Midnight Cravings with Friends:

Honestly, you shouldn't have been downstairs. You should have been back upstairs with your husband sleeping like a baby (pun intended) before you were inevitably woken up because of some sort of problem, whether it was from the boys and Cassie or from your sudden urge to throw up. You should have been doing that.

Not...sitting in the kitchen with almost every light turned off, reaching forward to grab a jug of your favorite ice cream and the biggest spoon you could find. You really shouldn't have been doing that.

It wasn't like it could be helped. After the entire family (and those who were connected to the family, like the Gordons and the Kents) learned about your pregnancy, you and your kids had sat down and learned everything you could about what pregnancies would be like. Tim crafted a beautiful list of things to expect and at number two, right underneath morning sickness, was 'Odd and Disgusting Cravings'.

"My ice cream is not disgusting," you grunted to yourself as you managed to nab the carton and close the freezer door with your elbow. "It is an acquired taste." Your ice cream was delicious, in your opinion. In the opinion of your husband, sons, and daughter? Not so much.

You turned around and navigated your way through the chairs and counters and the island so you were back in the foyer. You made your way across the floor, carefully minding each of the squeaky wooden floorboards so you would not wake up the sleeping giants in the Manor (i.e. Damian). You were just about to head into the living room to watch a rerun of your favorite TV show when you heard a light knock on the door.

Your blood froze and you paused, holding your breath. You knew for a fact that it couldn't be Alfred; he was on a holiday to go visit a distant cousin of his who was sick. Damian, Tim, and Cassandra were all in their bedrooms asleep (the last time you checked) and your husband was still asleep up in the bedroom. It also couldn't be Dick or Jason; both were keeping busy with protecting their cities, though they both made time to give you a call every once and awhile.

You gulped, but made your way to the door anyways. You took one deep breath, centering yourself for whatever mayhem you might experience as soon as you looked through the peephole. Once that was done, you looked through and saw a face you didn't imagine would be on the other side.

There, in the distortion of the peephole, was none other than Miss Harley Quinn.

"Hey Batmomma! Whatcha waiting for? It's time to party!"

You yanked the door open and snuck yourself outside, ignoring the freezing temperatures. You pushed the door shut quickly and turned to look at Harley with a frustrated expression. "What are you doing here?"

"A little birdie told me that my favorite Bat was gonna have a pup, so how could I not show up?" Harley teased, gently poking you in the arm. You sighed and shook your head, but you couldn't help but smile.

You and Harley Quinn becoming friends wasn't what you would expect to have happen from a kidnapping situation turned sour, but connect you did. It was a typical situation. You were kidnapped by some random goons who wanted to extort your husband for his money, not realizing that he was the Batman. What no one had planned on was Harley Quinn crashing the party just for kicks and giggles. Apparently the goons had worked for her darling little "Puddin'" before they decided to go rogue. The Joker had sent Harley to clean things up. And when she saw you, she recognized you as a hostage.

You were eternally grateful that the sane part of her brain came out victorious because she took the goons down by herself and set you free. Ever since then, you and Harley met up once a month, just to check in on the other. You tried to help her mental stability and she gave you the lowdown of what was happening in Gotham's underground, just in case some of it needed to be stopped by "The Batman". She didn't know that you were Mrs. Wayne, wife to Bruce Wayne who was Batman. She simply thought that you were Batmom, the wife to Batman. How she hadn't put two and two together, you didn't know. But you were thankful for it, nonetheless. She was your go-to female friend was Stephanie, Barbara, and Cassandra are all busy.

"I can honestly say I'm surprised that you know what the offspring of a bat is called," you told her honestly, laughing at her pouting expression.

"Google wasn't created for just goofing off," Harley replied. "I came bearing a message: the girls want to have a 'get-together' and I volunteered tonight."

Your eyes widened and you looked back towards the house then back at Harley. "Harley, I can't go tonight!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Cuz you got a date with Ben and Jerry's?" She gestured to the ice cream that you were still holding in your hands.

You cradled the ice cream close to your chest as a blush worked its way onto your face. "It is not…! Ugh, whatever. Point is, I can't just disappear! Since you know about…" Another blush came to your face, "...the pup...you know how my family is going to be! Batman doesn't even know that I'm awake right now."

