Finally time for more side stories, eh? Well anyway, this takes place in between arcs 2 and 3 of Shattered Kasaneru. Enjoy reading this little side story. See ya again at the bottom.
"Ah… Why must love always fade?" Words rang out within his mind. Subaru sat at a circular table. On the opposite side of the shape, with a cup of tea in her hand, was the Witch of Greed, Echidna.
"Why, must it fade?" She asked again, though Subaru didn't get the impression that she was asking him.
"Why did you leave, Echidna?" Subaru questioned the Witch of Greed. His words were dripping with hatred. Jagged barbs emanated from his throat as he asked her the question.
"Love always fades." She responded, in her eternally calm voice. Subaru continued to grow angrier, as he still felt like Echidna was ignoring him.
"I hate you." He let out his spiteful hatred. "I hate you, Echidna." Subaru shoved the words at her as he tossed the cup of tea, which had been laying before him, into her face. Upon contact with the woman the cup shattered, but Echidna didn't even flinch as shards of porcelain broke across her face.
She stared at him for a few moments before she reached out her pale hand toward the fragments of the teacup. Her pale skin passed over the pieces. Subaru's view of them was interrupted for the shortest of seconds. Then, when he saw the porcelain once more, or what had once been porcelain. Instead, it had been replaced by black shards.
They were the same exact color as the old amulet he'd once worn. Any calm that had been present in his eyes melted away as he gazed at those fragments. Within them, he could see blurred reflections of multiple people. He had no way to identify them other than to wait as they slowly grew clearer and clearer.
His eyebrows rose in surprise as he caught a glimpse of red. "Reinhard." He whispered to himself. Subaru's entire being was filled with guilt as he thought of the red-haired man.
"I'm sorry, Reinhard." He spoke an apology, even though he knew that the Reinhard he was apologizing to was long gone. Left abandoned by Subaru. Who let out a defeated breath as he started to give in to anguish.
"My, how interesting." Echidna leaned forward and grabbed onto the back of his head. Subaru's gaze flicked down to where a black mist had pooled around her other hand.
Within that darkness, Subaru could see a gray-haired merchant and all the other members of the Emilia camp.
Subaru's mind plunged further into guilt as he looked down at all of them. "Why?" He asked Echidna before she shoved his head down into the pool of mist. Without a hint of resistance, he was consumed in it completely.
It's so dark. I'm dreaming again, aren't I? It's been weeks since I dreamt. Subaru searched around in the dark, his arms reaching out to find anyone, his ears ready to notice any sound. It's just a dream. Just a dream.
Even as he repeated that thought to himself, his paranoia would not go leave him. It held on tightly as a light appeared in the darkness. The light started as a pinprick, then quickly bloomed into a light reminiscent of the summer sun. It left Subaru blinded, at least temporarily, as his eyes had been adjusted for the complete darkness, instead of the light of the summer sun.
In an attempt to keep get an idea of what his surroundings looked like, he raised a hand in front of his face. With the added shade he was barely able to open his eyes to a squint. A sound started to enter into his ears, but he was too focused on the overwhelming brightness that he was unable to fully understand it.
While his eyes got used to the light, the sound grew more and more distinct, soon he realized that it was a person's voice, then, he noticed that it was a man's voice, and finally, he determined that it was Reinhard's voice.
"Subaru." The Sword Saint's arm was raised, the man's gloved hand touched his shoulder. Subaru finally got over his disorientation and began to inspect the environment.
Subaru was in an empty field of grass, in the distance he could see rolling hills of verdant green. "Echidna?" His resentment projected across the world as he searched for the Witch.
"Subaru." Reinhard's voice grew desperate as he spoke Subaru's name once more. It's only a dream. The black-haired boy ignored the tone of Reinhard's voice and continued searching for Echidna.
"Subaru?" The voice of the Sword Saint suddenly overflowed with despair. Subaru snapped his gaze back toward Reinhard at the tone in his voice, then he searched Reinhard's face. Only to find anguish and torment. Tears had welled up in the young swordsman's blue irises, and Reinhard's face was twisted in agony.
Subaru had to react quickly to catch Reinhard when the man's knees dropped out from under him. "Subaru, why?" He grabbed Subaru's forearm. "Why? Why? Why did Felt abandon me? It was because I was unworthy, wasn't it? Why did she leave? Why did you make her leave?" Streaks of clear liquid poured down his cheeks.
"WHY?" Reinhard released his tortured emotions and screamed at Subaru, who did little to stop him and only let the man scream.
"It was necessary, it was… I… I don't know, Reinhard." His breaths were heavy as he spoke down to the red-haired man. "I'm so sorry, but I don't know."
"Why?" Reinhard's voice was drowned out by dozens of others that spoke through him. So many different tones and pitches tore from the Sword Saint as he spoke for all of the people from before Subaru had reset. The only commonality between their voices was that they all sounded in pain.
Although, there was one exception to this. Even with all of their voices overlapping, if he focused hard enough he could find the one satisfied and content voice.
"Why?" Deep within the chorus, he could hear Roswal's words, highlighted by his speech pattern, and by the fact that his words sounded far more upbeat. It was more of a why am I this lucky? Rather than the tortured why of all the others.
"Why, Barusu." One of the many speaking through Reinhard added an extra word. Ram's tone rang out across the dream world as his mind focused entirely on her nickname for him.
Reinhard's form melted away to reveal a pink-haired maid. Ram's countenance was twisted in agony as she stared at him. "Barusu, why… did you let me ignore Rem?" A blue-haired girl flashed in his mind, a sense of loss bloomed along with Rem's face.
"How could you let me ignore her, Barusu?" Ram's eyes were filled with tears, it was the first time he'd ever seen her like that. Her legs gave way below her as she started to sob. The oni's despair grew and grew until she screamed at Subaru.
"WHY?"
"Ahhh." Subaru groaned as he snapped up in his bed. He sucked in breath after breath trying to calm himself down.
It wasn't until a few moments later that he finally noticed that the air he was breathing in was icy and frozen. Soon after that, he realized that his skin was being plagued with stinging pain. The cold perspiration, which had gathered up from his nightmare, was currently in the process of freezing directly on his sweat glands.
