Sakura tried to reign in her racing heart as she strode into the back rooms at the clubhouse and entered what she assumed to be Izuna's personal room. Her mind was so clouded that she hardly even registered the maroon and black themed room which was decorated much in the same way as Madara's.
She purposefully looked away from the hanging banner on the wall of the Uchiha MC's crest, instead focusing on Itachi, Izumi, and Shisui as they laid Izuna on top of a worn blanket and covered him in a patchy comforter. She assumed it was to keep the blood that was still splattered across the vice president from staining his good bedding.
Sakura watched at Kagami carefully hung Izuna's bloodied cut on one of the posts of the elder Uchiha's bed frame. Sakura felt as her stomach rolled, her barely contained anxiety bubbling to the surface at the stark reminder of what she had done.
She had saved Izuna's life but she had signed hers away in the process. She could lose everything...
As if sensing her inner struggle, none of the Uchiha spoke to her as they exited the room, only glancing at her with expressions which did a poor job of concealing their concern. As Izumi passed, Sakura reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to halt her.
"Izumi," Sakura started, clearing her throat when her voice came out weaker than she liked, "Could I ask you a favor?"
"Of course," Izumi returned, a frown pulling at her lips at Sakura's tone.
"I just need help gathering some additional supplies."
"Not a problem. What do you need?"
"Okay, first off, I need a blood pressure cuff, a stethoscope, some more clean towels, water..." the doctor listed, trying to gather her scattering thoughts to give the elder woman a comprehensive list.
"Izuna's bathroom works, is that alright for water?" Izumi gestured to the closed door on the opposite side of the bedroom.
"Yeah, that will be fine. I just want to clean him up a bit so I can keep an eye on his wound."
"Okay. Yashiro has high blood pressure so we have a old blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope behind the bar. Is that okay? Would an automatic cuff be better? We had one but it broke..." Izumi's eyebrows furrowed, "I could stop by your apartment if you need something."
"No, it's fine. It's better to do it manually anyways. I'm more worried about these medications I need." Sakura almost ran her fingers through her hair before her eyes settled on the blood still staining her hands. She clenched her fist and dropped it back to her side. "He's going to need some pain killers. Morphine would be most effective for now but Hydrocodone or something similar will work as well."
"Alright, I know someone who can help with that."
"I need antibiotics as well. A penicillin based antibiotic would be fine like Benzylpenicillin or a Piperacillin and Tazobactam mix. I would really prefer a cephalosporin and an aminoglycoside though. They would be much more effective with bacteria's growing resistance to penicillins," Sakura listed, Izumi's face pinching in confusion.
"I'm going to need you to write that down for me, Dr. Haruno... Preferably in legible handwriting. I'm not sure if they teach terrible handwriting in medical school," the brunette attempted to joke with a tentative smile.
Sakura tried to crack a smile in response but it didn't meet her eyes. Her huff of a laugh was even less convincing, only pulling the corners of Izumi's lips downwards once again.
"I'm not that bad yet," Sakura muttered.
The elder woman stared into Sakura's eyes for a long moment as if searching for something in her gaze. Before Sakura felt the discomfort from Izumi's weighed stare, the elder woman turned away, gathering a pad of paper and a pen from Izuna's fairly organized desk.
After handing her the supplies, Sakura took a deep breath and began to jot down the names of the medications she needed.
She could feel her anxiety building up even farther within her, the situation feeling more and more surreal and more and more wrong as she continued. She had already implicated herself by saving Izuna's life... What would be the harm in making sure he didn't get an infection?
Even as these thoughts passed through her mind, the tension within her refused to ebb. When the pen she was writing with began to give out, the ink stopping and starting as she tried to write out the complicated names of the medications, Sakura could feel as her control began to crack.
She paused for a moment, clenching her teeth as her stress began to overwhelm her, her muscles wrought with tension. She forced herself to finish her list with the dying pen, even as the ball of tension in her chest continued to weigh down her heart and make her feel sick to her stomach.
Izumi frowned deeply as she took the list from the Sakura's outstretched hand, her sharp eyes scanning over the words written to make sure she understood. Her parting words were short. "I'll be back in a minute..."
Sakura was left in the quiet room, the only sound being Izuna's breathing and her own pounding heartbeat.
She took a few deep breaths to try to calm herself as she dragged a chair from Izuna's desk to his bedside. She slumped down in the seat with a heavy sigh and placed the new bag of saline on his bedside table.
Needing something to busy herself, and needing to check on her patient's vital signs after the surgery, Sakura gently settled her middle and forefinger against the pulse point on Izuna's wrist. She focused on the clock hanging on the wall to count the seconds as she measured the Uchiha's pulse.
His pulse was still high and thready although it was much better than what she had felt when she had started his IV earlier. She was grateful that the IV hadn't infiltrated either, the skin at his IV site still warm and a healthy color.
When Izumi entered the room once again, Sakura turned to face her.
