Chapter 23 – Recognise The Weapon In My Mind
Well… He couldn't say he'd been expecting that.
He hadn't been expecting her explosive revelation – one that shook him to the core. He hadn't expected it to happen in front of so many outsiders. He hadn't expected Sasuke's initial reaction to be as dark, as hateful, as it had been, forcing Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto to remove him from the room, one hand around his throat, the other covering his deadly sharingan with Naruto's forehead protector. Most of all, however, he hadn't expected the flash of pain in Itachi's eyes. His friend tried his damned hardest to hide it from them all, to remain unaffected by Sakura's demands for answers. But Shisui knew. He could see it clearly.
"Itachi?" he called out once the others had left, ignoring their backwards glances.
The trembling of Sakura's hands hadn't ceased, not for a single moment. Part of him worried for her, worried that there would be a repeat of whatever the hell had happened in what was supposed to be their room. The other part was too tied up in the agonising pain in his chest, trying his best to keep in control of the rampant emotions swirling within him, demanding to take control and make him lash out – that couldn't happen. He had to be rational.
Gods, he wanted to be irrational for once. He wanted to give in to the pain of his heart. However, from Itachi's reaction alone, Shisui could tell there was more to the story. His oldest friend would not allow so much emotion to shine through unless it was too great for him to manage – and that was something he simply could not ignore.
"You told me nothing happened," he accused quietly.
Itachi's heavy gaze returned to Sakura, his expression shifting to concern in response to her suffering. Reaching out, he gently took her hand, guiding her to the table and instructing them both to sit. They were both reluctant to do so, although Sakura seemed more impatient to have her questions answered than anything. No doubt the thought of possibly straightening out one of her many messy relationships appealed massively to her.
That was petty, he inwardly scolded himself. Sakura was allowed to have a life before him. But, the lies, on the other hand…
"Sakura, I-" Itachi's loss for words stunned Shisui and he watched, just barely keeping his mouth closed, as he attempted to find the right way to word his sentence. "Our relationship is complicated, but no, we did not sleep together."
He breathed out a heavy sigh, the squeezing of his heart easing slightly.
"But I saw and felt so many details. I-"
"Look at me," he ordered softly and once more took her hands, steadying the shaking fists. "I swear to you that I am not lying. I would never lie to you."
The squeezing returned, eradicating his ability to breathe as he assessed the situation, as he witnessed the way Itachi handled and spoke with Sakura. What killed him most were her responses. The natural way she responded, relaxing like she'd no doubt done so many times over the years. It was simple, the interactions between them, like it was the easiest thing in the world to be in each other's presence. Whereas with him, they'd only ever known complications.
"Shisui, I did not lie to you, either. Nothing happened."
There was a but coming. For the life of him, he couldn't push him to continue.
"However, I did…" He breathed out a weighted sigh and returned his gaze to Sakura, who was frowning up at him questioningly. "I attempted to court you."
And there it was.
He sat back, barely resisting the urge to rub at his face in frustration.
There was a brief, worried glance in his direction, the cold façade dropping entirely as Itachi continued, telling them, "We had bonded and been friends for several years when I came to the realisation that I had developed feelings for you, Sakura. From what you told me, those feelings were reciprocated, albeit shadowed by your love for my brother."
"So… It's true," she all but whispered, eyes dropping. "The reason why he branded me-"
"No," both he and Itachi said firmly, simultaneously.
"Having feelings does not make you a whore," Shisui continued with the same firm tone. His gut twisted with anger at the mere thought of her thinking that way of herself. One could not help the confusing mess that was love – not when there were so many different kinds. "Two loves are never the same."
Unsurely, she nodded once. "My love for Sasuke was unhealthy – from the bits and pieces I can remember." Again, Itachi sighed and nodded once. It looked as though he wanted to interrupt, but he held his tongue, allowing her to try and sift through her thoughts unaided. "My love for you was based on us bonding over his betrayal." There was reluctance in the way Itachi nodded. "What about you, Shisui?" she questioned, looking to him helplessly. "What kind of love did we have?"
