Xxxxxxxx

Ziva unaware that people that were looking for her, was sitting on the fourth flight of stairs. She had kept running until she had at last felt numb and devoid of any emotions. As much as she sometimes hated feeling numb and empty, it was easier than dealing with the turbulent anger that had ripped through her when she had run through the bullpen.

Pull yourself together, this is all your fault anyway!

Ziva was about to start screaming again when Tony burst through the door.

"Ziva what the hell are you doing here?" Tony asked angrily "do you have any idea how many times we called your cell? Rule no #3 Ziva, never be unreachable!" Tony said. He was still angry at her, but as he talked his anger turned to worry. She just sat there and said nothing. Ziva never said nothing and was always the first to defend herself, she was never just silent. It just wasn't Ziva.

"Come on Ziva, you're coming with me" Tony said as he offered out his hand to help her get up

"And where exactly are we going?" she asked, the anger quickly rising in her chest again

"To Gibbs, who I might add send both McGeek and I to find you"

Oh Shit she thought, I'm done now

No I will show him, I will show him I am not scared of him. I Ziva David and I am not scared of anything.

Tony watched her expressions change rapidly. He watched as she stood up and motioned him to move a determined look on her face. He knew she was steeling herself for a fight. That damn stubborn woman.

But Tony thought, I don't think she has realised what she has gotten herself into this time.

Xxxxxxxx

Gibbs sat alone in the bullpen, his anger growing more and more by the minute. He couldn't understand why Ziva was doing this to herself.

An eating disorder, how could she be so stupid? He thought

But thought the other voice in his head it's an illness not a choice.

Ducky had explained that to him years ago when they had worked on a case that involved a female petty officer who had suffered with Bulimia. The killer had made it look like the Petty Officer had committed suicide because the Navy had found out about her Bulimia and she had been medically discharged. It was only after NCIS was brought in to investigate that it had been discovered that the killer, who was the officers ex-boyfriend had not only spread her secret, but he had been a big trigger in the early stages of her illness.

FLASHBACK

Gibbs looked at the dead petty officers body sadly. The girl was a mess, bruised knuckles, low electrolyte levels, an irregular heartbeat and her throat was badly damaged from what Ducky had described as:

"Years of forcing herself to throw up Jethro"

He couldn't understand why anyone, least of all a young girl who seemed to have everything going for her, would do this to themselves. As if reading his mind Ducky had tried his best to explain the illness.

"You see Jethro, Bulimia is an eating disorder and is a psychological condition. It is characterised by episodes of bingeing and purging, accompanied by feelings of guilt and self-loathing. The poor girl you see on this table did not choose to make herself feel this way, but used the bingeing and purging as a coping method. In the start Bulimics think they can control there bingeing and purging, but before long it becomes an addiction and they can't stop. As the disease progresses they lose more and more control. Some get better and some don't. I think if this poor girl wasn't murdered, by the state her bodies in, I think she would've been lucky to last another 6 months"

"Well why didn't she just stop Duck? Why if it was hurting her so much didn't she just stop?" He had asked

"Well my dear Jethro, as scared as she would have been living with her illness, she would have been more scared to live without it. Her Bulimia became her identity and without it she would feel lost. Also telling an eating disordered person to just "get over it, and get better" is like telling a person with cancer to just jump out of bed, and get rid of the cancer themselves. Sometimes these things just don't "go away" they can be improved with time, but some people just never fully heal"

END FLASHBACK

Gibbs stood up as he saw Tony and Ziva emerge from the door leading to the stairwell

Ah, so that's where she likes to hide he thought,

Well I will; be taking note of that for the future.

Gibbs looked at Ziva in the eye for a minute, trying to see what was going on in her mind.

Gripping her upper arm, so as to make sure she wouldn't try and run away again, he simply said:

"You're coming with me"

Whilst dragging her into the elevator, and into autopsy where a very expectant Doctor Mallard was waiting.

After seating her down on one of the autopsy tables, Gibbs left autopsy to give them some privacy.

Ducky remained silent as he observed Ziva's fidgeting. He could sense that she had some idea about the reason as to why she now sitting in autopsy alone with him, but waited to see if she wanted to say something first. Whilst she seemed content to look down and stare at her hands, he quietly walked over to the doors and locked them, as he did not have the energy to run after her, should she try to leave. He also wanted to see how she would react when she found that she was "locked in". He knew that if he was right about what was going on with her, then she would react angrily, but it also might get her to talk. She needed to know that she couldn't keep running away from her emotions and the people that cared about her, and that's exactly what he intended on showing her.

"So my dear, care to tell me how long you have had an eating disorder for" he asked casually carefully watching her body language.

At the words "eating disorder" her head snapped up and instinctively she tried to run. However she discovered the door was locked and that was the last straw for her, as she ran around autopsy punching and kicking anything she could get her hands on. She was tired of people probing into things that didn't concern her, and she didn't deal well with conflict.

As her angry lessened she sunk into a corner on the floor and began sobbing wishing for the ground to open up and swallow her up. In her rage of emotions she had totally forgotten that Dr Mallard was still in the room, and still quietly observing her.

None of that mattered now, all she knew was that in that moment. She wanted to die.