What's going on? His brown eyes scanned across the room. Isn't this Puck's mana release? Subaru thought back to the chill that had been building up in the mansion for the past few days. That's definitely what this is then. He focused back on the reality outside of his mind.
Where he quickly noticed the fairly out-of-place sound of teeth chattering together only a few centimeters away from the bed. Subaru stretched his back to get a better look at the source of the noise. Now that he leaned over the edge of his bed he saw Ram laying on the floor in her regular maid uniform. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and her body quivered from the temperature.
Once Subaru saw her he rapidly pushed away his guilt, which was still lingering from his dream, and yanked a few blankets off of his bed to wrap around Ram. Once Ram saw this she forced her teeth to stop chattering and spoke to him.
"Idiot Barusu, I'm fine without you getting your grubby blankets on my perfect skin." She tried to push her face into a smug smile, but she only ended up with a shaking face as she shivered anew from the unyielding cold.
Subaru unilaterally ignored her protests and curled her up in the blankets.
"Seems Ram can't deal with the cold," Nan whispered into the back of his mind, his tone was devoid of any humor; however, it also didn't feel like he was criticizing Ram, instead he was merely pointing out an observation.
"That's interesting, also don't listen to her, she needs help." His curiosity mixed with his desire to help Ram as he commented on the situation. Once he was done speaking he manifested in the air so that he was visible to Ram, then he quickly rushed over and danced around her all the while he hummed a soft tone.
The maid's eyes followed the spirit, and her gaze softened. Subaru paid their interaction little heed as he continued to wrap Ram up into something that looked like a large ball of blankets. Once Ram was completely encased, aside from where her head peeked out from the top, he lifted her up and placed her on his bed instead of the floor.
Wait… why the hell was Ram right next to my bed? He tried to think of any reason, but the only thing that came to his mind was: Maybe she came to wake me up to go make breakfast.
"You got any idea?" He reached into the back of his mind and questioned his contracted spirit. A slight hint of mirth came from the spot where Nan's emotions were held.
"I do, but I won't tell you." His childishness shone through for a short moment.
Huh… Well, he would inform me if it was important enough. Subaru dismissed it and continued to make sure Ram wasn't going to freeze to death.
"Are you alright, Ram?" He pulled up a chair from his desk and placed it right next to his bed.
"Do I look alright you blithering idiot?" Subaru shook his head and ignored her insults, although she continued anyway, "I'm wrapped in your gross Barusu blankets." She spoke words of scorn, but as she looked up at him gratitude entered her eyes. Alongside something else that he didn't quite understand. Is she apologetic…? He shrugged his shoulders and spoke once more.
"Well tell me if you need more blankets, or for me to get your sister…" He trailed off as he thought of Rem. Her voice had been among those screaming at him. I'm sorry I couldn't wake you up, Rem. I'm so sorry.
He didn't finish his statement, instead, he stared off into space, guilt infesting his eyes and forcing away that stability he'd built up. He ignored the worried expression on Ram's face.
From her spot among the covers of Subaru's bed, Ram ignored the cold and glared up into the boy's brown eyes.
Subaru's gaze was placed directly on her face, however, she could tell that he wasn't actually looking at her. Instead, he was staring through her at something that existed only in his mind.
I need to find some way to get rid of that guilty look. Ram thought of how he must've gotten that expression. It's because I dropped his hand. It had gotten too cold for her to continue holding onto Subaru's firm hand, and by extension calm his nightmares. He saw something in his dreams because of that. Blame grew in her heart, though it wasn't directed at herself, Ram recognized that this wasn't her fault.
This is that Great Spirit's fault. He could've given us a little warning about his mana release period. Roswal had explained the possibility of a mana release occurring; however, he'd never specified when it was going to happen. Ram shook her head in distaste for the feline spirit.
"Barusu!" Ram snapped him out of his trance-like state.
"Huh… do you need something?" Subaru asked her in a confused tone.
"Yes, I need some tea, so get to it moron." Ram requested with a soft voice, Subaru didn't even hear the insult, after all, he'd figured out a long time ago that they were fake.
Back in Ram's mind, she was trying to figure work out a plan, there was only one problem. I can't think when I'm this cold.
After a few seconds, Subaru nodded to her request and walked off to go brew some tea for her.
Once Subaru had left the room, Ram pulled the blankets around her form to try and get any warmth she could. She let out the shiver she'd been holding in as cold air brushed along the skin that her maid uniform exposed on her back. I should've gotten into my warmer uniform earlier. Again her disdain for Puck returned. He could've at least been gradual with the temperature drop.
Yesterday the weather had been a few degrees colder than normal, but it had been nowhere near this level of cold. She could barely think about anything other than trying to find some degree of heat. Her legs trembled as the icy atmosphere rubbed against the skin above her long stockings.
She remained like that for a few minutes before Subaru returned with a tray of tea in his hands. He had brought two cups, one for himself, and one for Ram. He quickly poured the warm liquid into one of the cups and handed it to Ram.
The maid reached out her arms from the massive shroud of blankets that surrounded her, then she grimaced when cold air slammed into her uncovered hands. She pushed past the biting temperature and grabbed the cup that Subaru had offered her. She grimaced as she raised her head to the porcelain so that she could take a drink.
With a gulp, she swallowed the burning liquid that poured down her throat. Once she had downed the entire cup she gave it back to Subaru, who was in the process of pouring himself his own cup of tea. After he finished pouring out his own drink he took hers back.
"Do you need any more?" Ram shook her head and retreated into her mind to think. Her shivering had mostly calmed down with the hot tea filling her. "Alright then." He lifted his own cup of tea to his mouth. The pink-haired maid noticed how he drank tea in a fashion that exuded dignity and propriety. It looked as if he'd spent years honing tea etiquette.
How do you have so much time to practice these things? Ram had noticed that a large portion of Subaru's day-to-day actions seemed like they'd been trained to perfection over a massive period of time. However, she dropped this question of hers when she noticed that the guilty look was still clearly visible in Subaru's eyes.
Ram forced herself into a deep concentration with a single objective in her mind. I'm gonna find some way to cheer you up. Mark my words, Barusu.
