A/N: Hello. Here, we have another chapter for "The Loud House" (Rewrite). And this time, Ronnie Anne would officially appear.
The Loud House (Rewrite)
Chapter 4: Heavy Meddle
Play Jürgen Schlachter Music: "The Big Laugh"
It all started one day at Lincoln's School when he opened up his locker, but right then, a slender Latin-American girl, black hair with purple highlights tied to a ponytail, tan skin, freckles on her cheeks, wears a purple hooded jacket, white tank-top, blue short jeans, pink socks, and purple flats pantsed him.
"Got you, Lame-o.", the girl smirked.
"Really?", Lincoln asked before the other kids laughed at him and took photos at his expense.
After class, Lincoln got out of his desk, but the same girl from earlier tied his shoelaces together, making him trip and fall.
"Got you, Lame-O.", the girl grinned.
"Oh, real original!", Lincoln spoke sarcastically before the other kids laughed and took pictures of that moment, too.
Later, at lunch, Lincoln sat down in his favorite lunch seat only to inadvertently make a fart noise and find out that he sat on a whoopee cushion, which was the actual cause of the noise.
"Got you, Lame-O.", the girl snickered.
"That's real mature!", Lincoln shouted sarcastically before the other kids popped up, laughed at him, and took pictures of the moment again.
Soon after, the bell rang with Lincoln checking his locker only for a pile of garbage to fall onto him, making the kids do what they did before again.
Then, Lincoln opened up a door from the trash and decided that he's had enough.
"All right! That's it!", Lincoln shouted.
End Jürgen Schlachter Music: "The Big Laugh"
Later, he and Clyde were walking home from school.
"So, you really confronted that bully?", Clyde asked.
"That's right. I said to meet me at 3:30 in front of my house, and we're gonna settle this."
"Whoa! You're gonna fight?!", Clyde exclaimed.
"I'm not an animal, Clyde. I'm going to deliver a strongly worded speech...as soon as I write it.", Lincoln assured before Clyde noticed something.
"Looks like that bully left you a note of her own.", Clyde stated.
"Huh?", Lincoln puzzled before he saw a sticky note on his head, pulled it off, and read it.
"Lame-O.", Lincoln read.
There was also a piece of gum in Lincoln's hair with Clyde sniffing the gum.
"Ooh! Watermelon lime!", Clyde detected.
"Better not let my sisters see this, 'cause then they'll want to get involved and make things worse, the way they always do.", Lincoln spoke.
"I don't know. Maybe they'd be helpful. Your sister Lori gives great advice. She told me to never be myself. I love that woman.", Clyde spoke as he looked lovesick.
"Aw, Clyde. Sweet, innocent Clyde. You have no idea what it's like to have thirteen siblings, 10 of which are meddling sisters.", Lincoln responded before it showed a flashback of what looks like Lincoln being sick before Lori put a thermometer in his mouth and checked his temperature, Lisa came in with an X-Ray machine and took his X-rays, leaving him with glowing radiation, Luan dressed as a doctor with a clown nose, and Luna bandaging him up real tight like a mummy before Lincoln muffled, prompting Luan to remove the bandages covering his mouth so he can breathe.
"Phew.", Lincoln sighed in relief before Leni carried a bowl of piping hot soup.
"Here comes the airplane!", Leni spoke before inadvertently spilling it all over Lincoln's crotch.
"Oopsie.", Leni apologized.
"Aahh! It burns!", Lincoln shouted as Leni walked away in embarrassment before Luna and Luan bandaged up his crotch to end the flashback.
"And that was just a paper cut!", Lincoln finished, holding up a finger with a bandage wrapped around it.
"Well, then, you'd better get that gum out. You wanna look intimidating for that bully.", Clyde suggested.
"I was born intimidating.", Lincoln responded before trying to pull it out, but it was too grody to touch for him.
"Ew, ew! Gross!", Lincoln exclaimed.
"You know, peanut butter will get that gum out.", Clyde asked.
"Should I use chunky or smooth?", Lincoln asked.
"Well, if you use chunky, you're gonna have to use smooth to get the chunks out.", Clyde explained.