"Perfect, so he won't be around to care!" Harley cheered and you rolled your eyes.

"Not the point, Harley. They're so overprotective!"

"Which is why you need some girl time," Harley stated, overenunciating every word. "Don't worry. I'll leave the Bats a note and everything. It'll be alright."

You took a deep breath and let it all out in one quick rush. "Alright. Give me ten minutes. I'll meet you at the end of the road."

"No way, Batmomma," Harley interrupted, shaking her head. "Just because I'm taking you out of the overprotective Bat's reach does not mean you are off the hook. You aren't going anywhere without an escort the moment you walk outta here." She rolled her eyes this time towards you. "Why'da think I'm here? I could've just sent a text."

You couldn't come up with a way to respond to that so you just turned and walked back into the Manor, listening to Harley's giggles as you went.

"This is a bad idea."

"You've said that already, honey," Harley snapped, rolling her eyes at you. A few minutes after you left with Harley from the Manor, you were in a Sedan with people you never would have expected to get together to celebrate your baby. Apparently, the "girls" consisted of Harley, yourself, Pamela Isley (also known as Poison Ivy) and Selina Kyle (also known as Catwoman). You were sitting in the middle row of the sedan, Pam (as she insisted you call her) sitting down next to you. Selina was driving and Harley was sitting in the passenger seat.

"Come on," Harley added, leaning around her seat to look at you. "You got to live a little."

"Not when I got an extra passenger!" you hissed in return, gesturing roughly to your stomach. You knew that the three women were not as inclined to take their revenge out on Batman by hurting his family, but you knew that they knew people who would not be so hesitant.

You heard a sigh beside you and you glanced to your left, where Pam was reclining in her seat. You frowned at her and she returned the glance with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "So overprotective...Harley doesn't mean that we are going out clubbing." She rolled her eyes. "We know who you are and we know who you are...commonly associated with. We aren't going to risk that for you."

Sniffing haughtily, you leaned back in your seat, folding your arms across your chest. "This qualifies as kidnapping."

"You came willingly, honey," Selina added, turning the wheel smoothly to get you all moving away from Wayne Manor and closer to central Gotham. "Can't be considered kidnapping if there's consent."

You let out a breath. They were right (as usual, but you wouldn't ever let them know that). You rubbed your hands over your eyes and apologized, "I'm sorry. It's just...mood swings. They are killing me. And cravings too. I was just about to have some of my favorite ice cream when you guys showed up."

Surprisingly, Pam cooed in acknowledgement and sympathy beside her. "How's the morning sickness gone?"

You groaned, loud and proud, and flopped your head back against the headrest. "Don't you mean how's it going, because it never stops. Ever. I can barely eat anything these days without feeling sick to my stomach." You popped your head back up, feeling a sense of insecurity in your stomach. "Is that normal?"

"Everyone's pregnancies are different, Batmomma," sniffed Harley. "But from the little experience I have in the child-birthing department, I can safely say that you will have a lower chance of miscarriages later on in the pregnancy." She glanced at Selina and wiggled her eyebrows. "Learned that one during my last stint in Arkham."

"How far along are you?" Selina asked, rolling her eyes at Harley's behavior, and you shrugged.

"We haven't gotten around to scheduling an appointment yet," you explained. "Al…" You paused, your mind scurrying for a quick name. "Um...A friend of mine is supposed to schedule it in the morning." Selina suddenly took a hard right and you blessed the heavens that you took safety seriously and was wearing your seatbelt, otherwise you would have flown straight into Pam's lap. "If I can make it that long."

"Don't be ridiculous, Honey," sniffed Harley. "Oh look! We're here!"

"Where is here?" you grumbled, glancing out the side of the sedan to check out your surroundings. You felt your stomach jump into your throat as you glanced around. You were in the dead center of Gotham, you were familiar with the territory, and in front of you was the largest tree you had ever seen. Which could only mean one thing.

You looked at Pam with a tired and exasperated look. You whined, "Seriously? You had to make your treehouse in that thing?" When Pam shrugged, you frowned. "I hate heights."

