Chapter 35 – I Still Hear the Sound of Your Voice
How were they expected not to go stir crazy locked inside of the Kazekage's mansion?
Leaning back against the wall, he threw an arm over his bent upwards knee, looking out at the spotless room that made him itch with irritation.
The only upside to being in Suna was forming an alliance with Gaara, who'd sworn to fight for Konoha alongside them. While he disliked relying on another's strength, especially when said strength belonged to a former enemy, he'd said himself not too long ago that they needed power. They needed power on their side to go after ROOT, someone to keep them occupied while they went after Danzo.
Who better than the Kazekage with his Ultimate Defence?
Speaking of power… Back when they were holed up in his clan's hideout, and nothing was changing or progressing, he'd been tempted to test out a theory of his, one that only came to be after overhearing a conversation regarding Anko he'd had no part in.
According to rumours, Anko was holed up in one of ROOT's cells, except they weren't torturing her as much as they were conducting experiments on the woman when they somehow proved her curse mark continued to hurt. It had him paying particular attention to his own, often times wondering if he imagined the brief sparks of discomfort that danced along his shoulder, congregating on the mark.
Sighing with annoyance as his brother allowed Shisui entry to the room, he remained seated on the floor, not bothering to greet the older man.
He'd heard of his story and honestly? He called bullshit. It simply made no sense in his mind how Shisui was able to travel eight years into the future, although the only piece of information that made him believe it to be possible was the state of his eyes. Everyone in their clan – in the world, really – knew how powerful Shisui's eyes were, often boasting them to be at Uchiha Madara's level. Maybe it was possible to time travel with eyes like his?
Not anymore, of course. Shisui's eyes were nowhere near as strong as they'd once been, and he doubted they ever would be. He'd been expectant in the beginning, believing that if he merely let them rest, they'd be okay. But then he fucked Sakura over with that damned genjutsu and he was infuriated by the lack of control over the whole situation. Putting her at risk like that was inexcusable and he hated Shisui for it.
On Team Seven, Sakura was always the one who needed protecting sure, but more than that, she was the one who always patched them up and cared for them so deeply that it shook him. It was like her love knew no bounds and as it consumed her, it threatened to take them out with her too. And more often than he ever wanted to admit to it, he allowed that love, that pureness of hers, to light up his world. It was that innocence, that unconditional love, the need to protect and heal them and the ability to look passed their flaws, that made Sakura who she was.
She was his home.
He despised anyone who threatened to take that away from her, to take her from him.
Shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply, he replayed her words in his mind, anchoring himself to her wishes when the rage threatened to overwhelm him.
"What is it?" asked Shisui.
"Sasuke has informed me of a potential development," Itachi murmured and he could feel their eyes on him, though he paid them no mind. He was too busy hearing her voice and allowing it to terrorise the rage back into its box, allowing him to breathe easily once more. "As you are well aware, he has a curse mark, placed there by Orochimaru."
The disliking towards the Sannin was obvious in the way Shisui uttered, "Aa."
Finally looking to them both, Sasuke pulled himself to his feet, cutting his brother off and saying simply, "While we train, I'm going to attempt to draw him out of the curse mark."
Shisui blinked once, twice.
Then, he shook his head and his brows furrowed with almost amused confusion. "Wait, hold up. What are you trying to say, Sasuke? That he's living inside of…" He gestured to his shoulder, vaguely surprising Sasuke with being at a loss for words for the first time ever. "What makes you so sure it will work?"
"If we are not being misled, then Danzo has Anko-san due to the flares of pain in her curse mark."
"It's more like an uncomfortable twinge. The pain comes from being unable to control the power – a power Anko mastered, according to Orochimaru," Sasuke interjected smoothly. "Usually it twinges when it senses Orochimaru's chakra."
"Have you had any of those sensations?" questioned Shisui curiously.
He nodded once.
"And how does this make it a development?" he went on to asking, looking between the two brothers.
"Because I thought I killed Orochimaru," came his blunt answer, because honestly, was there any other way to say it? "However, Itachi believes there's a possibility that Orochimaru has attached himself to the curse marks."
"The curse mark once took over Sasuke when he was at his weakest, praying on the vulnerability and taking control of him," Itachi continued. "It's plausible Orochimaru is waiting for a similar moment to present himself once more."