"Good point. Thanks, pal.", Lincoln thanked.
Then, Lincoln went into his house and looked around to see if any of his other sisters are lurking. So far, the coast is clear and he stepped in and put his backpack on the floor. Just then, a news broadcast weather board saying, "LHN 6 LIVE WEATHER REPORT: CLEAR SKIES LINGERING BUTT-INS KEEP UMBRELLA HANDY" appeared next to him with his face in the sun.
"The National Weather Service reports clear skies with only a 20% chance of meddling sisters. But we advise keeping your umbrella handy.", Lincoln grinned before noticing Lily playing with some of her toys and noticed Lincoln coming before he shushed her only to step on a squeaky toy and lift his foot up with some squeaking aftershocks from said toy.
"Shh...", Lily repeated before Lincoln shushed her again and snuck off past Lori from the other room.
"Hold it right there!", Lori shouted, making Lincoln think he was caught red-handed when she was actually talking to a friend of hers over the phone.
"He wore cargo shorts on your date? That is literally the worst thing I have ever heard.", Lori spoke as she then walked away before Lincoln sighed in relief and snuck into the kitchen to get to the fridge where the peanut butter should be.
"Peanut butter, peanut butter...where's the peanut butter?", Lincoln asked hurriedly just before Luna came in, humming, urging Lincoln to hide the gum by sticking his head in one of the crisper drawers.
"Hey, bro.", Luna greeted.
"Oh, hey, Luna. What's the haps?", Lincoln asked.
"Rad way to chill out, bro.", Luna complimented, seeing his position.
"Right. Totally rad.", Lincoln responded nervously.
"Hey, hook me up with some pudding.", Luna asked before Lincoln then felt around for a pudding cup only to touch a piece of broccoli.
"Gross!", Lincoln exclaimed as he shook the broccoli texture off his hand, found a pudding cup, and handed it to Luna.
"Thanks. Stay cool.", Luna spoke before she left, allowing Lincoln to get his head out of the crisper drawer with a head of cabbage on the gum and shook it off before finding the peanut butter jar.
"Peanut butter!", Lincoln shouted before opening the jar only to discover that it's empty and got frustrated.
"Ah! Why do people put empty jars back in the fridge?!", Lincoln shouted before putting it back in despite what he just ranted about.
"I need a Plan B.", Lincoln spoke before Lori spoke over the phone.
"Socks and sandals? Cut it out!", Lori spoke.
"'Cut it out.' That's it!", Lincoln realized as he came up with an idea before sneaking past Lori.
"Now that is literally the worst thing I have ever heard.", Lori spoke as Lincoln snuck into his parents' room and grabbed a pair of scissors to cut the gum out with, but just as he made his way to the staircase, Luan was coming down, urgin Lincoln to stick the gum to the wall to hide it.
"Hey, Luan.", Lincoln spoke nervously.
"Hey, Lincoln. What do you think of this joke? "If I were you, I'd go for the baboon!"", Luan joked, puzzling Lincoln.
"I don't get it.", Lincoln puzzled.
"Oh. Well, that's just the punchline. I still gotta think of the setup.", Luan responded before she walked away, allowing Lincoln to head up the stairs and make it to the door to his room only for his mother, Rita, to call for him.
"Lincoln, honey! I need you to take out the trash!", Rita urged.
"Okay, Mom! Five minutes!", Lincoln assured.
"Not five minutes! Now!", Rita shouted.
"I will! Just give me three minutes!", Lincoln shouted.
"Lincoln, listen to your mother!", Lincoln's father, Lynn Sr., only shouted in response before Lincoln groaned and snuck around to avoid his sisters so he could take the trash out, but Leni was coming, so Lincoln had to put a trash lid on the gum to hide it.
"Hey, Lincoln. Is my desk lamp in there? I can't find it anywhere.", Leni asked.
"Nope. Have you tried looking on your desk?", Lincoln responded.
"So smart!", Leni spoke before noticing the lid on Lincoln's head.
"What's up with that hat?", Leni asked.