"Here. They're old but they work fine," she stared as handed Sakura a stethoscope, one part of the tube taped with electrical tape as if to fix a tear, and a worn blood pressure cuff, "There should be clean washcloths in the bathroom."
Sakura looped the stethoscope around her neck, the tool a familiar and comforting weight, and set the cuff in her lap.
"And, uh... Don't ask, but here," the Uchiha continued as she reached into her pocket and handed Sakura an untouched bottle of morphine and a handful of different gauged needles and different sized syringes, "And I wasn't sure what needle and stuff you needed..."
Sakura gazed down at the glass bottle of clear fluid, easily recognizing the medication she had given to patients hundreds of times over the years. A very high dosage, not something easy to get ahold of.
"Thanks," Sakura muttered, running her thumb across the label on the bottle as she wondered if Izumi had gotten ahold of this from Obito.
Izumi paused, the silence stretching between them for a long moment as if she was trying to come up with something to say. She took in a deep breath as if prepared to speak her thoughts but instead released it in a sigh.
"I'll see what I can do about those antibiotics. I'm thinking it's going to take a while to get them though."
"Thank you. And that's fine. He just needs them soon," Sakura replied as she set down the bottle of morphine, the syringes, and the needles on the bedside table, next to the fresh bag of saline.
As she removed the stethoscope from around her neck and unrolled the worn blood pressure cuff, she noticed that the brunette still lingered uncertainly.
"Alright, I'll... I'll be back later," the young Uchiha finally stated softly before turning and disappearing once again.
Sakura was careful as she lifted the bedspread and laced the blood pressure cuff around Izuna's naked bicep. She popped the earpieces of the stethoscope into her ear and placed the diaphragm against the crook of the Uchiha's elbow. Twisting the knob on the air release valve, she pumped the cuff full of air.
She listened for the sound of Izuna's heartbeat as she slowly deflated the cuff and, when the sound finally met her ears, she was worried about how low the number on the gauge was. When the sound of his heartbeat disappeared once again, she made a mental note of the number and deflated the cuff the rest of the way.
While the injured Uchiha's blood pressure was low, it was just barely high enough for her to think he could tolerate the morphine without bottoming out. She would have to keep a close eye on him all night and he would definitely need that second bag of saline but she was confident that he would tolerate the medicine.
As Sakura carefully undid the worn cuff from Izuna's arm, she heard the door open and slowly close. As she set aside the equipment for easy access, she turned to face the newcomer and was surprised to see Madara.
Despite knowing he would come to see his brother and her soon, her mouth still popped open in surprise. She gazed up at him, eyes rounded, as he stared at her with an expression of obvious concern and discomfort.
Sakura opened her mouth to speak but instead shut it with a frown. She turned to face Izuna once again, looking away from her lover, as Madara slowly entered farther into the room.
"He's lucky the bullet didn't hit the vein or the artery at his back or his kidneys. He would have bled out before anyone could have helped him..." Sakura started as she grabbed the bottle of morphine off of the bedside table. Her eyes flicked across the label once again, double checking, before she selected a syringe and a needle from the pile Izumi had brought her.
"The bullet tore a hole in one of his blood vessels but I was hopefully able to fix that. He needs someone to keep a close eye on him in case it tears open again. The sutures were too big and I'm worried about how they'll fare..." she continued in a soft voice, screwing the needle into the syringe before popping off the protective cap. She sunk the needle into the bottle of morphine and drew up half a milliliter before pulling it back out.
She could feel Madara's gaze on her back but ignored it as she popped the cap back onto the needle before unscrewing it from the syringe. She set the covered needle and the bottle of morphine onto Izuna's bedside table. Slowly standing, she reached over and grasped the IV tubing still pumping saline into Izuna's arm.
"As it is now, his blood pressure is good enough to where he won't need any blood. This saline will be enough. It's even high enough to where I can give him something for the pain." Sakura screwed the syringe into the port on the IV tubing and gradually injected the contents of the syringe. Once done, she unscrewed the syringe and dropped it onto the bedside table next to the other used supplies.
"He's going to need antibiotics to prevent infection as well. The surgery I did was not sterile..." Sakura finished with a silent sigh, folding her arms across her chest as she continued to avoid Madara's gaze.
"Thank you, Sakura, I can't-" Madara finally started as he slowly approached Sakura, his footsteps cautious despite his words.
"We need to talk," Sakura interrupted seriously, still not looking at him, as she sat back down in the chair at Izuna's bedside.
The heavy pause that followed spanned a few tense heartbeats.
"Yes, I suspect that you have a lot of questions," the eldest Uchiha muttered as he gently sat on the edge of Izuna's bed, careful not to disturb his sleeping brother.
Sakura huffed. "That's one way of saying it…"
Silence once again stretched between them as they both watched as Izuna's face relaxed in his sleep, the morphine finally whisking away the injured Uchiha's pain. The doctor gently took her patient's arm in her hands, pressing her fingertips to his wrist so she could check his pulse for a full minute.