After around ten minutes to think Ram had formulated a plan. She got out of the bed and started to walk toward the exit of the room, she continued to hold all of Subaru's blankets around her as she walked. The owner of those blankets stood up and followed behind her. "Barusu, go get a fire started in the dining room, and go get Rem and Beatrice-sama" Ram ordered.
"Why?" He responded with a tilt of his head.
"So that we can talk to the Great Spirit, and stop him from turning us all to ice." She snapped back as her teeth started chattering.
"It doesn't feel very cold…" Subaru trailed off as he looked down at his fingers which were beginning to turn purple.
"You're just ignoring the fact that you're freezing to death, moron." Ram's voice was filled with concern at the fact that he could easily brush off something like that. Even she, who had been in constant agony since the loss of her horn, couldn't ignore pain like that.
"Alright." Subaru's form twisted in guilt as he walked off to do as Ram had asked him.
As she watched him walk off her hand grabbed the skin above where her heart was. It hurt her dearly to see him in a state like that. This plan is going to work, I'll make it work. She turned her head in the direction of Emilia's room. I just have to get the Great Spirit to release his mana a little differently.
With a determined fire burning in her red eyes, she set off toward the half-elf's room.
On the way there she ran into one of the mansion's other residents. "Oooooh, what a lovely morning we're having, eh Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam?" Ram's heart quickened as Roswal strode over to her.
"I would disagree, Roswal-sama," Ram spoke to the man with a voice full of fondness.
"Of course it couuuuuuuuuld also be taken as an unappealing morning due to its quite, abnormaaaaal temperature." He smiled down at her, a similar affection entered his voice, though his was not romantic as Ram's was, instead it was platonic and a little familial. Ram sighed silently to herself, her knowing this did not cause her to abandon her romantic feelings. She'd known they would never be returned for years now, but she still continued to love him.
"Yes, Roswal-sama that's why I was going toward Emilia-sama's room," Ram answered him.
"Ooh, ignoring our responsibilities as a maid and disturbing your superiors are youuuuuu?" He didn't sound like he was going to stop Ram, but he was very interested in what was happening. He could easily discern that she wasn't doing this because of the cold that was affecting her. "And why wouuuuuld you be doing soooomething so brazen?"
Ram blushed as his question made her think of Subaru. Her heart beat even faster as his black-hair filled her mind. "Hehe," Roswal giggled softly to himself as he looked down at her.
"I seeeeeeeeeeeee, well then I suppose I can assist you in thiiiiiiiiiis goal." The clown had figured out exactly who she was causing her to blush with little difficulty. Ram may have been good at concealing her emotions but Roswal had known her for nearly ten years and had four hundred years of experience reading people.
Ram nodded and continued on toward Emilia's room. Guilt rose in Ram's heart as her love tore in two separate directions. Could I love both…? She tried to examine herself, but she had already thought of this before.
The answer was no. Ram knew her limitations, and she knew that loving both Subaru and Roswal permanently was beyond her. She also knew that the time when she couldn't continue to love both and would have to choose was soon approaching.
That choice isn't here yet. She didn't want to contemplate it right now, so she pushed her decision further away.
As the minutes stretched on she reached the hallway with Emilia's room. Once she got to the room itself her red eyes dropped to the bottom of the door. Where they quickly noticed snow rushing out from the space in between the floor and the door.
"It seeeeems that the Great Spirit has thrown his consideration to the wind," Roswal remarked before he raised his voice and shouted to the girl on the other side of the doorway.
"Emilia-samaaaaaaaa, we're going to enter your room now!"
"Roswal? Wait don't… Why?" Emilia's words tripped over themselves as she floundered to find a way to stop him from coming in.
"You don't have to come in everything is alright nothing is wrong there's really nothing out of the ordinary I have no idea why you'd want to come into my room it's not like I'm hiding anything it's alright Roswal seriously I have no idea what's causing this in fact I want to know why you want to enter my room there really is nothing happening I don't know how to stress it enough Roswal but nothing is happening I know you've helped me out a loooot and I owe you a debt but there is no reason to want to come into my room there really isn't." Emilia finally ran out of breath after she ran a verbal race to make a certain Sin Archbishop feel that his right to being the fastest speaker was being infringed upon.
Roswal's face twisted in slight annoyance at the girl's antics, then he called out a question that he used as his trump card over Emilia in any situation like this. "Emilia-sama can you promiiiiiiiiise me that nothing is out of the ordinary." His voice was full of disappointment that he had to go through this verbal dance with the girl that he viewed as being incredibly nerve-wracking to deal with.
"Uhm… I caaaaaaan't promise that, but-" Emilia responded to his words. He nodded his head toward the door in a signal to Ram.
"Open it." He allowed the maid. Who quickly reached over and grasped the handle of the door, which was frozen to the touch. She ignored the searing pain in her nerves and pushed the door open. Only to be met with a rush of frozen air. Snow covered her face and Ram had to use some of her blankets to shield herself.
"Heeeeeeeeey," Emilia waved her arms around and stood in front of the origin of the massive storm of cold. "It's rude to just burst into my room, isn't it, right?"
"Noooooot when she has the permission of the room's owner." Roswal sighed behind Ram.
"It's alright Lia." Puck called out from behind her.
"Now we would like you to come and joooooin us for some tea in the dining room." Roswal looked on in the same irritation at the gray cat that was now hovering above Emilia's shoulder. The storm of ice dissipated as Puck stopped releasing his mana.
"I've kinda forgotten my manners haven't I?" Puck scratched the back of his head.
That's an understatement. Ram and Roswal both commented to themselves. Roswal made little attempt to hide his expression of being at his wit's end. Ram on the other hand was able to keep her annoyance toward the spirit concealed.
"Please come with us, Great Spirit-sama and Emilia-sama." Ram bowed as best she could while still in her cocoon of blankets.
"C'mon Lia." Puck started to fly over to the door of the room. Emilia looked at Ram in guilt for the trouble she'd caused the pink-haired maid.
Ram paid her little heed and instead turned to leave the room along with Puck and Roswal. When Emilia noticed that the group had begun to leave, she quickly followed her spiritual father, benefactor, and the maid she wanted to befriend out and toward the dining room.
