Author's Notes: Let me reiterate once again how much it moves me to see all the love and support you guys continue to shower on a washed up old relic like me! I'm so glad that this idle whim of mine is genuinely appealing to an audience outside of myself, and let me assure you, I know exactly where I'm going with this "verse" of mine...

Special shout-out to the awesome Lord Martiya, who gave me a very intriguing PM on Tatewaki's future growth as a serious rival for Ranma!

I'm glad people approved of my choice for Shampoo's non-Japanese dialogue; as I said in my end-notes, it's easy to stereotype Shampoo as an idiot based on her English dub voice, and that's not really fair.

Bookeater-okatu: Very good points. I won't deny that I hadn't considered that sort of "realism", because none of that ever shows up in Ranma 1/2 canon, but there is an in-universe reason for Nabiki not to do that stuff initially - she doesn't want to give Shampoo's "engagement" any semblance of legitimacy. Once it's been kind of pushed in just how serious Shampoo actually is about all this? Then she can start bringing those tactics out to play.

Xbox432: You're not exactly wrong, but let's be fair; Nabiki actually has a pretty healthy appetite in canon, too. I mean, she's no Sakura the Shrine Maiden, but give her the opportunity, and she can really eat. In particular, check out the episode where Kodachi temporarily becomes a financial supporter for the Tendo dojo and whips up a huge feast; Nabiki attacks the food with a ferocity almost equivalent to Genma's!

Mangahero18: You would be the first person I ever heard say Happosai is their favorite character! But as for Cologne... well, stay strong; she will not be too much further.

Hoskins: I freely admit it that I am a maker of lame titles. They've always been my biggest weakness. I kind of went with this one because of it's vague similarity to the modern naming trend for anime, especially anime adaptations of light novels. I am really glad you're enjoying the story despite that initial misgiving, however! As for characterization... yeah, Akane and Nabiki are definitely two of my weaker characters, although I'd like to think I'm getting better with Nabiki. And in my defense, she's not really your classic "closed off and critical all the time" sort of ice queen - it's more a moniker she gets for ruthlessness than emotional repression in canon.

Pensuka: The short answer is that Shampoo in canon both has the confidence she can win Ranma entirely on her own (so why share if she doesn't have to?) and she doesn't like or respect the other girls enough to put it on the table - with Ukyo, maybe, but definitely not Akane in canon.

There are two things I feel I should briefly address before we get to what we're all here for.

Firstly: no, I am NOT "bashing Akane". I am not making Akane act in any way other than how she acted in canon. The sad fact is that Akane is canonically temperamental, quick to react with violence, slow to accept when her perspective of things is wrong, and reluctant to admit fault. The only change I've made is that people in-universe aren't simply taking that shit for granted or enabling her. Akane is not a bad person, but she does have flaws, and those flaws particularly come out around Ranma. Which means that she will alienate people who like Ranma until she grows up and gets over herself enough to try and mend bridges... which she may never do, because some people just don't ever like each other.

Secondly: I didn't have to have Shampoo seal her "co-marriage" with Nabiki with a kiss. But I chose to. Why? Because it was funny. Ranma 1/2 has always relied on awkward or embarrassing sexual interactions for comedy, it's just that 99% of the time, it tends to be the rather tired joke of Ranma-as-girl being forced upon by some male douchebag. Well, not in my work. Slapstick knows no gender, and that means Nabiki, as the female lead, is no longer immune to being fondled, groped, kissed, having her underwear stolen, or any of the other sexual comedy routines that Ranma 1/2 uses.

Chapter 12: Bloom, Oh Black Rose of Vengeance! Part 1

The evening wind whistled a melancholic tune through the leaves, twigs crackling underfoot as Ryoga Hibiki strode through the woods. As he walked, he allowed his mind to drift, waxing 'poetic; in his thoughts; a habit he had developed over many years to try and alleviate the loneliness of his cursed existence to some degree...to mixed success depending on who you asked

'The deepest wilds... how well do I know them? Though my cursed sense of direction has robbed me of a normal life, at the very least it has allowed me to understand the true beauty and majesty of nature. Out here, miles from the nearest living soul, I can purify my mind and body, concentrating my will towards achieving my ultimate goal... the defeat of Ranma Saotome!'

He stopped and punctuated the thought by punching a tree solidly in the trunk, filling the air with the deep, tormented groaning of sundered soil and snapping roots as the target of his blow keeled over backwards. Ryoga watched its death, fist still clenched, and smirked darkly to himself in satisfaction, nodding at this assurance of his strength.

Then his instincts suddenly screamed a warning, and he snatched his umbrella off of his back, flipping it open and using it like a shield to ward off a projectile that bounced away into the wilderness. "Who's out there?!" he furiously demanded, his eyes darting to and fro to find his assailant.

"You vulgar ruffian! How dare you show your face here!?" came an angry female screech, moments before a lean, dark-haired, athletic girl in a black kimono appeared from amongst the trees.

"I will not forgive this invasion!" she vowed, thrusting an accusatory finger at Ryoga.

"Who are you?!" Ryoga demanded incredulously.

"Wicked wretch, have you no shame? You dare feign ignorance of your crimes against the Black Rose of Saint Hebereke?" the girl shot back as though outraged at his ignorance.

