Chapter 5 – When I'm Constantly Failing You

Blood flying through the air, splattering onto the ground and on his face, had him rushing forward, scooping briefly to pick up a discarded weapon before he was landing a firm kick to someone's chest, using his senses to pick up on their movements and positions. Then, in the same second, he swung his hand up, kunai mercilessly slicing through his enemy's lungs.

Someone's back touched his, the feeling of her shoulders rising and falling rhythmically with her panting making his worry grow.

"I told you to stay out of this, Shisui," she snapped quietly at him. "You're not ready."

Like he could stand back while she was being hurt. He knew it was her blood that was being spilled, could smell it on his own face. "You can't face them alone, Sakura."

"I-" Sakura quickly cut herself off, roughly grabbing his arm and yanking them both out of the way. He heard the sounds of kunai whizzing by them before falling to the ground, not far from where they'd been standing. "Your eyes-"

"If I go blind permanently, then so be it." He used her hold on him to spin her around, just barely seeing her features. It was all so dizzyingly blurry, but he could still see the blood on her face. A head wound, he believed. "As long as you make it out of this alive."

While his sight was still bad, he was certain he saw her eyes sadden only a second before she was watching him determinedly, eyebrows knitting together. Surprising Shisui further, she stumbled in her attempt to pull away, but stubbornly, Sakura reached up, wiping the blood from her split lip, never once breaking eye contact even as her hands ran through familiar hand signs, even as she crouched low and murmured, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu."

The giant slug instantly curled around them, spitting out mouthfuls of acid to try and buy them some time.

"Sakura," he said shakily, trembling hands coming to her face. "You don't have to do this for me."

Gods, she seemed so exhausted. She'd done so much already while trying to protect him. He couldn't ask any more of her.

The surprises didn't stop as she suddenly pressed her lips to his, unknowingly fulfilling a desire of his that he'd been imagining for who knows how long now. How many times had he wondered what it would be like to kiss her? To hold her in his arms? It didn't even matter that her split lip was smearing blood over his, especially not when he felt her hand leave his chin, coming to the back of his head.

But then he felt that hand connect with a pressure point on the back of his neck, felt his body go limp as he slumped in her loving embrace.

"You have to live," Sakura told him quietly.

He woke up panting and sweaty, hands outstretched like she was actually there, her name on his lips like she'd actually hear him. There was a painful feeling in his chest and in response, he grabbed at it, hand over his erratically beating heart. His emotional pain was so great that he didn't even register the burning sensation behind his eyes, the one that told him his trauma was so great that it was causing a manifestation of chakra.

You have to live.

"So do you," he whispered brokenly.

Sakura had become such an important part of his life. How long had she been his carer for? How long had she been his friend? His companion? His source of comfort on his darkest days? It was the first time since he met her that Shisui was not seeing her. She was with him every day. To not have her there with him was… It felt like he was missing something. It felt like losing his sight all over again. Terrifying, because he wasn't sure when he'd get her back. Making him feel helpless, because he knew there wasn't a damn thing he could do to save her.

Danzo wouldn't kill her. That much was obvious. Now that Tsunade was dead, Sakura's skills were second to none. If he was going to stand a chance in the oncoming war then Danzo needed those skills. It was quite possibly the only thing keeping her alive. Had it not been for her medical ninjutsu, she would have died as an accomplice to the Uchiha Clan, for she knew far too much and had too many ties to the clan.

"Shisui."

He didn't physically acknowledge Itachi as the man knelt beside his futon. "She should be here."

"I know."

But did he? No, Shisui wasn't blaming his friend. He knew Itachi had orders to follow. Refusing to follow what could possibly be the last orders from his parents was… There was no way to ask that of him. Shisui simply wished Itachi had… What? Tried harder? Sighing with annoyance, he raised his hand, running it down his face roughly. Itachi was trying his hardest to protect everyone at the hideout. He was making the best out of a bad situation.

"Sakura has been a close friend of mine for many years now," Itachi surprised him by saying. Usually, it took more pushing for him to get to the point. "While it may not be the same pain, know that I am also suffering with the thought of her capture."

"We need to do something." It was impossible seeing anything when it was so dark – all candles and torches had been extinguished due to most of the people in the hideout being asleep. Shisui relied on the light to help him decipher shapes and colours. Without it, he couldn't see a damn thing. "Danzo will destroy her mind, Itachi. You know he will."