Even as she used the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope that Izumi had given her to check Izuna's blood pressure, Madara patiently waited for her to finish.
Once done, Sakura set her supplies on the bedside table. She clenched and unclenched her fists before lacing her fingers together nervously. She took a deep, unsteady breath before finally looking at Madara.
"I need you to be honest with me. I need to hear the truth because I need to know what I've gotten myself into…" she urged, her tone strained.
"Are you positive that you want to hear this? You know some of what we do, some of what I do, but you don't know the full extent," Madara questioned, his concern obvious on his face.
"I've already implicated myself by saving Izuna's life. I need to know what I've made myself a part of," Sakura pressed, "I need to know who you really are."
The Uchiha frowned deeply, his expression torn. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything. I need you to tell me everything, Madara."
"Where do you want me to start?"
"The very beginning."
Madara was silent for a long few moments, his head tilting downwards as he gazed at the floor. His eyes flicked up to the blood still staining her hands and her clothes before returning to the floor. He briefly closed his eyes, as if steeling himself, before he nodded almost imperceptibly. When his gaze returned to hers, his expression seemed somehow resigned.
"The Uchiha and the Senju were the same family, the same club, once, a little more than a century ago," the Uchiha started, Sakura's eyebrows raising in surprise at his first revelation, "They were called the Otsutsuki MC, and they were one of the more infamous clubs in history. They were a powerful group of individuals, lead by a bloodthirsty woman known as Kaguya, the Rabbit Queen. She would go on to be violently usurped by her sons, Hagoromo and Hamura, an overthrowing which would lead to the death of both Kaguya and Hamura."
Sakura adjusted in her seat, turning to face Madara more fully as he continued.
"The Otsutsuki would have Hagoromo, a man who would bring an era of peace, at it's head for decades. With Kaguya having been killed and with Hagoromo as the club's president, the MC easily maintained the peace with the other clubs and organizations in the country. At least until it came time to choose the next president of the club, one of Hagoromo's two sons: Indra or Asura," Madara explained, lacing his fingers together as he spoke.
"Indra was a stoic man and was difficult to get along with, as I'm lead to believe. But he had a keen eye for club affairs and maintaining respectful relations with the other groups. Asura was affable and made friends easily, but had no knowledge or interest in the details of running the club. Most wanted Indra to lead with Asura being at his side as VP," Madara paused for a moment, considering, "One could say both brothers did as well."
"I was told that some test was given by Hagoromo to determine which son would earn the seat of president. The details are fuzzy but each son had to assist an ally club with some task. Indra came back first, having succeeded in his task by himself. Asura came back months later, having also succeeded but having had worked with the allied club to accomplish the task instead."
Sakura spoke for the first time since Madara had began, quietly asking, "I thought the club didn't chose presidents like heirs?"
"We don't and this is why," Madara answered before continuing, "The father chose Asura to be the new president and this lead to a severe divide between not only the club but between the brothers as well. Indra was furious at having been denied what he had always been told would be his because he had helped their ally himself instead of working with them to accomplish the goal. Asura had no idea how to run the club and made numerous mistakes that afforded the MC quite a few enemies thereafter."
Sakura only broke her concentration to turn to check on Izuna's condition, the younger Uchiha's breathing stable and pulse growing stronger with each drip of saline.
"Everything came to a head once Asura discovered Indra had been taking matters into his own hands to try to fix the relations between the club and the other groups. The other clubs saw the MC as being divided, which it was, and this escalated until the club split down the middle. Indra left, taking half of the Otsutsuki and creating the Uchiha MC," Madara gestured with one hand and then the other, "Those who sided with Asura wanted to show that they weren't the remainders but rather a newly revived club. None wanted to bloody reputation of Otsutsuki, one that still lingered even after the murder of the Rabbit Queen. They renamed themselves the Senju MC."
"Everyone split apart because of sibling rivalry?" Sakura questioned in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowed.
"I suppose you could summarize it as that, although it was a bit more complicated," Madara replied, lacing his fingers together once more.
"How did the war between the clubs start then? Why is everyone trying to kill each other now?" the Sakura pushed.
"The clubs had broken apart into two separate entities that resented one another. Allies were made and each ally has it's own enemies to bring to the table. More foes were discovered on top of that. Battles were fought over resources, to sate allies, or out of spite for one another. Bad blood became that much more tainted."
"The war that we're in now, however, began during the reign of Indra and Asura. The Senju say that it was an accident, my family is certain it was assassination..." Madara paused as if considering his words. "No one knows the truth for certain but one of Asura's sons, a patched in member of the Senju MC, killed Indra's adolescent daughter."
Sakura's jaw dropped, her eyes widening in shock.
Madara continued. "Indra was furious and inconsolable. He went on a warpath that the Uchiha gladly followed. Indra killed Asura's son for the death of his only daughter and Asura swore to get revenge for killing his son over something that had been a tragic accident."