"Wait... Kodachi Kuno?! What are you doing out here in the middle of the woods?" Ryoga blurted, too confused by the pompous rich girl's present to maintain his antagonism.

"...Middle of the woods? This is my back garden," Kodachi replied with a puzzled look on her face, evidently so confused that she momentarily forgot her vendetta.

"...You're kidding me," Ryoga protested weakly, the mood thoroughly spoiled. 'No way, my sense of direction can't be that screwed up, can it?!'

Mutely, Kodachi pointed to her left, with Ryoga following her gesture to see a small cottage sitting by a stone path within plain sight.

'...You have gotta be kidding me!' Ryoga wailed in the depths of his head. "Oh! Um... sorry? Would you believe it was an accident?" he weakly asked, trying to play it cool.

"You mean you weren't here to seek a rematch?" Kodachi asked suspiciously, her body tensing slightly in preparation.

"Whatever for? Your fight with Akane was ages ago, you and I have no reason to quarrel," Ryoga stated calmly, putting away his umbrella.

"You could be here on behalf of that red-haired harridan, Ranko," Kodachi rebutted, still ready to fight.

"You have got to be kidding!" a disgusted Ryoga retorted, face screwed up in distaste. "I fight my own battles, and I'm certainly not going to be running around doing errands for Ranma Saotome, of all people!"

"I said Ranko, not Ranma," Kodachi icily corrected him. "One is my beloved savior; the other is a crimson-tressed harpy who humiliated me on behalf of her ungainly cousin!"

Ryoga stared at her, blinked thrice, and then burst out laughing. "You're serious! You mean you didn't know?" he chuckled.

"Know what?" Kodachi indignantly demanded.

"Ranko and Ranma are the same person!" Ryoga cackled. "Your 'great love' was the one who kicked your ass in that ring in front of all your schoolmates!"

"You lie! No man could fill out a leotard that well!" Kodachi screeched in horror as she reflected on that slattern Ranko's...excessive assets.

Ryoga simply smirked. "If you don't believe me, then why don't you try splashing cold water on your precious Ranma the next time you see him?" he suggested. Swinging his umbrella back onto its resting place atop his oversized pack, he set off walking again, this time with greater purpose.

'Oh, Akane, how I've longed to see you again... wait for me, Akane, I'll be there soon!' he assured the youngest Tendo in his mind, even as he left the confused and protesting Kodachi in his wake.

The next morning, at the Tendo Dojo...

Morning for Nabiki came as had sadly become the norm since the Saotomes had arrived; jolted from the comforting embrace of sleep by the sound of Ranma and his father fighting. It said a lot about how much Nabiki had been forced to grow accustomed to it that she woke with a certain degree of begrudging acceptance about the whole matter, yawning loudly as she stretched the stiffness from her arms.

'I guess it saves on having to set the alarm,' she mused, scratching a persistent itch behind her ear.

"Stupid old panda! What for you do this?!"

'Huh? That's not Ranma's voice... or even his female voice...' Nabiki observed drowsily, shuffling over to her window.

"It's your own fault for sneaking into my son's sleeping roll! You have your own room to stay in! Did you really think I'd sell my son's virtue for a roast pork dinner, you Chinese harlot?!" Genma's deep baritone voice boomed, with its usual foghorn-like 'charm'.

"Shampoo not know that word, but Shampoo punch you anyway!" came an indignant screech in response.

Nabiki flung open the covers and looked down into the garden... and nearly fell over in shock at what she saw. It was almost poetic, the way the early dawn light illuminated the shining wet skin of Shampoo, who clearly had wound up taking the same unwanted early morning bath as Ranma.

That gentle golden sunlight sparkled on her milky white skin and danced in the locks of her flowing lavender hair... not to mention highlighting the way her soaked silken dress clung to every curve, hugging her bosom with lascivious enthusiasm and making it very obvious to Nabiki that her unwanted co-wife evidently had yet to discover the modern magic of the brassiere.

It took the middle Tendo precious seconds to reboot from the sight, dumbfoundment stealing her ability to move her limbs. Then she all but dove for her dresser.

'Camera-camera-camera-where's that fucking camera?!'

She frantically pawed through her drawers, then crowed in triumph as her trusty picture-maker surfaced. Desperately checking that the film was loaded, she hurled herself back at the window, lense glued to her eyes as she scanned for her target and then began taking pictures as if her life depended on it.

She pressed the trigger as quickly as her finger would allow, snapping shot after shot as Shampoo bounded around the yard in pursuit of Genma, wet dress showing more than it hid, with Nabiki doing her damndest to counter problems like motion blur in pursuit of the best possible shots.

'Thank you, junior high photography club! I am gonna be rich!' she giggled to herself in glee. 'There isn't a guy at Furinkan who wouldn't sell his own mother for a copy of these babies!'

As Nabiki continued to do her best to mine this unexpected motherlode, her lens fell over Ranma, also currently a soaking wet female whose usual singlet and boxers really weren't doing much to hide her femininity from the outside world. As her gender-flipped fiancé obliviously stood right in the center of Nabiki's shot, the middle Tendo daughter hesitated to press the trigger button again.