What kind of love did they have? That was a good question. What kind was it? Had they grown fond of each other due to the constant, close proximity? The intimacy, perhaps, that came with a constant carer by his side? Sakura had seen him at his absolute lowest – a sight not even himself had predicted to be possible. In all his life, he hadn't known there'd been such a darkness within him. The depression he'd sunk into had been beyond destructive. If that happened to be what bonded them, would that make their love more toxic than her love for Sasuke?
"I don't know."
"Companionship," Itachi added, frowning. "Your feelings for one another developed naturally, though weren't fully developed when you were taken hostage. There is still room for you to grow."
Was Itachi supporting it? Their potential relationship? Why?
"I'm so confused," Sakura suddenly growled, ripping her hands from his and slamming them down onto the table. It creaked and shook warningly, though not for a second did Itachi look away from her eyes – not like himself, who focused on the deadly, shaking weapons that were her fists. "How can I have feelings for three different people? Surely falling in love with a second person – with a third person – means my feelings for the person before weren't important?"
Damn, there was no mistaking the aching her words caused Itachi. He couldn't even look at her for a handful of seconds afterwards, his jaw clenching.
"Not necessarily-"
"Who's to say I won't do it again?" she demanded, clearly growing more agitated by the second. "Who's to say you're not lying to me?"
"Even in normal circumstances, you can never truly tell if a person is lying to you," Shisui answered after several moments when it became apparent Itachi had no answer. It was odd witnessing such a vulnerable side to him – vulnerability in terms of a romantic relationship, that was. How often had Sakura seen it? Was it why she valued their friendship so much? Why she defended him and stood by him so resolutely? "You must take their word for it."
Her eyes tightened, lips turning downwards. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do," she confided in them, voice shaking. "I don't even know how I feel."
"You don't have to do or feel anything," Itachi assured her, finally speaking up once more. "I cannot speak for my brother and Shisui, but I do not expect anything from you, Sakura."
"Now is not the time to be focusing on relationships," Shisui said, voicing his thoughts. "There is too much going on."
Pushing her the way he had, he quickly realised, had been a mistake. Instead of expecting her to know what she wanted, merely because of the pain it caused him waiting around, was inexcusably wrong of him. Sakura was suffering in ways he couldn't even imagine and he'd been expecting romance out of her. How could he do that? She didn't even know who she was anymore. How could he expect her to love anyone? To know them enough for that?
"Get the hell off me," came a harsh snarl and he sighed.
"Sasuke," Itachi said, almost reluctantly. Looking back to them, he admitted, "I was hoping this day would never come."
That, Shisui could believe. Never before had Itachi ever betrayed his younger brother or gone against his love for him. To him, Sasuke had always come first. He'd always been his first and most important priority. But, he'd blatantly disregarded said love when feelings for Sakura began to bloom. When Itachi said he attempted to court her, that meant he would have gone to his parents and the clan elders. It would have been official, not simply dating. Marriage had been awaiting them, if they'd accepted his wishes. Part of Shisui wanted to know how it all went down. Who was the one who said no? Was it their clansmen, or Sakura?
"It won't be an easy conversation."
The younger Uchiha didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the opening when he noticed a trembling, pale hand grab at the arch, clearly being held back. His knuckles turned white under the pressure and they heard a grunt of frustration.
"Get a hold of yourself, damn it," Naruto growled with a great deal of strain in his voice. That strain only became more obvious the louder he got, all but screaming, "What are you gonna do, huh? Kill him? Try to kill her again? Huh?"
It was instinctively that Shisui stood over Sakura with his back to her, hard eyes fixated on the opening to the meeting room – like his body moved of its own accord. Should Sasuke try to kill her, he would put him down. Itachi would have had to improve exponentially over the years to stand against him if he went at full strength, even if Shisui was sloppier now. Like hell would he allow for Sasuke lay another offensive hand on her.
