Chapter 29 – It's A World Where Hope's Enslaved

"Give him back to me," she snarled warningly, advancing on the medics attempting to block her.

"Haruno-"

At the biggest of the four medics straightening his stance, trying to intimidate her with his stature, green eyes narrowed dangerously, fists clenching, just barely keeping from shaking. Not out of fear, but rage.

"We cannot allow you to heal him-"

Who the hell were they to tell her who she could and could not heal? Especially when it concerned someone who was so dear to her? "Uchiha Shisui is mine – he's my patient."

Behind them, she could see that he was in the same position he'd been in when she first awoke, the seal that was placed over his eyes acting more as a restraint than serving any true purpose in healing him. It had that rage she could just about contain wavering dangerously, threatening to explode to new heights.

"You-"

"Move," she growled.

"No."

Oh, she was going to lose it. She–

"What is the purpose of that seal?"

Her eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder, heart stuttering at the sight of the two Uchiha brothers flanking the Kazekage, Itachi's calmly spoken question managing to quiet her anger somewhat. How he could remain so at peace even at the most dangerous of times, she would never know, but it was a composure she envied greatly. She wished she had half the professionalism and self-control he possessed.

At the sight of the two Uchiha, Sakura noticed the youngest looking of the four medics blanch, his brown eyes glancing nervously to his comrades. They seemed equally uneasy but did all they could to keep it from showing, their harsh training as Suna-nin coming to their aid, helping them stay in control of the situation.

"There are many rumours regarding this man's eyes," one of them informed their group. "This is a precaution-"

As much as she wanted to, Sakura knew it was not the time nor place to demand answers from the Kazekage, though she did send a dark glower over her shoulder at him to let Gaara know she was pissed. He seemed unaffected – not that she'd really expected any less of him. He didn't even seem concerned with the fact Sasuke was growing more irate by the second. Then again, he wouldn't. He was capable of restraining them without lifting a finger.

"Take it off," she ordered. "You have no idea what the hell you're messing around with."

"We won't take orders from-"

"There are only three sets of untainted sharingan left," came Sasuke's dark mutter and he left his position at Gaara's side, causing the smallest medic to flinch when he came to stand directly in front of them. As he passed her, Sakura noticed his sharingan activate, meaning he was no doubt using his rumoured madness and ruthlessness to his advantage. "Don't think I won't go all out to reserve what is left of my clan's secrets."

Before he could piss the Kazekage off, Sakura came to stand by his side, her clenched fists relaxing, one hand coming to rest on her hip. "I'll say it one last time, before I beat my teammate to pummelling you all to bloody pulps," she muttered. "Give Uchiha Shisui back to me."

Disparagingly, they looked over hers and Sasuke's shoulders to their esteemed Kazekage, their gazes averting at whatever emotion they found there. Something warned Sakura that it wasn't Gaara who had them reacting in such a way, however and that was proven correct as she quickly glanced behind herself, just in time to see Itachi's mangekyō deactivating.

"Go, Sakura."

She smirked.

"Hi," she greeted weakly upon reaching Shisui's motionless body, hand coming to his shoulder. "Looks like we have really bad luck, doesn't it?"

Gods, he was a mess. There were more injuries than she could count, though the medics of Suna had healed him partially of his most fatal wounds – only partially out of precaution, she knew, as it was one of their own procedures back in Konoha. Unless the foreign shinobi was a trusted ally, then they wouldn't be one hundred percent healed. They were only healed to the point where they wouldn't die. It was for the safety of the village, but while she understood that, it didn't stop her irritation growing as she assessed his injuries, discovering how much pain he would no doubt be in. They didn't even have anything to prevent pressure sores.

"You could have numbed the pain," she muttered to the medics, annoyance doubling when they grumbled back at her. "What was that?"

It was one of the others that didn't stand out that spoke up, telling her, "Suna doesn't raise weaklings."

"Are you suggesting Konoha does?"

"Enough," Gaara warned and stepped into the room. "You have your comrade back. Get on with healing him."

She snorted at that, gaze returning to Shisui, saddening at the broken sight of him. It mirrored the man in her memories too damn well and it agonised her. No matter what, he couldn't fall back into his depression. She had to restore his sight.

"There's only so much I can do without the use of my chakra," she informed him. "They kept sucking me dry."

"I told them to stop," Sasuke surprisingly muttered when she glared in their direction.