'...I could make so much money off of a cute thing like you... but, Ranma would be upset with me if I did... then again, maybe if I shared the money, he'd be okay with it?' Nabiki mused.

Almost as soon as the thought formed, she found herself thinking back to that first night when Ranma had entered her life. She remembered the shame on a newly transformed face, and the disgust in his voice; she could practically hear him denouncing himself as a freak all over again with such vividness that, had life worked like an anime, there would have been a flashback sequence.

Nabiki shook her head firmly. 'No, no, I won't do that to my fiancé... certainly not whilst that China doll is here. Bet you'd be real happy with me if I did that, wouldn't you, Shampoo? I make Ranma mad by messing up, and then you sweep in and bat those pretty red eyes of yours and then it's off to China, eh? Well, not on my watch! You have to be smarter than that to pull one over me!'

Smirking at her newly reflagged confidence, Nabiki redirected her camera and resumed taking shots of the still-damp Chinese Amazon, doing everything she could to keep Ranma's girl form out of the frame. She didn't get too many more shots before the trio of martial artists had vanished to the other side of the house, but she was content that she'd gotten a juicy array of snaps.

'Have to get those developed... but first, breakfast!' Nabiki noted to herself in satisfaction, placing the camera carefully on her dresser again and heading downstairs.

In contrast to the drama of first waking, breakfast was a subdued affair as the seven residents of the Tendo Dojo focused on filling their bellies for the day ahead of them. After brief periods to get dressed appropriately, the three high school attendees made their way to Furinkan High, with Genma also leaving for a shift at Dr. Tofu's clinic and Soun heading off for a meeting with the local council.

Behind them, Kasumi and Shampoo set to cleaning up after breakfast and getting the house in order for when everybody would be home. Sheer number of residents aside, it was a calm, normal sort of day... which, in hindsight, should have been at least a little suspicious.

Furinkan High, before the first bell...

"Ranma Saotome! Today is the day I shall break you!"

"Akane Tendo! My tigress!"

Ranma and Akane looked up in unison, having just been about to break away from Nabiki and head to their shared homeroom. Akane groaned and covered her eyes with one palm, whilst Ranma simply smiled.

"Hey, Ryoga, long time no see!" he chuckled ruefully. "I was wondering if you'd ever find your way back here..."

"A very apt concern, Ranma Saotome," Kuno interjected bombastically, nodding sagely as he did so.

"Butt out! Who asked you?" Ryoga snapped indignantly, shooting the older boy a quick glare before returning said glare to its, in Ryoga's mind, ever-deserving target.

"You were lost in my kitchen, Ryoga Hibiki. If I hadn't taken pity on you and brought you here, you'd still be locked in the pantry," the elder Kuno dryly shot back, giving the fuming eternally lost boy a critical look.

At that, Ranma burst out laughing. "Seriously, Ryoga? Man, even for you, that's pathetic!" he cackled.

"Shut up!" Ryoga roared, charging forward and swinging his umbrella at Ranma, who dodged it effortlessly, still laughing like an idiot as he did so. Akane quickly hopped out of the line of fire as Ryoga continued to swipe at his nemesis. "C'mon, fight me!"

"Hey, normally, I'd be all for it, but class is about to start, an' I don't need the trouble!" Ranma shot back. "You wanna wait until after school, sure, I'll kick your ass then, but right now, I have to get going," he declared.

Ryoga grit his teeth, seething. 'I wanna wipe the floor with that stupid smug face of yours, Ranma... but I don't wanna look like a jerk in front of Akane! She was just starting to treat me nice again after that stupid P-chan mess...'

Finally, he scoffed loudly and stowed his umbrella away. "Fine, Ranma. Enjoy your last few hours of life," he declared with his usual melodramatic finger point.

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma replied, rolling his eyes, before turning to Nabiki's classmate. "You want in on this match, Kuno?"

"Nay. I dislike two on one matches... they lack a certain fundamental fairness," he proclaimed proudly. "Besides, I still have training I must attend to," he admitted, before getting down on one knee and taking Akane's hand.

"My beloved Akane... please, have patience. I will prove to you that I am worthy of your hand once more, I swear it!" he vowed to her.

Akane pulled her hand free of Kuno's with a disgusted look. "Oh, whatever, Kuno," she retorted, before heading off to homeroom, leaving a dismayed upperclassman in her wake.

Still, Kuno quickly shook it off and rose smoothly to his feet again. "I feel it is only fair to warn you, Ranma Saotome, that it is not only Ryoga Hibiki whom you may face today... my sister hath learned of your deceit at the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics match, and she hath waxed wroth..."

"Oh, great..." Nabiki grumbled in a prompt facepalm. "Just what we needed... and how did she learn that little titbit, Kuno baby?"

"Blame not this indiscretion upon me, Nabiki Tendo! It was yon lost boy who revealed the truth to her," Kuno defended himself, pointing at Ryoga, who simply glowered resentfully back at the senior student.

"I suppose it was pretty much inevitable," Nabiki admitted after a long hard look at Ryoga, before shrugging the matter away. "Honestly, I'm kind of surprised she didn't learn it sooner..."