On the other end of the mansion in that dining room, Subaru poured a new cup of tea down his throat as Rem arrived with wood for the fire. The blue-haired maid quickly built up pieces of wood in the fireplace.
"Can you light that Beako?" Subaru requested the blonde-haired spirit which had joined him in the dining room, as Subaru had quickly figured out, promises of being able to pet Puck's fur still worked on her.
"Fine, I suppose." Beatrice reached out her small hand and let out a faint whisper, "Goa." The wooden chunks in the fireplace quickly caught ablaze. "There your fire is lit, in fact. Good thing Betty doesn't need it to feel warm." Subaru looked down at her with a slight bit of humor in his eyes as she moved closer to the blaze anyway.
"Sure Beako," Subaru whispered in a dry voice.
"What is that supposed to mean?" She shouted back to him in outrage. Subaru quickly grasped onto one of the drills in her hair. His lips tilted up a tiny bit as he rolled her hair through his fingers. "Stop touching Betty's hair."
Subaru ignored her and reached his other hand out to the fire to warm himself. "Betty will hit you in fact." He continued to bait her into taking action.
"That might not be the best idea." Rem commented as she got tea ready for the mansion inhabitants who hadn't joined them yet.
Subaru shook his head and put his other hand in Beatrice's hair. He shifted his body so that he was standing fully behind her.
Beatrice's face turned beet red in anger as Subaru pulled her drills out to the side of her head and let them bounce back. "The maid warned you, I suppose." She growled out as she forced a wall of wind into him.
Subaru flew back toward the doors of the dining room, fortunately, before he bashed his body into them Rem caught him. She giggled slightly at the scene that had occurred. Rem. Subaru looked down at the floor in guilt.
"Don't touch Betty's hair like that anymore." Beatrice wrapped her arms together and forced a humorous smile from her face.
"If you asked politely I would've stopped," Subaru spoke dryly.
"Betty did ask, in fact." Her visage once more grew red with anger.
"Subaru said politely, I suppose." The boy mocked with a hint of humor in his eyes. Even though his tone remained neutral, as did his face, he was still able to elicit a shocked laugh from Rem.
"Taking advantage of her personality like that." If Nan had a head he would be shaking it, all the while smiling.
"Humph." Beatrice shook her head.
Instead of responding further, Subaru looked over at the spirit with warmth in his gaze. Nostalgia glinted in his eyes as he thought of a day very similar to this one. A day before his contract with Echidna, that snowy day of memories so long ago gone by.
"I believe that's the first joke I've ever heard you make," Nan commented on the improving state of Subaru's mind.
"I guess that's what you could call it." Subaru didn't see the value in being able to make a joke other than to make other's laugh. Why does he consider that some kind of milestone? His empty expression scrunched up a little as he tried to understand the spirit's words.
After a few moments, he simply shrugged and walked over to the fire to wait for Ram to return. The fingers of flame danced in his brown eyes along with remorse.
A few minutes later Ram burst through the doors of the dining room with a quiver as the cold got to her once more. Rem or Barusu better have made tea. She commented to herself as Puck, Emilia, and Roswal followed behind her.
Once she walked further into the room she saw Subaru, Beatrice, and Rem all turn to look at her. Rem's face filled with concern as she stared at her sister wrapped up in blankets.
"Sister!" Rem quickly jumped over and poured out a cup of tea for the pink-haired maid. "Here, drink this." She handed the cup over to her twin.
"Thank you, Rem." Ram offered her gratitude as she quickly grasped the cup in both hands, then she drank every drop of tea without a hint of hesitation. Warmth once again flowed throughout her body as the tea worked its way into her stomach.
"Puck-sama." Ram turned to the Great Spirit, "Would you mind possibly altering your mana release to include the area around the mansion instead of just inside." The maid's words were polite but everyone except Emilia could sense the hidden scorn. Puck ignored it and examined her words with a thoughtful expression.
Emilia's purple eyes were full of confusion as she gazed at Ram, and next to her Roswal's face was glowing with interest as his blue and yellow eye jumped between Ram and the black-haired boy behind her. A boy who was currently staring at her with a mix of wistfulness and guilt.
"It might cause trouble for Betty and Lia, but it would get warmer for all of you guys. Huh, I really have forgotten all of my manners haven't I?" He giggled to himself softly. "Yes, I could do that." Puck eventually agreed to her request.
When Ram heard Puck's assent a smug smile rose on her face. I'm gonna get rid of that guilty look in your eyes Barusu.
After only a small adjustment to the way that Puck released his mana, and the barrier around the mansion holding the cold in, a puffy white cloud floated over the entire mansion. Bright snow drifted down from the sky and coated the ground in a blanket of white.
The padding of snow emanated from his right as Emilia paced back and forth impatiently. "Calm down, Emilia-tan. Ram promised that she had something for us to do during Puck's mana release."
"Of course sister will have something incredible planned, don't worry Emilia-sama." Rem commented from the side.
"Yeaaaah, and sorry for not telling you guys about Puck's mana release. I didn't have to worry about it back in the forest so I didn't think it would be too much of a problem." Emilia apologized to them once more.
"Shut up with your apologies, I suppose." Beatrice's voice seemed a touch empathetic as she spoke to Emilia. "And Betty better get to rub Bubby's fur for covering for him for so long." The spirit crossed her arms and let off an air of stubbornness.
"Yes, Beaaaaaaaaaatrice is right apologies do lose their effect after only a few, thouuuuuugh I believe you have discovered that already, iiiiiif that isn't the case then..." Roswal's smile was betrayed by his disdainful words, as he slid into the conversation. "Also Subaru-kuuuun is right, Ram should have something fun planned." His blue and yellow eyes turned to Subaru, his smile grew wider when he mentioned Ram.
"The hell is that about?" Subaru tried to fully make sense of the clown's behavior so he asked his contracted spirit.
"No clue," Subaru was able to sense that his spirit was mentally shrugging his shoulders. "Oh wait… actually I do know, but it's pretty obvious so I'll let you figure it out on your own." Nan tried to get Subaru to look at the world a little more closely.
Maybe if he can figure this out on his own, then he can start to get better. The yin spirit thought to himself.