Yes, he had. Out of them all, it seemed Sasuke had been the one who had the most faith in her. The others all questioned her – rightly so, but it still hurt, nonetheless. Sasuke had been the only one who was willing to let her push herself to her limits. He was the only one willing to take the risk of allowing her access to her chakra, knowing that it could potentially lessen the time it would take to bring her back to herself.

Most importantly, he was the only one completely willing to accept the new version of her after coming to terms with it.

"How much chakra do you require?"

Startled, she looked back to Gaara, already understanding where his thoughts were and it seemed his medics also understood, for they looked to him with palpable disbelief and disliking, demanding to know just what hell he was thinking.

"Do not question me," he forewarned them.

"The council-"

"If you are going to continue your insubordination, I suggest you leave," Gaara muttered, already approaching her. "My patience is much shorter than usual today."

Like it was trying to prove a point, the gourd he'd left by the door came to life, the sound of his sand swirling within its confinements, desperate to break free and crush them all mercilessly, filled the uncomfortable sudden silence following his warning.

It was comical witnessing Suna-nin expressing their fear, her eyes drawn to the way they tried to cling to their pride for all of three seconds before scurrying, Gaara's glare (one that bordered on the line of the one from her memories of the chūnin exams) breaking them.

She was already watching his expression curiously when Gaara looked back to her, his glare disappearing like it'd never been there in the first place. How was he able to do that? Acting like there was still a beast within him, scratching at the surface, waiting and biding its time, waiting for the moment to burst free, taking down whoever – or worse, set upon.

"You're a good actor," she pointed out.

"Many in the village continue to fear me," came his bland reply, like it didn't bother him. She wondered if that was actually the case as she recalled Naruto's ramblings of how he and Gaara were similar in the respect of wanting people to love them, of wanting to be accepted and respected. Did it hurt him knowing they were scared of him? "It works to my advantage."

Oh, she was staring. Nodding, Sakura looked back to Shisui, realising she had managed to squeeze more information from him than he'd originally been expecting to share. It made her wonder how uncomfortable her appearance had become – or whether it was her eyes that made others uncomfortable.

Making a mental note to check it out in the mirror for herself afterwards, she reached out, carefully removing the seal from over Shisui's eyes, using a small amount of chakra to do so.

"Stand at his head," she ordered, biting back her amusement when he followed her order wordlessly. Never would she have imagined she'd be ordering the Kazekage around. "Put your hands at his temple. If it's more comfortable, you can rest your hands there – I do, since it takes a while healing someone's eyes."

Glancing over her shoulder, Sakura said, "Itachi, I need you by my side. My memory is shaky at best, so I need your knowledge."

Sasuke was rightly uncomfortable hearing her words. "Then you shouldn't mess with the strongest sharingan in the room-"

It was from wanting to preserve what was left of his clan, so Sakura didn't allow herself to grow agitated at his doubt. It wasn't that he didn't believe in her, even though he would pass it off as such. He was worried about losing more of his clan, even if it was just the sharingan.

Then again, to the Uchiha, the sharingan was never just a sharingan.

"It's okay, Sasuke-kun," she assured him, stunning them all as she climbed onto the bed with Shisui, invading his personal space by straddling his waist. There was nothing in the movement that provoked any kind of emotion or reaction from her – it was purely due to the fact that she was still weakened. Standing for so long, expending what little she had left of her chakra while controlling someone else's was going to exhaust her further. "I won't do anything that will hurt Shisui."

The weight behind her words had him growing silent – or was it her position?

It didn't matter as Itachi came to her side, momentarily sparing the Kazekage a glance, no doubt wondering if he could really divulge in their research of the sharingan with him in the room.

"Gaara's a good guy," she murmured, looking up, meeting icy blue eyes. He didn't show his surprise at her words, but she knew it would be there. "Naruto would never talk so highly of him or trust him as much as he does if he wasn't."

There was a small, peaceful smile in his eyes as they lowered to Shisui's shut ones, hands coming to his temple.

"Sasuke-kun," she spoke up, waiting until his grunt of affirmation before ordering, "I need you to stand watch. The shinobi of Suna can't see their Kazekage betraying Konoha like this – we don't know who could be working for Danzo."

There was no verbal reply, simply him shutting the door and coming to stand behind it, refusing to let it open. It wasn't until that moment that she truly took notice of his imposing build, shoulders much wider than she recalled them being, a faint aching in her mind warning her not to push for answers. Or was it Inner-Sakura? Was she warning her not to push for more memories?

Eyebrows knitting together at the sight of Sasuke's physique, her fingers came to rest on Shisui's chest, followed by her hands flattening entirely. Why did he look so different? It hadn't been all that long since their last altercation, had it?

