So here we are at chapter 5! I'm hoping to get a more consistent schedule for these but I am making no promises!

Disclaimer- I own nothing except for Nessa and a very annoying cat!

"So, if spring training goes well, we could be moving to Florida!" Mom almost shouted in my ear. Of course she demanded to know every detail of my 'Brush with death' as she called it. I decided to omit the part where Edward saved me, I didn't want her talking to Charlie and putting me in a mental asylum. I smiled as I worked on my homework while she kept talking in my ear.

"Please insert a dollar twenty five for an additional three minutes." I heard an automotive voice say.

I laughed a bit, "Mom, where's your cell?"

"Okay, you can't laugh!" She warned me as she put in more money. "I didn't lose my charger! It ran away!" I laughed a bit. "Screaming! I repel technology now!" She sighed.

I kept laughing, "You always do, mother."

"Oh shut up smartass! So how are kids at your school?" She asked, pivoting the conversation back to me.

I sighed, "They're...they're fine."

"Any cute guys?" She asked, laughing. 'If only you knew.'

I sighed again, trying not to reveal too much. The last thing I needed was to get relationship advice from the self-proclaimed 'All knowing love expert.' "N..Not really."

I could tell she knew I was lying, but she must've decided to let it go. "Well I'm sure you're too good for them anyway." She tried to build me up.

I shook my head even though she couldn't see, I had a bad habit of doing that. "Or maybe I don't deserve them…" I whisper, mostly to myself.

"Bella…" Mom sighed, we'd been down this road before. She'd known about my low self-esteem ever since I was 10. She finally put me in therapy when I was 13, it helped somewhat but eventually I stopped going for whatever reason. 'Maybe I should go back with all these stressors.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep a brave face for Mom. "Look it doesn't matter right now."

She sighed, "Yes it does! Honey..."

I closed my eyes, trying not to break. I had to get off the phone with her quickly before I started tearing up. My depression hit at seemingly odd times and I tried not to drag my mother into it. "L..Look, I have some homework to do, I gotta go."

"Alright baby, I love you." She said with a smile in her voice.

I smiled softly, despite myself. "I love you too mom." We hung up and I laid down on the bed.

I looked over at my piano longingly. I took a deep breath and got up, walking to my sheet music box. I looked through my depression folder and found one of my new pieces. I sat down at the piano and started playing softly. Charlie was still at the office so I didn't wake him up. I smiled softly and started singing softly to whomever would listen.

"Dancing bears, painted wings
Things I almost remember
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory."

As I started to play the interlude, I started thinking about Edward and how he acted when he saved me. Why did he do it? He could've just let me die, it would've been easier. Who would have missed me right? 'You know Charlie and mom would miss you. And so would Angela and Nessarose. Stop thinking like that!'

"Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember
Things my heart used to know
Things it yearns to remember

And a song someone sings
Once upon a December."

I played the last notes and sighed softly as I turned off my piano. I went back to my bed and put my homework away, knowing it wouldn't get done. I laid down and turned off my lamp. I knew I was gonna have to text Nessa soon about maybe seeing each other over summer break before spending Christmas together. We talked a couple times after I got to Forks but with Charlie, Angela, and now these freaking Cullen's, I haven't had time to talk to her. I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping to get some relief in my dreams.

I was back in the woods again, running...Gee, where have I seen this before? But this time was different, I wasn't running from something. I was chasing something, or someone. I had no idea what I was doing but as in my last dream, something told me not to stop. I broke through the trees and saw I was standing on a cliff, I looked below me, an ocean. "What the hell is going on?" I asked out loud, in the same bell-like voice as my other dream. I looked down at my dress and this time, I was in a short black dress, ripped up, bloody tights and red spiked heels. 'How the hell can I run in these things? And why are my legs covered in blood?'

I heard a noise behind me before I could think about it too much. I turned around and saw a man walk up to me. I thought to run but my legs wouldn't obey me, it seemed like my body knew who this person was and trusted them. He got closer and closer but I couldn't see his face. All I saw was a smile, a genuine smile. I blinked and suddenly he was gone. I gasped, looking around before I felt a pair of hands turn me around. In the moonlight, I saw Edward's face, still smiling at me. "Caught you, my love." I heard him whisper.

I shot up from my bed to come face to face with Edward again! Wait what?! Why the hell was Cullen in my room?! "What the fuck?!" I whispered and turned around to turn my lamp on. I looked back and he was gone. 'Am I going completely insane?! Why in the world would Edward Cullen come into your room? To watch you sleep? That can't be that interesting. And if he was, stalker alert!' I turned off my light and went back to bed. The rest of the night were free of dreams, thank god!