Shisui showed nothing of what he was thinking, much to Sasuke's annoyance but like the other two, he refused to let said emotion show. If anything was learned during their being cooped up in the hideout, it was that he was nowhere near the level of his brother and Shisui and he refused to be left behind by the rest of them. Even if he couldn't physically train at that moment in time, he could at least attempt to train himself mentally.
Still, as hard as he trained himself, he continuously found himself looking to the two older men disdainfully. It came so naturally to them both – both were labelled prodigies of their clan and boasted such raw power that part of Sasuke suspected he would never catch up to them. To make it just that tiniest bit more personal, they each held a place in a heart that was once his.
Why would she choose you when she could have a stronger man?
His jaw clenched at the hissed thought.
"It's a stretch," Shisui stated after several long moments, once more assessing Sasuke critically. "If it is the case, then what?"
"Orochimaru has always possessed a deep fascination for the sharingan," he shot back in return. "What's more, he held some form of allegiance with Danzo. What's the chances of him having information that could aid us in going against Danzo?"
"Sasuke has a point," relented Itachi with a weighted sigh and he uncharacteristically leaned back against his dresser. Usually, his brother preferred standing tall, on refusing to show when he was feeling tired. It had a childish part of Sasuke worrying for him. "As much as I disapprove of this method and working with the likes of such a man, it could grant us another ally that Danzo won't be expecting."
How it was possible for Shisui's expression to empty further, Sasuke was unsure, but the deadpan unsettled him. That was until anger surged to the surface in response to his chuckle of disbelief.
"You want to work with Orochimaru?"
He's looking down on you like you're just a child again. He's always treated you like that.
"No," Sasuke snapped darkly, glowering over at the oldest man. "We want to utilise him."
"What's the difference?"
Look at him. Looking down his nose at you like he's so much better.
"The difference is that we can kill him again once we have what we need," he muttered, attempting to call forth Sakura's soothing words to subdue the madness but failing miserably. "Once and for all."
There was silence once more and it aggravated him when they looked to one another, like they were holding some form of telepathic conversation with their eyes alone. They always did it. All of them. They always looked down on him and whispered behind his back, claiming him to be lost to some mythical curse that allegedly plagued his clan.
They're doubting you because to them, you're just a child.
"With or without you, I will summon Orochimaru."
"You're being reckless–"
"Like going after Danzo with a failing sharingan?" Sasuke finally managed to say what he'd wanted to two days ago. "Like putting yourself and this whole thing at risk to try and impress Sakura?"
Anger flashed through Shisui's narrowing eyes, alerting him that there were buttons there to push – all potentially labelled Sakura. "You think I pushed myself to impress Sakura?"
He'll try and make excuses now and, in the process, will make you look like an idiot.
"Everyone knows you did," he snapped, the anger burning straight down his spine and tensing his muscles. "You couldn't handle seeing her attention on someone else and–"
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about–"
"You are both acting childishly," Itachi interrupted them both with his reprimand.
And here he is, the holier than thou big brother.
Sasuke gritted his teeth.
"Sakura has expressed to each of us that she doesn't want to pursue any romantic relationships – she is healing." Glowering at the pair of them and frustratingly making him feel like nothing but a scolded child, Sasuke refrained from looking at Shisui entirely, knowing that it would only serve to increase his anger. "Stop acting so selfishly and allow her that time to heal, without worrying herself over our feelings or your competitiveness."
Like he can talk, came that horrible, hissing voice once more. Like many other times when he heard it, Sasuke was half tempted to bash his head into the nearest hard surface to silence it. He swoops in to play hero every chance he gets.
Well, it wasn't exactly wrong, Sasuke thought angrily. Every time something went wrong or emotions were running high, Itachi seemingly appeared out of nowhere, apparently being the only damn person who could handle Sakura and her monstrous strength – another thing Sasuke called bullshit on.
He'd seen Kakashi handle Sakura's strength with unsurprising ease and knew the man's speed was up to dodging any of the blows. Hell, Naruto once said (while trying to fill an unwilling Sasuke in on all he'd missed) that Kakashi even taught himself the Rasengan and had mastered it without even trying. How the hell was Sasuke supposed to believe the Copy-Nin wasn't capable of enhancing his strength to neutralise Sakura's?