"Stop it," Inner-Sakura ordered.

Realising she was now gripping Shisui's shirt, Sakura forced herself to relax, surprised to find she'd been beginning to scowl, too.

"Sorry," she mumbled – to who, they didn't ask. She was glad they didn't. Even she didn't know the answer to that question.

Looking back to Shisui, she watched Gaara's hands settling around his temples and she soon reached out, adjusting the position slightly, having them resting closer to his eyes. It was surprising how cold Gaara's skin was, considering where he lived, and her mind raced with endless excuses or a potential diagnosis as to why that could be.

But now wasn't the time, she scolded herself, resting more of her weight carefully on Shisui, nodding once to Gaara to let him know she was ready, hands only half covering his.

There was a shocking spark as her chakra connected with his, intermingling, adjusting to using it like it was her own. It stunned her how vast his reserves were, as she'd been so certain they'd be significantly smaller after losing the Ichibi – but that didn't appear to be the case. Curious, she thought to herself, storing away the information for possible later use.

"I'm going to use my chakra to examine your eyes, Shisui," she murmured to Shisui, just as she had many times during their time together. "It'll feel a little different than usual, so don't be scared, okay?"

Sakura shut her eyes and leaned more fully on her knees, hunching over him, hands almost cradling Gaara's as she pressed them against Shisui's skin.

"Three, two, one…"

It wasn't her first time using someone else's chakra to heal another and Sakura knew it wouldn't be her last, but that didn't mean it was a wholly comfortable feeling. The best way she could describe it was that it felt similar to wearing another's clothes. Sure, they felt okay, but it wasn't the fit that the perfectionist within her craved.

"Idiot," she muttered suddenly, irritation causing her eyebrows to knit together.

"He's burned his eyes," Gaara stated, sounding somewhat surprised to be able to notice.

It was pretty impressive that he could do such a thing, she supposed. "It's nothing compared to how badly they were damaged previously," she informed him. "But the damage is extensive. What the hell happened?"

She hadn't meant it as a serious question. The stories of the battle against Danzo could have waited until after, as she knew it was a distraction she didn't need. However, Sasuke answered anyway, saying, "After you stabbed yourself, Shisui lost control and allowed his emotions to take over."

"Sorry about using your katana," she muttered without really meaning it. How would he feel about his favoured weapon if she'd used it to commit suicide and succeeded?

He grunted.

Silence surrounded them as her chakra trickled through Shisui's pathways, carefully eradicating any and all build up of chakra, soothing the burns that threatened to destroy said pathways altogether. Gods, it'd taken her forever to rebuild them, to strengthen the intricate little tubes. How the hell could he do something so reckless? After all the work they'd done?

How the hell had she done it again?

"Shit," she suddenly cursed, extracting Gaara's chakra.

"What is it?" asked Itachi.

She looked to her faintly trembling hands, glaring at them with annoyance. "My mind blanked," Sakura admitted reluctantly. "It's like I…" She shook her head, frown deepening. "I know the process. It kind of feels like second nature, but…"

"You're questioning yourself," he finished for her and stepped forward, closer to her. "Would you like a few moments to practice?"

Green eyes shot to his, widening. "I can't practice on your eyes, Itachi. They're-"

"I trust you."

And she could see in his features that he meant those three words with every fibre of his being. But she refused to take such a humongous risk. They couldn't have two sets of sharingan out of commission, not when Danzo had so many at his disposable. They needed the mangekyō to go against him. To try and gain the upper hand.

"It's not the eyes," she informed him and sat back on her haunches, gaze returning to her hands. "It's the whole healing process. I keep blanking on how to start mending the damage. We've managed to breakaway the chakra that's built up in the chakra pathways, but actually healing the damage he's caused, I can't… It won't connect."

It didn't have to be eyes, she thought to herself.

Her right hand reached for the left, the resounding crack stunning the men around her as she snapped one of her fingers.

"Sakura-" Itachi began.

She ignored him, saying offhandedly, "Shisui needs me to heal him. I need to remember how it feels to actually heal something. Besides," she paused, taking Gaara's hand and holding it over hers, channelling his chakra once more. "I don't feel it."

"At all?" questioned Gaara.

"No," she murmured, scowling in concentration as she felt the chakra going to work, seeking the snapped bone.

Realising she had to act on the outside, she carefully moved her hand over Gaara's, their skin continuing to remain connected even though it wasn't strictly necessary, until they were cradling her hand within theirs. Then, she positioned her finger, forcing it to straighten, willing and controlling Gaara's chakra to act like stitches, in a way, bringing the broken bone together, searching for shards. Only when she discovered that it'd been a clean break did Sakura get to mending the bone, breathing deeply as she tried to recall how–

There.