Despite your initial misgiving, you found yourself really enjoying the night out. It was like a spa day, except with the three most deadly women in all of Gotham. Pam had some herbal face creams that she had created herself (toxin-free, she assured you) that made your skin feel like silk, Harley painted your nails and Selina gave you a massage that made you feel like liquid. You hummed in appreciation as Selina worked on your shoulders, working on a particularly tight knot in between your shoulder blades. "This is nice. Like, this is really nice."

"Course it is, sugar," teased Harley, her tongue sticking out in the corner of her mouth as she tried to paint more "Batman Black" onto your small toe with utter perfection. "We weren't just kidnapping you without a purpose."

"We can only imagine how tiring a life with a Bat-husband and 5 batty children can be," Selina purred, growling in frustration as she continued to knead your back. "Stupid little knot does not want to come out!"

"Batman gets frustrated the same way," you chuckled, rolling your eyes. "I love it when he gives me massages, but he gets too frustrated when I'm tense and usually it's Nightwing or Robin who takes over if they are around."

"Men," sniffed Pam, tutting lightly.

Just then, your phone rang, disrupting the peaceful environment that was existing between the four of you. It also caused Harley to smudge your toenail. She humphed angrily and sent a sharp glare towards your phone. If looks could kill, your phone would be dead as a doornail. You sent an apologetic look towards Harley, a look that said 'I will fix it, calm down', and reached over to snatch up your phone, glancing at the Caller ID. Thankfully, only Selina was behind you so it didn't shock her to see Bruce Wayne pop up. She, out of the group of female villains, knew of Batman's true identity.

"It's Batman," you explained, wincing as Harley scrubbed heavily against your toe to try and fix the fingernail she messed up. "I gotta take this."

You hit the 'Answer' button and held the phone up to your ear, placing a single finger against your lips to signal the girls to be quiet. You answered, "Hello?"

"Honey," you heard Bruce breath in relief on the other side of the phone. "You're okay."

"Yes?" you drawled, raising an eyebrow in worry. "Why wouldn't you think I was…?" You held a hand against the bottom of your phone and hissed at Harley, "What did you do?"

Harley's only answer was a shrug and a devious grin.

"Well, I wake up in the morning with the Fool tarot card taped to my face and a message that said, 'The girls and I have taken your sweet Batmomma, you won't see here again for a while'," Bruce said, his voice tight. You felt a sharp kick in your stomach (it was too early to be the baby) and you sighed.

"I'm sorry," you whispered to him, feeling tears pop to your eyes. You hated making Bruce worry. Even though your family caused so much worry in you in their nightly activities, you tried your best not to return the favor. "I knew it was a bad idea, but…" You sighed, taking a shaky breath. "I-I...I just didn't want to bother you guys for a while, and it's been a few months since I was able to hang out with women my age…"

"Are you safe?"

"Yes," you sniffed, rubbing your eyes. Selina squeezed your shoulder reassuringly and gestured for Pam and Harley and herself to leave. They all walked off to the other side of the house, towards the kitchen while you were still in the living room. "Yes, I'm plenty safe. Harley refused to leave me alone; she held my arm and walked me down the entire drive to get to the car."

"Were you enjoying yourself before I called?"

You nodded. "I was. I know you don't trust them as well, but they are really sweet women when they aren't trying to tear Gotham down. It's me, Selina, Harley, and Pamela Isley," you purposefully said her full name just to give Bruce no doubt that you were talking about Poison Ivy, "and they were giving me their own little spa treatment. They might be more excited about the baby than we are." You chuckled at your own joke.

"I doubt that, Honey, but if you say so," Bruce hummed. "You probably have an hour or so left of darkness, so if you want them to take you home, you might need to leave soon."

"Got it," you said, nodding. You paused, then whispered lightly, "Thank you, Bruce. I know how big of a step this is, and I'm thankful that you are trusting me with this."

"Of course, Honey," Bruce responded, and you could hear a smile in his voice. It made you smile. "It's not like I have Tim and Damian watching your every move or something."