There were so many people sleeping at that moment in time and while Shisui knew that a great deal of them were not sleeping peacefully, he still envied them. Despite being in a coma for two months, he was exhausted. Was it emotional exhaustion as well as physical? Perhaps. Still, the sounds of their light snoring and deep, even breaths had him breathing out a sigh of jealousy and frustration.

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he was told about the hideout many, many years ago. A safe haven, maybe? Not stone cold floors, walls and ceilings, with the only decorations being their clan's emblem engraved or painted onto the stone. The hideout was freezing and the high ceilings didn't help matters. Every time they started a fire, it didn't fully heat the room up because of how big it was.

Whoever had designed the place hadn't been the brightest of men. Where the hell were the toilets and baths? Why were the pantries that were supposed to be filled with supplies, filled with nothing but weaponry? According to Itachi, all the medical, food and other supplies they had were through risky runs to the nearest towns and villages. The hideout only offered them weapons. Sure, they would come in handy one day, but what was the point in having so many weapons if all the people in hiding were dead from pneumonia or starvation?

Had he been the one to create a hideout, then it would be exactly as the name stated: a hideout. Somewhere for people to run to when they needed to stay in hiding, without having to worry about supplies.

Trust his clan to focus solely on weaponry.

Shaking off the negative thoughts, Shisui sat up with a grunt, the effort of his task causing a dull ache throughout his body. Being in an induced coma for two months was not good for a person's body, he decided. It felt like everything was impossibly stiff. The thought of his stiff muscles had Shisui wishing he never got up, as it brought back the memories of when Sakura would massage his aches and pains away. As his carer, it was her duty to ensure he was relaxed and pain free, she'd told him several times. Even something as simple as a cramp or backache was her problem, she'd said.

"Shisui…"

"We need to rescue her," he said, voice gravelly and wavering under the pressure of his emotions.

Unlike before, this time he felt the pain of his eyes, hand reaching to his face and gripping at it.

"Shisui," Itachi warned seriously and leaned forward, easing him back onto the futon. "Do not activate your Sharingan–"

"No," interrupted Shisui coldly as he fought weakly against his friend.

For the first time since he'd known him, however, Itachi managed to overpower him effortlessly. "We will think of a strategy in the morning," he stated calmly. "At this moment in time, you are thinking more with your heart than your head. Rest."

"Itachi," he growled out warningly. It was frustrating beyond belief that he couldn't fight back. Couldn't find his strength.

"Do not argue with me, Shisui. Sakura did not spend the past few months watching your every move and caring for you just for you to undo all of her hard work in a matter of seconds."

He was right. Shisui knew he was one hundred percent right. It didn't lessen any of his negative emotions, though. Didn't ease the vicious aching of his heart whenever he thought about what horrors Sakura was facing. Didn't better their situation.

"We need to get her out of there, Itachi," came his quiet mutter.

His friend nodded solemnly, eyebrows knitting together over troubled eyes. "I know."

Gods, were the mornings always so cold? He could see his own breath. Many in the hideout chose to remain in their beds with either their sleeping bags zipped all the way to the top, or the blankets brought all the way to their chins. Shisui would have done the same. He would have stayed in bed all damn day as he had no energy at all. The thought of Sakura's captivity had him getting up without hesitation, however. And the thought of the tortures she was no doubt going through had him fighting through the aches of his muscles, because that was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what she was experiencing. He couldn't even imagine.

He noticed Sasuke lurking in the background – well, more like sensed his chakra. If Shisui wasn't mistaken, then he was being watched. Closely and indiscreetly. Like he didn't even care about being caught openly staring. He supposed Sasuke had every right to feel wary about his presence. After all, he had suddenly disappeared for eight long years. More than likely, he'd been presumed dead.

"So, you know my student," a voice said to his left.

Halting in his walk towards the opening of the hideout, where he'd been planning on relieving himself, Shisui tilted his head to the side, vaguely recognising the person's outline as Hatake Kakashi's. There were so many people at the hideout that it was impossible to learn everyone's, although he supposed he was doing well so far.

Even though it wasn't said as a question, he nodded once but gave no verbal answer, prompting Kakashi to then say, "You're too emotionally involved for her to simply be your carer. You're more than that to each other, aren't you?"

He appreciated the present tense used in his sentences. Whenever others mentioned her – even Uzumaki Naruto – they always used the past tense unless discussing her current whereabouts or planning on how to rescue her. Deciding that Kakashi deserved his full attention, he sighed and leaned back against the wall, regretting it instantly as the stone was freezing, but not moving away.