Before the conversation could continue, the first bell of the morning rang out, warning students that it was now time to get to class. Ranma took a moment to take Nabiki's hand and give it a reassuring squeeze before he sped off to room 1-F, after which Kuno and Nabiki made their way to room 2-E and Ryoga went to find the nearest shady seat to wait on, privately praying he wouldn't get lost and wander off-campus in the process...

Furinkan High, lunchtime...

"Here's the deal... 1000 yen per shot. You in?" Nabiki asked over a set of pictures held out like poker cards, not even bothering to hide her smirk as she studied the latest pair of suckers to approach her that lunch break. They were a couple of juniors - Hiroshi and Daisuke. Average losers in pretty much every way that mattered. But, to their credit, they'd never been stupid enough to try and get in with the Hentai Horde, so that gave them a little heads up in the brains department.

The two perverts twitched nervously, eyes flicking back and forth from the deliciously ecchi photos spread before Nabiki and then their upperclassman's face. It was obvious they would rather be staring at the former, but curiosity also seemed to compel them to look at her. "Um... how'd you get these, Nabiki?" Daisuke asked hesitantly.

"Does it really matter?" Nabiki asked, an eyebrow raised in genuine mild curiosity.

"Well, she said something about sharing Ranma with you yesterday..." Hiroshi admitted, his eyes flicking from her to the pictures.

That made a vein tick in Nabiki's forehead. "You really wanna know...? It'll cost you 10,000 yen," she replied smoothly.

"What?!" the two juniors protested.

"And the price of each shot doubles," Nabiki added, totally without spite at their stupidity and poking into things that were not their business.

The pervs winced, and looked ready to argue... for two seconds, and then they wilted. "We'll take one of each shot, please," Hiroshi said in a defeated voice as he pulled out his wallet.

'Probably couldn't afford a full set each,' Nabiki mused. Even as she did so, she was handing over the copies as yen notes filled her hands, a smile on her lips. "Pleasure doing business with you, boys. Tell your friends; this run will be limited," she chirped with a 'cat ate the canary' smirk on full display.

The two underclassmen simply mumbled something in reply, before scurrying off like the rats they reminded Nabiki of.

"Pathetic perverts," Ryonami muttered after them.

"Now, now, Ryonami; it's not our place to judge when people are filling our wallets with lovely money," Nabiki playfully scolded her henchwench.

"Besides, can you blame them? Not a lot of girls in this school built like Shampoo," Kikuko admitted, unable to hide a hint of envy as she looked over the remaining pictures.

"Hey, how did you get these pictures, anyway?" she asked, echoing what the perverts had pushed about earlier.

"Mr. Saotome likes to wake up Ranma at an ungodly hour of the morning for sparring practice by throwing him out the window and into the koi pond. Shampoo found that out the hard way," Nabiki replied with a giggle.

"...No offense, Nabiki, but your future father-in-law sounds like a jerk," Ryonami observed with a deadpan look.

"None taken; he is a jerk," Nabiki flippantly replied. "Ooh, and here's another customer!"

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the grounds, Tatewaki Kuno sat in deep meditation, eyes closed as he cast his mind across the great question of life.

'I must improve my abilities... but how can I do that without abandoning the noble art of kendo, that which I have dedicated my whole life to pursuing mastery over?'

"Master Kuno!"

Kuno cracked open an eye, unsurprised to see the diminutive form of his personal manservant kneeling before him. "What is it, Sasuke? Why do you disrupt my meditations?" he asked harshly.

"A thousand apologies, master Kuno, but I believe I have found the answer to your great quest!" the pint-sized ninja said, finally daring to rise from his formal bow. With great ceremony, he presented an ancient-looking manuscript to Kuno, who opened both of his eyes to accept it. "I was dusting the library when I found this, master..."

"The Kendo Kyohon?" Kuno read softly, his earlier irritation banished by the discovery. "I believe I remember this book..."

"I do not believe so, master. This is a 1930s printing, and... forgive me, but you must see the contents for yourself..." Sasuke elaborated, pointing to the book.

Raising an eyebrow in momentary observation at the ninja manservant's boldness, Kuno opened the book and began to thumb through it. What he saw made his eyes go wide in shock. "Well done, Sasuke! This truly is a spectacular find! Hahaha! Ranma Saotome, when next we do battle, you will fall before the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Kuno cackled triumphantly.

And elsewhere, Ranma was quietly eating his lunch, building up his strength for the afternoon's duel.

Furinkan High, after school...

Excitement rippled through Furinkan High's student population, which instead of scattering to the winds with the final bell was instead descending en masse upon one of the rear sports fields. In his short time there, Ranma Saotome had proven himself the mightiest fighter on campus, even routinely defeating their previous champion, Tatewaki Kuno.

This would have made the match interesting enough... but this was a second match with Ryoga Hibiki, the mysterious wanderer who was the only person ever seen to defeat Ranma!

...Okay, nobody was quite sure how Ryoga had won, since Ranma had seemed to be winning before Ryoga had led him off into the trees, but the fight had still been the most exciting one that they'd seen at Furinkan.

...Besides, even Nabiki surely wouldn't sabotage her own fiancé to fix a match... Right?

So the atmosphere was almost carnival like as the students gathered for the big rematch, chattering excitedly about what feats of impossible strength, speed and agility they might see this time, and of course Nabiki and her henchwenches were busy raking in the bets on how this fight would turn out.