Back in Subaru's mind the boy still had little inkling into Roswal's expression. After a few moments of watching Emilia try to talk to Beatrice and Subaru quickly gave up on his quest to figure out the clown.
There really is little point in thinking about it. I already know everything he does for the next two years, so I guess I can leave him to his odd fetishes. Subaru remembered Beatrice's comment toward Roswal that he had heard a few days ago.
"Someone like him would have a lot of odd fetishes." Subaru mused to his partner once more.
"It would be interesting to figure out what they were," Nan responded in his curiosity. Prompting the horrible image of Roswal doing something remotely sexual to appear in Subaru's mind.
Fuck that's worse than the Great Rabbit. The black-haired boy commented to himself. He quickly shook his head and tried to banish the image but it remained stuck in his head. "It's stuck in my fucking head." Subaru lamented his horrible circumstances. This was a problem even Return by Death couldn't fix.
"Yes, it is." Smugness invaded Subaru's mind through his bond with the spirit, who had never actually been curious, he'd only wanted to mess with Subaru.
"Whatever could you be thinking about to make you grimace like thaaaaaaaaat?" Roswal asked him.
"Shut up, Ros." Subaru dismissed him and used some of Echidna's teachings to force the image from his mind.
"Weeeeeell, I feel exceptionaaaaaaally hurt by these words." The clown put his hand to his heart and feigned incredible emotional pain.
Before Subaru could offer another response, the doors of the mansion burst open to reveal a pink-haired oni. Subaru's eyes widened at the clothes she was wearing.
She had donned her winter maid uniform, the same one Rem currently wore; however, unlike her sister she was wearing a pair of pink earmuffs. Finally, Subaru fully realized what had caused his eyes to widen.
Over her winter maid uniform, Ram wore a black, orange, and white jacket. It was of a specific make that existed as a one of a kind in this world. Subaru tilted his head to the side as he questioned why Ram was wearing that.
Ram herself walked up to the group of people with a forced scowl. "Ram," Subaru started to speak.
"Barusu." Ram quickly responded.
"Why are you wearing my jacket?" Subaru's tone was flat as he idly questioned her theft. He didn't expect Ram's face to blush slightly at his question.
"It's warm, and unworthy of being worn by someone as worthless as you any longer, Barusu." Ram smugly admitted to her theft to cover her blushed face.
Subaru shook his head. "Well if that's the case you should at least figure out how a zipper works." If I let her use it then she won't suffer the cold as much. He rationalized to himself and looked at Ram's confused eyes. "Huh?" He questioned her gaze.
"Barusu, what is a zipper?" Ram looked around at his jacket, unfortunately, she had no clue as to what she was looking for. Instead of trying to explain it to her Subaru reached over and grabbed onto the zipper and the opposite side of the jacket to do it for her.
He was too busy to notice the even greater blush that had erupted across Ram's face or the smug smile on her lips. Once he had finished zipping up his jacket for her he took a step back to rejoin the group.
"Betty didn't want to have to see that." The spirit crossed her little arms and pushed a disgusted expression onto her face.
"What do you mean Beatrice-sama, Subaru was just helping out sister." Rem didn't acknowledge the look she'd seen on her sister's face and the warmth she'd felt through her Synesthesia.
"Hehe, whaaaaaatever do you mean Beatrice?" Roswal commented smugly.
"Yeah what are you talking about Beako?" Subaru's eyes held his normal guilt along with a hint of curiosity.
"I don't care to explain it, I suppose." Beatrice turned her head away from them.
Subaru continued casting confused glances at her as Ram cleared her throat. "Anyway time for the activity I have planned for today." She finally started to introduce the activity she'd promised.
"What brilliant idea have you come up with, sister?" Rem called out.
"We will be making snow sculptures." Ram pitched her idea, "Except me, I will be judging."
A burst of nostalgia slammed into Subaru at the maid's idea. Memories spent with all the residents of Arlam and the mansion sang in his mind.
"That's a brilliant idea sister!" Rem immediately voiced her agreement to her sister's words.
"Ooh, that sounds like fun." Emilia tossed out her opinion on Ram's proposal.
Subaru watched silently as a blue light flashed above Emilia's head. "I have to hear the prize first before I let Lia enter."
Roswal and Ram both looked over at the feline spirit with a hint of distaste. They didn't particularly care for the spirit's extremely overprotective behavior.
Ram didn't need to think about the prize after all she had it already figured out. "Some of Roswal J. Mather's finest wines which that idiot Barusu and I recently discovered." She was referencing something that had happened a few days ago.
"So they get to hog aaaaaaaaall of that fine wiiiiiiine to themselves? Wine which my graaaaaandmother spent her hard-earned money on." Roswal shook his head but there was a smile on his face as he thought of the contest. "Very weeeeeell I suppose I will just have to win it baaaaaack," Roswal confirmed his desire to join the contest.
"I guess if Lia wins I just have to drink it all to protect her." Puck winked at the maid and allowed Emilia to join the competition.
"Betty thinks this has been a colossal waste of time, I suppose." Beatrice started to walk back toward the mansion.
"Hey now Betty this sounds like it could be fun," Puck quickly flew over to the librarian, "And if you win you can share all the alcohol with me."
"Mmm." Beatrice's childlike face tightened in thought. "If you insist Bubby, then… fine, Betty will participate." The spirit walked back to where everyone was gathered, while Puck pumped his arms in victory.
Everyone looked to Subaru who had said nothing about the contest so far. "I'm in," Everyone but Beatrice and Rem celebrated. Beatrice didn't because of her eternal Beakoness as Subaru called it, and Rem was silent because she still didn't know entirely what to make of Subaru. Though she was a tad bit excited that her sister's idea had been accepted.
"So, how is this actually going to work?" Subaru probed at the details of the competition which Ram had not yet given.
"First, I will be judging, and how I do that is entirely up to me, and second you have as much time as you need, or until dusk, if you're slow and worthless." She flicked her eyes to Subaru when she said that, but to everyone it was quite obvious that Ram wasn't truly trying to insult him, only mess with him a little.
"And lastly, no sabotaging other statues." Ram crossed her arms, "Now that that is out of the way, begin." She didn't make any grand gestures or anything, instead, she just uttered that single word and left it at that.
