AN - It's been a while, huh? Ah, well, I did warn ya. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'll attempt to get the next one out at least a little quicker. Reviews are my friend, and while I probably won't reply to them all, I will attempt to answer any questions.

Choking the Minister with a Purple Bowler Hat

"What took so long?" Severus asked when Harry appeared in the Headmaster's office almost half an hour later.

"Women are batshit," Harry murmured in an undertone, rolling his eyes. Andromeda cuffed his head from behind, proving that he hadn't spoke quietly enough. He shook his head at her. "What? I've never seen someone travel through such a range of emotions as you did within twenty minutes."

Andromeda sniffed regally, eyeing him with a glare. "You sprung a rather large amount of information on me in a short amount of time, Lord Black, it's not unusual that I would be shocked."

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, waving her off. "Andromeda Black, Tom Riddle. I'm sure you know everyone else in the room."

"Quite."

Harry snorted when Andromeda offered Voldemort a standard curtsy before she turned her attention to Narcissa.

"Sister. It's been a while."

Narcissa raised her eyebrow as she appraised Andromeda for a moment. Finally, she nodded her head, standing to greet her estranged sister.

"It's good to see you, Andromeda."

"Is there anything else I need to be here for?" Harry asked, glancing at the reuniting sisters briefly before he looked at his husband-to-be. Gah, the very thought was offensive.

"If you trust Andromeda to argue for you, then no," Narcissa replied, arching her eyebrow once more.

Harry chuckled. "I'm sure Andromeda could argue for me better than I could, Lady Malfoy."

Andromeda snorted, but nodded her agreement. "For now."

"Hmm. Well then, I'll take my leave. It's been... interesting."

With a nod to Tom, Harry turned back to the door. Before he left, he turned back to Andromeda.

"Andy, when you're done here, call Kreacher and ask him to fetch me. I have a few things I need to discuss with you."

"Of course, Lord Black. I'll be with you shortly."

Grinning, Harry shook his head. "Take your time, it's nothing that cannot keep for a while. Gentlemen, Lady Narcissa."

Harry made it as far as the end of the corridor before he slumped against the wall. Dear Lord but playing up to the Pure-bloods was a nightmare. If this was the life he had to look forward to, he may just run away to Nigeria instead.

Forcing himself to move from the wall, Harry wandered the corridors, not really paying his destination much mind. He found himself in the library, and with a sigh, decided he might as well do some work. Almost two hours later, Kreacher interrupted his concentration.

"Is Andromeda done, Kreacher?" Harry asked, vanishing the parchment and books he'd been working on back to his trunk in Gryffindor tower.

"Not quite, Master, but there be a problem."

Harry frowned. "Take me to her, please, Kreacher."

Kreacher returned Harry to Dumbledore's office, though no one heard his arrival as they were currently all shouting over each other, each trying to be heard.

Harry sidled up beside Snape, nudging him. When he had the older man's attention, he nodded to the argument, raising his eyebrow in question.

"Ah, I'm actually glad you're back, Potter. It appears with you out of the room, our esteemed Minister grew himself a backbone. I'm not sure why he believes that arguing with the Dark Lord will bring him anything other than a well deserved early grave, but... well. You can see the result."

"Now I'm unsure as to interrupt," Harry replied, grinning. "Save Fudge's hide, watch Voldemort take a tantrum... it's a hard decision."

"Potter, I'm getting a headache. Do something!"

Harry tried halfheartedly to get the attention of the shouting wizards, to no avail. Eventually, he pulled out his wand and with a wordless spell, a cloud of smoke exploded in the middle of them all, leaving no more shouting but a lot of coughing and spluttering.

When the smoke cleared, they were all glaring at Harry.

"Was that really necessary, Potter?" Fudge growled, his face pink from exertion.

"I could have blown it up your asses instead," Harry replied cheerfully. "Now, will someone please tell me what in the blazes is going on?"

As Voldemort, Dumbledore, Fudge and Lucius all started talking at once, Harry rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"One at a time would be helpful. For Merlin's sake, I'm the youngest person in the room, and I put the lot of you to shame. Show some bloody composure! Voldemort? What's going on?"

"The Minister decided that, since you weren't here to exclude people from the wedding guest list, he would invite most of the Ministry, including but not limited, to Dolores Umbridge. I have no time for the woman and will not accept her presence at my wedding!"

Harry snorted. "I agree. Case closed."

"You cannot do this!" Fudge shouted. "I am the Minister for Magic and I demand some bloody respect!"

"Oh go and cower behind someone else, Fudge, I'm tired of listening to your bleating. Have the rest of the decisions been made?" Harry asked, looking at Andromeda.

"They have. I have the written down for you to look over whenever you're ready, Harry."

Harry nodded. "Thank you. Right, the guest list. Has anyone got a piece of parchment handy?"

Severus handed a roll over, along with a quill. Harry smiled his thanks before he leant over the table, writing a list. The Weasleys, Longbottoms and Lovegoods were at the top alone with Hermione, but Remus, Kingsley, Tonks, Moody and a few others from the Order followed on.

Handing the list to Andromeda, he added, "Add any political contacts you wish to that list. Has a date been set?"

"While I'd prefer to get married before the school year begins, I've been informed that it would be impossible. We shall be married on September 27th," Voldemort answered, drawing Harry's attention.

Harry nodded. "Very well. I don't truly understand the need for such a dog and pony show when it is a political marriage, but I shall bow to your wishes. Who will be announcing it to the press?"

"Lord Potter-Black?" Lucius asked, frowning. "Why would you wish to announce it before the wedding?"

"Because my name on a marriage licence, which has to be filed earlier than the wedding, alongside that of His Lordship, will have Rita Skeeter shitting unicorns and puking rainbows. I'd rather have some control over when, and how, the news breaks to the wizarding world at large. I can only imagine the spin the witch will put on it if left to her own devices."

