Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of its characters. This story is entirely fictional and is based on my own experiences. Reviews and/or comments would be greatly appreciated as I am loving this story and it is a pleasure to write. Enjoy.

Xxxxxxxx

122.7

It had been two weeks since Ziva had weighed herself last. She was eating less than 500 calories a day, and was beginning to feel weak and irritable all the time. She knew logically that this was due to her lack of intake, but the voice in her head was just too strong.

Run, Run, Run .

Ziva quickly dropped her bag in the bullpen and headed towards the elevator. It was 0500 hours and as usual she was the first one of her team to arrive in the Navy Yard. She had made a habit of coming in to work early, so she could get an hours run in, before having a quick shower and being ready to work by 0630.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice Gibbs walking into the bullpen from MTAC. He sighed as he watched the young Israeli walk into the elevator and disappear out of sight.

She definitely looks thinner. I hope she's ok.

Gibbs shook his head at the thought, whilst making a mental note to keep a closer eye in her.

Xxxxxxxx

Ziva walked into the bullpen at exactly 0630 hours. She felt much lighter than she had an hour and a half ago, running always seemed to calm the storm inside her head somewhat. She settled down into her chair and started sifting through the case reports that she needed to type up. She tried to focus on the task at hand, but her mind kept wandering off thinking of calories, exercise and food.

She was pulled out of her trance however when a steaming cup of black coffee was placed on her desk.

"Thankyou Gibbs that's just what I needed." She said smiling gratefully at the older man.

"No problems David, I thought you might need it after that early run this morning" Gibbs replied whilst making his way up to the director's office.

How on earth does he know that?

Ziva watched Gibbs walk into the director's office in amazement. It did always seem that Gibbs always knew everything. Well she though smirking to herself. Not everything.

Xxxxxxxx

"Grab your gear, dead Naval officer in Quantico" came the barked order from Special Agent Gibbs.

Ziva immediately jumped up and grabbed her gear. The team was just about to settle down to lunch, and the look on Tony's face was just priceless.

"What a waste of a completely good kebab" Tony grumbled.

"Maybe you'll lose some of this" Ziva replied cheekily whilst patting Tony's stomach.

McGee laughed at the interaction which earned him a head slap from Tony.

"Are you coming or WHAT?"

"On it Boss" the three younger agents yelled and ran towards the elevator.

Xxxxxxxx

The team returned back to the naval yard, after processing the crime scene.

It was dark by the time they returned and all four agents were eager to start heading off home.

Ziva was exhausted having not eaten anything all day. She felt a surge of pride run through her body, and for once the voice in her head seemed to quieten somewhat.

She hid the small smile that was threatening to show on her lips, and started to pack her bag so she could go home. She was just about to leave when she noticed McGee and DiNozzo coming towards her with smirks on their faces.

"So Ziiivaaa we are taking you out for pizza tonight" Tony stated, the huge boy like grin spreading on his face.

"Yes and you have no choice but to come" McGee said picking up Ziva's backpack, as he proceeded to walk towards the elevator.

Ziva looked at the two male agents, trying to conceal the horror and panic that was welling up inside of her.

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, they are just trying to make me more fat.

But she knew that if she refused to go, it would just raise even more suspicion to her non-existent eating patterns. There was nothing to do, but go along with them and get rid of it later.

"Alright then, let's go" she replied whilst linking her arm in Tony's. She was doing her best to stay calm, and kept telling herself that it was ok. This wasn't her choice and she was going to get rid of it all later, so she might as well try and enjoy it.

Xxxxxxxx

Ziva sat at the pizza parlour trying to patiently sip on her glass of coke zero as she waited for the boys to finish eating there pizza.

She had already eaten two large slices and was feeling uncomfortably full and panicked. She watched as McGee politely ate his pizza, and Tony, well Tony shovelled the food in, as if he was never going to see pizza again in his life.

She looked at the remaining slices of pizza and tried not to think about the fact that she had just eaten that. She had eaten cheese and pepperoni, both of which were practically dripping with fat and oil.

You disgusting pig, now look what you've done. All that work and you've wasted it in an hour!

She took one last look at the boys and then excused herself. Practically running to the bathroom she locked herself into the stall, tied her hair back, leaned over and threw up. And then threw up some more. Her body had become so used to the constant vomiting that she could do it with any amount of food. Her body had become weaker and she no longer needed to use her fingers to stimulate her gag reflex. In a way she was grateful as this mean that her knuckles no longer bore "evidence" of what she was doing, but she also knew in the long term this could be potentially dangerous.

After about ten or so minutes, she could feel the acid in her throat and she knew that she had gotten up as much as she could. She stood up slowly, feeling the blood rush through her head, and feeling the familiar dizziness that she had gotten to know so well. She washed her face and slowly made her way back to the table.

Meanwhile Tony and McGee had been understandably worried. They had nearly run into the bathroom after her, with Tony wondering aloud if they needed to call a search party.

Ziva made her way back to the table. She put her hands in her pockets so that the two male agents wouldn't see them shaking. She felt tired and exhausted, and the mask that she wore was slipping…..

Xxxxxxxx

Tony paid the bill and the three agents left the pizza parlour chatting happily. Tony and McGee had obviously decided that Ziva was ok, since they hadn't mentioned how much time she had spent in the bathroom.

Ziva was relieved that the pair of them seemed so clueless. She knew that if this outing had included Gibbs, she would be sitting in an interrogation room right now being interrogated.

"I think I'll head off home now, it's getting quite late" Ziva told the boys, hoping they hadn't planned anymore "surprises" for tonight. She was quite exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and get some much needed sleep.

"I'll take you home Ziva" McGee said warmly, knowing that she would prefer a quiet ride in his car, than the banging music in Tony's. Plus it might give him a bit of a chance to talk to her.

Once they were in McGee's car, Tim tried to try and get the young Israeli to talk to him.

"Are you feeling any better?" Tim asked, trying to be as careful around the subject as he could.

"Feeling better than what?" Ziva asked her voice shaking, even though she was trying to keep smiling.

"You just have looked a little off lately, that's all" Tim said, trying to keep his probing as light and friendly as possible.

"Oh yes of course, I just had a stomach bug" Ziva replied, praying that Tim would accept that excuse and stop asking questions.

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better, but if you ever need to talk I'm here ok" Tim said, but he knew that there was something that Ziva was not telling him.

Ziva was relieved when they approached her house, because it meant that the probing would stop and she could just be left alone. It was nice that McGee cared, and in a sense she wanted someone to care, but at the same time she was terrified that they would figure out her "secret" and make her stop. She couldn't stop, not yet. So she couldn't let anyone stand in the way.

Ziva bid McGee goodbye and quickly entered her apartment. Once inside she quickly took the last of her sleeping meds, making a mental note to get a new prescription for them, and lay in bed until the drugs kicked in and she could sleep.

She loved to sleep, because it was only then that she could have some peace.