"We didn't have the chance to further explore our feelings," he replied quietly.

"Probably for the best," came his even quieter reply and Shisui felt him move towards him, copying his stance. "Had Tsunade-sama found out about it, she would have forced Sakura to step down as your carer. Might've even suspended her from her duties at the hospital. Medics can't be romantically involved with their patients – it's not just frowned upon, it's one of the strictest rules in the hospital."

Which was why Sakura fought so hard against 'them'. Gods, he felt awful for pushing her, for making her break her oath.

"Don't fret over it," Kakashi told him, chuckling once. "Sakura is an impossible woman to ignore. She'll break you in half just for considering ignoring her."

That… It didn't sound like his Sakura. Not entirely. Yes, she had a temper, but the only times it was ever displayed was when his clan turned on him, when they heard the hateful whispers or felt their piercing glares. Not once had she ever been angry with him. Not once had she ever handled him too roughly. Every touch, every gesture, had been filled with tenderness. To him, she was as delicate as her namesake.

"It was peaceful," he confided in the older man. "Being with her, I mean."

That seemed to amuse him greatly, for Kakashi suddenly laughed. "Peaceful? Are you sure we're talking about the same Sakura?"

The words didn't have him bristling like he thought they would. "Her presence was soothing, something that was definitely needed when…"

As his sentence trailed off, Kakashi sighed, patting him once on the shoulder. "She's always been the mother hen of Team Seven, I suppose. Not to the same extent as with you, but…" Shisui could hear the smile in his voice at his next words, as he said, "She's always been a completely different person when falling in love."

It was impossible to smile back, the pain in his chest and eyes too great. She'd fallen in love with him – or was falling for him. It devastated him that she was taken from him, that she might not even be the same Sakura when she returned. What would he do if that was the case?

"Try not to worry too much – our Sakura is a fighter," Kakashi told him seriously, the hand on his shoulder squeezing comfortingly. "We will get her back."

But what would be left of her?

"Well?" came an angered, loud demand. "What's the plan? I'm sure as hell not staying cooped up in this place any longer while Sakura-chan's locked away in some dungeon with that creepy-"

"Breathe, Naruto," sighed Kakashi, cutting him off.

The boy was red in the face, returning to his pacing as he ran trembling hands through his hair. Last night, he hadn't seemed worried in the slightest, proclaiming that his Sakura-chan was too strong to be broken. She'd hold onto her fierce nature just to spite Danzo. Now, however, it seemed the sinister reality of the situation had dawned on him and he couldn't help but panic. Shisui wondered who'd gotten to him the most. The state of Hyuuga Hinata, who was currently sitting against a wall, heavily bandaged and still in a great amount of pain, or Sasuke and his vengeful words.

"He has a point," Genma replied and he straddled a chair (they'd apparently recently acquired), arms coming to rest on the back of it. "Sakura's now the number one medic not just in Konoha, but the world. Danzo will do anything to have her fighting on his side."

"Especially considering she knows Godaime-sama's forbidden jutsu," Neji added. He was on Hinata's left, whereas the other Hyuuga (Hanabi, Shisui had later learned) was on her right. "Although many underestimate her, she is, in fact, a powerful asset."

"Damn right she is," snapped Naruto both with pride and fear. It was an odd mixture to semi-witness. "I don't give a shit what anyone has to say." Even Shisui could tell his glare was directed in Sasuke's direction and he wondered why. The night before, he'd been all for saving Sakura, also admitting she was a great asset. Had that not always been the case? "And I need Sakura-chan by my side when we take back Konoha – Team Seven needs to be whole again when it happens. I didn't get that bastard back just to lose her."

He was more muttering to himself than anyone else, but his anger was a cause of concern for many, Shisui noted. Did they have reason to fear his rampant emotions? Was his seal weak? How easily was the Kyuubi able to gain control? Even with Itachi's eyes being as powerful as they were, he knew it was important to be wary of the jinchūriki. The Kyuubi was the strongest tailed beast of them all. It was also the most hate filled. To underestimate its ability to take control was a mistake they wouldn't even be able to regret, for it would surely slaughter them all.

"And it will be," Kakashi replied and stood in front of the blond, forcing him to come to a stop in his pacing. Shisui wondered what expression was on the Copy-Nin's face (not only because of his sight, but also because his back was to him), for whatever it was, it was enough to calm Naruto somewhat. "It's what this meeting is all about, Naruto: how we're going to save Sakura."