Apparently it was only Naruto attempting to hold Sasuke back, Shisui noticed and his sharingan activated, preparing himself even when Itachi grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place. He ignored his friend, focus zeroing in on the youngest Uchiha when Sasuke's murderous eyes spotted them as he managed to drag himself half into the room, blood oozing down his cheeks, his vicious scowl twisting further at the sight of his brother.
"Let him come."
"Shisui-"
"I'm owed-"
Shisui ducked when he sensed danger, the table slamming into the wall and breaking apart like it was nothing more than a stick.
"I don't owe you a goddamn thing!" she yelled, voice echoing around them.
The pure malice in her voice had Shisui finally looking away from Sasuke, focusing on the way she panted and shook with her strength of her emotions, eyes burning into Sasuke's. For once, she didn't fear the sharingan – she stared it down coldly, daring him to harm her as she took a step closer to him.
"I don't owe you anything," she repeated, the words much quieter, but voice certainly not steady as it shook.
There was a harsh tug, a shake, almost, and Sasuke managed to free one of his arms completely. He swung, striking at the person directly behind him before kicking away from them. It seemed Kakashi had left it up to Naruto to calm him down, perhaps assuming the blond was capable of doing so, because he was nowhere to be seen. It infuriated Shisui beyond belief, because clearly, Sasuke was much stronger than his former teammate.
"My brother?" demanded Sasuke murderously and Shisui felt his eyes automatically going to the next stage in response. Who gave him the right to speak to her in such a way? Why did it seem so… natural for them? It sickened him. Unhealthy was an understatement when it came to them. It was toxic. "You slept with my brother?"
Itachi spun on his heel, warning him, "Sasuke, stop-"
"Stay the hell out of it," he spat.
He glanced back to Sakura upon sensing the change in her, as did Itachi, whose eyes widened in surprise, immediately going to her forehead. Why, he wasn't entirely sure, because there was nothing there to be seen. It was as pale and bruised as it had been moments before the sudden gain of chakra. Did she have a reserve pool of chakra he didn't know about? Wait, yes. Yes, she did. It was the Hokage's technique. And somehow, she had figured how to tap into it, or had done so unknowingly with the help of her heightened emotions.
Within seconds of sensing it, Itachi was on her, blocking her view of Sasuke and holding her still. He dared to close her fists in his hands, despite the fact they were glowing blue. "Do not-"
It sickened him to hear a sudden crunching of bones when she opened her fists and Shisui questioned just how monstrous her strength truly was, for the move seemed to require no effort on her part, whereas Itachi had attempted to fight her, using his own chakra to enhance his strength.
"Shit," grumbled Naruto and he once more tried to restrain Sasuke. His arm came around his throat and he spun him into the wall, other hand grabbing the back of his head to hold him still. "Look at what you're doing to her," he snarled, increasing his strength at the struggle. There was an awful sound of his skin scraping along the stone, cheek squashed and almost shutting his right eye entirely as he was forced to watch her. "Look at her, you bastard! Why the hell do you always do this to her? Why?"
It was becoming too chaotic, Shisui thought to himself. And others were quickly involving themselves, rushing to the defence of no doubt their leader – not the rest of them, just Itachi, for he would be the one to lead them in taking back Konoha. He assessed the area, eyes meeting Sasuke's enraged bloody eyes, showing that he was almost completely consumed by the Curse of Hatred. Then, he looked to Sakura, who was equally as lost in her own madness. Only, now, she had access to a frightening amount of chakra – enough to freak out his usually composed friend, who was barely managing to restrain her, no longer possessing the use of his hands. It was getting dangerous. Somebody was going to get seriously hurt.
He shut his eyes, breathing out slowly.
And then all those involved in the scuffle fell to the ground in boneless heaps.