Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground – Part 2
When Lily pushed the nursery door open with a slight creak, Clay was standing with his back to her, leaning over the crib at the other end of the room. "You can stop hovering, Mom," he said quietly, without turning around. "He's finally asleep."
"That sounds like Mom, alright." Lily watched him stiffen in shock, his fingers squeezing the safety rail of the crib before he turned around. Clay had their mother's blue eyes, but while Lily had seen Marie's shining with compassion and concern just moments ago, her brother's looked tortured right now. "Hey, you," she whispered, crossing the room as quickly as she could without making too much noise.
"Flo…but how?" His shocked voice was so hushed that Lily had to lean in very close to make out the words, but she took advantage of the moment to squeeze him tightly. "What are you doing here?"
"Did you really think Mom wouldn't call me?" she challenged affectionately, the pain in his eyes expanding the lump in her throat. "I love you, ducky."
"I'm not two years old anymore, Lils," he protested half-heartedly, but didn't object to the firm hug, bending over her shoulders to cling harder.
"You started it, dude," she said. "Two or twenty-five, you're my little brother forever. Flo was your first word because my friends were so unoriginal they used to call me Flower. Ring any bells?"
"Not really," Clay shrugged. "That's weird, Petunia is a flower too."
"I guess you had good taste from a young age," Lily joked, but he wouldn't smile. "Does Tuney know?" she pressed hesitantly, wishing she hadn't when his expression darkened.
"She told Mom she can't leave her family right now," he muttered. "If her jerkface of a husband can get that kind of loyalty I don't want her here anyway."
But with every word of that resentful statement he was shaking and Lily squeezed his fingers hard; "I'm sorry, honey." She frowned when he resisted her attempts to tug him out of the nursery. "Clay…you need to take a break," she urged. "Logan is fast asleep, he's fine right now."
"Well I'm not," he choked and Lily knew that something inside him had finally snapped when he moved towards the armchair in the corner and pushed the giant stuffed panda bear occupying it to the floor before flopping down on it himself. "How am I supposed to take care of him by myself? Sara and I were a team. I don't know how to do this without her!"
Biting her lip, Lily knelt down on the floor at his feet and tugged Clay's hands away from his face. "Nobody knows how to deal with a situation this tragic from day one, sweetie," she said gently. "But you don't have to figure it out by yourself. You've got me and Mom and Sara's parents eventually I imagine. What happened will never be fair but you'll get through it, I promise."
"Thanks for trying," he said disbelievingly. "I've missed you, Lils." With a strained smile she straightened up and perched on the armrest of the chair.
"I'll be around as long as you want," she promised. When their mother peeked into the nursery a little while later, she saw her two grown kids squashed into the armchair in the corner, Lily's head grazing her brother's shoulder and his shaking hands clinging to hers as if his life depended on it.
"Hey kids, who's hungry?" Marie asked finally, the second time she checked on them to find their positions unchanged, except for the fact that Lily was nearly asleep on Clay's shoulder. "Jetlag still exists, love," she pointed out at the flustered look on her daughter's face when she jerked upright. "The circumstances suck but having you two under the same roof again does the old heart good." Her gaze drifted to Clay who was staring at the crib again with a horribly blank expression. When Lily got to her feet and stretched, Marie moved towards him and stroked his hair tenderly. "I made your favorite pancakes," she told him. "Breakfast for dinner, that's how badly I want you to eat something right now. Please?"
"But Mom, he's…," Clay protested, trailing off at the skeptical look on Lily's face.
"Fast asleep," Marie finished. "We'll be right outside, kid, that's why baby monitors were invented."
"She did say please," Lily added and Clay scowled at her in frustration.
"I liked you better asleep," he said, getting to his feet with a sigh. "Fine, you win."
"As usual," Lily smirked, holding out her hand to him. "Come on, I don't know about you but I'm starving."
There was a subdued silence when the siblings settled around the wooden table in the living room. Lily watched Clay intently while he dribbled syrup onto his pancakes. "I thought you were starving?" he reminded her, picking unenthusiastically at his plate.
"Right, of course." She followed suit with the syrup but never took her eyes off his haunted gaze. "I brought Jessica with me," she said conversationally, at a loss for anything else to say. "It was James' idea, they're still close."
"Wow," he said softly. "How did she take the news?"
"Not that much better than you to be honest," Lily admitted. "It's a shocking thing to happen and they were best friends all through college. She's devastated but she also cares a lot about you, you know."
