Chapter 27 – The Love In My Heart

How long had they been waiting for her?

It was long overdue, wasn't it?

Three people stood before her, each holding the same unimpressed glower, holding stand-offish stances, occasionally meeting the other's eye. Whenever that happened, the disparagement, the intense dislike, grew, becoming palpable in the air around them. It was hard to even breathe under the suffocating discontent.

"Finally," came the agitated voice of her shishou.

Or was it her shishou? Was there any true way of knowing, considering how badly her mind was messed up?

"Shut up," snapped Inner-Sakura, her silhouette trembling as her body threatened to grow in size. "You annoy the hell out of me."

The third person merely watched her closely, those familiar green eyes scrutinising her every move, seemingly waiting for some kind of reaction. Being under such a weighted gaze made her skin itch and crawl, made her want to disappear into a hole in the ground, just to get away from it.

Was that the person she'd been before Danzo got his hands on her? Strong, unaffected – no, not unaffected, but definitely something close to that. She seemed unburdened, kind of. Sakura knew that her biggest problem was getting the boy she loved to return home. It was her confusing feelings towards his older brother and not knowing where she stood with either of them. That was life's hardest problem to her.

"Are you ready to let me back in?" she questioned, never looking away.

"It'll kill you," Tsunade warned.

Ignoring them both, Inner-Sakura stepped between them, filling her entire field of view, that strange negative tone of her body seeming endless. There was an imploring look in her eyes, features somewhat worried. "I've kept it all separated," she admitted to her. "Although I suppose I did a piss poor job, huh?"

"You did what you could," the third person said with a helpless sigh.

What did she even call her? They were both the same, weren't they? Yes, shit had happened – it was what caused the divide between them, turning them into two separate entities – but at the end of the day, they were the same person. Right? Was she right?

"Will it hurt?" she found herself asking.

The other person shrugged, eyes tired. "Can it get any worse?"

Yes. It could. Whatever the hell Inner-Sakura was trying to protect her from had to be traumatising, otherwise she wouldn't have separated them. She wouldn't have put barriers up in her mind.

But…

Could it get any worse than witnessing herself being sterilised? Was anything worse than that? Even having her heart toyed with – while frustrating – didn't compare. Danzo had taken away her future. Her chance to have children of her own. To build her own family. She was now a genetic dead end.

"It'll either make you stronger, or turn you into a zombie," her inner self muttered. "But only if you let it."

Sakura looked around herself, taking in the field they were standing it.

Why was it always a field? Barring the time in Shisui's genjutsu, every time she'd disappeared in her mind, going to her happy place, it was always the same goddamn field filled with different flowers. The colours were always obnoxiously bright, their vibrancy refusing to allow her to focus on once particular flower for too long, as they were all beautiful and demanded her attention, seemingly shimmering whenever the wind picked up and disturbed them. Kind of like her mind, now that Sakura thought about it. It was like symbolism, in a way. Like the flowers, her rampant, confused thoughts and the voices in her head refused to be ignored, each trying to outdo the other.

"We used to play in this field when we were younger," she told her.

"We did?"

"All the time." Seeing that she had her undivided attention, the other woman stepped forward, offering a small smile while her hands clasped behind her back. "Back before we even graduated the academy. It was always us and Ino."

Ino.

The thought of her friend made her chest give a painful squeeze. "I-I don't even know…"

Another smile. Albeit, a strained one. "Don't worry about Ino-Pig. She'll be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" questioned Tsunade. "You seem too confident."

Yes, she did, didn't she? If she truly was a part of herself that'd been locked away – the weaker part of her, so that she would be able to cope – then how could she possibly know Ino's fate? How would she know if she was okay? For all they knew, Ino was dead. She was gone. The person before her, for all she knew, was lying to her.

"You're the one who's been trying to take control," Sakura accused after several moments, glaring half-heartedly. "Why should I trust anything you say?"

"It's my body too," she argued. Despite the harshness of her words, she was calm. Somewhat understanding. "It was mine long before you were created."

