so.

"Oh, sure, Nabiki, I understand," Ranma responded. He was doing even worse at hiding his smile than Nabiki was, and the tone of his voice made it clear he was playing along with her attitude.

Minutes later, the trio had used their pooled funds to buy three large cups of Coca-Cola and a 21-piece bucket, with a mixture of both original recipe and hot & spicy at Ranma's behest, before taking a seat at one of the restaurant's tables.

Shampoo was holding her first piece, an original recipe drumstick, and staring at it inquisitively, turning it over and over in her fingertips like it was truly the most fascinating thing that she'd ever seen, to the palpable amusement of her dinner-mates.

"Go on, give it a try. It won't bite," Ranma urged her on, having fun with seeing his once-tormentor in such uncertainty.

Shampoo delicately sniffed it, and then then gave it a cautious lick, a sight that made Nabiki snicker. The Chinese Amazon smacked her lips, clearly intrigued, and then finally gave her piece a bite.

At once her eyes lit up in shock and she swooned, placing a hand on her cheek (and unwittingly smearing grease on her skin). "Wow! Is so good!" she chirped, before ravenously attacking the remaining meat.

"Civilization has its advantages," Nabiki quipped, grinning at the Chinese Amazon's child-like enthusiasm.

"Joketsuzoku plenty civilized!" Shampoo rebutted with a cute frown.

"Just not have strange outsider food like this," she conceded, sucking the last smears of grease and crumbs from her fingers. She reached for a second piece and began chewing on it.

"And being forced to marry a guy just because he beat you in a fight is civilized? What if Ranma had turned out to be some kind of cruel brute?" Nabiki shot back.

"Hey!" an indignant Ranma protested from where he was mangling a hot & spicy thigh.

"There rules about that. If husband is bad, Chinese Amazon can get divorced," Shampoo replied calmly. "But airen Ranma is good man. Shampoo can tell!"

"How's that?" Nabiki asked inquisitively. 'Maybe there's a way we can persuade her to drop this crazy threesome scheme...'

"Simple! Ranma never hurt Shampoo once, even when Shampoo chase in China. Ranma better than Shampoo. Could stop Shampoo permanently. Not even need kill Shampoo - could just cripple Shampoo. But always, Ranma try to avoid hurt Shampoo. Him have too-too good heart. Make wonderful husband," Shampoo announced proudly, giving Ranma a look of appreciative affection.

Nabiki cast a sidelong glance at Ranma, who was blushing in embarrassment. "Well, I can't fault you on taste," she admitted.

"Shampoo have excellent taste," the Chinese Amazon bragged, before snatching a hot & spicy piece right from under Ranma's nose and taking a bite. "Ooh, this one crunchy," she noted with glee... before the unexpected heat of her new meal registered and her eyes went wide. "Whoo! Spicy too," she noted, although to her credit she didn't seem to be handling it too poorly.

As the trio sat and ate, they had no idea that, in time, they would look back on this as when the first tentative step towards peace between them was being taken...

Late that evening...

Shampoo sighed mournfully, swishing her hand through the steamy hot water of her bath. Whilst hardly an unknown back in the village, she had to admit, it was nice not to have to build a fire or run a generator beforehand, since electricity was prioritized, a necessity in a region where the lines were often unreliable. But she had things other than bathing weighing on her mind.

'So much distrust... they will not even let me sleep with my husband! I already told them I would share him with Nabiki, so why all the fuss? Forcing me to sleep in an entirely separate room... it is not natural! ...Then again, Nabiki said that she herself does not sleep with Ranma... these Japanese are strange people...'

She hugged herself, slumping so that her chin dipped into the water. 'I know I cannot expect miracles, but, still, I had hoped for a slightly improved reception...'

The sound of somebody fiddling with the door made Shampoo perk up, curiosity prompting her to twist about in the bath to face the door. Communal bathing was far from unheard of amongst the Joketsuzoku, but it was mostly reserved for family, close friends and lovers. 'Maybe I was thinking too soon?' Shampoo mused.

Her eyes widened as her husband strode through the door, only a deceptively tiny towel about his waist keeping him from being totally naked. 'Ohhh... my...' Slowly, her head bobbed up and down as she drank in every glorious naked inch of muscle. 'Thank you, great spirits...'

Sadly, Ranma did not seem so happy to see her already sitting in the bath. "Sh-Shampoo!" he screamed, recoiling in what seemed to be palpable fear to Shampoo.

"Nihao, airen! You come bathe with Shampoo?" she asked excitedly, standing up in the tub. 'Oh, please say yes! We are engaged; spouses bathe together!'