Indifferent to the impromptu carnival surrounding them, Ranma and Ryoga stared each other down across the playing field, a scene that could have come straight from an old samurai movie.

"This time, Ranma Saotome, it ends for good! I will have my revenge!" Ryoga pontificated, twirling his umbrella in a dramatic flourish before thrusting it at his rival for emphasis.

"That's my line, pork brain!" Ranma spat with a narrow eyed stare. "I'm gonna show you what happens when you mess with me!"

"Don't make me laugh!" Ryoga roared, already charging at his adversary. He lashed out with his umbrella, already planning ahead for when Ranma pulled his trademark dodge... meaning he was as surprised as anyone else when Ranma instead tanked the blow, deflecting it with a raised forearm. Ryoga at least had the moment to savor the wince of pain that rippled over Ranma's face from the strength of the hit, right before Ranma's fist caught the eternally lost boy squarely in his own face and propelled him several steps back.

"Gah!" Ryoga instinctively protested, clutching at his aching nose. It was a stupid, amatuerish mistake, and Ryoga paid for it; although he immediately snatched his hand away, the distraction gave Ranma the opportunity to hit Ryoga with a solid three-punch combo before Ryoga could get his blocks in again.

Unfortunately, that didn't leave Ryoga in a very good position, and he found himself forced into a slow but steady retreat as Ranma kept on pounding him mercilessly.

'Sheesh, what the hell?! Ranma didn't fight like this last time! Man, and I didn't think he could get more annoying than when he was dancing around me!'

Ryonami watched the display and winced. "Wow... Ranma's taking things really seriously this time, isn't he?"

"Can you blame him? He technically lost the last fight with Ryoga because he was showboating, and then there's what happened with Kuno before that. Looks like even Ranma can learn," Kikuko quipped.

"Too bad for Ryoga," Nabiki smirked, watching as her fiancé lashed out with a kick that hit Ryoga's umbrella so hard as to propel the eternally lost boy off of his feet and through the air, an impromptu flight arrested only when he hit a nearby tree.

"Gl-aagh!" Ryoga grunted, shaking his head to try and clear the little birdies that had started chirping in his ears. 'No! This can't be! My vengeance! I'm supposed to win!'

In comparison to the nonchalance of Nabiki and her henchwenches, the sizable portion of the student body who had bet money on Ryoga's victory were not taking things so stoically. Hands clenched into fists, brows furrowed and lips trembled as their champion-apparent took what was as one-sided a beatdown as they;d ever seen on Furinkan High's grounds.

As Ranma cracked his knuckles, the sounds of the shifting bones echoing like gunshots as he advanced menacingly towards the fallen Ryoga, the last straw was dropped.

"Come on, Ryoga, you can do it!" called one of the male students.

"We believe in you, Ryoga, get up!" cried a female one.

"C'mon, man, you show that jerk Ranma who's the boss!" cried somebody who had obviously been a part of the Hentai Horde before Ranma's arrival.

"You show that bully who's the boss!" cried another female onlooker.

That opened the floodway to a chorus of cheers and calls, which brought Ranma to a confused halt as he looked incredulously at the audience.

Kikuko blinked in disbelief. "...I guess Ryoga has more of a fanbase than we knew," she admitted, not even trying to hide how dumbfounded she was at the thought.

"Or maybe Ranma needs to work on his PR," Nabiki added, just as surprised, but doing better at hiding it.

Like a shriveled seed bestowed a life-giving rain, Ryoga's withered ego drank in the praise and cheer, blooming with newfound energy. 'They're right! I can't let them down - it's my destiny to beat Ranma! I won't give up!'

With a mighty roar, Ryoga leapt to his feet, then spun around and grabbed the tree he had been resting against in a mighty bearhug. His cheer-squad died down into silence - first in confusion at his bizarre antics, and then in shocked awe as the sound of ripping earth and cracking wood filled the air as Ryoga tore the entire tree clean out of the ground, swinging it around like the biggest club this side of the legendary Ruyi Jingu Bang of Son Wukong!

"You have gotta be fucking kidding me!" Ryonami exploded, then blushed beetroot red as Nabiki and Kikuko turned shocked stares on her.

"C'mon, Ranma - fight me fair and square now!" Ryoga snarled, jabbing in Ranma's direction with his umbrella.

"Y-you call that fair and square?" The incredulous Anything-Goes practitioner asked, pointing at the impromptu landscaping victim. He got his answer as Ryoga swung the entire mass of wood and greenery at him, forcing Ranma to leap about like a flea on a hotplate as Ryoga attempted to crush him with the oversized makeshift cudgel.

Dumbfounded silence from the shocked onlookers quickly gave way to excited cheers - now this was a match! It was like something from a shonen anime come to life! Emboldened by the sounds of people crying his name and shouting encouragement, Ryoga swung the tree around as if it weighed nothing, forcing Ranma on the defensive.

"Stand still, you damn grasshopper!" Ryoga shouted in frustration, futilely taking another swing.

"Oh, yeah, great move, Ryoga! You couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with that thing!" Ranma taunted, then leapt to the side as Ryoga swung the tree down in a mighty vertical chop... so mighty, in fact, that the impact cracked the tree's crown clean off and sent it bouncing back up through the air!