"This is what began the cycle of revenge between our families, only escalating over time," the Uchiha finished, "It's been a century of bad blood and nothing has been able to put an end to the hatred between our families."
"Has anyone ever tried?" Sakura tried, concern overtaking her expression.
"I did once. I…" Madara sighed deeply, "When I was a child, I made friends with a boy my age who went to a nearby school. We shared the same interests, we would spar at the park together, run off to the nearby river to throw stones, and I once considered him to be my closest friend. This boy was a Senju."
Sakura listened intently, hope beginning to show in her expression as the Uchiha recounted the tale from his childhood.
"We found out that we were part of two families that were mortal enemies but didn't care. We dreamed of finding a way to put an end to the war we had grown up in. We wanted a city where we didn't have to worry about losing our brothers, where the Uchiha and Senju could live together in peace…" Madara shook his head with a bittersweet smile, his gaze dropping to the floor momentarily as he recalled his childhood dream.
Madara's smile slowly melted away, replaced instead by a scowl, as if his recollection had been interrupted by some dark memory. "We would often get into trouble for staying out so late and, one day, his brother followed us to the river. When he discovered who I was, he told his father. Little did I know, Izuna had done the same. The next time my friend and I ran off to that river, our fathers and brothers appeared. When our fathers recognized each other, they immediately opened fire."
Sakura gasped softly, her eyes widening as her stained hand came up to her lips. Her hand clenching into a fist which she dropped to her knee, anger building within her at the thought of these two barbaric men trying to kill each other in front of their own children.
Gods, what if Madara or Izuna had been shot? Had their fathers not been thinking? ...Did they even care?
"It was because of our friendship that we almost got each other killed, that I almost got Izuna killed," Madara hissed, his voice strained as he scowled at the floor, "After that, both my friend and I knew we were destined to be enemies because of our families. Every time that we met from then on, we fought."
The fury melted away from Madara's face, his expression instead becoming one of careful indifference. "This boy grew to be the president of the Senju MC. His name is Hashirama."
"You were childhood friends with the current Senju MC president? Doesn't that mean you could both work together to stop the war, like what you two had dreamed of as kids?" Sakura suggested hopefully, sitting up straighter in her seat as she locked gazes with Madara.
His returning smile was once again bittersweet. "We tried. We drafted a treaty, more of an armistice than anything else. By then, we had both lost our parents. He had lost two of his four brothers, I had lost three of mine. We wanted to stop the war. We wanted to save the family members we had left."
"The peace only lasted for five months until it was brought to my attention that Hashirama's brother Tobirama, the VP of their club, was leading attacks on our properties," Madara's eyes narrowed, his anger at the betrayal of the Senju surfacing as he spoke, "They robbed a handful of our warehouses, stealing our stockpiles of weaponry and taking advantage of the ceasefire to get through our defenses."
"I sent squads out into their territories to take back what they had stolen. It wasn't long before the battles that ensued brought the Senju out. The brawl at the Dead End, the day you and I first met, was the official end of our paper thin armistice."
"Why did he commit these robberies if you were finally working towards peace?" Sakura countered, shocked that someone would go out of their way to try to make the peace fail, "Didn't he want the war to stop as well?"
"Not everyone in our families thinks like I do. Not everyone wanted peace through forgiveness. Most want peace by ending the lives of every member of the other family," Madara explained darkly.
"That's… impossible and horrible. No one will even win then, this will just go on forever. It's pointless!" Sakura returned, dread at the hopelessness of the situation settling in her chest next to the ball of tension still at home there.
She could only imagine how Madara must feel.
The Uchiha club president simply nodded solemnly, his gaze drifting to his still sleeping brother. "It is."
The silence that stretched between them afterwards was weighed down by the heaviness of the hopeless war. Sakura reached out, carefully settling her fingertips on Izuna's wrist to check his pulse once again. Despite his heart rate having slowed with the morphine, it appeared to have raised since she last checked. Satisfied that this reflected a slow improvement in his condition, she released his wrist.
Sakura pulled back, sinking back into her chair, her arms folding across her chest defensively. She had so many questions in her mind but knew that many of them would have answers that would upset her. Answers that would finally reveal to her the kind of man she had fallen in love with.
She knew that she needed the answers to these questions but that didn't help abate the dread building in her heart.
Sakura finally looked back up at Madara and forced out, "What do your clubs even do? Besides killing each other?"
Madara's gaze finally broke from Izuna to return to her once again. He looked into her eyes for a few heartbeats before he spoke.
"We are gun runners. We purchase a variety of weapons from a supplier that we sell to the smaller clubs and other organizations around the country," Madara answered honestly before sighing silently and continuing, "We are also mercenaries of a sort. We take jobs from people who need things done discreetly. Often times, these turn out to be things such as robberies, arsons, debt collection, information gathering, abductions, or hits."
Sakura felt her heart race in her chest as the ball of dread in her chest grew larger.