"Oh, this? These are all the rage right now. I'm surprised you didn't know.", Lincoln responded, striking a few poses.
"Hmm...", Leni thought over, inspired, before Lincoln snuck back to the door to his room and sighed in relief before getting ready to open the door only for Liberty and Liberet to catch him.
"Hey, Lincoln.", Liberet greeted before she noticed the gum on his hair.
"Hey. Wait a minute. Why do you have gum on your hair?", Liberet asked.
"I'm sure it's just-", Lincoln began.
"Someone has been picking on you, haven't they?", Liberty guessed.
"Guys, please! You can't tell! I don't want everyone getting involved.", Lincoln pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Lincoln, but I can't let the humiliation your bully put you through go unpunished.", Liberet only refused before she and Liberty marched away, giving Lincoln a sense of dread.
"Oh, no!", Lincoln squeaked before entering his room.
He then hurriedly took out the scissors and snipped the gum out.
"Got it! Now to get rid of it before...!", Lincoln began before Lynn kicked the door open with every sister, including Liberty and Liberet, there.
"So, you are being picked on!", Luna spoke.
"Of course not!", Lincoln responded nervously.
"Then what's that?", Luan asked, pointing to the gum.
"That's just my gum.", Lincoln fibbed before then chewing it, trying to cover it up, but was obviously disgusted by it
"Mmm...watermelon lime. And hair!", Lincoln exclaimed before he coughed it out, making the girls start demanding him all at once to let them help him.
"Guys! Guys! Please stay out of this! I can understand Liberty and Liberet, but the rest of you will only make it worse!", Lincoln exclaimed.
"If by worse you mean better, I agree.", Lori argued.
"You should go straight to the school principal!", Lola added.
"Forget that. You should literally text an embarrassing picture of him to all his friends.", Lori suggested.
"I'm gonna write an insult comedy routine that will leave him in tears!", Luan spoke before Lynn flipped at Lincoln and kicked him.
"Basic stealth ninja kick. That's how you're gonna take him down.", Lynn spoke before Lincoln groaned and gave an update on the weather of his life with storm clouds coming in over his face as another board saying, "SISTERNADO WARNING: CATEGORY 1 BUTTING IN PRIMARY RISK: Making things worse for me Damaging childhood Bad advice BREAKING NEWS: FIRST ALERT SEVERE SISTWISTER THREAT" appeared on the right side.
"Well, folks, the National Weather Service has just released a Category 1 Sisternado Watch. We advise boarding up your windows and preparing your emergency supplies.", Lincoln spoke before Lynn suddenly grabbed him and had him in a hold.
"That's the camel clutch. Another good option for ya.", Lynn spoke before getting off him.
"Look, I don't need any-", Lincoln began before Luan interrupted.
"We'll start with some basic dumb jokes. Like, 'You're so dumb you locked yourself inside your car.' That kind of thing.", Luan suggested.
"Ooh I know! I'll invite him to a tea party and make him use the chipped cup!", Lola spoke before giving a sinister smile with a sinister sting to accompany it.
"I'm so evil, sometimes I scare even me.", Lola spoke before Lincoln noticed Lynn standing in a strange pose.]
"What are you doing?", Lincoln puzzled before Lynn pulled Lincoln's shirt over his face.
"Surprise mime attack! I invented that one myself.", Lynn responded before Lincoln pulled his shirt back down.
"Lynn, I'm not going to fight. I-", Lincoln began before Lynn groaned.
"Fine! I'll take care of this myself.", Lynn spoke before walking off.
"You should do this!", Luna suggested before slamming a pair of cymbals right in Lincoln's ears.
"His ears'll be ringing for days!", Luna responded.
"Ugly jokes are always good, too. Like, 'You're so ugly, you have to trick-or-treat over the phone!'", Luan added.
"What?!", Lincoln shouted, the ringing still present in his ears before Lynn returned with a boy and was carrying him by the seat of his pants.
"Look! I found him!", Lynn shouted before the girls surrounded him and were not very happy with him.
"How dare you bully our brother! Only we get to do that.", Lori spoke before Lana spat the gum right into Lincoln's hand.
