Dear Bella,

Bo is almost finished with college and has already had a job offer in Sequim that she is almost positive she will accept. She told me Chris was applying nearby, and depending on what he would find, they would settle there, renting an apartment and living together for the first time. I fully expected one of them to concede and switch schools for the other. They are the same though, in knowing what they want and not accepting anything less. With that mentality, I have no worry of either their success.

Though I am happy for her, both with her job offers and the path her relationship with Chris has taken, I am also disappointed. Deep down, I was hoping she would settle at home for a little while after graduation. I wanted to wrap my world around her like I did when she was little, if just for a few months. I should have known better; Bo would never be satisfied with that.

Charlie is well, though age is starting to slow him just enough that he is in bed by eight-thirty and no later. I have tried to stay busy, taking on more work and meeting Mike for Dinner and drinks at least once a week. It's kind of funny when I think about the bond Mike ,and I have developed. Charlie and I even spent Thanksgiving with him and the kids this past year since it was Rose's year with her family out of state.

Part of me wants to pack up and move closer to where Bo and Chris will settle, though it gives me so much anxiety I know that I won't. The yellow we painted the kitchen, the painstaking decisions over wall color and furniture to match. I don't think I can leave the home we created before you left, even if there is nothing else holding me here but memories.

Everything is the same as it was, besides Bo's crib changing out for a full-size bed and new memories created as she grew. The marks of her height on the kitchen doorway cannot be remade.

Neither can the nights we spent before the fireplace making love or talking over coffee at the kitchen table. I think I would rather be alone here with the memories of you than pack up my things to be closer to Bo. Some things just can't be left behind or moved with me.

I love our daughter like nothing else, but I still hold onto the love that we had just as hard. How can I move from that?

I haven't been feeling the best lately, and the doctor has ordered some tests to be done, though I haven't scheduled to have them done.

I'm not ready.

Bo isn't ready.

Will the time ever be right?

As I say these things, I know your time wasn't right, either. Am I perhaps living in a world of what I don't know, won't hurt me … or Bo?

I want to protect her as much as I can, but sometimes, maybe, it's out of my hands. I only hope you are waiting for me, Bella. Waiting for me patiently as I settle things here and make sure Bo is secure.

I love you. I will always love you, in a way that can only be for you. Help me be strong till then.

Love always,

Your Edward

Give Fran the BIGGEST applause! I sent this chapter and the next super late after a few white claws, hahaha!