He nodded, assessing them all critically. "We're going to need more people."

"Stronger people," Sasuke muttered from his corner. "It doesn't matter how many people we have – we need them to be stronger. What we have now won't even put a dent in ROOT's forces."

At least he was smarter than he used to be, Shisui thought. When he was a kid, Sasuke had been adamant that nobody could defeat his beloved older brother. But now he knew that even Itachi wouldn't stand a chance against ROOT – not by himself, at least. Yes, he was a powerful kid – well, man now, he supposed – but even Itachi had his weaknesses and limits, his stamina being one of the biggest weaknesses.

Speaking of Itachi, he glanced over in his direction, not for the first time wishing he had his sight back completely. It was a pain trying to guess what expression people were wearing. Were they angry? Thoughtful? Shisui was guessing that Itachi was brooding (his usual stoic expression, in other words), but it was difficult to tell. For the time being, he was simply sitting in and listening to their complaining and flawed plots to rescue Sakura, neither piping up with ideas of his own or showing any interest in theirs. Just taking it all in.

"A Byakugan user will be beneficial," Hanabi stated and then looked to her cousin, Neji. "Your eyes see much further than my own, however."

"You should stay with Hinata-sama," he agreed with a nod.

Yes, the Byakugan would give them an advantage, however there was the possibility that Danzo was expecting that. They had to go in with the assumption that Danzo had somehow warded the place against their eyes. He was no idiot, after all. He was a remarkable strategist – which was what made the night of the attack so much harder to believe. Danzo always thought several steps ahead, always had seemingly flawless plans. One didn't get as far as Danzo without working for it or deserving it.

"I'm definitely going with you," Naruto exclaimed. "I'm definitely going to get Sakura-chan back."

There was no advantage to taking the jinchūriki with them, Shisui decided. They needed him too much when taking back Konoha, not to mention the mission to retrieve Sakura required a great level of stealth. It was frustrating, but Shisui understood that even he would not be capable of joining the others in saving her. In his current state he was more or less useless as a shinobi. To go with them would put all their lives at risk, including Sakura's and he couldn't allow that to happen.

"You?" Sasuke snorted. "You are going to sneak into ROOT's headquarters and retrieve Sakura without starting a single fight or making any noise? Idiot–"

"Who the hell are you calling an idiot, bastard?"

"You may have gotten stronger, but you're a pitiful excuse of a shinobi," came his harsh response. "You couldn't be stealthy even if your life depended on it and right now, hers depends on that stealth. Sending you will only cause a disaster."

Again, Naruto was red in the face and Shisui could sense the building anger from his place across the meeting room, which was just a small way away from the main hall of the hideout, where everyone else was currently sitting obliviously. Naruto's anger was more intense than earlier, he noticed. His anger at that moment in time had him shaking, had him gritting his teeth and biting back a feral growl.

"So what do you suggest, huh?" he snarled and Shisui was stunned as he felt a suffocating killing intent fill the room. So that was the Kyuubi's power? "Send someone who doesn't really know or care about her? Someone who sees her as just an asset?" He was yelling now, gripping Sasuke's shirt and yanking him to his feet, shaking him roughly. "Someone like you? Huh?"

The youngest Uchiha grabbed the hands holding him, pinching the nerves but once he realised it wouldn't break the hold, he activated his Sharingan, staring Naruto down coldly. The blurred sight had Shisui sitting up in his seat, had him squinting to try and see better. Was Sasuke capable of controlling the Kyuubi? How powerful was his Sharingan? From the stories he'd heard while living with Sakura, he was guessing it was pretty powerful, but where did it stand compared to Itachi's or his father's? To his own?

"I'm better suited for the mission," Sasuke muttered. "You're too much of a liability."

Sasuke did have a point there and Shisui could tell the others knew that, too. Unlike Naruto, who was loud and easy to detect, the Uchiha was capable of sneaking around, he could use his Sharingan to place any witnesses under genjutsu, either wiping the memories of him from their mind or stalling them long enough to escape, all the while leaving no evidence of his being there. Naruto, on the other hand, could not. From what he'd learned of the boy: he had no skills in genjutsu.

"You're a liability, too," Genma said without hesitation, mouth fiddling with a senbon. "You're too consumed by your hatred and more likely to go after Danzo."