To Nabiki, the world seemed to shift into slow motion as the tumbling mass of branches and leaves arced towards her and her friends like an incoming boulder. She didn't hesitate for a second, pure instinct kicking in as she grabbed Kikuko and Ryonami by the shoulders and bodily dragged them out of the line of fire, the three girls tumbling to the ground even as the bouncing treetop hit the ground in a cacophonous crash of cracking wood and smashing earth.

Time seemed to snap back to its proper speed as suddenly as it had slowed down, and Nabiki found herself gasping for air, lungs and heart racing as if she'd just completed a marathon. She panted desperately, trying to calm her pounding heart before it beat its way out of her ribcage, or burst in the trying.

"Holy - you saved our lives, boss!" Kikuko blurted out, her breath coming in short, erratic pants.

"How'd you do that, Nabiki?" Ryonami asked, stunned gaze shifting back and forth from the splintered mass of branches to her panting friend as if fixed on an automated arm.

"I... I don't know!" Nabiki admitted distantly, once she had the breath to do so. She stared at the mass of wood that could have easily fatally crushed or impaled her, a single thought emerging from the churning emotions whirling through her mind: 'Did Mr. Saotome's crazy training just save my life?!'

The fact that three of their own nearly got squashed like bugs naturally distracted the Furinkan students, and the fact that they'd gotten away unscathed sent sighs of relief echoing through the field. Even if it had only been Nabiki in the line of fire, nobody wanted to know what kind of trouble they would have gotten in for being there when somebody got squished!

"Ryoga!"

And that wrathful cry reminded them of why they had come here in the first place.

"You stupid jerk!" Ranma howled like a vengeful ghost, springing towards Ryoga and descending from on high like a wrathful deity.

Instinctively, Ryoga twisted the tree trunk so as to place the solid wooden mass of it in between his chest and Ranma's diving two-footed kick. And even then, the impact rippled through the wood and into Ryoga's ribs, propelling him back several inches - he could feel himself sliding involuntarily through the dirt from the force of that hit! Even as that registered, an ominous cracking noise filled the air, right before the tree trunk shattered into pieces where Ranma had kicked it, splitting it into two smaller halves that fell to either side of him, with Ryoga instinctively gawping at this feat of strength.

'Where was he hiding this?!' He mentally protested. Looking up, Ryoga winced at the look on his old rival's face, the ghostly blue-white flames of an honest to goodness battle aura starting to lick around Ranma's head and limbs. 'Oh, this is gonna suck...'

Truer words had never been thought as Ranma pounced upon Ryoga like a starving tiger. "Don't you ever! Hurt! HER!" he roared, unleashing a savage volley of blows from hands, feet, knees and elbows, culminating in a ferocious uppercut that sent Ryoga soaring clear into the sky and out of sight; the last anyone saw of him was a star-like twinkle as he vanished into the horizon.

Even as Ryoga rocketed off into lower earth orbit, Ranma was racing over to Nabiki's side. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he demanded.

"I-I'm fine, Ranma. Not even a scratch, I promise," Nabiki assured her fiancé. "But thank you for worrying about me," she admitted, giving in and throwing her arms around Ranma's neck, nuzzling up close and reveling in the sensation as he instinctively hugged her tightly back.

'Heh. Beat that, Shampoo; you won't be stealing my Ranma any time soon,' Nabiki mentally gloated... at least, the tiny part of her that wasn't enjoying being held like something precious.

Of course, Ranma's victory was cause to celebrate for other reasons besides standing by her man, and Nabiki reluctantly squirmed out of Ranma's embrace to direct a predatory smile at the crestfallen crowd who had bet on Ryoga. Of course, one look at Ranma looming protectively behind her, and any thoughts of trying to stiff Nabiki on her earnings were squelched there and then.

Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo...

Shampoo bit back a resigned sigh of boredom, not wanting to seem rude in front of her hostess. 'How does she do this all day?' the Chinese Amazon wondered, glancing over at Kasumi, whose attention was fixed raptly on the television screen.

After Ranma and Nabiki had left that morning, Shampoo had managed to occupy herself for a time by helping Kasumi out with the morning chores. Between the two of them, things had quickly been resolved, and Shampoo had then had to try and amuse herself.

She'd hoped to maybe spend some time training with her new fathers-in-law, but both Soun and Genma had made themselves scarce whilst she was busy, citing jobs they had to do. That had left Shampoo with only one real form of entertainment; the television.

'It is not as if I dislike television... some of those series that I witnessed whilst channel hopping looked promising. But Kasumi wanted to watch this... I have no idea why. At least the cooking show was educational, but this... soap opera? I have no idea what is going on or why it is happening! It is so boring! ...And Kasumi is just eating it up. How long has she been watching this show?'

"Nabiki Tendo! Prepare to die!" came an outraged feminine cry, moments before a strange girl landed in the Tendo family's backyard.

'Oh, thank you ancestors...' Shampoo mentally prayed, even as she sprang to her feet and assumed a defensive stance, positioning herself between Kasumi and the stranger. "Who you? What you doing here?" she demanded of the intruder.