"Yet you were too weak to withstand the torture," Tsunade commented and her arms folded, eyes narrowing fractionally. "Hence why this version of Sakura was created."

"Either way, both of us – all three of us – make sense." Inner-Sakura came to stand before them both, situating herself in front of Tsunade. "You, on the other hand, don't belong here."

"Don't I?"

Did she? There were so many possibilities as to why she could see Tsunade, weren't there? After ingesting so much of her blood, there was that possibility of her shishou's chakra being laced within it, hiding within the deepest parts of her mind, waiting for the best opportunity to speak with her. Maybe she was looking at the real Tsunade?

Something in the other Sakura's expression saddened, her green eyes haunted. "Trust me, I want nothing more than to believe in that. To have one last conversation with Tsunade-sama, but…" Dimples showed in her chin, gaze averting. Had she even looked Tsunade's way? Sakura couldn't recall. "But that's not her. That impostor isn't even good enough to call her shell."

"Listen," Inner-Sakura stated but didn't turn, keeping her eyes glued on Tsunade's. "Staying the way you are now isn't an option."

But why not?

"It's not only affecting us," the other woman told her. Blindly gesturing to the field, she said, "This is nice and all, but I've been trapped away in here way too long now. I need to get back out there and do what I'm best at. I need to help those people."

What if she didn't help? What if, instead, she turned on them all? What would Sakura do then? Nothing. She wouldn't be able to do anything because once the other Sakura took control once more, there was no telling what would happen to her.

"You'll still be here," she assured her gently, another one of her kind smiles pulling at the corners of her lips. "We'll be merged. Together, we'll be able to help so many people. Together, we'll make Danzo pay."

There were so many differences between them, Sakura couldn't help but notice, slowly approaching her.

Unlike herself, who would have flinched if someone reached out to touch her, the other Sakura merely stood her ground, allowing her to traces the unmarred pale skin, to feel the smooth fullness of her lips, the pretty smile that pulled on them making her swallow hard. There were no scars or bruises on her body, her skin endless in its silky, pale perfection.

Reaching up, Sakura fingered the ends of her impossibly soft hair before the state of her fingers caught her attention.

It made her stomach churn when she also reached up, their hands coming to together, flattening, admiring the differences in their bodies.

"You're just as much a part of me as I am you," she murmured. Then, surprising her, their fingers linked.

Merged.

Was that what it would be like?

"Can you even handle it?" demanded Tsunade harshly. There was a scowl on her features, one that resembled her shishou down to the finest detail and it had Sakura biting her abused lip. "You couldn't handle it before. What makes you so sure you won't succumb to the horrors she's been through?"

Green eyes flashed with determination, though took a moment to give Tsunade a side-eyed glance. "The real Tsunade-sama would never have doubted us. She knew that, eventually, we would achieve our goals and more." Their gazes met once more. "I'm not saying things will be perfect. We're going to struggle – more than we've ever struggled in our entire lives. But there are so many people out there who I love and they need me right now. Please, if not for us, do it for them." Her eyes were begging it of her, searching her broken features imploringly. "Please, let me heal them."

What was she supposed to do?

The woman before her was an emotional mess, one who often gave in to said emotions, leaving herself open and vulnerable. While Sakura would never deny that she often got lost in her mind, it was not due to her emotions. Or was it?

"Will I still be confused all the time?"

A frown. "I'm hoping that'll pass once we merge and Inner-Sakura gives us all our memories back," she told her honestly. "But there's no true way of knowing."

"I'll only do it piece by piece," she told them both and finally turned, frowning at them. "I'd rather not be stuck inside a zombie, y'know."

Was that how Inner-Sakura was formed? Because of Danzo? Or had she always been there?

"No, she was formed back when I was a child," she informed her, answering her thoughts. "Back when I was being bullied, I suppressed so many emotions and thoughts. I was too scared to speak out or stand up for myself, so I would bottle everything up and those negative emotions manifested, turning into Inner-Sakura." Smiling somewhat, she looked to her inner self almost fondly. "She helped me cope with so many traumas."