"No matter what, I'll always love you, Sasuke-kun."
The softly spoken words surged to the front of his mind, reminding him that even if they temporarily had a place in her heart, the love she'd gifted him with was unconditional. It was as Sakura previously said: they had a habit of coming back together.
Just because they were falling apart in that moment, just because they were going their separate ways and allowing themselves to heal and grow, did not mean they were by any means done with one another or their feelings.
So, if they wanted to fight for her affections, then Sasuke would sit back and let them tear each other apart.
He wondered what would they think if they knew she'd slept in the bed positioned in the centre of the room they were standing in, after saying she would always love him? Granted, it was more so passing out than falling asleep, but she'd looked peaceful and woke without a fuss, going about her day like nothing significant had even happened. Had he not been who he was, had he been more like that idiot Naruto, it probably would've stung.
"Are we done here?" he questioned blandly, interrupting the awkward tension between them.
"It would seem so," Itachi murmured in response and sighed. "But, Sasuke, do not do anything reckless. At least allow me to be by your side should you summon Orochimaru."
Again with the hero complex.
Rolling his eyes and despite it being his own room, he was the first to leave, keeping the door open in a silent warning for them to leave too.
"Hey."
Acknowledging her with a minute tip of his chin, Sasuke felt his shoulders relaxing somewhat when she came to sit by his side at the dinner table.
So far, they were the only two there, however considering it was the final meal of the day, he knew the others would be joining at some point due to Gaara's return from the Kazekage Tower. Until then, they all skulked around doing who knows what.
The request she'd made came to mind at the second meeting of their eyes, and Sasuke knew she wanted to know if he'd thought it over at all. Truth be told, he hadn't. He couldn't. He refused. Concurrently, however, he understood and appreciated that he was the only one she trusted enough to fulfil said request and it was that thought in particular that had him teetering towards actually considering it.
How could he do it, though?
Sasuke recalled the night she stayed in his bed, how soft she'd felt in his arms, how fierce her eyes were as she confessed her love to him once more and declared that she was his home. Then the next morning, when she'd been drowsy and confused for several moments, unable to place where she was or how she'd gotten there, until it clicked – witnessing the moment it all fell together for her, hearing the catch in her breath and the softening of her gaze as she replayed the events of the night before…
How could he go through with it?
It won't be her.
Sasuke shut his eyes foolishly, like it would even do anything against the voices in his head.
It'll be the version you couldn't stand, the one that locked your Sakura away.
"Sasuke-kun?"
It wasn't until she placed a dainty hand on his that he realised they were clenched and trembling.
"What–"
"How can you sit there like that?" he snapped without really meaning to, averting his gaze at the shame that had her frowning. "What you asked of me is–"
The sound of a conversation gradually growing louder had Sasuke silencing himself, though his eyes locked on hers for a long, uninterrupted moment, like he could shove his thoughts and accusations straight into her mind without having to utter a single word. There was nothing to be seen in her expression outside of her shame – no glimpses of second thoughts or regret. She didn't regret her choice and stuck by it wholeheartedly, leaving Sasuke's chest to constrict with the weight of her certainty.
How could she ask that of him?
It was Ino and her supposed caregiver – the latter sending him a brief glance of disdain until they seated themselves closest to the exit, Ino's hand cradling her bump lovingly. Whatever they'd been discussing walking to the dining room was forgotten about now that they were there, and he spared a quick look in Sakura's direction only to find indifference towards the sudden exclusion.
Sasuke wasn't even sure where to begin when attempting to dissect the change in her personality, though he knew it stemmed from the battle against Danzo.
While the others all looked over the fact that she was more apathetic than before, he couldn't. He didn't need to witness the shocking displays of impassiveness to realise what was happening, the easily snapping her own fingers to learn how to heal them, the not telling a soul about sharing his bed when previously she wouldn't have been capable of keeping quiet, the way she didn't even flinch when Ino cried in pain or asked someone else for help, the way she so callously asked him to…
Too late did Sasuke realise he was staring at her, and he was forced to ignore Ino's intrigued eyes boring into him and Sakura. They could think whatever they wanted – he didn't care. If they couldn't even notice the dark path Sakura had inadvertently stumbled upon while trying to find herself once more, then they weren't worth a second thought, in his opinion.