"Sweet girl," Clay said fondly and Lily nodded her agreement. All the while Marie was watching him slowly eating the syrupy pancake and finally Clay turned to her in exasperation; "Mom, would you please quit staring? It's going, see? Slowly but surely, you're the one always saying not to gobble."
"I'm sorry," she said, shrugging defensively. "You haven't eaten since we got back from the hospital, I worry about you."
"I have a perfectly valid reason to not be hungry," he pointed out, on full alert for any sound from the nursery, she could tell. "Kind of distracted here."
"You're going to need your strength tomorrow, kid," his mother argued, undeterred by the stubborn tone. "You can bet I'll do whatever it takes to get those pancakes into you. We'll all been through the massive funeral situation before, after all. I doubt you've really forgotten about that, so don't fight me on this."
Her voice broke and Clay frowned at the subtle reminder of his father's death. "Mom, I…" he started apologetically, but was interrupted by Lily's cell phone vibrating so violently it almost fell over the edge of the table.
She had been watching the budding argument with a serious expression and saved her phone from going crashing to the floor with a relieved look at the timing. "It's James," she said, swiping the touchscreen to answer the call. "Hi honey."
"He doesn't sleep without you, or what?" Clay marveled, checking his watch. "It's like 3 a.m. or something in England right now."
"Hush up, you," Lily laughed, making a face at her brother. "It's nice to be missed." To James she added; "Yeah, Clay is amazed that you're calling this late. What have you been up to?"
"Trying to get your daughter to go back to sleep," her husband groaned, sounding exhausted. "I love the girl but ever since we realized her summer vacation starts literally next week she's been going on about missing out on this trip."
"She's awake now?" Lily demanded. "Give her the phone, right now! Crazy girl."
"I love you too, Lils," he joked, faking offence at her one-track mind. "Hope you all get through tonight okay. Here's the little menace now."
"Hi Mummy," came Louisa's sheepish voice seconds later.
"Was I too quick to call you an angel, kid?" Lily asked. "You were supposed to listen to Daddy while I'm gone, not be awake at three in the morning."
"I'm sorry, Mum," she said quietly. "I just really wanted to make sure you passed on my present properly. I promise I'll go back to sleep if you let me talk to Uncle Clay."
"You're good, kiddo," Lily admitted. "Sure this isn't just a bargaining chip to put off sleeping at a decent hour?"
"Mum, I'm serious," her daughter protested and Lily could picture her pouting face in the tone of her voice.
"I believe you," she said affectionately. "Promise you'll go to sleep after that, okay?"
"I promise," repeated Louisa solemnly and Lily handed the phone to Clay.
"Since you're not interested in the pancakes, could you please talk to my kid so she goes to sleep?" she begged. "And tell her I'm taking good care of you while you're at it."
"Sure I can," Clay nodded, taking the phone from her. "Hey squirt, what the hell are you doing awake?"
"Uncle Clay!" she squealed, choosing not to answer the question. "Did Mummy give you the big hug from me?"
"She sure did," he assured her. "More than one in fact. Thanks for letting me borrow her for a little while."
"Anytime," Louisa giggled. "Did she tell you what else I said last night when she told me she had to go?"
"Ooh, she slipped up," he said mock-seriously; "What else was there? You can tell me yourself now."
"I told her Aunt Sara was your favorite person in the whole world. So of course I had to let her come and help because you're my favorite, okay? I just needed to say that. Can I be your person now? Like Meredith and Cristina on Grey's Anatomy. You know that show?"
"I…I've heard of it," Clay told her, struggling to speak around the lump swelling in his throat. "Aren't you a little young for that kind of thing, kid?"
"It's so bad for me, I love it," Louisa told him. "That doesn't answer my question: Will you let me be your person next time you need one?"
"That doesn't even need to be a question," he replied thickly. "You have always been my person, squirt. I love you, Lulu."
"Awesome!" she cheered; "I love you too. Try not to be sad, okay? You still have a person now, see?"
"Go to sleep, smarty pants," he choked; "Good talk…thanks, baby. I miss you."
"Stupid school," she sighed dramatically. "Goodnight, say bye to Mummy for me."
Before he could even agree, Louisa had hung up and Clay exhaled deeply as he handed Lily her phone back. She watched him with deep frown lines creasing her forehead; "How do you feel?" she pressed.
"Very in love with your kid," he said fondly, but Lily could see the lingering despair in his eyes, unshakeable even before a long wail rang out from the direction of the nursery. "Logan," he whispered and lurched towards the source of the noise, his half-eaten pancakes forgotten.
A / N A little shorter this time but it felt like a good place to stop since this one is sad but overall sweeter than the next one will be, angst ahoy! xx