"Smoosh your watermelon lime gum in his hair, Lincoln!", Lana spoke before seeing that Lincoln is too hesitant to do it.
"Fine. I'll do it.", Lana spoke before Lincoln stopped them.
"Wait! Stop! This guy isn't my enemy! Although, thanks to you, he probably will be now.", Lincoln spoke before the boy growled at him for what he's been put through.
"Oh.", Lynn spoke before kicking the boy out.
"Why are you still here?", Lynn asked,
"I can't believe I almost wasted perfectly good gum on him.", Lana spoke before she took her gum back and chewed it.
"I'll go get another boy.", Lynn spoke as she proceeded to do so.
"No, that's not necessary.", Liberet responded.
"Liberet's right, Lynn! It's not even a boy!", Lincoln spoke before Lynn suddenly stopped, surprised at that fact while the others are perplexed.
"Is it a dog?", Leni puzzled.
"It's a girl...", Lincoln sighed before 9 out of 13 sisters gasped and shrieked excitedly.
"What?", Lincoln puzzled.
All the girls except Lisa, Liberty, and Liberet then gave him a big group hug and suffocated him.
"Normally, I don't care for inane human emotions, but...EEEEEE!", Lisa shouted excitedly, joining in on the hug as well.
"Lincoln! Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?!", Luna shouted excitedly.
"She sounds so pretty!", Lola added.
"What is happening?", Lincoln puzzled while being suffocated before they all released Lincoln from their hug.
"When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing: she likes you!.", Lori exclaims before the girls all squealed again excitedly, but Liberty and Liberet believed otherwise.
"Nuh-uh. That's not at all how this works!", Liberty argued.
"Liberty's right. That's ridiculous! She shoved a sandwich down my pants! I was picking sesame seeds out of my butt for days!", Lincoln agreed only for the girls to swoon over such a non flirty prank.
"So romantic...", Leni spoke.
"That's a classic.", Lori added.
"You guys are all nuts! What part of any of what she did to our brother is romantic?! She doesn't love him, she hates him!", Liberet retorted angrily.
"Exactly! And I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind!", Lincoln added.
"You need to give her a piece of your heart instead.", Lori argued.
"What?!", Lincoln asked, scared.
"I think he needs to kiss her.", Leni suggested with Lily making kissy faces in agreement.
"What?!", Lincoln, Liberty, and Liberet exclaimed.
"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!", the sisters shouted before they continue urging Lincoln to kiss his bully in chants, even starting to form miniature tornadoes around them and merge together to create the Sisternado just before a weather warning popped up with the tornadoes taking over Lincoln's space with another board appearing, saying, "SISTERNADO RED ALERT BREAKING NEWS S.O.S./TAKE COVER/AAAHH!".
"This just in from the National Weather Service! The Sisternado watch has been upgraded to a Sisternado warning. Take cover immediately!", Lincoln shouted before the aptly named "Sisternado" trapped Lincoln, Liberty, and Liberet inside.
"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"", the sisternado spoke before the trio escaped and ran into the bathroom to seek shelter.
"Are they crazy or are they crazy?!", Liberty exclaimed before Lincoln picked up his radio.
"Mayday! Mayday! Clyde, do you copy?", Lincoln shouted.
"Roger. I mean, this is Clyde, not Roger. But yeah. Roger, it's Clyde.", Clyde responded.
"My sisters have lost their minds! They think the bully likes me! They want me to kiss her!", Lincoln shouted.
"I don't know. Maybe they're right, Lincoln.", Clyde guessed.
"My sisters are never right! All they do is meddle.", Lincoln argued.
"And make things worse!", Liberet added.
"Wait. Was that Liberet?", Clyde asked.
"Don't ask. But I'll say this about her, she and Liberty really know how to agree with me.", Lincoln responded.
"Yeah. Anyway, they're girls, Lincoln. They know more about these things than we do. It's a scientific fact.", Clyde responded.
"Yeah, but there's no way that-", Lincoln began before he suddenly started considering the possibility.
"Wow. Me? You really think she might like me? How would I know?", Lincoln asked.