"Okay guys! I need your permission slips!" I heard Mr. Cawthon yell out to the class. All the Biology kids were outside waiting to go on a field trip to an outdoor greenery and of course Edward, Alice, and Jasper were going as well. I was leaning against my truck with Wish I Were Here from Next to Normal playing loudly in my ear and Edward on my mind. I noticed earlier when I parked that I was in the same spot as yesterday. 'Life seems to be playing a cruel joke on me.' I closed my eyes and just listened to Diana and Natalie go through their highs

"Plug me in and turn me on,

And flip the switch, I'm good as gone.

It slits my skin, and trips my brain.

I feel the burn, but I don't feel the pain!"

I saw Mike Netwen walk up to me and I pulled out my headphones "Hey Mike." I smile politely.

"Hey Bell, look at you!" He smiled "You're alive!" He yelled, trying to channel Colin Clive from Frankenstein.

I laughed a bit, embarrassed about how loud he was being. "Yeah...No funeral today…"

He smiled wider. "Actually, I'm glad you're not dead 'cause - well, that would suck, plus I wanted to ask you - even though it's, like, a month away…"

I stopped listening as I noticed Edward staring at us. I stared back, just wanting to go up to him and give him a snide comment about how rude it is to stare at people…..even though I was guilty of it as I'm sure he would point out . He suddenly turned his attention to Mike, acting like he could hear what he was saying. 'Bella, you're going crazier than usual. Edward, his brother, and his sister are on the other side of the bus, he couldn't possibly be able to hear us!' My inner monologue chastised me.

"...So what do you think?" Mike suddenly asked.

I turned my attention back to him "Of what?" He smiled awkwardly. 'Oops, probably should've paid attention, huh Bell?'

"Do you wanna go….to prom...with me?" He asked brokenly.

My eyebrows shot up, 'Prom? Dancing? With Mike? Hell no! Wait, gotta be nice Bella!' "Uhh...I would love to...but I can't...I'm gonna be in Jacksonville that weekend." 'Yeah...that's it!'

His face shot down "You can't go another weekend?" He asked, seemingly as a last resort.

"Non-refundable ticket." I shot back quickly. He looked down, saddened. I sighed and looked around. My eyes fell on Jessica near Mr. Cawthon. 'Wait! Didn't Jess like Mike? Oh this is perfect!' "Maybe you can ask Jess to go with you!" I suddenly sprung. He looked up and at Jess. "I'm sure she would love to go." I half smiled, 'Guess it's my turn to play matchmaker.' He nodded and walked off to the bus. I looked over at Edward. He was smirking as he got on the bus. What is he so smug about? Whatever. I threw my bag into my truck and started walking to the other bus. I put back in

"Can I hide my stupid hunger,

Fake some confidence and cheer?

Wish I were here,

Wish I were here."

"C'mon, Eric, stuff that compost down deep... that's it…" Mr. Cawthon instructed as we walked through the greenhouse. Eric was playing in the dirt while Tyler (Who I found out was the guy that hit me yesterday) was holding a cup. "... Now Tyler has a big, steaming cup of 'compost tea.' This is recycling at its most basic level - hey, don't drink that!" Mr. Cawthon yelled at him. I felt so bad for him, having to deal with a bunch of morons.

As I was walking around, I suddenly saw Edward alone. I decided to go for broke and walked up to him "Hey Edward…" I said softly. He looked at me and stiffly nodded. I looked down and saw his fist clenching. Seriously? Is he gonna try and punch me or something? "Rude…" I said under my breath and decided to just walk away. 'So much for trying to make peace.'

"What's in Jacksonville?" He suddenly asked. Wait what? How the hell would he know about that? I just made that up with him at least 10 feet away!

"How do you know about that?" I asked, turning back around.

"That didn't answer my question." He shot back. 'Oh! Like you answer any of mine!'

"Why should I answer you when you don't answer me?" I shot back at full force, "You won't even give me a simple hello."

"Hello." He said simply. I rolled my eyes. God what a fucking jackass!

"And how did you stop that van?" I asked.

He sighed. "It's called an adrenaline rush, very common, Google it." He lied quickly. 'Does he think I'm an idiot? Time for The Bella Swan Sass!'

"Floridians. That's what's in Jacksonville." I shot at him. I turned to get away from him but I accidentally stepped on my shoelace and tripped a bit. Edward caught me but quickly shoved me away.

