So, I took some creative liberties in regard to the lore and worldbuilding of the Monster Hunter Universe. Things like the 7 Gods, Wyverian Century are things I made up for the sake of clarity. I hope you readers liked this addition.
With that in regard, I also made some changes to the chapter in comparison to my original story. The battle is made far clearer and I think I handled the action scene well. I also incorporated Eris' past much early on since one of my criticisms was that the backstory happened too late. I hope you readers enjoyed this change I made.
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 3
"Huh, well whaddya know…"
"Hunters. It seems they've set up camp here."
The brothers had stumbled upon Siegfried and Eris' camp as they made their way up the tower. Curiosity had taken over them as they had decided to follow the Silver Rathalos up the tower.
"Do you think they're still here?"
The taller brother shook his head, "No. The campfire has been put out, which means they must have already left to hunt." He noticed the numerous Remobra flying around and frowned, aware of how annoying those Snake Wyverns were. He growled and sent a warning glare to the small wyverns.
"Piss off."
The wyverns hissed at him but nonetheless received the message and flew away.
"Perhaps we could- "
"No." the taller brother snapped, jabbing his brother on the shoulder. "You will not enter that tent, understand?"
"But- "
"Romero!"
"Fine…"
Rowan sighed. Having to deal with his brother's stubborn and often immature antics ever since they were children was tiresome. To think they were both 21-year-old adults and yet his younger brother still acted as if he were only 16. Being the wiser one of the two, he was often the voice of reason and contrary to what one might think, he was rather humble and modest.
A stark contrast to every other G-Rank hunter, whose egos were as big, if not bigger than their own weapons. His twin brother Romero unfortunately, fell into the latter.
"Sometimes I wonder if we really are twins after all…" was what he would often mutter to himself whenever he had to drag his brother away from a precarious situation.
In retrospect, the two of them were only twins in looks. Both sported identical looking, slightly messy brown hair, yellow eyes, and sharp facial features. The only difference being that Rowan has a scar over his forehead – a product from a childhood accident. He was also a little taller and more well-built, a must due to his extremely risky role of bashing the monster's face – the most dangerous part of the monster – with his hammer. In contrast, Romero was shorter and leaner, but made up for it in agility and speed, courtesy of his role as a dual blade's user. Their personalities, however, could not be any more different.
"We should leave now. Don't want to get caught by whoever set up this tent…"
"Right- "
Suddenly, a familiar loud roar echoed down the tower, causing the Remobra to scatter. The brothers looked up.
"It's up there." They glanced at each other and grinned.
"Let's go."
…
"This is my prey! Not yours!" Siegfried shouted as he blocked a tail swipe.
"Say's who?!" Eris shouted back, stepping to the side and countering a bite with a quick slash of her sword to the monster's cheek. Her blade, however, effortlessly bounced off the Rathalos' hard face plating. In her moment of vulnerability, the monster rams her with its head, sending her tumbling away.
Siegfried growled and swung his sword horizontally, aiming for the monster's legs with the intent of tripping it. But before his blade could connect, the Rathalos turns, causing his blade to collide with the monster's exceptionally hard head.
Clang!
"Shit!" His sword bounces off the hard plating, staggering the hunter due to the sudden distribution of weight and leaving him open. Unable to react in time, Siegfried was helpless as the Rathalos rapidly spins around, violently swinging it's tail in-process and hitting the hunter with its clubbed tip, sending him crashing onto a nearby pillar. Before the Rathalos could deliver the finishing blow-
Shiing!
The monster stumbles back, roaring in pain as blood gushed out of the wound on its leg. It growled fiercely at Eris, who stood there, blade in hand and stained in the creature's blood. Eris glances at Siegfried behind her and shakes her head in disappointment.
"Embarrassing."
"…Silence, you capricious bitch," Siegfried grunted, slowly rising to his feet. His heavier armor and a more muscular physique proved to be very useful. He popped a potion and chugged down its contents. He fixed his helmet and picked up his weapon. "You stay away from my target understand? This is my kill."
"Says the man who got tail whipped into a pillar."
"Says the woman who got knocked out from a simple headbutt."
The monster roared and charged, intent on trampling the hunters. The two easily swerved around the beast, dodging its attack.
"He's mine!" Siegfried declared, running and dragging his sword across the ground towards the wyvern.
"No!" Eris joined in, recklessly rushing towards the wyvern as she prepared to unsheathe her sword.
As soon as he got close, Siegfried lifted the sword off the ground in a powerful rising slash…only for the Rathalos to leap over the two of them and land behind them. The beast then spun, swinging its tail at Eris, who was unable to react in time and lifted her sword in front of her in a desperate attempt to save herself.
BAM!
The force of the clubbed tail swing violently collides against her torso with enough force to shatter a large boulder. The hit fractures her chest piece and sends her flying directly towards Siegfried. Her backside crashes against the hunter, sending them both tumbling onto the ground and causing them to drop their weapons.
"Oi, get off me!" Siegfried said, pushing her off him, not realizing her current state. He fully expected a retort coming from her but when it didn't come, he began to realize something was wrong. It was when he glanced at her body did, he react accordingly.
His eyes grew wide.
"Shit…"
The huntress laid on the ground, eyes closed and coughing out copious amounts of blood. The layer of armor on her torso was fractured, exposing the chainmail underneath and he could see a patch of red growing increasingly larger on one of the exposed spots. It was clear from the severity of her condition that the force of the blow had caused some form of internal bleeding within her. She needed help – fast because when Siegfried glanced back at the Rathalos, it had reared its head back as its maw began to light up with flames. It was at this moment that Siegfried did the one thing that if his past self would see, he would laugh.
The events happened so fast that neither side could comprehend what had happened until the end.
In that brief moment, Siegfried stood in front of Eris, using his larger frame to shield the injured huntress. He spread his arms wide and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.
In that brief moment, Eris had slightly opened her eyes to find a tall figure with his arms spread wide, shielding her.
And in that brief moment, a massive flash of light engulfed the area.
So, what do you think? Did I manage to improve the story compared to its predecessor? Whatever your answer is, please comment on your thoughts and review of this chapter. As always, all criticism is appreciated. Just don't be toxic.
With that in mind, thanks for reading and see you next chapter!