Chapter Sixteen:

A calmness settled across him, he felt like a weight had been lifted, her tears fell quicker, faster than she could catch her breath, she couldn't think straight, that beautiful little girl she had felt drawn to was her child, her daughter who had grown from a beautiful baby to a beautiful little girl.

"I think we need to talk further, once you have composed yourself... there are still things that we need to say, to each other" he spoke as he approached her he linked her arm, and walked her towards the Parsonage.

They arrived at the garden that belonged to the Hunsford, parsonage and sat down on a small stone bench, Darcy took her hands and held them in hers, she allowed him, she was lost to him she could never stay angry at him, ow how she had missed him holding her emotion raced through her body.

Once again she has completely miss communicated with him, how did the always manger miscommunicate with each other...

It was time, to be honest, they both needed to know the truth, even if it would hurt her, she took a long deep breath steady her nerves, be brave, and asked the question she had dreaded for the past four years.

"You left me" she stated

He looked at her taking in all the pain she had felt over the past four years they were connected he physically felt like her could feel her pain.

she took a deep breath.

"You left me... the very next day... did you leave on purpose to escape me? Did you ever love me, was it all lies?"

"No No never I never wanted to leave I have always loved you and only you, Elizabeth Bennet," he whispered, is this what she had thought for the past four years that he had just used her for his own pleasure.

He had done it again and taken her breath away she could hardly remember to breathe her heart thumping wildly.

"Richard my cousin is a colonel I believe you met him yesterday" she nodded so he continued "he had been injured abroad while fighting, the express came as you left the ball. His parents were in Europe on a diplomatic mission for the princess regent, his brother was covering his father's seat in parliament. He needed me, he's like a brother to me. I don't think he would have survived otherwise. When I left I didn't think I would be gone for so long, I knew there might have been consequences from our night together I always planned to return it just took longer than I thought, I truly loved you I never lied... I never thought you wouldn't be at Longbourne, when I never heard from you I returned to Longbourne to seek you. Your father said you had left for America's to start a new."

Elizabeth hadn't realized he had return to look for her, if only she had waited for a few more months they could of married and been a family.

"You came back for me," she whispered, she could hardly believe it, ow how fate had played a cruel joke on them.

They both paused and looked into each other eyes.

"When I found out, I was with child, I wrote you, I never got a reply I presumed you were shunning me that you didn't love me and it was all a lie. That you silence meant that you have no intentions of helping me."

"I never received any letters till the letter you left with Catherine Anne"

Again then were both silent, neither one knew what to say next, so Elizabeth took a deep breath and continued.

"I didn't think I had much choice..." She whispered

"Once you didn't reply to any of my letters I presumed I had a been taken in like any silly girl falling for a man who promised me the world, I never regretted it once I gave birth once I saw her I never could of regret it"

"Why did you leave you Catherine Anne?" he asked, he knew from the moment he saw his daughter he would never have the willpower to leave that child.

"I wanted to keep her we had a plan, my aunt would raise her as her own I would have been in her life, but there were a few personal problems at the time in her own family and she couldn't keep her... I thought if I could get her to you, you would make sure she was safe and happy. I trusted you completely"

He realized how brave she had been to secure the safety of their daughter and her future, he was sure he would never have been able to do what she had done for the sake of the three of them.

she looked into her eyes and shyly smiled, she had been right to trust him, he had done it kept their daughter safe and happy that was all she could ask for, as Mr. Darcy daughter she would have a bright future and her pick of men from the first circles when she grew.

"We left Lambton and headed to Derby, from there we traveled to Liverpool and on to Dublin where we met Jasper, he was a friend of my uncles from there we sailed to Boston, Jane and Jasper married and we started our new life. It was hard I won't lie some night I cried myself to sleep over Clara and You, I suppose I must have gotten use to the feeling over time"

Now it made sense, when he couldn't track, he had been checking the wrong manifest, he never had the manifest going to Dublin checked.

"I couldn't keep her William it shattered my broken heart leaving her, I had no choice. None of my sisters were married at the time... They all would have been ruined and Longbourn is entailed to Mr. Collins, if anything had happened to my father we all would be homeless... I couldn't take that risk, with my child, I wouldn't tempt fate with her future William"

He took it all in, he knew she spoke the trust and as a woman she would never have been allowed to keep her child, her plan had been for the best. He needed to know what had happened to her letters they could have been married and been a family they could have been together they still could she still consumed him, mind-body, and soul he would never be able to leave her again.

"How many letters did you send?" his voice appeared rushed.

"Five... I didn't put it in writing but I thought you would be able to decipher what I was telling you, I didn't want to cause any scandal to the Darcy name if they went astray." she blushed ever so slightly.

Darcy refused to think all five letters went astray, there must have been foul play at hand keeping him and Elizabeth apart. He needed to figure out what had happened to the letters, come to think of it at the time, Georgianna had advised that she had sent him letters, that he never received, she had been quietly worried as she had poured her heart out about a heartbreak she had suffered in Ramsgate the previous month, she was concerned if the letter had fallen into the wrong hands it could of being detrimental to her upcoming season he needed to find out what had happened to his letters.

"Elizabeth, I want you to know, if I had received those letters I would have come back to you straight away and we would have been married I never intend to leave you I always intended to marry you."

It was good to know that he would have married her, but he had still broken her heart and married someone else.

"But you did marry another" She finely said with tears rolling down her face again.

"I did, but not because I loved her, I tried to find you after you left our daughter to my care, we searched manifest on ships I had bow street runners trying to track you down but they could never locate you... Then I got distracted my aunt turns up at Pemberly, she was distressed when she found out about our daughter, as she claimed there was be two illegitimate children in the family."

"Two?" this surprised Elizabeth.

"When I married my cousin Anne, she was heavy with child, she had been seduced by a scoundrel who was only after her money, she refused to name him to her mother, maybe that why my aunt came to me when she found out about Anne's child with our child at Pemberly it made sense to my aunt, that I and Anne marry and pass both children off as twins then both children would be safe. They would have their rightful inheritance, the day we married Annes time came, sadly neither she nor her child survived, she had a weak constitution and we knew it was a risk..." He Paused for a moment he needed to think of how to explain the rest of the story.

"I inherited Rosing and all Anne's belongings, she left a letter for me and her mother with Richard with her last thoughts and wishes. The letter stated that if she passed, she still wanted to be known as my daughter's mother, to give her a place in society she also decided to leave Rosing park to Clara Anne. Anne had two further requests, that her mother was to treat my daughter as her own grandchild, which Lady Catherine has done and her final request was one to safeguard my child and leave no doubts about my daughter parentage especially with are hasty marriage, she asked if I would change her name from Clara Anne to Catherine Anne, stating if we had, had our own daughter logically we would have called her after bother her grandmothers and not just my mother."

"so you changed her name" Elizabeth asked

"I did, I thought I was protecting her, giving her the best I could" Darcy replied.