She was closing herself off to anything that displayed weaknesses, putting up a cold front to protect herself.
That didn't mean she was entirely closed off, though. On the contrary, she was still emotional, but that mainly came when she was having a particularly unstable day.
Like when she crushed Naruto's throat like it was nothing. That happened when they discussed Tsunade, her shishou. If he didn't know any better, then he would have said she'd dissociated and when coming back to herself, freaked, because she wasn't in control and lost in the emotion that she'd been drowning in prior to his approaching her.
"So," Ino began conversationally, looking between the two of them and grinding Sasuke's nerves to dust. "How did this start?"
Normally, Sakura's blush would have raged right up to her hairline, or she would have boasted to the point of turning his stomach. Instead, she stared Ino down for several moments before meeting his eye.
And stayed completely silent.
It just wasn't her.
Wasn't she supposed to be better now?
Sasuke wasn't sure what to make of the new apathetic Sakura, or why nobody else had noticed how different she was. What happened to returning to her old self and banishing the personality who'd taken over to cope through the torture? Was it the trauma that changed her personality?
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Stop being nosey," he muttered in their general direction, refusing to even look at them.
The rest of their group entered shortly before the Kazekage himself, and Sasuke didn't fail to notice the way Shisui's gaze lingered on the lack of distance between himself and Sakura. Though, he had to say he was surprised when he didn't sit on her other side, instead choosing to sit closer to Itachi and Kakashi. That didn't mean he didn't steal continuous glances over at them, however. He wondered what the older man was thinking.
"When do you think the rest of us will arrive?" questioned Naruto during dinner, stealing glimpses at each of their expressions to better read the situation.
Sasuke unfortunately had to admit that he'd improved since their days as teammates, although it wasn't massively, and he would still prove a great risk on missions that required even a modicum of stealth.
"There is no telling," replied Itachi with a sigh, since it was his crows playing messenger.
"And not just because we don't know who survived and who didn't," Hanabi added quietly.
Since he'd knocked her back into place, it was obvious that the youngest Hyuuga kept to herself and didn't so much as look at Sakura in the wrong way anymore. She was still outspoken, but wisely chose her moments and never mentioned their abandoning Sakura or anything regarding her mentality.
Good, because he hadn't been bluffing. He would gladly put a pretentious Hyuuga down.
"I am continuously searching the desert for Konoha-nin under the guise of watching for the Akatsuki," Gaara informed them all, and Sasuke couldn't believe how easily he'd forgotten about Akatsuki and the other problems the shinobi world was facing. "I have yet to discover anyone."
Were they to assume all that was left of their rebellion was the few sat at that table? That everyone else was dead already? Sasuke looked to the other side of the table, assessing Neji's too composed features as he listened carefully to Gaara's words (understanding that on their list of those who were MIA was his teammate, Tenten). Then, he looked to his former sensei, the faint narrowing of his gaze alerting him to the older man's thoughts of his friends also being on that list.
At least they were merely presumed missing and not officially dead, Sasuke thought bitterly to himself. Unlike his parents, who he'd failed so catastrophically and never had the chance to make up for it. And now, their eyes were being used by the man who'd taken not only their lives, but the lives of his entire clan.
Beneath the table, he was stunned when a hand took his, the movement hidden from the others.
"Are you searching far enough?" challenged Sakura – a complete opposite to the girl who'd once cowered at the mere mentioning of Gaara's name, or Suna as a whole. Sasuke had to admit he liked that change. "They could be lost somewhere out there due to all the sandstorms."
Temari was the one who responded, eyes narrowing, "He may have agreed to help take back Konoha, but Gaara's still Kazekage and the threat of the Akatsuki and Madara is too great to exhaust himself searching for people who might not even be alive."
"If you will excuse me," Neji stated without warning and stood.
His meal was left untouched, chopsticks not even broken apart before he turned to leave. Both Hanabi and Hinata stared at him, the latter's single eye downcast.