"You're all…" Sakura started quietly, "Gun runners and assassins?"
"Not all of us. The club itself sells weapons but each member takes on certain jobs because they like them or can tolerate them. Some of us enjoy breaking and entering, others arson," Madara's gaze returned to his brother, "Few of us can tolerate taking out hits or abductions."
Sakura swallowed back the lump building in her throat as she asked, "Which are you?"
Madara looked back to her, his expression serious. "Do you really want to know?"
Even though her heart flew in her chest and even though she knew she wouldn't like the answer, she firmly replied, "Yes."
"Over the twenty plus years that I've been a patched in member of the club... I have done everything. I spent the most time as a debt collector. I have committed robberies and arson, I've abducted people, I've taken part in... information gathering and, well…" He reached up to rub his bicep through his shirt, the numerous bands tattooed around his arm just beneath the cloth. "You figured out what these bands around my arms mean already."
"...Information gathering?" she whispered, already knowing what he meant.
He closed his eyes for a moment before he took a breath. "Torture."
"Why?" Sakura muttered, wrapping her arms around herself tighter, before she forced her voice to be stronger, "Why do all of this?"
"Because I will do anything it takes to keep my family safe," Madara answered passionately, his desperation to protect his family at any cost leeching into his tone, "If I stop, more of the people I love will die. To keep that from happening, I will shoulder any burden that is asked of me."
"Do you want to do this?" Do you enjoy killing people, torturing people, abducting people, hurting people?
"I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy some aspects of the club. Others, I…" Madara shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What I think or feel doesn't matter when the lives of those I care about are on the line."
Sakura's stomach rolled, her heart skipping a beat in her chest at his admission. Even though she had more questions, she felt as if they were all unimportant in the face of the answers he had already given. She had asked the questions that were the most important to her and the answers left her feeling sick to her stomach.
"I… I need a while to think about all of this," Sakura whimpered, turning away from the Uchiha and instead staring at the bedspread.
"I understand," he answered quietly, his head dropping as he stared at the floor.
When he looked back up, Sakura glancing over at him before quickly looking away, a poorly hidden distress was obvious in his expression.
"Sakura, I…" he began, his tone strained, before he stopped himself.
She was certain he was going to tell her he loved her. Her heart clenched in her chest, taking her breath away, as she held herself tighter.
"I'll leave you alone. And… thank you for saving my brother's life," Madara stated instead, the emotion in his voice from before sealed away.
Sakura barely nodded in response, her eyes glued onto a mended hole in the comforter covering Izuna. She knew that if she tried to talk at that moment that she would begin to cry.
The eldest Uchiha stood silently, leaving the room without another word. He quietly closed the door behind him, a soft click echoing in the suddenly suffocating room.
She sniffled, folding in on herself as a single tear she couldn't hold back slipped down her cheek.
"Gods, what have I gotten myself into…" she whimpered as she felt more hot tears begin to gather behind her eyes, her throat tightening as she felt a sob build in her chest.
"A war, obviously," Izuna interjected from his bed, Sakura jolting upright in shock as her watery eyes shot to the Uchiha squinting up at her.
"Izuna! What-what are you doing awake?" Sakura stuttered, quickly wiping the tears from her face with the backs of her hands, "I gave you five milligrams of morphine, you should be out cold..."
"Ah, that explains it then," Izuna huffed, blinking slowly as he forced his eyes to focus, "It's not my first time with pain killers like those, believe it or not."
"I can tell… How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? What would you put it at from a scale of zero to ten?" Sakura immediately began to question, reaching over to grab the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope from Izuna's bedside table.
"I'm fine, you can drop the doctor nurse act," Izuna grunted as he adjusted in bed, waving his hand at her in dismissal, "The more important question is what you're thinking right now."
"I'm sorry?" she returned, pausing in her movement.
The Uchiha quirked a brow at her, bleary eyed. "You just heard the full story, no holds barred, of our club. Everything we have done and do. Everything my brother does and did."
"You..." Sakura muttered before she cleared her throat, "Heard all that?"
"I've been awake since the morphine kicked in. You know, he could be ousted from the club for everything he just told you. Shunned by our family," he informed.
Sakura's eyes widened in shock. "He could?"
"Do you think we go around telling all of our lovers about the dark secrets of the club? The killings and the gun running?" Izuna shook his head. "According to club law, we can tell our spouses if we want but you're not his wife."
The Uchiha leveled her with a pointed look, the seriousness of his expression showing even through the haze of narcotics. "He basically committed treason to satisfy your curiosity."
"Why would he have told me everything if it was so bad?" she questioned, not understanding why Madara would take such an incredible risk on her. His family was the most important thing in the world to him, why would he risk that to answer her questions?
"Because he's in love with you. He cares about you more than I've ever seen him care about anyone," Izuna answered as if it was the most simple thing on the face of the planet.
"That doesn't change what you all do - what he does - behind closed doors. He-He's killed so many people!" Sakura retorted, abandoning her tools to instead wrap her arms around herself once again.