Subaru and Roswal quickly sprang into action and started to gather snow and ice for their statues. Emilia and Rem soon followed as their reflexes caught up to Ram's words. Finally, only Beatrice remained who stood quietly, her eyes glanced around lazily at all the people working.
After a moment of silence, Ram spoke to the spirit. "Why are you not starting yet, Beatrice-sama?" Ram gestured out to all the others who were hard at work gathering the snow for their sculptures.
"It would be a pain to try and navigate around them." Beatrice intended to wait until all the others had clearly defined workspaces. Currently, they were all in a mad dash around the field to find the right spot.
"I see," Ram responded curtly.
The two watched slothfully as the group got their spaces ready and began to build their statues.
"Well, I suppose its Betty's turn." The spirit let out a long sigh as she walked over and claimed her own spot.
Ram smiled to herself smugly as her plan came together, all she had to do now was wait.
Subaru set to work diligently once he'd gathered up all of his snow into a single block. His hands were practiced as they moved throughout the snow, dexterously forming the broad shape he wanted. Ram is the judge, and it's always best to appeal to the judge. He thought to himself as he pictured his concept.
"Keep watch on the others for me." Subaru requested Nan's assistance. He didn't feel an ounce of guilt at using him to watch the competition, after all, Ram hadn't made a rule against it. Nan gave no verbal assent to Subaru's order but he could feel the spirit float away from him and move toward the others.
Emilia was working to his left, Rem to the left of Emilia, and Roswal was to Rem's left. The group looped around in a half-circle so Roswal was almost directly behind Subaru.
When Subaru requested Beatrice's location, Nan sent small bursts of images into his head to show him that the blonde spirit was moving toward him.
The pink-garbed girl began to work on Subaru's right. It didn't take her long to gather up enough snow to make a large pillar. Mostly because she didn't use her hands to do it.
Wait, is she? Subaru looked over to his right and saw Beatrice using wind magic to gather large quantities of snow.
Tornadoes jetted from her hand as she began to sculpt her own statue. "Heeeey Beatrice you aren't supposed to use magic." Emilia reprimanded the small spirit. "You have to use your own hands to do it." Subaru turned around to get a full look at all the competitors who were now gazing between Emilia and Beatrice. Rem and Roswal had been using their hands just like Emilia and Subaru.
"Yes, I apologize, but that has to be unfair Beatrice-sama." Rem called over the short distance, which was only a couple meters, between their workspaces.
"The maid never mentioned any rule against it." Subaru realized he had no platform to speak, as he'd used the very same logic only a moment ago, so he remained silent.
"Weeeeeell then I suppose we shall have to ask Raaaaaam." Roswal's eyes glistened with opportunity at the possibility of being able to use magic.
"Sister!" Rem called out to her twin.
"Haaa, what is it?" Ram yawned as she stood up and walked over. Subaru hadn't even noticed that she'd sat down in the snow.
"It's unfair for Beatrice to use magic." Emilia claimed, "She should have to grasp victory with her own two hands."
Ram's red eyes flicked across the entire group. She closed her eyes to think for a second. Eventually, she looked up at them, then, she shrugged. "I don't see a problem with it, as long as it doesn't interfere with the other sculptures."
Ram quickly turned back around and sat down in the snow again. "Weeeeell I suppose I shall be enjoying some of my niiiiice wine tonight." Subaru noticed that Roswal said my when referring to his grandmother's wine, but he quickly chalked it up to Roswal being overconfident about his victory.
The clown flashed a smile as he raised his hands to his statue and started to mold it into the perfect shape. It didn't take long for it to take form. Subaru quickly noticed that he and Roswal had chosen the same design for their statues.
Then he looked over to Beatrice who was staring at Roswal's statue intently before realizing that was a better idea, so she switched from making Puck to copying Roswal's design.
Hmm. Even if three of us make it Ram will still love the design. Subaru turned back to working on his statue and noticed that Emilia and Puck were using ice magic to form exactly the same shape as Roswal, Beatrice, and Subaru.
Noticing the absurdity of it Subaru turned his sight to Rem who was making the exact same thing. Of course Rem would also have that idea. Subaru watched as Rem used water magic to carefully mold the snow into the desired image.
"Well, I'm at a disadvantage here." Subaru reached over to the relatively untouched block of snow he'd gathered and set to work once more.
"You are," Nan responded to his words after a moment.
"Always direct aren't you." Subaru pushed the thought to him as he stopped working for a second.
"Of course." Was the spirit's only response back.
Well their magic won't hold a candle to my skill. Subaru recalled the last time it had snowed at the Roswal mansion before he'd returned to zero, he'd spent multiple years in that one day perfecting his snow sculpting skills. He'd figured if he could make the perfect sculpture then he could help Petra cheer up a bit.
The maid had always seemed so sad back in the mansion. "Why?" Her voice slammed a word into his mind. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm sorry Petra. I'm sorry. I don't know but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't take on your suffering.
After a few minutes spent staring off in guilt, Subaru shook himself out from his mind and looked down at the ground. Where an idea quickly popped into his head. Huh. If I can manage it then that will be an advantage. He kneeled down and placed his hand against some of the snow that had built up.
"Can we change the colors of Minya crystals?" Subaru questioned his spirit.
"Doesn't sound too impossible." His contracted partner responded. "Get the mana and I can probably figure out a way to manage it."
Subaru nodded at the spirit's thoughts and reached his hand toward the ground. Along the way, he forced a few of the spirits in the atmosphere to hover around his hand. He quickly drew mana through them and Nan and into his palm.
"I can take it from here." The spirit grasped the flow of mana and altered it slightly as Subaru pushed the energy into the snow. From there a rainbow of colors appeared on the ground. "It's a bit of a pain but not too difficult, we should never use this in an actual fight, but for a bit of style here it should be very useful," Nan commented on his work and its uses. Subaru sent his agreement through the bond. It looked fairly easy, although it was definitely tedious, so he tested it for himself.
After a few tries, he finally managed to get it right and he was able to produce any color shadow crystal he wanted. And there is the color advantage. Subaru looked back at his block of snow, the vague outline of the sculptures subject was beginning to take shape.