Instead, Ranma literally turned tail and fled the way he came, shouting over his shoulder, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-I didn't see anything I didn't know you were in there!"

"But airen! Shampoo not mind!" the Chinese Amazon protested plaintively, only to be drowned out by the sound of the bathroom door to the rest of the house slamming shut.

"...Aw, phooey," Shampoo mumbled, wilting back down into the steamy hot water again. She shuffled around and deliberately turned her back to the door, giving a little growl as she let the heat soak away her now spoiled mood.

This is going to be tougher than I thought She grumped mentally, now doubly hopeful that her grandmother would take her time. Shampoo would need everything she could get.

Early the next morning...

Shampoo sprang awake, honed instincts compelling her to rise as noises reached her sensitive ear - familiar noises at that; the sounds of combat.

She blinked rapidly, adjusting to the darkness around her, until she realized she was all alone in a room that she initially didn't recognize. The memory quickly flooded back, but was dismissed as she went to the window and flung it open to try and track down what had woken her up.

She stretched and then smiled as she realized that her husband was currently battling her father-in-law in the garden, her grin taking on a savage edge; despite their new familial ties, she still owed Genma Saotome a debt of pain and blood for his role in making her life so much more complicated... and she was in the mood to collect.

Springing up onto the sill, she launched herself into the air, descending on the oblivious Genma like a diving hawk. "Nihao!" she cried, grinning wickedly as she dropped like a stone, perfectly targeted to ensure that when Genma instinctively glanced up in shock, her bare foot slammed into his face and sent him rolling across the grass.

To Genma's credit, and Shampoo's own surprise, he quickly arrested his tumble and used his own momentum to propel himself back to his feet, taking up a defensive stance. Ranma himself eyed Shampoo cautiously, but she made no attempt to attack him - aside from the fact that she knew Ranma was her superior in martial arts for now, she was far more interested in breaking down the wall between them. Beating Genma senseless? Well that was a bonus.

Trusting Ranma would understand her intentions, Shampoo deliberately left herself open to him as she launched herself at Genma, unleashing a flurry of strikes with both fists and feet. Surprisingly, Genma actually dodged or deflected each of her attacks, even going so far as to catch her by the leg and pull on it, turning her own momentum against Shampoo in order to yank her off of her feet and swing her around before sending her flying over the grass, stopping only when she hit the wall.

The Chinese Amazon shook her head, trying to force her senses to reboot. 'Not bad! Martial arts skill must definitely run in the family... I did not know he had it in him!' she idly mused to herself in that brief moment between dazedness and full cognition. Springing to her feet, she launched herself back at Genma, who was currently fending off an assault from his son and thus leaving himself vulnerable to a second assailant.

Genma put up a valiant effort, but with both teens ganging up on him, it was inevitable that Genma alone took a trip into the koi pond before breakfast that day. As the man-turned-panda rose sullenly from the murky waters, Shampoo beamed proudly at Ranma.

'See, darling? I may not be your equal yet, but I am still a strong martial artist! Recognize that we share the bond of combat,' she thought to herself. When Ranma actually smiled back, however faintly, and gave her a tiny nod of respect, Shampoo preened with delight, biting back the urge to squeal in glee at this glimpse of light at the end of her long, dark tunnel.

Breakfast went fairly normally, with Shampoo pointedly seating herself at Ranma's side, but opposite to Nabiki; she would have happily sat in between to be closer to both of them, but she figured that they wouldn't take that gesture the way that she meant it. Once the meal was over, Ranma and Nabiki left for school, along with Akane... leaving Shampoo all alone again.

She tried to be a good sport about it. She helped Kasumi clean up what was left over from breakfast - and cast a stink-eye at Soun & Genma for refusing to offer help in the same way, who ignored her and instead played a game of shogi before leaving on their own mysterious errands - and then she parked herself in front of the television, hoping to at least benefit from improving her Japanese skills.

That helped to pass the time for a while, but Shampoo had never been the biggest television fan, unlike some of the other young Joketsuzoku. When her idle channel-surfing brought her onto a cooking show, however, she perked up. 'How fortuitous! What is that old saying about winning hearts through stomachs? At the very least, it is superior to sitting around here all day!'

"Big sister Kasumi?" Shampoo asked, twisting around to look at the eldest Tendo daughter.

"Yes, Shampoo? What is it?" she replied.

"Shampoo want make too-too delicious dinner for airens Ranma and Nabiki tonight! Can Shampoo do?"

Kasumi blinked. 'She can cook? I never even thought about that...' The Tendos' surrogate matriarch mused. "Well, that sounds nice. What were you thinking of making?" she politely inquired.