"So have I. So have Itachi, Izumi, and Shisui. Even Kagami has killed before. Your new best friend Obito is our resident hitman, he's killed and tortured hundreds of people," the Uchiha informed bluntly, Sakura cringing, "Not just that, Sasuke has already killed two people now as well if I'm not mistaken."
Sakura sniffled once again, shakily raking her fingers through her bangs, uncaring of the stains on her hands. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she tried to absorb what Izuna had told her. Every last one of her friends was a killer? Every single one of them had murdered someone, Obito hundreds of people even, and she never knew? She couldn't tell?
"And it does, actually." Izuna tacked on, breaking the silence and her train of thought.
"Does what?" she asked quietly, not tearing her eyes away from the tile floor.
"His love for you does change what we do behind closed doors, as much as I despise it. He's always pushed for his hopeless peace but it's only gotten worse with you around..." he began gruffly, Sakura finally looking up at the dark haired man through her bangs, "He wasn't lying when he told you he tried to sign a treaty with those animals in the Senju MC. I've told him he shouldn't trust those dogs a million times but he tried to do this treaty anyways only for them to throw it back in his face. No surprise there but he still didn't learn his damn lesson."
"He keeps holding back, showing them mercy and trying to keep the war from escalating," Izuna scoffed before mercilessly adding, "I say we just kill them all and be done with it but he won't allow it."
Sakura stared at the injured Uchiha, her mouth popped open in shock at his brutal honesty.
"What? You asked for this, doc. You wanted the truth and now you've got it," he informed without remorse, "So... What are you going to do?"
"I…" she started before slumping back in her chair, distraught, "I don't know..."
"Stick around."
"What?"
"I've never seen my brother happier than when he's with you. And I know you love him, that you see him for who he is, because you haven't ran out that door yet," Izuna explained simply, his love for his brother coming through in his tone.
"What if I'm scared of retaliation?" Sakura argued, her hands fisting in her stained shirt nervously at the thought of Madara coming to hurt her for betraying them.
"Hah, that's funny. You have him wrapped around your little finger. He couldn't hurt you if he tried and he'd never let anyone touch you. You could walk out that front door right now. We owe you a debt after you saved my life. None of us would ever bother you again," Izuna paused before huffing out a laugh and adding on, "Well, Madara would probably bother you with drunken phone calls every once in a while if you broke his heart, I'm sure, but…"
Sakura's heart throbbed in her chest, the heat behind her eyes returning once again and threatening her with tears.
Why did he have to phrase it like that...
Izuna trailed off for a few long moment, his eyes glossy from the morphine, before he shook his head and looked back to her, "So why don't you walk out that door?"
"I'm still thinking about it," she growled back, leveling him with a glare that didn't hold any real venom.
"Listen, I know this is a lot to take in. You're a nurse and a doctor, your job is to save lives and we are about as far from that as you can get. But out of all of us, you've found the one who wants peace. There's no shame in loving that," he explained, surprising Sakura with the thoughtfulness of his words.
"You're really high right now, aren't you?" she finally asked.
"Oh, incredibly," Izuna chuckled, even Sakura cracking a smile as she dropped her head.
"Speaking of, before I fall back asleep and in case you do decide to leave and I never see you again… Thank you for saving my life. I owe you pretty substantial favor. And this a personal debt, not one tied to my brother or the club. If you ever need anything, you let me know," the Uchiha thanked seriously.
"Just try not to get shot again," Sakura returned, shaking her head.
Izuna snorted out a laugh in response before cringing and reaching down to cradle his side. "I'll try."
Much to Sakura's relief, Izuna soon fell back asleep after their brief conversation. She attributed his candor to the fact he was blitzed out of his mind on one of the most powerful narcotics known to man. Even though his brutal honesty had grated on her already frayed nerves at points, she had been grateful for his frankness. It gave her more information to work on, more things to consider.
Shortly before Izuna had fallen back asleep, the doctor had finally scrubbed the blood off of her hands in his bathroom and gathered some hand towels to clean off his incision. After checking on the tender wound, she had been satisfied, even though Izuna had been less than pleased at being poked at.
As she stayed the night to keep an eye on Izuna and to periodically keep him dosed with morphine to keep the pain away as he rested, she asked herself one incredibly important question:
Was she going to stay with Madara after this?
Sakura's heart painfully clenched in her chest just at the thought. She found it harder to even draw breath into her lungs at the thought of breaking it off with the man she was so madly in love with.
Her emotions were so conflicted, warring with themselves in her heart and mind, after the events of that day. After everything that she had done, everything she had heard. Her mind played her memories on repeat, rehashing the same situations and the same conversations in her head over and over.
What she had learned that day clashed so intensely with all of her warm memories with the man she loved. The man that she had finally learned the truth of.
A robber, an abductor, a torturer, an arsonist, a hitman... He was all these things and more and Sakura struggled to integrate these facts in with the loving, passionate man she had tied herself to.