He knew all about the Hyuuga's late night activities. Each night, he retired much earlier than the rest of their group and Sasuke never missed the thrum of intense chakra and concentration whenever he passed his room, leading him to believe he was continuously conducting his own searches for their missing comrades, no doubt straining his eyes while doing so.
Returning his eyes to the table once more, Sasuke assessed the haggard features before him – all but two, that was. Both Gaara and Temari remained unsurprisingly composed, never allowing their personal feelings on their current situation to show or sway any decisions. It was a strength he'd noticed Sakura taking advantage of several times now, though admittedly more Gaara than Temari.
It was as though any disturbances going on around her were counteracted by his blatant display of indifference, using said indifference to calm herself somehow. Was it similar to the way he used her words to control his own rage? Was that why she also tended to gravitate towards Itachi, a man who'd always been so calm and composed? Would he have to become more like the two men to stand a chance?
"Uchiha."
It was with an unsettled stomach that Sasuke realised he'd idly picked at the meal before him, and he couldn't recall a single bite despite it being half eaten. Frowning, he lowered his chopsticks to their ceramic resting stand, uncaring for the intricate designs on the inch long object.
"You seem to have much in common with Sakura," commented the Kazekage as he stood, alerting him to the now empty dining room that caused his discomfort to grow. "You are lost in your thoughts just as much as she is."
At least if he was so lost in thought, then he wasn't lashing out or saying cold words out of anger, unintentionally hurting one of few people who actually cared for him. Try as he might to control those impulses, it proved difficult, like his mind scorched with the rage within him and oftentimes took control.
"Follow me," Gaara instructed without waiting for a response. He merely left the dining area without looking back, making his way down the corridor and towards the grand staircase.
With a repressed sigh, since he had nothing better to do anyway, Sasuke followed the redhead, wondering just what Gaara wanted with him so late into the evening, or why they seemingly never ceased in their walking as they passed by everyone's rooms, even Gaara's.
"I find this place convenient when I need to think with a level head," he informed him without any prompting, and Sasuke narrowed his gaze on Gaara's back. "A bonus feature is that nobody thinks to look so high up."
Meaning he was undisturbed while brooding on a rooftop, Sasuke noted when they left the safety of the mansion for the first time in at least a week now. He inhaled deeply the moment the crisp, fresh air hit him, relief for finally having a brief moment of freedom surging through him.
He hated being locked up and ensured to savour every second up on the rooftop.
The sky was almost black, though Sasuke noted that the darkness was broken up by far more stars than he would have seen had he been back in Konoha. It was a difference that caused him to ache deeply, and he wondered when or if he would even see the starry night sky from within Konoha's walls once more, for despite being as dulled by the life that went on inside their village, it was still the sky he'd once shared with his family.
Stare lowering to the village before him, Sasuke did his utmost to ignore the painful sensation in his throat as it tightened considerably.
Did he even have a right to miss them, at that point? He was, after all, the one who'd so carelessly left them behind the first time around on his quest to gain more power. The shame that no doubt brought upon his parents was inexcusable of him, and with an almost childlike feeling of being so utterly lost, Sasuke looked back to the sky, wondering whether he would ever be forgiven for turning his back on them.
Most importantly, he wished he could have seen them just one last time, to apologise for being such a shameful son.
Sasuke was grateful for Gaara's silence as the man sat down on the stone fencing that surrounding half of the rooftop they were sat on, for he knew he wouldn't have been able to speak even if he wanted to.
Since the night of the attack, he'd always felt unshakeably cold and no amount of layers or fires seemed to warm him, so it didn't surprise Sasuke in the least when the cold winds of the desert caused a shudder to wrack his body. He looked down at his shivering body, wondering if he would ever feel warmth again, or if it was some form of psychological trauma that caused him to feel such a way, especially since others hadn't noticed, even after touching him.
"There you are," came a gruff voice from behind him, though Sasuke didn't care to watch as Naruto joined them on the roof. Instead, he kept his eyes forward, appreciating the darkness of the village as everyone settled down for the night. "It's kinda eerie how empty it is down there."
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Gaara tilted his head in acknowledgement, then as Naruto sat on the redhead's left, legs outstretched comfortably despite his words of finding the village eerie.
"Konoha is a lively place," Gaara allowed after several moments.