"Done, in fact." Beatrice stepped back from her work and walked over to where Ram was sitting. The maid made no move to judge the work yet.
"I'll judge it when everyone is done." She called out to the group.
"Aaaaand I am also dooooooone." Roswal commented, as he followed in Beatrice's footsteps and walked toward Ram.
Subaru turned back to his statue and didn't let the pressure get to him, after all he had practiced the art of snow sculpting for thousands of days on end. Even then that didn't account for all of his confidence, as thanks to Nan, he now had colors to paint the statue with.
Oh, I could also use crystals for that. Subaru thought to himself as an idea came to him and he got to work. He ignored any outside interruptions and entered a trance like state while he constructed one of the greatest snow sculptures in the all of Lugunica and the three nations beyond.
A few meters away Emilia quickly finished up her statue thanks to mana from her spirits. "That looks preeeety good." A smug smile slipped across Emilia's face, as she gazed upon her handiwork.
"Uhhhhhhhh…" Puck looked at the statue, he put his paw up to his chin as he tried to figure out what it was supposed to look like. No matter how hard he studied it he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.
But he was unable to ask that question to his daughter when she looked so proud of her handiwork. An almost awkward silence began to stretch out and Puck kept trying to determine what it was supposed to be.
After a few moments of trying he let out a long sigh, then he spoke to Emilia, "Yeah it looks great Lia." His voice sounded very unsure but Emilia was too proud of herself to be able to tell.
"Well then I suppose should head back over to where the others are." Emilia nodded to her contracted spirit's words and began her walk toward where Ram, Beatrice, Rem, and Roswal were all waiting patiently for her and Subaru to finish.
As they walked past Subaru, who was still working, and Beatrice's statue which was completed Puck shook his head once more. I guess I'm never getting that alcohol. He thought mournfully.
"Hey Betty," Puck called out in a disappointed voice. He gave a half-hearted wave to the spirit girl.
"Bubby! Do you like my statue?" Beatrice asked him with a glint in her eyes.
"Yep, I love it, Betty." Puck attempted to sound enthusiastic but he couldn't properly muster the emotion, so Beatrice's face fell slightly at his words.
"You better let me rub your fur for that, Bubby." Beatrice crossed her arms, a gesture which she was very practiced at, and did habitually at this point.
"Of course Betty you can rub my fur anytime you please." He smiled down at her from his hovering position. Would be better if you were rubbing my drunk fur, but not much can be done about that I guess.
Puck shook his head for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past few minutes and returned to his crystal to wait for Subaru to finish working on his statue.
The entire group watched in a mix of boredom and awe at the way Subaru constructed his statue. Their boredom came from the fact that he was incredibly slow going in his work, but on the other hand, their awe came from the sheer skill they saw being demonstrated.
Subaru wasn't being slow, he was being methodical, precise, and incredibly dedicated.
The thought seemed stupid to Roswal, but it still entered his mind: I suuuupose he's a master snow sculptor. He couldn't hold back the wide smile that split his face as he contemplated the hilarity of the situation.
Though Ram on the other hand viewed Subaru's work as astonishing. He ran his hands along the snow as minor spirits glittered in the air around him. She didn't entirely notice, but Subaru was using the mana in the atmosphere to reinforce his statue with translucent crystals. With this added strength he was able to make a statue that was stood in an incredibly lifelike pose.
Ram doubted that it should have been possible for mere snow to make a pose like that. And she should also have been correct. But Subaru hadn't let that stop him, so he continued on with his artistic vision unimpeded by natural laws.
The entire group looked on in awe as they saw something beautiful take shape before them. For a few hours they looked at it as a true work of art was being made. Though some of the group looked down in sadness at the realization that the snow would melt tomorrow, and this work of art would simply disappear.
We should appreciate it while it's here then. Puck thought, he had been granted a tiny hint of wisdom by the portions of his age that he still remembered.
As the sun began to set on the white landscape, Subaru finally added the finishing touches to his work, which were the colors. With a swarm of spirits at his back, he brought brilliant colors of shining mosaic crystal into the world.
Once he was done he stepped back and looked at the vibrant statue that lay before him. "I'd say I might have forgotten a few things, but it does look good," Subaru commented on his handiwork as he walked back to where the rest were gathered.
"Oh thank the Od Laguna, you're finally done Barusu. I hope you know that my earlier insult was meant as a joke, not an ideal to strive for, but I suppose…" Ram shrugged, "If you didn't strive to meet the insults levied against you how would you be so…" She struggled for the correct word, "Barusu." Once she realized that no insult could be as good as his very name she just used that.
Even with her vile insults against him, Subaru did not get offended, either it was because he didn't care about insults to himself, or he noticed that Ram's tone had been almost loving as she insulted him.
Subaru simply ignored it and looked at her patiently. "Right," That gaze reminded her that she was currently running a competition. "Onto the judging portion of the contest."
Only a moment later Ram and the rest of the group were all a few meters away from the statues, it didn't take them any time at all to notice one glaring fact.
All of the statues were of Ram.
"Soooooo, I suppose we all went with the same idea." Roswal looked across the group with a grin on his face.
"It's the maid's ego that motivated it, in fact," Beatrice added in fact instead of I suppose because they all knew of Ram's superiority complex. And they also all knew that it was a common strategy in contests to play to the judge's preferences.
"Rem disagrees with that," A blue-haired maid asserted, "It is just natural that everyone would want to construct the image of my sister, she is very deserving of all of our artistic talents." Rem smiled as she praised her sister once more.
"Both are correct. My sister's constant love has given me a superiority complex, and it is only natural for everyone to want to capture someone as lovable as myself with their snow sculpting talents." Ram self-assuredly claimed.
"Anyway this has gotten a little boring because Barusu is slower than a snail, so let's get this process started."
Ram walked around the circle of statues, stopping first at Beatrice's to gaze upon it for a few seconds.
"Hmm…" She cupped her chin in her hand, and for a second she grew annoyed at the sound Subaru's jacket made when it moved, but when she remembered who it belonged to her eyes grew soft instead of irritated.