Sakura's inner war continued throughout the night as she periodically checked Izuna's pulse and blood pressure. Once the first bag of saline ran dry, she replace it with the fresh bag in wait.
The doctor was surprised when Kagami interrupted her inner debate to deliver her a simple dinner from the nearby diner. She thanked him for his incredible thoughtfulness, touched by his concern for her.
She couldn't find it in her to tell him that she couldn't even bare the thought of food with the knot of dread in her chest stealing away everything within her besides her anxiety.
Sakura set aside the styrofoam box, hoping that Izuna might be interested in the food once he woke up. She sat in the chair next to her patient's bedside as she continued to fight with herself, pulling her knees to her chest as she thought.
Her gaze fell upon Izuna sleeping peacefully and she wondered if he was lying about Kagami having killed someone before. The curly haired Uchiha was so kind and open-hearted. He always had a smile on his face. A killer didn't look like that... did they?
Why would Izuna lie about something like that?
Her eyes drifted up to Izuna's bloody cut still hanging from his bed post. The crimson splattered Uchiha MC crest stared back at her. She quickly looked away, hugging her legs to her chest as she hid her face in her knees.
She felt so alone. Like she was without an anchor. She didn't know who she could turn to for advice. She had no one she could talk to about this incredibly important decision. She couldn't talk to Sasuke, she couldn't talk to Naruto, she couldn't talk to her friends, she certainly couldn't talk to her parents...
She loved Madara with everything she was but she wasn't sure if she could be with him with this life he lived...
Sakura was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of a gentle knock at the door. She whipped around and watched as Itachi quietly made his way inside, a stack of clothes in one hand with a plain paper bag sitting on top and her purse held in the other.
He paused at the door as his eyes fell upon her, curled up in the chair next to Izuna's bed, before he closed the door behind him.
"I've brought you those antibiotics you asked for. We were able to get the ones you requested," he started as he walked to stand next to her, handing her the pile of clothing, the paper bag, and her purse, "Here's your bag. And the clothes are from Izumi. She thought you would like something clean to change into."
"Er, thank you. That is very much appreciated," Sakura replied as she took the supplies, setting down the clothes and her purse and unfurling the paper bag on top.
She was satisfied with the medications inside, simultaneously glad that they had found the antibiotics she needed and concerned as to how they had gotten ahold of them.
Well, if they could get ahold of guns to sell to other clubs then-
Sakura forced herself to abandon the line of thought as she set the paper bag and stack of clothes on Izuna's bedside table.
She felt the weight of Itachi's gaze upon her and, when she looked back to him, she wasn't surprised to see he was watching her.
"I suspect by your expression that my uncle told you everything," he guessed.
"Is it that obvious?" she muttered, curling back in on herself as her gaze fell upon her patient once again.
The corner of Itachi's lip quirked up but there was little amusement there. "Perhaps. More than anything, I know of you as being a woman who does not tolerate half truths or keeping secrets."
Sakura huffed out a raw laugh as she dropped her chin against her knees. Itachi leaned against Izuna's desk, his arms loose at his sides as he watched her with understanding eyes.
When she didn't speak, he broached, "I understand this must be incredibly difficult for you. I imagine that you may have some questions that you couldn't ask Madara or Izuna. I'm willing to answer any questions you may have, if it helps."
She paused as she considered his words and then what she would ask. When she turned to face him, her expression was torn.
"Is it true?" she started, her tone desperate, "That the club runs guns and kills people and abducts people and tortures people and… Do you all really do these horrible things?"
"Yes. That and more," Itachi admitted easily, Sakura's heart dropping into her stomach as her gaze returned to Izuna's sleeping form. "Although, if it's any consolation, we will not accept jobs involving children or pregnant women, we do not sell drugs of any kind although we do have a liquor operation, we do not have any prostitution rings, and we do not condone sexual assault in any form. Any of us who are discovered to have taken advantage of a man, woman, or child in such a way is taken care of."
"And by taken care of, I'm guessing killed?" Sakura presumed.
"Yes, that is accurate."
"Can't say I'm upset about that part…" she muttered into her knees.
"No one ever is," Itachi commented honestly.
Sakura felt relaxed in the presence of Sasuke's older brother, as she often did. He brought with him a sense of calm and an easy understanding that enveloped any room he occupied. She felt, in that moment, like he could be the person she needed to talk to. The person she needed to help her decide how to move forward.
"Do you think that it will ever stop? That peace will ever happen between your clubs? That Madara can bring it?" she asked softly, not facing Itachi.
"I would have never allowed Sasuke to join the ranks if I didn't believe in our uncle," Itachi answered immediately, his serious tone drawing Sakura's gaze to him, "It may not happen today, tomorrow, a week, even a month from now… It may be years, honestly. But Madara is a man who wants peace, the only president in our history who has ever tried to make a treaty with the Senju MC. I believe that, one day, he will accomplish his goal."