Smiling slightly, the blond reminisced with an air of sadness, saying, "Yeah, when Baa-chan became Hokage, more bars opened."
From Orochimaru's stories of his old teammate, he knew that Tsunade was an awful gambler with an alcohol dependency, one that exacerbated but didn't create her ferocious temper. Though, when he mentioned their time as teammates, it was done so with respect to her abilities, and he described her as loyal with a good heart that'd taken several beatings over the years, causing her to downward spiral into the emotional mess she became. Overall, Tsunade was one of very few who'd obtained Orochimaru's respect.
Was that what Sakura had admired about her? Her loyalty? Perseverance? The fact they'd both had their hearts broken? Were there more similarities between them that he hadn't noticed?
"When we finally go home, we should throw a crazy party. I think Baa-chan would've liked that," Naruto suggested with a grin Sasuke knew was forced. He leaned back on his hands, blue eyes peering between them both. "Obviously you'll all be invited too, Gaara! To thank you for helping us out."
He gave a small smile. "Thank you."
"No, man. Thank you," he said more earnestly and Sasuke inwardly sighed, returning his gaze to the deserted streets before them. Considering how harshly the temperature had plummeted, it only made sense that it was so empty, whereas Konoha's streets didn't die down until much later. "I don't think you realise how dark it got for a while, but it's okay now! Now everyone who's here so far has more hope than ever because you've joined our side."
"I'm glad."
"And you seem to help Sakura-chan too," continued Naruto in a tone that was too cheerful and light. Had he cared enough to check, Sasuke knew he would have found the blond staring not at Gaara, but at him. "How do you keep her calm like that?"
Intrigued to hear the answer for himself, especially if it aided him in better understanding her or becoming more like the other two, Sasuke glanced at the redhead from the corner of his eye – only to look away immediately when he found his suspicions from a mere second ago to be correct: Naruto was staring at him.
Why did he have to be so goddamn nosey? Surely not because of his childish crush that Sakura never once returned? Especially when considering the fact his attention had been captured by the Hyuuga now? How did she feel seeing how fixated he was on Sakura?
"You all treat Sakura as though she was break easily–"
"But she will–"
"Not necessarily," Gaara argued calmly. Only once he deemed the blond to truly be listening and not ready to interrupt the first chance he got, the Kazekage continued in that same manner of calmly disagreeing. "Have you ever considered that perhaps your treatment of her is partly to blame for Sakura's outbursts?"
Sasuke had suspected as much weeks before, and those suspicions only doubled when they drained Sakura of her chakra. As dangerous as she could potentially be, they were treating her as an invalid who couldn't be shown an ounce of trust. How wouldn't that piss her off? Sasuke got angry just thinking about how they'd all changed their views on her and were suddenly treating her.
"How?" demanded Naruto, scowling. "We try not to piss her off–"
"That's his point, idiot."
"What do you mean?"
Sasuke was almost to the point of grinding his teeth to try and keep his anger at bay. Was it really so hard to understand that they were potentially the cause of her outbursts?
Perhaps sensing his building rage, Gaara answered for him in a much calmer tone, stating, "Although I barely know Sakura, I understand that she worked hard to get to where she was. Having her friends and comrades display such open distrust would be disheartening to anyone – a feeling both you and I understand well."
Naruto's eyes widened with horror at the realisation.
Finally, Sasuke thought with a roll of his eyes.
"Sakura isn't an invalid," he told his former teammate in no uncertain terms.
"However, that doesn't mean you should dismiss her mental well-being so quickly," Gaara argued in that same quiet manner. "She is dangerously unstable and that fact has been proven several times now."
He decided he disliked the rational man who'd possessed the psychopath once determined on slaughtering his old team.
"What are you trying to say?" demanded Naruto, his frown of confusion growing deeper by the minute. "You're saying we shouldn't dismiss her being traumatised but at the same time we… should?"
Standing because he needed more distance between himself and the idiot originally barely six feet away, Sasuke walked to the other side of the roof, breathing in deeply when his back was to the other two.
"No. I'm saying be there without handling her so delicately. Accept her trauma and help her grow from it. Uchiha." Sasuke's shoulders stiffened as he was called out directly and his gut instinct screamed that he was about to hear a piece of advice he had never asked for, but he didn't turn around or acknowledge Gaara. "You and I both understand the calling of madness. Sakura's instability requires a calm mind to counteract it."