Lucius nodded, looking slightly impressed.

"He's correct, My Lord," he said, glancing at Tom. "You may wish to allow a statement be released before the licence is filed."

"I will call a press briefing and announce it," Fudge declared.

"You'll find yourself choking on your own hat before you get a word out," Harry warned, his eyes narrowing. "It will be myself or Tom that announces the marriage. You will hold your silence on this Fudge."

Lucius eyed the Minister distastefully. "Minister, I am not sure what you are attempting to accomplish today. You are fully aware that Lord Potter-Black holds enough political sway that he can call for a no confidence vote and easily have it passed whenever he decides. That he now has the support of the My Lord's followers on his side... and please believe that unless instructed otherwise specifically by My Lord we will stand with Lord Potter-Black, you have nowhere to go, and nobody to run to."

"I am the Minister for Magic!" Fudge defended, though it sounded feeble to everyone in the room.

"For now."

Tom's words had Fudge paling as he sank back into his seat. Harry smirked as magic swirled around Voldemort like a cloak.

"You remain as Minister at my behest, but if you continue to annoy me, Cornelius, you will not live to see the end of your days in office. I am being rather... generous today, only for the sake of my future husband, but my patience is being pushed further than I would like. Enough of the pitiful power plays. You will never win."

Silence reigned in the room for a few moments, before Harry nodded appreciatively. "Well said. I'll leave the press details to you, but if you would like me to be present for the announcement, or if you want the House Of Potter to release a statement, let me know."

Voldemort caught Harry's eye, holding it for a moment before he nodded sharply. "We've spent enough time here today. I trust you ladies can make the arrangements for the wedding from here on out, but don't hesitate if there are questions to be asked. I wish for the day to run smoothly. Dumbledore, Severus," he nodded, surprising Harry slightly with his politeness. He approached Harry gracefully, picking up his hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Harry."

Harry's lip tilted up slightly. "Tom."

The Dark Lords exit was followed by the Death Eaters and Narcissa, all of whom nodded respectfully to Harry. Eventually, it was only Harry, Severus, Andromeda, Dumbledore and Fudge left in the room.

"Well, that was exciting," Harry said, breaking the silence. "Andromeda? Are you able to stick around for a while. I have a few matters to discuss with you."

"Of course, Harry."

Harry grinned, nodding to Dumbledore. "Headmaster. I'm sure I'll speak to you soon."

"You will, my boy," Dumbledore replied cheerfully. "Andromeda, it was lovely to see you again."

"And you, Albus."

Harry and Andromeda left the office, barely holding their laughter until they arrived at the library, where Harry cast some powerful privacy and secrecy charms around them.

"Good Lord, that was a riot. I believe you may be right about this, Harry. Marrying the Dark Lord may just be a good plan after all," Andromeda said, grinning.

"Yes, well. He's not exactly a chore to look at now, and he certainly will make life that much more interesting. Of course, I'll have to deal with the Wizarding Public which may just be enough to sour the whole enjoyment of it. No matter that I'm, in essence, doing this for them, they will condemn me for certain, sheep that they are."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Andromeda replied. "I believe they will fall at your feet with gratitude once the facts are known. Poor Harry Potter, marrying his mortal enemy to protect the masses."

"Merlin, you're going to make me gag!"

"That was my intention. The invitations will be going out in a week, which means the announcement will have to be before that. Do let me know if and when you need help to prepare for the press briefing."

"I will. Will you look over these papers. I think I got the gist of them, but since more seem to be adding to the pile daily, I'd like your opinion on them before they get filed. The Goblins have also sent over a portfolio of the latest numbers and assets if you want to take a glance."

The two of them settled into business, laughing and teasing as they did. It was a rather marvellous way to spend an afternoon in Harry's opinion.

Lord Potter-Black,

I am writing to inform you that it has been decided that we feel it best for you to be the one to announce the wedding to the wizarding public. Rather than simply releasing a statement, I believe it will behove you to make an address at the Ministry, or perhaps arranging for a conference in Diagon Alley, whichever is your preference.

The Dark Lord has offered to be present if you feel it would help you, but he assures me that he trusts you to handle it if you feel it better to approach this alone. He is intending to revive the Slytherin line and seat at the next Winzengamot meeting, and as such, will be rejoining the political circles almost immediately.

Please inform me of your decisions as soon as possible, so I might make the necessary arrangements.

Yours,

Lucius Malfoy

Harry sighed as he finished the letter, but nodded to himself. As much as he hated to agree with the Malfoy Lord, he did. It would be better for him to address the public about this matter, simply because he would be able to put the more sympathetic spin on it.

Pulling a sheet of parchment towards him, he dipped his quill.

Lord Malfoy,

As much as it pains me to admit it, your idea has merit. Please do not misunderstand, it is not you that pains me, merely the idea of having to speak with the press at all rather makes me nauseous. Regardless, I am willing to hold the conference. Diagon Alley will be better, simply because there will be less of an opportunity for the bumbling fool we call Minister to accost me. Set it up at your convenience, Lord Malfoy, I can arrange myself around the wedding preparations.

Tom is welcome to be present at the conference if he wishes to attend, but I am not overly concerned about dealing with this myself. I find the news that he plans to revive the Slytherin Line at the next Winzengamot meeting. I have benched the idea of reviving the Gryffindor Line for the time being, but we would be quite the power couple, would we not?

I digress, that is a discussion for another time. Not least, I must think about the poor people who will be addressing me formally, both in speech and writing. Lord Potter-Black-Riddle-Gryffindor is quite the mouthful. I believe I will do well to continue with a mere three surnames, at least for the time being.

I will await the details of the address from you,

Yours,

Harry Potter.