Sakura was surprised by Itachi's vehemence and could feel the truth in his words. Itachi loved Sasuke more than anyone on his planet and she knew that he would never allow his little brother to enter an endless war where the only ending was death.
She gazed at him for a long moment, her internal struggle reflecting in her expression as she whispered, "...What should I do? I... I don't know what to do…"
"I can't give you the answer to that. But what if I ask you this… Do you love him?" Itachi challenged in a gentle tone.
"Of course I do, more than I've ever loved anyone," Sakura answered immediately. That she knew without any doubt in her mind. She loved Madara.
"Does he make you happy?" he questioned.
"Yes, he does…" she replied softly, knowing that this was undoubtedly true as well.
"You know that he cannot change his past, only his future. If the war were to end tomorrow, would you still be with him? Despite everything he has done?" Itachi continued pointedly.
"I…" she whispered, conflicted, as her eyes parted from Itachi's to drop to the floor, "I don't know…"
"Then perhaps that is something to consider," the Uchiha finished.
Sakura's lips pressed into a flat line as she thought, her mind once again racing as she was given yet more information to consider.
"I need to leave for now but, if you need someone to talk to about this, you have my phone number. I will keep anything you say confidential," Itachi offered as he pushed off of Izuna's desk to stand.
"Thank you, Itachi," she replied, looking back up to the Uchiha as he prepared to leave.
"Of course. And thank you for looking after my family. Not just Izuna and Madara. Sasuke as well," he sincerely thanked as he turned to leave, leaving Sakura with her thoughts once again.
She felt less out of control after her brief talk with Itachi. She felt as if she could finally think straight, to consider everything she learned, everything she had been told, as subjectively as possible.
Madara lived a violent life in an outlaw club. He was a man who had committed numerous brutal crimes. He was a man whose hands were stained with blood, who had made his own body into a gravestone. He was a man who was a solider in this seemingly hopeless war, who would go to any grisly lengths to protect those he cared about.
Despite this, he was not a monster. He had tried to make peace happen in a very meaningful way. He did everything to protect his family, to keep those he loved safe. He treated her wonderfully, with respect, love, and admiration.
He loved her and she loved him...
What if the war ended tomorrow? What if the killings stopped? Would she stick around? She knew what the club was now. They ran guns, they carried out hits, they were real life mercenaries… Could she live with that? Could she love that?
Sasuke was part of the club. He had already killed people and she would always love him no matter what. He had wanted to be a part of the club since he was old enough to understand what it was and Sakura had accepted his choice when they were young. Could she respect that same choice in a man she was in a romantic relationship with?
Her eyes fell on Izuna, taking in the IV hooked up to his arm, the bag of saline half finished, the blood staining the blankets, and the empty vial of morphine in the trash.
Itachi said thank you for protecting his family. She had always protected Sasuke and Naruto and she had saved Izuna's life…
Could she abandon them all? She knew they would be in danger again. They all lived lives of peril. Could she turn her back to them all, knowing that someone could die without her there to help?
What if it was Itachi next time? Or Shisui or Izumi? The three would be broken beyond repair if they lost any of their group. Gods, what if it was Sasuke? What if she lost her brother because she turned her back on them? What if Madara died because she chose to leave?
Could she live with herself knowing that, if she had stayed with the man she loved, if she had given herself to the people she loved, someone she loved could have been saved?
Izuna would be dead if it wasn't for her. Madara's only remaining blood brother, the man he cared about most on this earth, would have lost his life tonight if she hadn't been there. If Madara had lost Izuna, would he still be seeking out peace? Or would he give up on his dream and give into vengeance?
Sakura dropped her head against her knees, hiding her face in between her knees as her thoughts raced.
Could she play a part in helping end this war by helping the people she loved? The men and women she had grown up with, who she called brother, friends, her lover?
If she took care of the Uchiha who were injured in battle or otherwise, she could help tip the scales. She could help Madara work for peace by keeping the family together. By preventing the need for more vengeance, she could help the man he loved accomplish his dream and her hope.
Was that a risk, a sacrifice she was willing to make? Could she risk her career, everything she had worked for, on love? Could she even still love him after everything he had done? What he was? Could she live with this?
Or was she just tricking herself into believing whatever she needed just so she could follow her heart and stay with the man she loved, despite his darkness?
Thoughts spiraling in her mind, Sakura finally stood from the chair at Izuna's bedside to go change into the fresh clothes Izumi had loaned her.
A/N: And here we are, finally. The truth behind everything the club does, laid out for Sakura to hear. She's going to have a very important choice to make here now that she's been faced with the reality of who Madara is...
I had a lot of fun writing the history of the clubs, figuring out how I would include Indra and Asura. At first, I thought I might include them as being grandparents that were still alive but I figured this was much more appropriate. And I have too much love for the mastermind Kaguya to not include her in the story.
Don't forget to leave a review! They encourage me to keep writing when I'm also staring down the throat of this nursing school beast.