She continued to picture the bone how she wanted it to look, grateful that her chakra responded to her wants, using Gaara's to mend the bone. Should she be asked how she carried out the task, Sakura knew she wouldn't be able to answer. She supposed that made her a kinesthetic learner.

Sighing, she met Gaara's gaze, explaining to him, "After being Danzo's captive for so long, going through all that, this-" She held up her hand, wriggling her fingers. "-feels like nothing."

"You went through a lot," Itachi stated.

"I'm not the only one who's gone through some kind of trauma," she argued, briefly looking up to him, then to Sasuke. "We've all gone through something to get to this point."

They had both lost so much – their clan, their parents. Hell, in a way, she supposed they'd lost her, too. The village, their home, was also gone and there was no telling what state it would be in when they returned. Would their district remain relatively untouched? Would their homes and meeting places have been ransacked? Would their sacred scrolls, heirlooms, vaults remain undisturbed? Sakura highly doubted it.

Gaara was also a man who'd gone through trauma – his entire existence was traumatic, to an extent. Ripped away from his mother to become a jinchūriki, growing accustomed to the village – the whole goddamn world – fearing him for reasons he couldn't even begin to comprehend as a child, having his father send assassins after him, murdering his uncle after being targeted by him… Gods, the list was endless for Gaara, wasn't it? It was one traumatic event after another, making him a product of his environment.

"Poor guy," Inner-Sakura said to her, head tilting to the side. "I bet the Ichibi lunged every time he experienced anything negative."

Probably. It was what the Kyuubi did. The seal was always weakest whenever Naruto experienced some kind of emotional distress, allowing the Kyuubi to take over, wreaking havoc. Although, that would never be an excuse for the horrors Gaara bestowed upon the world, as he'd soon become a willing participant.

"Sakura."

She blinked, apologising inattentively as she discovered she'd been staring at Gaara again. While he appeared uncaring, she could understand that it would've been unpleasant.

"Would you like to take a break?" asked Itachi.

"No."

Shifting her position, she moved Gaara's hands back into position, her own coming to cover his.

"This – Shisui – is too important to wait."

She could sense her words had an impact on both Uchiha men, but she paid them no mind, focusing on her task at hand as she once more began channelling Gaara's chakra. It seeped into Shisui's chakra pathways, seeking out the areas that were significantly damaged, although once she reached said areas, she had to pause, attempting to recall how it'd felt to strengthen them.

Honestly, there was no need for Itachi's presence in that moment. Sure, there was the possibility of needing his knowledge at some point, but it seemed like there would be no major changes to Shisui's eyes. He'd simply (for lack of better word) fried the pathways that controlled and limited his chakra for his own safety. Like an idiot, he'd ignored the warning signs, had bulldozed the chakra through them so carelessly, either not noticing or paying attention to his own limits before damn near causing the whole system to implode.

"Basically," she spoke aloud when Gaara questioned what would cause such damage, "there's a limit on his chakra pathways – not just for his, but for all dōjutsu users – and he's refused to listen to his body's limits. Think of his chakra as a tsunami, kind of. It's barrelled its way through the pathways, trying to do too much all at once rather than building up to the big stuff."

She probably wasn't explaining it in the best way, but Gaara seemed to understand, nodding once for her to continue when she looked to him.

"With nowhere else for so much chakra to go, it's stretched the pathways drastically, burning the weaker areas." Meeting Itachi and Sasuke's stares, she added, "That's what causes your headaches and eye strains – the pathways becoming engorged and rubbing together, the friction burning away at them."

That was the better explanation, Sakura realised at their surprise.

"Would it be possible for an enemy to use that to their advantage?"

Suspiciously, Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but she cut him off, murmuring, "You think we could force that on Danzo?"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't see why it wouldn't be possible. If Naruto's stories aren't as exaggerated as they usually are, then Danzo wouldn't have been using the sharingan for long."

"Not the mangekyō, at least," said Itachi thoughtfully. "There were many Uchiha who had gone missing over the years, though our clan elders always assumed it was simply due to our profession."

"It happens," agreed Gaara. "More often than a Kage would care to admit."

"Going off the belief that Danzo's been using the sharingan for a while," Sasuke continued and approached them, coming to stand beside Shisui's head, staring down at his now-relaxed features. "He'll have an idea how to manage his chakra usage, just as Kakashi has. But the mangekyō is a different story."