"You-"

"He's right, Sasuke," Kakashi argued. "It's different for Itachi-san because he's level-headed. Shisui-san understands that he's not capable of going against Danzo just yet, so wouldn't even consider it should he spot an opening. You, however, can be just as rash as Naruto."

He stopped fighting Naruto's grip, turning his glare on the Copy-nin as he muttered coldly, "Stop talking like you're still my sensei."

"Stop talking like a spoiled, cocky brat," he said just as coldly, straightening up. "You've abandoned Sakura before, what's to say you won't do it again? She's going to need a group not only to defend her, but understand her, too. Like you said: she's going to be receiving the worst kind of torture for resisting Danzo and helping Hinata escape. There's no telling what state Sakura will be in when we find her."

The glare intensified, seeming more daunting due to the fact Sasuke's Sharingan was activated. Shisui didn't feel the need to intervene as he had the night before, for he knew Hatake Kakashi was one of Konoha's greatest prodigies. Sasuke didn't stand a chance against him – not yet, anyway. Besides, the kid wasn't using Sakura to spread hatred now. They were simply fighting over who got to be her saviour. Knowing Sakura the way he did, she would probably be blushing over the attention she was receiving, asking them to stop but not truly meaning it.

"The Hokage's guard should go," Genma's teammate, Raidō, intervened. "We know all secret passages and tunnels, not to mention we are capable of using the Yondaime's jutsu, should we need to transport Sakura-san away while we fight. We can leave markings here."

That was more like it. It also meant less travelling in her weakened, unstable state – if that was her state. Should they find it difficult to escape, they could transport her to them and then fight to their–

No. They couldn't risk their lives for hers. Sakura would never forgive them, would never forgive him for allowing it. He couldn't expect anyone to give their lives to save her, even though his heart was screaming at him to do so.

"I'm going," Sasuke pushed, narrowing his red and black eyes on them.

"Sasuke."

They all turned to face the older brother when he finally got involved and as he stood to his full height, towering over him, they saw a sliver of uncertainty show in Sasuke's eyes (only for a split second before he went back to glaring at him).

"You can't stop me, Itachi," he said darkly. "You might be a coward who runs at the first sight of trouble, but I'm not."

What? "Itachi? A coward?" Shisui couldn't help but intervene, laughing at the absurdity of it all. "He faced more battles throughout a single year of his childhood than you will ever face in a lifetime, kid." He wasn't even ashamed of the sting of condescension in his tone. Who the hell did Sasuke think he was calling his brother a coward? Was he even aware of how far Itachi would go for him? Of how much he would give up without hesitation? "Itachi is-"

"A fucking coward," he snarled in his direction, though didn't look at him. Was he still unnerved by his presence? Still torn between obeying and respecting him, or despising him in the same way the clan had since his return? "Instead of fighting alongside our clan, our parents, you ran away. You left them all to die. You left our parents to die!"

Ignoring his outburst, Itachi stared him down, stating calmly, "You are not going back to Konoha, Sasuke."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do," yelled Sasuke, voice trembling with his rage.

"I will go myself," he murmured seriously and in that moment, Shisui saw what he'd always seen in Itachi: a true leader. Someone to admire and respect. Someone with so much power already, yet so much more that had yet to be tapped into. They all knew not to take his words lightly or believe them to be arrogant. He meant every single one of them. "I will save Haruno Sakura."

A/N - Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuun.

Reviews:

The White Leopard: How was the possessiveness in this chapter? ;-) And thank you, she's doing much better now and I'll make sure to pass on your regards.

I'm in here: Thank you so much. She's out of the hospital now, which is a good sign. I'll pass on your regards. As for Sasuke, wouldn't you say he has every right to be concerned? Though, saying that, I suppose he doesn't. Like Kakashi said in this chapter: he's abandoned her before. Only time will tell with Sakura, I'm afraid. Will she even be able to fight after all she's been through? Will she be even stronger? Will she be able to function at all? Who knows?

Bsmile123: It's so much fun writing Shisui this way, you know. Like, I know in the anime or the manga or whatever, that he preferred not to choose sides and instead remain neutral, but... He's an Uchiha who's in love and his love is currently banged up in a cell with Morino Ibiki screwing around in her head. He's bound to have zero patience for Sasuke's bullshit hahah.

Thank you to yaoi4adollar, XxTaintedxDaggerxX, wowshutup, TheAliceHuntt, Guest, DarkSecretKeeper, Sakuraqueen, Revanchist21 and Uchiha Misaki for your really kind reviews.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!