"So what's she?" demanded Sakura suddenly, looking over the other Sakura's shoulder unsurely. "What role does she have in all this?"

"This," said Inner-Sakura with great contempt. "This is Danzo's way of manipulating you."

What?

"It'll all make sense once we're merged," she was assured once more. "That impostor may have Tsunade-shishou's face and voice, but she's nothing like the woman who made us into who we are. That woman…" She raised their joined hands, giving a comforting squeeze before placing said hands over her heart. "She's gone, but at the same time, she's still here."

The fake Tsunade scoffed, her annoyance palpable in the air around them and Sakura found herself biting her lip once more. Looking over in her direction showed her that she was growing increasingly agitated, fingers tapping a restless rhythm on her bicep once her arms had folded beneath her chest.

"You're a fool if you trust them."

Was she?

"Danzo knows how to get to you," Inner-Sakura countered, shooting Tsunade a deathly glare as her silhouette began trembling again. "He's knows that by using her, he can make us do anything."

Could he?

"Think about it," her other self said, their gazes locking once more. Could she see how startled she was? How confused? Wait, yes she could, because she could hear her thoughts. No, wait. They had the same thoughts, didn't they? "She was our shishou. We admired her and followed her every order without really thinking about it. We…" She smiled hopelessly, tears filling her eyes. "We loved her."

Did she really want to merge with her if she was so emotionally weak?

"This is who we are," she said firmly despite the tears. "Yes, we're emotionally weak, but that makes us strong in other ways."

Desperation. She could sense it coming from all three women before her, each needing to get through to her and it had Sakura taking a step back, yanking her hand back to herself when she realised she was still holding hers.

Who the hell was she supposed to believe?

Merging with the person she'd once been seemed too dangerous. What if they couldn't overcome the trauma they'd been through? What if they couldn't move forward and remained in a zombie-like state? What if her weakness got them killed? After all, it was that weakness that allowed them to be captured in the first place. Her need to protect Shisui and Sasuke. To put everyone before herself.

"It's called being selfless," she answered her thoughts.

"It's called being pitiful," argued Tsunade.

"Did Tsunade-sama risk her life saving everyone in the village because she was pitiful?" she countered without pause.

Listening to Tsunade – or the fake Tsunade – seemed most logical. No, no it didn't. Not if she was an impostor. But… was she? What if she really had manifested due to the blood she'd been forced to ingest? What if the other Sakura was refusing to admit to that because of her grief? It wasn't really so far-fetched, was it? Seeing her shishou during psychological distress?

"No, it's not," Tsunade replied haughtily, daring to step closer. "Look at me, Sakura."

"Don't," Inner-Sakura warned and stepped directly in front of her, blocking the view. "Don't look into his eyes."

"We'll go straight back to square one."

"But if you're parts of her psyche, how could Danzo possibly have a hand in this?" questioned Tsunade, making Sakura scowl with the confusion it stirred within her. "Unless he used the sharingan to put you here?"

At the widening of her eyes, the other Sakura reacted quickly by stepping closer to her, hands raising, her own features filling with fearful pleading. "Please, don't shut me out again. Please. I don't want to be in the dark again. Please. Please-"

How the hell could they expect her to merge with someone like that? Sakura took a step back, refusing to be touched, flinching away from her like being within arm's reach of her other self would infect her.

"Stop it," Inner-Sakura snapped. "You need to be stronger than that."

"You're not the one locked away," she snapped angrily, her frantic eyes sliding from Inner-Sakura to her. It made her feel uncomfortable. "This is my body, damn it!"

"No, it's not-"

Taking them all by surprise, Inner-Sakura suddenly quadrupled in size, rounding on Tsunade and grabbing her, holding her securely in both hands. Sakura couldn't see the look on her face, but the unexpected size difference alone caused her to stumble backwards, falling on her ass when she tripped over herself.