"I am the beautiful young flower of Saint Hebereke High! I am Kodachi 'the Black Rose' Kuno! And I come to seek revenge on the duplicitous Nabiki Tendo!" declared the stranger, brandishing a silken ribbon as if it were a whip. "And who are you to challenge me?"

"Shampoo! Chinese Amazon! Shampoo is guarding Nabiki Tendo! You no harm Nabiki!" The Joketsuzoku warrior rebutted, setting her body into readiness.

"Hmph... so; Ms. Tendo has hired herself a mercenary, has she? What a poor sport!" Kodachi scowled ferociously.

"But if you insist on standing in my way...I won't go easy on you!" she cried, lashing out with her ribbon-whip.

Unfortunately, Shampoo was no novice combatant to be startled by a little razzle-dazzle. Drawing her trusty dao from its concealing ki pocket, she sliced her assailant's ribbon cleanly in two with a contemptuous flick of her wrist, letting the severed length of silk flutter limply to the earth. "Shampoo so scared," she mockingly drawled.

Kodachi's pale cheeks flushed with rage. "Impudent brute! Very well, if it's a vulgar brawl you want, then Kodachi shall oblige!" she snarled, tossing down her ribbon and withdrawing a pair of gymnastics clubs, which she twirled around her fingers like a Western gunslinger.

"You have guts," Shampoo conceded grudgingly, trading her dao for her trusty chui - it was only fair, after all. With a single surge of motion, she powered forward, legs thrusting like hypercharged springs to propel her at the loudmouthed stranger who had dared to invade her adoptive home - never mind that she clearly wasn't welcome here yet.

The air echoed with the ringing of steel on steel, blows traded in a fearsome flurry as gymnastics club clashed against Chinese battle mace. Unfortunately for Kodachi, Shampoo's weapons had just as much reach and far more heft from their oversized heads, whilst the "Chinese barbarian" wielding them was simply much stronger than anyone Kodachi had ever faced before in her life.

Though she put up a valiant struggle, there could have been only one real outcome with the way things were, and Kodachi found herself flying through the air with a cry of dismay before landing painfully on the ground.

"But not much brains," Shampoo amended, smiling wickedly. She rolled her neck and shoulders, audibly cracking the joints as she loosened up. "You want try again? Shampoo have fun smacking you around..."

Hissing between her teeth from the pain, Kodachi slowly rose from the earth, glowering at Shampoo with such intensity that if looks could kill, the Chinese Amazon would have been nothing but ashes. "You filthy savage... how much is she paying you? I'll double it if you'll leave now!"

Shampoo scoffed at the way this person insulted her honor. Yes her tribe sometimes fought for pay, but once you accepted a contract, you stuck with it. To imply that she would be willing to discard her honor, let alone need to be bought to... "Shampoo not paid. Shampoo defend Nabiki because Nabiki is Shampoo's family. Something crazy girl like you obviously never understand."

Somehow, Kodachi managed to glare even more furiously than before. "Why, you insolent wicked..." she hissed.

"We're home!" came a sudden call from the house's interior.

"Nabiki! Ranma! Watch out!" cried Kasumi in concern.

"Kasumi?! What's wrong?" Came the answering cry, followed by the sound of pounding feet as the newly returned duo raced onto the scene.

"Nihao, airens! Be staying back! Shampoo dealing with intruder!" Shampoo called over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off of Kodachi.

"Kodachi?! What are you doing here?" Nabiki demanded indignantly, making sure to keep Ranma in between herself and the younger Kuno. Not that she didn't trust Shampoo to handle her, but she just felt safer with two mega-martial artists in her defense instead of one.

Kodachi, however, only had eyes for one new arrival. "Ranma Saotome, take this!" she cried, her hand snapping out in a blur as she launched a projectile.

"Airen!" Shampoo cried, but even her reflexes couldn't let her intercept this one.

Ranma, however, reacted with even greater speed than Shampoo was capable of, effortlessly blocking the attack with an upflung hand... which was when he suddenly found himself doused in cold water as the projectile burst on impact.

"Gaack! A water balloon?! What the hell? What are you, six?" Ranma protested, shaking the worst of the liquid from her face before glowering indignantly at Kodachi.

The younger Kuno went white as a ghost, even as her eyes blazed with fury. "It's true?! You! The pigtailed girl!? The same person?!" She shrieked, hitting a rage-fueled pitch that made all present wince from the assault on their eardrums.

"I... ah... that is..." Ranma muttered, caught wrong-footed and unsure of what to say. Despite everything, Ranma felt an instinctive pang of relief when Kodachi transferred her piercing glare from Ranma to Nabiki.

"You vile merchant in deception! I, Kodachi Kuno, vow that you shall pay for your crimes against me! Next time we meet, your brutish mercenary will not save you! This, I vow!" Kodachi passionately declared, before whipping out a spare ribbon and twirling it to create a blinding flurry of black rose petals. As Ranma and Shampoo instinctively covered their eyes, Kodachi fled back over the wall, shrieking her maniacal laugh as she went.

"Well... that went swimmingly," Nabiki grumbled, with Ranma giving her a flat look for the unintentional pun.

"Shampoo sorry... thought was just rude weakling. Shampoo play too much, should have beaten her sooner," the Chinese Amazon apologized, visibly wilted in dismay at her failure.