His teasing tone made you believe he was only joking, but somehow you weren't entirely sure. You stood up and stomped over to the window, sticking your head out. You ignored the dizzying height below you (the window was right outside a big drop) and squinted off into the distance. You could faintly see two distinct red figures eyeing you from a distant rooftop.

"Honey?" you heard Bruce ask you from the phone. You shushed him and cupped your hands over your mouth.

"You two need to get a life!" you shouted, giggling as you heard the outrageous replies that your boys tried to respond with before you stepped back inside and closed the window. Into the phone, you said, "That was really not necessary."

"Next time I'm missing from bed, I'll pretend that I don't find Alfred staring over my shoulder glaring at me in the middle of the night in the Batcave."

"When you say you're done with work, you should be done with work!" you huffed, rolling your eyes to the girls as they slowly reentered the room. "I'll be home soon, alright?"

"Yes, hun. I can recall Tim and Damian if it really bugs you."

"Even if it did irritate me, you wouldn't. Safety before pleasure."

"Words to live by."

"See you soon."

"See you soon."

You hung out with the girls for a couple more minutes before you decided it was time to return home. You swapped numbers with all the girls (giving them your "Batmom" mobile number that was in no way connected to your real life) and thanked them all for a ride. You were dropped off at the Manor just as the sun was rising. It rose behind the Manor, casting a shadow over the front drive. In a way, even Mother Nature was helping to keep your day life a secret.

As you walked into the Manor, you were tackled-hug by both of your sons, Tim and Damian. You giggled and hugged them tightly, slightly wondering how they were able to beat you and the girls home.

"You are not as funny as you think you are," Damian huffed, smashing his face into the side of your torso. You snickered, running your fingers through his dark locks.

"Course not," you amended, rolling your eyes towards Tim, which caused him to grin. "Because that would be unacceptable."

"Of course."

You dropped a kiss onto both of their heads before shooing them off to get change and to sleep, since it was blessedly a Saturday. They left you in the foyer, pushing each other and generally teasing the other, just as Bruce walked down the stairs. He was already dressed in a suit, though his tie wasn't tied just yet. You moved towards him, smiling lightly.

"How you managed to survive without me is astonishing, really," you teased him, reaching up to quickly tie his tie. Bruce didn't say anything but he allowed you to continue messing with his tie until it was tied to perfection. "There. One day, you will learn how to do this."

"Maybe I already do," suggested Bruce, and you raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Maybe I just like to pretend that I don't know so I can keep you close."

Bruce snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you close and you laughed at how absurd it was and how cheesy it was but how you it was. You two were so in sync and it was moments like that that you knew how much he truly cared for you.

You giggled and stood up on your tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss. "Very funny. Now step aside, this little lady and her passenger need to get some sleep." You laughed at his pouting expression and gently patted him on the cheek to try and reconcile him.

You stepped aside and started to walk up the stairs when you paused, letting out a loud frustrated growl of annoyance.

You could hear Bruce pause and turn to look at you. You already knew without looking at him what his emotions were: concerned and startled. "Honey...you doing okay?"

"I never got to eat my ice cream."

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the late chapter! So much junk has happened in the last week, including but not limited to a bunch of school projects, my sibling having to get tested for COVID (we're safe, thank goodness!), Thanksgiving, and a sudden lack of inspiration and writer's block. I'm never one to be like "Y'ALL NEED TO REVIEW OR ELSE" but I have to admit that it can be a little disheartening to not see a review. Know in no means that this is a cry for reviews: you review if you wanna and nothing I say will influence you. I'm cool with that. I know y'all like it cuz you've favorited or followed (so thank you to all the fans who have discovered this).

That being said, the lovely Ju was the first person to review (in fact, like hours ago), and their review was the reason I got inspiration to post this chapter. I was just going to give up on the weekly posting altogether because the lack of inspiration hit me so hard. I'm really actually running out of ideas, or, at least, motivation to write said ideas. Also, apologies for it being shorter. Next chapter should probably be longer then this.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and please, please, please be careful on Black Friday if any of you are thinking about shopping. I don't want any of you to be getting sick, you hear? Hope you enjoy this chapter.

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