The other Sakura was on her in a second. "Listen to me, please," she begged, grabbing at her arms despite the struggle to create more distance. "We need to merge, otherwise we're going to keep fighting for control. I'm not letting you take my body from me."

"No-"

"Shut up," snarled Inner-Sakura, her grip tightening, making Tsunade gasp for breath, eyes squeezing shut, features scrunching up with pain.

Her heart lurched. "Shishou-"

"Damn it, that's not Tsunade-sama," the other Sakura snapped and pinned her, refusing to let her look anywhere else, green clashing with green. "Merge with me and you'll see!"

No–

"Now!"

She couldn't–

"Please live, Sakura."

The voice had her stiffening, had the woman above her flinching before growing more desperate.

"You hear that?" she demanded angrily, shaking her roughly. "Do you hear that pain in his voice? He needs us. As long as there are people out there who need me to heal them, I'm going to keep fighting you. You're always going to be in pain because like hell are you keeping my body!"

"Forgive me, Sakura."

"Listen to them."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Hear them!"

White hot pain flared from her stomach, making her meet the other Sakura's eye fearfully. "You're the one…"

"Who stabbed us?" she finished for her, raising an eyebrow. "You bet your ass I am. And I'll keep doing it if you ever threaten to bring any harm to my precious people."

She swallowed hard.

"So what's it gonna be?" Inner-Sakura questioned, still glaring down on the thrashing Tsunade. "Are you merging or are you going to keep fighting us for the rest of your life? Living in constant pain? Always confused and missing parts of your memory?"

Her hands shook.

Where was she?

What happened?

Bleary eyes took several moments to respond to her demand of opening, her surroundings only vaguely familiar when she finally managed to control them.

Beeping gained her attention, as did the sound of a quiet hum of chakra, the sounds transporting her mind back to the times when she'd been foolish enough to let someone best her in battle. It hadn't happened many times, but the times when it had, she'd ended up in a hospital. Was that where she was now? A hospital? How?

Everything hurt, Sakura noticed when she tried to move her elbow, attempting to lean up on it for a better view.

If she wasn't mistaken, given the poorly decorated walls and the lack of comfort surrounding her, then she knew exactly where she was. But surely not? How would they have escaped? How would they manage to make it all the way there?

The sound of laboured breathing made her squint, looking to the motionless body beside her. A man hooked onto a ventilator, she noticed. He was–

Shisui.

Weakly, she fought the agony her body was in, the blaring pain in her stomach shocking her and she threw her head back, barely holding back her shout of pain, eyes squeezing shut.

Gods, she hadn't been looking forward to waking up to the trauma her body had been through, the countless tortures methods threatening to render it completely useless. How had she been managing to move up until that point? How had she been able to fight? Sakura didn't even want to imagine how it had felt before Sōzō Saisei had healed her of all open wounds.

It took too long for her to be able to lean up on her left elbow, body tilting slightly in Shisui's direction, allowing her to look at the state he was in, the sight making her bite her lip worriedly.

There were tubes everywhere, accompanied by a seal placed over his eyes. The only reason she knew it to be Shisui was by his wild hair and stature.

How had he gotten so…?

There were no memories of what happened after she stabbed herself. Everything had quickly faded to black. Obviously, based on where they were, they'd managed to get away from Danzo and his ROOT operatives somehow. Had the others managed to escape safely?

"Oi, you're not going anywhere," came the assertive voice of a woman she hadn't realised she'd missed. A hand came to her shoulder, pinning her carefully and Sakura felt an intense emotion bubbling to the surface at the sight of her fierce features. "They've only just stabilised you, Sakura."

"T-Temari…"

She flashed that wild smile of hers, teal eyes creasing. "Feel free to be offended, but it looks like you've seen better days."

Had she not been in so much pain, Sakura would have laughed. "Understatement."

"They say you're insane now," she said at length. Eyes narrowing suspiciously, she gave her a once over. "You're not about to stab me in the back, are you?"

Insane? Really? Who out of their small group would have said such a thing about her? "You should know me better than that."