"There's only one way to find out.", Clyde spoke.
"Lincoln, no! That bully could pulverize you out there!", Liberet shouted in worry for him.
"Yeah, you even go through with that, you might as well be giving yourself a black eye!", Liberty added.
"Or maybe she was doing that because she loves me. Or a little bit of both. Who's to say? Either way, I guess there is only one way to know for sure.", Lincoln spoke before going out to confront the Sisternado.
"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!", the sisternado shouted.
"Hold it!", Lincoln shouted before the Sisternado came to a stop and the sisters turned back to normal.
"So, am I going to kiss this girl or what?", Lincoln smirked, making most of the girls squeal.
"Again...", Lisa spoke before squealing again.
Later, it's 3:30 with Lincoln making preparations.
"It's 3:30. Lola, lip balm.", Lincoln spoke before Lola applied it.
"Lana, breath mint.", Lincoln spoke before Lana put it in his mouth.
"Let's do this.", Lincoln spoke confidently before heading on out to meet the girl of his dreams.
"Go get her, Romeo.", Lynn spoke.
"You so got this, little bro.", Lori spoke.
"Aw, our little Lincoln.", Lola added.
"All grown up.", Lana added before Lola handed Lana a tissue for her to blow her nose with.
Leni was even wearing the trash lid on her head, having believed Lincoln's lie.
"All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding. These are all the rage right now.", Leni spoke.
However, Liberty and Liberet only showed worry for Lincoln.
"Don't go out there! You have so much to live for!", Liberet shouted dramatically before Liberty moved her back.
"Just be careful out there, bro.", Liberty spoke.
"Uh, okay.", Lincoln spoke, puzzled, before stepping outside, marching up to his friend, and giving her a kiss.
"Aww...", the sisters spoke sweetly.
"Huh. That was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was gonna…", Liberty began just before the girl, however, responded to this romantic gesture by punching Lincoln in the face as expected.
"Ooh!", the sisters spoke, concerned.
"Okay. Now, it's as bad as I thought it was gonna be.", Liberty finished.
Then, Lincoln stepped back inside with a black eye and now incredibly furious at his sisters (all except Liberty and Liberet, who tried to warn him earlier).
"Sorry, buddy. Our bad.", luna apologized.
"Well, at least, you gave it a shot.", Luan assured.
"I'll get some ice for that shiner.", Lynn assured.
"X-ray machine, stat.", Lisa spoke.
"I'm really sorry, Lincoln.", Leni apologized before the rest of the girls who were proven wrong all tried to apologize to Lincoln for their meddling, but he was through hearing.
"Quiet! Every time you guys, except Liberty and Liberet, butt into my life, you make things worse! Well, guess what? Never again! No! More! Meddling!", Lincoln shouted before walking to his room and slamming the door in rage as his sisters stood there feeling guilty.
"Awkward.", Liberty spoke before she and Liberet joined him in order to give him actual support.
"I knew it all along. I should never have listened to them. Unlike you two, my sisters are always wrong.", Lincoln spoke just before someone whistled from outside to get Lincoln's attention, as well as Liberty and Liberet.
"Huh? What's that?", Liberet puzzled before Lincoln looked out his window on one end as a rock came flying in through the other end and all three in the room noticed that there's a note attached to it.
"Looks like a note.", Liberty spoke before Lincoln read it.
"Sorry, Lame-O. Here's my number. 555-0121. Text me.", Lincoln read while getting confused at the last part before he smiled and looked out the window and got a steak thrown at his eye with which it also had a note on it.
"Huh? There's a note on the steak, too.", Liberet noticed before Lincoln got the note out and read it.
"For your eye. XOXO, Ronnie Anne.", Lincoln spoke before smiling hopefully, placing steak over his shiner and turned to the 4th wall.
"Okay, maybe just this one time my sisters were right. But don't tell them that!", Lincoln spoke.
A/N: And there, you have it. Looks like things might start looking up for him between him and Ronnie Anne sooner or later. It's just a matter of time. :) And now, for "Gargoyles: A New Age."