"Shampoo not sure yet. Know many delicious recipes! Was thinking Shampoo go to market, see what available?" the Chinese Amazon suggested.

Kasumi thought it over. 'Well, she does seem sincere, and she, Nabiki and Ranma do need to get to know each other better... plus, Chinese food would be a special treat...' Mind made up, she nodded. "Alright then, Shampoo. Let me just get you some money... do you need me to show you to the market?" she asked.

Shampoo shook her head. "Thank you, big sister, but airens show Shampoo around yesterday! Shampoo be alright."

"Well, if you're sure," Kasumi acquiesced, before getting up to go and dip into the week's shopping allowance. Once she returned and handed the money over, Shampoo shot up, bowed in thanks to Kasumi, and then took off like a rocket, hopping over the property fence and sprinting off in the direction of the market.

Admittedly, Shampoo really hadn't seen all that much of Nerima so far; even Nabiki's impromptu tour-guide session yesterday hadn't done much more than show the Chinese Amazon what lay within a small radius between the Tendo Dojo and Furinkan High. But still, the market was definitely her favorite place in Nerima so far.

In many ways, it reminded her of the annual intertribal markets back home, when different tribes from the Byankalas came together to sell and trade with each other. Her great-grandmother had always touted it as promoting stronger ties between the oft-fractious peoples of the region. To Shampoo, it'd been an excuse to party and have fun.

Not having a clear meal plan at the moment, Shampoo simply began to drift around the market, taking in what was available and considering her options. Unfortunately, simply blending into the background wasn't really feasible for somebody who was both an attractive young woman and crowned with a flowing mane of blue-purple hair. Eyes followed her wherever she went, some disapproving, others very interested indeed...

"Whoo-hoo! Hey, baby, you are on fire!" Whooped a male voice from behind the Chinese Amazon.

Shampoo blinked and turned to face the source of the obnoxious voice that had just called out to her. "Pardon?" she asked, trying to be diplomatic.

"Whoa, mama, she's stacked! Hey, cutie, why don'tcha come over 'ere an' have some fun with us, eh?" A second male called out to her.

Shampoo simply stared at her... "suitors"; a gaggle of about half a dozen Japanese youths, squatting in an alley, and dressed like they had literally made a checklist of the stereotypical Japanese delinquent garb. "Shampoo not interested," she replied coldly.

"Whoo! Hot an' dumb! The best possible combination," cackled one of the thugs, a moon-faced teen wearing a surgical mask with a bullseye symbol sloppily sketched on it.

"Ah, shaddup, Ohta!" jeered the thug's apparent leader, standing out with his ridiculous blond-dyed battering ram pompadour hairstyle and several drawn-on scars on his cheeks. "She's a smart girl who knows better than to make Awesome Adachi mad! Ain't that right, toots?" he leered, flashing her a suave wink.

"Not if Shampoo drunk and dead," the Chinese Amazon declared flatly.

"You leave Shampoo alone, and Shampoo not hurt you," she added in warning.

The delinquents burst out laughing. "A chick? Hurt us? Yeah, right!" they jeered.

Shampoo sighed, and then cracked her knuckles, remembering past encounters with similar youths in cities both elsewhere in Japan and back in China. "Shampoo try to be nice..." she complained... before launching herself at the delinquents.

It was over in seconds. Far quicker than it took to say it, Shampoo had flattened all six of them in a storm of precisely aimed strikes, each left slumped in a moaning heap on the ground. "Next time Shampoo say leave Shampoo alone, you listen!" she spat, before turning her back on them.

Which was when something in a nearby butcher shop window caught her eye. "Aiyah! That it! Shampoo know what to make for dinner!" she cheered, hopping up and down in glee before hurrying to get through the door.

Meanwhile, at Furinkan High...

"This time, Ranma Saotome, it is I who shall be the victor!" Tatewaki Kuno bragged, even as he hurtled towards his sworn rival.

"I've heard that before, Kuno!" Ranma shot back, smirking in anticipation of another quick victory. Sure enough, Kuno made the expected horizontal sweeping strike, which Ranma deftly negated by clapping the bokken's blade between his hands.

"Predictable! I saw this coming from a mile away!" he mocked.

"Wretch! But did you foresee this?" Kuno shot back, before doing something that nobody in Furinkan High's kendo club would have ever conceived him doing, an attack that would have disqualified him from any formal kendo tournament: he delivered a clumsy but powerful kick right at Ranma's stomach with his right foot, which landed a solid blow that actually sent Ranma stumbling backwards, holding his solar plexus and coughing.

Kuno smiled triumphantly, buoyed by this sudden success. "I have you now, Saotome!" he cried, before charging in once again. This time, he mixed and matched his attacks, combining admittedly unskilled kicks with his more familiar swordplay.