"I'll admit stabbing yourself in the stomach to save someone does sound eerily similar to the Sakura who did the same thing to save a Suna-nin who meant nothing to her," replied Temari somewhat thoughtfully. She took a step back, sitting in the seat beside her bed. Going off the bag to the right of the seat, Sakura was willing to bet it hadn't been vacant for long. "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

"How…?"

"Did you get here?" She could only nod. "No idea. I just got back from a mission and heard you were here. If Gaara's concerned, you know it's serious."

Gaara was concerned about her? Why? They hadn't spent much, if any, time together outside of a single mission with their teams and her healing him a couple of times. Hell, Sakura couldn't recall ever holding a conversation with him – nothing more than a polite, formal greeting in passing. Although, she supposed she had been present to several meetings between himself and Tsunade.

After a moment of careful consideration, Temari sat forward, frowning slightly. "Don't get me wrong, I'll gladly help with putting that chauvinistic pig down, but we can't drag Suna into a war its not ready for. Not with Madara on the horizon."

Wait, what? "Madara? As in Uchiha Madara?"

"Oh, you've missed so much," she said with a cold laugh.

"And now is not the time to overload her mind," came a clipped voice from behind a curtain, making Temari stand to grant her younger brother access to her. It irked Sakura, since she was not asked if it was okay, but she held her tongue. She was, after all, in the presence of the Kazekage now. "How are you feeling?"

How was it that Gaara never seemed to change much in terms of appearance, yet grew in leaps mentally and emotionally? She watched as he approached her hospital bed, coming to stand beside a now serious Temari, his red hair as messy as ever, those icy blue eyes immobilising her like they always had.

"Sore," she replied after several moments. "I'm sorry for being rude, but where is everyone?"

"Safe," he said, something in his eyes telling her not to delve too deep for answers, making her question where exactly she and Shisui were being treated. Surely not the actual hospital? "Going off the information given to me, I was assuming you to be unstable. It is why I am here."

Was that an accusation? She couldn't really tell. As always, Gaara's expression was closed off, refusing to give her any inclination as to what he was truly feeling. Gods, she hated it when people did that. It always made her second guess herself, or feel as though she was walking on eggshells.

Warily, she glanced to Shisui, worry blooming in her chest. "Is he going to be okay?"

"The medics would still be here if he wasn't."

Of course. She bit her lip, unsurprised to find that it didn't hurt. Sōzō Saisei would have healed it. "He sounds like he's still in pain."

"Why do they think you are insane?"

Was he interrogating her?

Even after so many years of knowing Gaara was a good person trying to make up for all the horrors he'd caused, Sakura couldn't deny that the guy scared her at times. He was still unpredictable, in a way. Or was that her imagination?

"Who said I'm insane?" she asked.

"Naruto said you're unstable-"

"But not insane?"

"Are they so different?"

"Massively." He, of all people, should know that, she inwardly added.

His lips thinned, the first show of emotion she'd seen from him in a while. "Danzo held you captive." Reluctantly, she nodded. "After staging a coup d'état." Another nod. "How does a man like that manage to overwhelm a village as powerful as Konoha?"

The question irked her. "He has an underground organisation called ROOT. Their arsenal is unknown."

"You-"

"I want to see the others," she stated suddenly, uncaring for sounding rude. Before the attack, Sakura knew that she would have blanched at the mere thought of cutting Gaara, the Kazekage and former psychopath who'd tried to murder the whole of Team Seven, off mid-sentence. Maybe merging hadn't been so bad after all? "Unless this is an official interrogation, Kazekage-sama?"

"Hardly," he replied and his arms folded over his chest. "I want to know what we will be up against, should we join forces with you."

Green eyes went wide. "W-What?"

Temari frowned faintly. "Tsunade was a good woman and an even greater Hokage."

She met Gaara's eyes once more, throat dry as he told her, "Suna will fight for Konoha."

"…Eh?"

What the hell had happened while she was out?