"Oh, it's alright, Shampoo; Kodachi's just one of the local nuts. Nobody ever takes her seriously," Nabiki assured her with a pat on the shoulder. Normally, she'd be a bit more gloating at seeing her rival 'fail', but it was a touch hard when said rival was upset about failing to protect them... 'NO! Don't give in, Nabiki, think cold, cashy thoughts...' she mentally chided herself.

"Still! Shampoo must protect Nabiki from crazy rose girl," Shampoo declared firmly.

"I agree... she looked really mad, Nabiki," Ranma interjected.

Nabiki heaved an exaggerated sigh. "Oh, save me from protective martial artists... I think you're both overreacting," she said with a faux long-suffering expression.

"Now, Nabiki, you should be thankful; I think Ranma and Shampoo are being very nice by promising to look after you like that," Kasumi interjected with what Nabiki could have sworn was a little smile, but Kasumi's expression resumed it's serene state too quickly to tell for sure.

"You too, Kasumi?" Nabiki playfully complained, the chance to banter with her elder sister breaking the mock grimace with a grin.

"Big sister Kasumi is too-too smart!" Shampoo chirped, grinning happily at the support. "So, what you do today, airens? You have fun?" she asked, eager to learn about what her other halves had spent their day doing.

Late that night...

A rhythmic knocking noise filled the cool night air, punctuated by a far less rhythmic chant of, "Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit!"

On the last 'damnit', Ryoga's fist impacted against the tree so hard that it split it in half instead of merely mashing a crater into the wood. "How does he do it to me? He always wins! It's not fair - why, why does that cursed Ranma always manage to defeat me?!" he demanded of the uncaring universe.

"Because you're playing the game on his terms," came a cold voice from behind him.

Ryoga turned around and saw Kodachi, who was staring at him with barely restrained murder in her eyes, radiating the icy chill of somebody who had gone through fury and out the other side. "What did you say?" he asked, mostly to cover up his awkwardness at being discovered again. 'Don't tell me I wound up back at the Kuno estate again!' he mentally lamented. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid direction sense...'

"I said you're playing the game on Ranma's terms. He's cheating you, just like Nabiki cheated me by manipulating me into playing on her terms," Kodachi explained icily. "I say that when that happens, it's time to start playing by your own terms... what do you say, Ryoga Hibiki?"

"Um... what?" Ryoga asked, completely lost at this point both literally and figuratively.

Kodachi's eye twitched, and the eternally lost boy winced at the sight. "You want revenge on Ranma. I want revenge on that scheming witch Nabiki, and her Chinese thug. I'm suggesting that if we team up, we could both achieve what we desire..." she bit out.

Ryoga stared at her silently, digesting her words. 'I don't have any real problem with Nabiki... and I don't even know who this 'Chinese thug' is... but I'm sick of losing to Ranma! It's not fair that he keeps beating me, after ruining my life! If this girl can help me, then I can help her...'

Mind made up, Ryoga thrust out his chest and nodded firmly. "You have a deal, lady."

"Excellent. Now, follow me... we have much planning to do, and I would rather you avoid wandering into Mr. Scaly Green's pond beforehand," Kodachi declared, before turning and walking back in what was obviously the direction of her mansion, with Ryoga hot on her heels.

Chapter End & Closing Notes

And at long last, we have an update! I'm really sorry for the delays in getting this out; you'd think that current situations would give me more time to write, but in fact my focus has been absolutely shot, and I can only apologize for that.

I know folks were looking forward to a Kodachi/Ryoga teamup, but I was having such a stumbling block with this chapter that I ultimately decided to split it in half so as to get an update out sooner rather than later. We'll get to see the fruits of their wicked ploys in the next chapter, I promise! And after that... well, we have the Martial Arts Takeout adaptation, which I think people will be surprised by, and a very unexpected turn of events immediately after that. The Nekoken, Cologne's arrival, Mousse's arrival... things are going to get very busy in the near future!

As always, I hope that folks enjoy this work; your reviews are the fuel that keep me pumped up to continue writing!

That said, maybe you readers can help me? Way back, I had a story here on FFN that was a bunch of oneshots tied into my Ranma/Infernum crossover fanfic. I took it down, I don't know why, but the word docs I had saved of that fic (along with a bunch of other of my old fanfic writing stuff, including the original fic version of A Different Route Taken and a couple of fics I never even published, including a Ranma/Shampoo day-1 AU fic based on the idea "what if Ranma & Genma went to Nyuchiezu first?") were lost when the external harddrive they were on got fried. I know it's a long shot, but I was wondering if maybe anyone had kept their own copy of those Ranma/Infernum oneshots?

Also, more seriously... I'd love to add a bit more verisimilitude to this fic by referencing real anime, manga, videogames or other media entertainment that our teenage protagonists could consume, refer to, or have opinions on... but I'm actually pretty oblivious to what teen entertainment was like in Japan in the 1989-1995 period that the series is set in. If readers could suggest titles that Ranma and company might be familiar with, that'd be really appreciated.

Finally, I'm ecstatic to announce that this fanfic now has a dedicated TVtropes page! I really can't wait to see if fans will be willing to expand upon it as this fic reaches ever onward - I have plans for this story, and I want to take it all the way to a glorious (hopefully) climax!