The rage returned at full force.
Naruto's confusion was evident in his voice as he asked, "Wait, what? Where'd that come from, Gaara?"
"Stay out of it."
But he didn't, stating bluntly, "You will only fan the flames."
His fists clenched.
"Oi, I don't know what's going on, but quit it. Both of you," Naruto said firmly and Sasuke heard him standing. "It's messier than that, Gaara and you shouldn't–"
"Neither of you should be getting yourselves involved," he muttered darkly, glaring over his shoulder to drive the point home. "It has nothing to do with either of you."
But it didn't and they kept talking like he hadn't just ordered them to shut up. Sasuke wondered what the punishment would be if he took them both out there and then.
Do it. They're trying to tell you how to feel.
"Look, I get you love her–"
"Shut up, Naruto."
"No."
He gritted his teeth and returned his murderous gaze to the village, which was now considerably more defined due to his sharingan activating in response to his mood.
"You need to hear this," Naruto continued, being the idiot Sasuke knew him to be by ignoring all warning signs of their conversation turning violent. "Because I don't think you realise how badly you broke her – and to just think that everything can go back to normal or that you can slide back in with her when she's as vulnerable as she is now is wrong, Sasuke! Sakura-chan would literally die for you but I don't think you've ever felt the same way for her because you didn't even appreciate her when we were teammates and–"
"Breathe, Naruto," sighed Gaara as he interrupted the airless tirade. "There is no use in rambling."
He didn't care about what they thought. His more pressing thought was whether Sakura possessed similar thoughts.
Sasuke wasn't a braindead moron who was ignorant to how he made others feel. Over the years, he knew how badly he'd broken the hearts of those who cared most for him, and he had to live with the consequences of the rash decisions he'd made when he was just thirteen years old. If he could go back in time and forewarn himself of the dark path he was about to stumble onto, he would, but it was impossible unless Shisui suddenly wanted to start talking.
Like he would if it meant potentially losing Sakura.
He couldn't help but ponder the different paths his life could have taken, or whether he was always destined to fall victim to the Curse of Hatred. Would he have worked alongside his father at the station? Would he and Sakura have explored their bond without the calling of madness on either side? Could he have made her happy? Would he have finally felt equal to his brother or at least strong enough to not be such a disappointment to their father? Would his family have been proud of him?
Like any of that would have ever happened for someone like you. You were too weak.
Once more, Sasuke found himself looking up to the sky and he felt as though he vanished inside the lonely darkness that met him, the sensation suffocating him. The only time it felt bearable was when she was there.
"Love is about sacrifice," Gaara once more tried. "Ask yourself this, Uchiha: can you be who Sakura needs you to be? Are you even willing to change for her? To sacrifice who you are now?"
What the hell would he even know? Gaara was detested by the majority of his village. Even his own goddamn siblings hated him for most of their lives, and only recently began opening up to him!
Gritting his teeth, he tried to shut the venomous voice out.
He knows nothing about love.
But he did, because Sakura said she loved him unconditionally, and that that love would always bring them back together even if they fell apart. If nothing else, he had her to go back to. Even with his clan gone, with never apologising or managing to make his parents proud, he had her.
He had her.
"Sometimes the biggest display of love can be letting them go," Gaara stated, taking both Sasuke and Naruto by surprise. Glancing behind himself to the redhead, he found him already staring at him, completely unaffected by his blood red eyes, and he said, "Can you say you love Sakura enough to do that during the healing process? To truly set her free so that she can find herself once more?"
Naruto looked to him questioningly, with a faint trace of hope that sickened Sasuke, because what did that make him for not wanting to let her go? Selfish? Heartless?
Could he let her go? Stepping back was one thing, because Sasuke knew in the back of his mind that they would come back together again. Letting her go entirely seemed much too permanent to him.
"Sasuke, you…" Naruto tried again, the frown obvious in his voice.
Who the hell are they to dictate your relationship with Sakura?
But if it was what was best for her…
Sasuke looked back to the sky, eyes squinting against the discomfort weighing down on him.
And then he shut his eyes with a sigh, his decision made easily because of who he was.