"It helps if you actually watch where you put your feet!" He glared at me. 'Seriously! What the fuck was this boy's problem?!' I kept walking, just wanting to get away from him but he kept following me. "Look, I know I've been rude, but it's for the best." He explained. I looked over at him. What the hell is he talking about?!

I opened my mouth to ask but Jessica flew at me "Bella! Guess who just asked me to prom?!" She asked excitedly. I smiled, an excuse to escape Mr. Grouchy Cullen. He walked off quickly, I so wanted to just flip him off behind him but I stayed decent for Jess's sake. "I so thought Mike was gonna ask you!" Jessica continued when I didn't answer. "It won't be weird right?"

I laughed a bit. "Nope. Zero weirdness. You guys look great together!"

She laughed. "I know right?! Angela!" She rushed over to her. I shook my head and walked outside.

Tyler, Mike and Eric were torturing some of the other girls with worms washed up from the rain as I walked to the bus.

"Bella! It's a worm!" Eric shoved the worm in my face. "It's a worm!" He continued.

I pushed it away, smirking. "Congratulations Eric, you passed first grade science!" I sarcastically clapped for him. The other boys laughed at him as I continued towards the bus.

I saw out of the corner of my eye Edward walking fast to me, "Bella, it would be better if we weren't friends anymore."

I stopped and turned around, we were friends? "I don't understand you, why didn't you just let the van crush me? It would've saved you a bunch of time and regret!"

Edward's hands clenched up again. He looked pissed, almost as pissed as the day he met me. "You think I regret saving you?" He snapped at me.

'Think? Are you kidding me?!' "I know that you do!" I snapped back.

He got closer to me and glared at me. "You don't know anything."

I moved back a bit, hurt by his words. I then saw Alice and Jasper walk up to us. "Edward, Mr. Cawthon said we're leaving soon." He nodded quickly .She turned to me, suddenly smiling. "Are you sitting with us?"

Edward answered quickly. "No. Our bus is full." He walked away quickly. Alice and Jasper looked at me with a hint of guilt and turned to follow him. I went to my bus and sighed. I looked out the window and closed my eyes.

I got into the house and threw my backpack onto the counter, still annoyed with what Edward said. Charlie was sitting at the table cleaning his gun while drinking, that's safe. "Your mom called….again…"

I smiled a bit as I got some water, "Your fault for telling her about the accident."

He sighed, "Yeah she always knew how to worry." He said, looking over at a picture of their wedding on the fridge. "But she has changed though, she seems happier."

I nodded, looking over at the picture with him. "Phil seems like a nice guy." Charlie added quietly.

I put the glass into the dishwasher and leaned against the counter. "Yeah he is." I sighed and went upstairs.

I sat down on the bed and pulled out my phone. I dialed Nessa's number, needing to talk to her again. "Hello?" A quiet voice answered.

"Hey love, what up?" I fired at her.

I heard a small gasp "Bella! Oh my God! How have you been?! How's Forks?!" She shot a million questions at me.

"Calm down bitch!" I shot back.

"You know, I thought Forks would make you a nicer person!" She teased.

"Oh baby, nothing will make me into a nicer person." I could feel her glaring at me.

"Bitch!" She yelled at me.

"Jerk!" I yelled back and we laughed. We talked for a couple hours about school, her new boyfriend, my problems with Edward (Omitting the part where he pushed the van away of course), musicals, just a bunch of random shit.

"So anyway, you and Angela would get along great!"

She laughed "I bet we would! I can't wait to meet her!"

I sighed, "I can't wait to see you during Christmas break!"

She laughed again. "We'll have to try and see each other during the summer!"

I smiled. "No kidding! But you're coming here! I never want to do a summer there ever again!"

She laughed, "Deal!"

I heard her dad yell at her. "Hey Bells, I gotta go!"

I smiled. "Okay girl! I love you!"

"I love you too Bella!" She yelled back and hung up as her dad started yelling.

I sighed and got into pj's quickly. I looked out the window, wishing I could see Nessa again sooner than summer. I opened my window to let some cool air in and went back to bed, just wanting today to be over. I plugged my phone and let Next to Normal lull me to sleep.

"What happens if the medicine wasn't really in control?
What happens if the cut, the burn, the break was never in my brain,
or in my blood, but in my soul?

What happens if the cut, the burn, the break was never in my brain,
or in my blood, but in my soul?"

Well there we go! Please review as they really help keep me motivated!

Songs used- Once Upon a December- Anastasia

Wish I Were Here- Next to Normal

The Break- Next to Normal