Unfortunately, he had underestimated Ranma's ability to recover and adapt to the flow of battle. Whilst Kuno's surprise attack had been a solid one, it had been far from an instant win, and such attacks were far from Kuno's expertise. Though he put up a valiant effort, Kuno swiftly found himself outmatched and knocked to the ground yet again.

"Grr... curse you, Ranma Saotome," he spat halfheartedly.

"Yeah, yeah... neat trick you pulled there, Kuno," Ranma replied with a touch of approval in his voice.

"Eh?" Kuno rolled over in the dust to look up at his rival with a curious eye.

"No offense, man, but you've been way too predictable these last few fights. Was starting to worry you'd never try anything new. But maybe put some practice into it before you try it on the field? You'd put up a much better fight that way," Ranma observed critically.

"I don't need lessons from the likes of you," Kuno insisted stubbornly, turning his face away from his erstwhile rival.

"Suit yourself... c'mon, Nabiki, let's go eat," Ranma said with a small shrug, walking way towards the middle Tendo daughter.

As the two banes of his existence departed, Kuno sat up, thinking to himself. 'Hmm... that strange girl's advice seems to bear fruit. This warrants further investigation...'

That evening...

"We're home!" Nabiki called out, slipping into her personal home slippers.

"What's for dinner, Kasumi?" Ranma asked, already padding ahead on bare feet into the living room.

"I don't know, Ranma," Kasumi replied as her little sister and her future brother-in-law joined the rest of the family.

"What do you mean you don't know?" A confused Nabiki asked her.

"Shampoo volunteered to cook dinner today; she was so insistent, I just had to let her," the eldest Tendo replied.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Kasumi?" Soun asked.

Before Kasumi could respond to that, Shampoo suddenly burst into the living room, smiling hugely and carrying a massive platter over her head. "Nihao, airens! Dutiful wife Shampoo make whole family too-too delicious dinner!" she bubbled, before placing the platter on the table. "Saw special deal in market today; knew just what to make!" she explained proudly.

The Tendos and Saotomes watched her cautiously... but, it did smell nice. Seeing as how nobody else seemed inclined to speak up, Ranma reluctantly broke the silence. "So... what is it, Shampoo?"

"Canton-style pork with hibiscus!" she chirped in response, before lifting the platter's lid to reveal a whole roast suckling pig, drenched in a thick, sweet glaze, surrounded by baked vegetables and lying on a bed of rice. "Shampoo do good job, yes?" she giggled excitedly.

"Whoa! Yeah, Shampoo, that looks awesome!" Ranma blurted out, his stomach seizing control of his tongue as he took in the quite impressive meal on display. He cast an apologetic glance at Nabiki, only to realize that his fiancée was actually drooling as she looked at it.

"You sit, you sit! Shampoo save best cuts for airens, but whole family in for too-too delicious feast!" Shampoo asserted, whipping out a pair of carving knives and deftly twirling them around her fingers.

As the beaming Chinese Amazon began portioning out the feast, Ranma and Nabiki shared a meaningful look; it didn't seem like Shampoo was going to just get up and leave of her own accord any time soon. But that was a problem for another day; right now, it was time to eat!

Chapter End & Closing Notes

And that's our latest update! Not the most action packed of chapters, I know, but they can't all be soap opera meets shonen slugfests! Hopefully, this has planted a few seeds for the immediate future of the fic, and I wonder what readers think is coming. In particular, what Cologne will do when she arrives...

I'm sure somebody's going to ask; what's the deal with Shampoo's Chinese and internal vocabulary? Well, while we know Shampoo in the English dub for her broken, almost child-like speech patterns, that's actually conveying what she sounds like when speaking "Japanese" in-universe - we don't actually know how she speaks in Chinese, because the only times she's done that is in Ranma's flashback to his first meeting with her. But in the original Japanese version, Shampoo's verbal tic is that she speaks exclusively in Keigo, the ultra-polite Japanese dialect used for formal and ceremonial occasions. Likewise, in the Chinese translations, Shampoo instead uses very formal, old-fashioned, almost archaic language - not so much "Ye Olde English" as what TVtropes calls "Antiquated Linguistics". After some thought, I felt that this would make a very nice way to give Shampoo some depth and also pay homage to a more obscure bit of Ranma lore - after all, Shampoo's technically a secondary protagonist now, so she needs to be a bit more than a simple gag.

As for Shampoo's special dinner... I couldn't resist. Ryoga fans, be not afraid; the Eternally Lost Boy is alive and well, and shall return as a major player in our next chapter, in a team-up with Kodachi Kuno!