Itachi nodded once in agreement. "There is an adjustment period that we must all go through."

"If we back him into a corner with our sharingan, he'll have no choice but to respond," Sasuke spoke with slightly more urgency to his tone. "Father was powerful, but so are we."

"There's still the fact that we're unsure what abilities Father's mangekyō possesses, Sasuke."

"We got a feel of it, especially Shisui."

"Sakura has the best idea of us all."

They each looked to her at Itachi's words and she frowned, keeping her gaze trained on Shisui's, pretending like it hadn't been growing easier as more time passed, her body falling into its second nature effortlessly.

"Don't bother looking to me for some kind of intelligent insight," she muttered when they continued to watch her. Glancing up at the redhead before her, she mirrored his sudden smirk at her words, "I'm insane."

"Don't use it as an excuse," grumbled Sasuke irritably.

She tilted her head to the side, assessing him. "Don't you?"

He snorted at that. "Hardly. I'm not a coward."

Her eyebrow raised daringly before she dismissed him altogether, feeling the beginnings of Shisui's consciousness creeping in. Using Gaara's chakra, she soothed him into a deeper sleep without a second thought about it, deciding it would be best to leave their reunion until later.

"How is it going?" Itachi asked her, thankfully changing the subject.

"We've soothed the burns and eradicated all build up of chakra, so the next time Shisui uses his sharingan – because it seems so inevitable, since he can't accept a single freaking instruction-"

"Sakura."

Abruptly ending her tirade, she sighed, muttering, "He can use his sharingan to an extent. As long as he listens to his limits and doesn't push it too far, he should be okay. I'm still trying to figure out how to strengthen the pathways. Everything I'm doing so far feels temporary, like they'll weaken again over time. It feels… unavoidable, in a way, that he'll go blind."

The words didn't seem to surprise either Uchiha and she quickly glanced their way, frowning, provoking Itachi to answering her silent questioning, saying, "It is destined, so to speak, that any Uchiha whose sharingan advances to the mangekyō eventually becomes blind."

"Isn't there anything I can do?" she asked.

He smiled at that. A small, barely there smile that made something inside her relax, her shoulders suddenly feeling lighter like he was helping her, shouldering her burden. "You have spent many years researching my clan, Sakura. Together, we have tried to find ways to prevent my going blind, or, at the very least, putting it off."

He was going blind? Her heart lurched and she carefully pulled one hand away from Shisui's face, leaving Gaara's behind, holding it in mid-air and waiting until Itachi lowered himself, allowing her to cup his cheek. His lips twitched with amusement, but she ignored him, chakra seeping into his pathways and she was disheartened to find that yes, Itachi was gradually losing his sight.

In her current state, there was nothing she could do for him.

There was nothing she could do for any of them.

Frustration clawed at her insides and she looked between the three men, unable to calm herself.

Gaara must have sensed the rampant emotions, because he managed to seize control, extracting the chakra from Shisui's eyes.

She forced herself to do the same with Itachi's.

Just as her hand was about to fall away from Itachi's face, he caught it, holding onto it and keeping it on his cheek, his hand dwarfing hers and attracting her full attention until he began speaking, telling her, "Do not question yourself, Sakura. It will come back."

Was she wrong earlier? Had it been Itachi who always believed in her? Was Sasuke the one who held her back?

He wasn't talking about their sight, she realised after a couple of moments. "We don't have time to sit around and wait for that to happen."

"You always picked up on Kakashi's teachings better when experiencing them hands-on," stated Sasuke with a shrug. "What's so different now?"

Maybe it was Sasuke who always believed in her and allowed her to push herself?

Did it really matter?

"What's different is that so many lives depend on me getting this stuff right," she argued, annoyance palpable to them all. "If I screw up, people die."

Sitting back on her haunches once more, green eyes returned to gazing down at Shisui and the hand holding onto hers squeezed gently, Itachi's silent comfort making her chest constrict.

If she screwed up, they would die.

Her eyes met Sasuke's and she frowned faintly.

It felt like her heart was being pulled in so many directions, threatening to be torn to shreds and as though she was capable of preventing such a fate, she freed one of her hands, holding onto her chest, breathing deeply to try and calm herself.

They were all important to her, each possessing a piece of her heart. Her love was different for each of them, unable to be compared in the slightest.

What was she supposed to do?

A/N - For those who asked for the playlist I use while writing D.E (and all songs that inspire it), here it is! It's updated regularly!

playlist?list=PL9HGeX2wrBGskm7gILJzvrL5Y9LTT0hCE