Once she was done with that she got back to studying the sculpture that was supposed to look like her. However the dress was horribly off, the hair was the wrong way so that it looked like Rem's instead. The snow itself was haphazardly carved out, most likely because Beatrice had used nothing more than a tornado from her hand to make it.
After a few seconds of searching, because she wasn't going to waste too much time searching for the good on a clearly awful sculpture, she shook her head and parted her lips to speak. "No." Was all she said as she eliminated Beatrice's work.
Her quick evaluation elicited an outraged response from Beatrice which took the form of narrowed eyes, and a short whisper, "Betty doesn't drink alcohol anyway." She turned her head away and started to walk back toward the mansion; however, Subaru and Puck quickly ganged up on her.
"Stay a little while, Beako, this'll be fun," Subaru whispered as Puck floated in and poked her on the nose.
"Yeah Betty, Subaru is right." Puck added.
With the boy and spirit against her, Beatrice reluctantly agreed to stay.
When the three rejoined the group at large Ram resumed her judging. She skipped Subaru's work, an indifferent look was painted across her face when she walked past it, although inside her mind she was impressed at its astounding quality.
A few more steps brought her to Emilia's statue, which was a step above Beatrice's in quality. The magic that had been used to shape it wasn't the most refined she'd ever seen, but it did look like effort had been put into it unlike Beatrice's.
"Better than the librarian's, excellent effort Emilia-sama; however, I cannot give it a passing mark." Emilia smiled at Ram's praise and paid little attention to her denial, and the slight coldness in the maid's words.
At least I did my best to win. Emilia thought to herself.
"Good job, Lia." Puck's voice was warm and encouraging. There was a tiny bit of regret to his words but he suppressed it easily as he looked at the smiling face of his daughter.
Ram swiftly moved on to her sister's sculpture, after all, she wanted to get to Subaru's before the sun fully set. Should have enough time. Ram commented as she flicked her eyes to the orange star, which was only just starting to dip below the horizon.
She turned back to Rem's statue, as her eyes gazed upon it she noticed the exceptional care and delicacy that had gone into its construction. The statue itself was almost a perfect recreation of Ram, constructed entirely of beautiful lines and edges.
A smile appeared on Rem's face as she appreciated her sister's work, then Ram flipped her eyes to Roswal's and was blown away even further.
The clown's statue was very similar to Rem's in design, but it was like Roswal had taken every skill needed for construction and upped it a few notches. It was a multitude of tiny details that created a lifelike near clone of the pink-haired oni.
"I'm sorry Rem, but yours does not quite measure up to Roswal's." Ram apologized to her sister, who quickly smiled at her older twin.
"Its okay sister, Rem knows that you are a truly amazing judge and you do not need to apologize for your undoubtedly amazing choices." Rem turned around her sister's apology instead of accepting it.
"Well then onto the last two." Ram stepped back so that she could gaze upon both Subaru and Roswal's.
As deeply as she looked at Roswal's it just could not compare to Subaru's sculpture. It seemed crafted with thousands of years of experience, and a dexterous hand. However, the thing that truly made Subaru's incredible was the crystalline coloration that covered it.
Ram looked upon the statue that perfectly resembled herself and could only think of a mosaic window. It gave off impressions of regality, smugness, a hidden warmth in the eyes, and there was an empathetic hand outstretched despite her hostile face.
It was truly Ram captured in a single statue of crystal and snow. Even her clothes were exactly the same as the ones she was currently wearing. A winter maid uniform covered by a foreign jacket from Subaru's homeland.
A glint of fading sunshine hit the statue directly in the eyes and she could see love reflected in those red crystals, she couldn't tell who it was directed at but it was undoubtedly there.
With that final sight, Ram decided her winner with ease. "It seems that you finally managed to do something correctly, also it makes sense that you can only do things like this in relation to myself. Barusu wins." Ram smiled self-assuredly as she awarded the reward to Subaru with a relatively minor insult.
Subaru merely raised his eyebrows in slight surprise that he'd triumphed over Roswal. "Huh… well who wants some alcohol?" He asked the group.
"You're really sharing it with us, Subaru?" Puck questioned with a hopeful expression on his face. Subaru nodded to his request and set off for the mansion to distribute his reward among the group.
"Truly excellent wiiiiiiiiine," Roswal said as he raised up his glass and downed the entire cup in a single gulp.
Puck was sitting in a small bowl as Beatrice poured wine all over his body. The spirit had a massive smile on his face, almost as if he was in heaven.
Emilia and Rem took small sips at their own glasses of wine which Roswal had offered them.
Ram was drinking just as quickly as Roswal to the point where she may have even been out drinking the wizard. Subaru had forgotten just how high an alcohol tolerance Ram had. Now as he looked at the group smiling as they had their own little conversations guilt shoved back into his heart.
What happened to everyone after the Sanctuary? He thought back to all the members of the Emilia camp, who'd been either broken, like Emilia, or full of anguish like Garfiel and Reinhard. Or in Otto's case had simply left.
As Subaru sat and pondered the question he realized couldn't truly come to an answer. All he came up with was: It's my fault. I'm sorry, for whatever I did, I'm sorry. He sent a thought to the lost timeline he'd come from, which he still thought of as his norm. This one was so far from what he'd grown used to over his many uses of Return by Death.
He stared down at the table, and failed to notice the small tears that dripped from his eyes as he thought of that lost timeline. They'd wept, but he'd taken on their suffering. They'd been alive. They'd had the protection of him and Echidna working together.
They were all safe, they didn't suffer, so why did he still feel so guilty for what he'd done to them, and for not staying to help. If the second trial really was true, then I'm sorry Petra, Rem, Ram, Beatrice, Otto, I'm sorry that I left you all behind. To his ever compounding guilt, Subaru realized that he could not wish the same for any of the other members of the Emilia camp, no matter how much he wished to.
I hate you Echidna. If this is something I did, then it's your fault as well. Subaru still didn't notice as concerned eyes turned to him.
"Barusu?" Ram's voice shook him from his regretful stupor.
"W-What is it?" Subaru's voice cracked as he spoke those words. In the back of Subaru's mind, Nan was silent. He could feel even more guilt coming from the spirit's mind. Nan was desperately trying to think of something to say but he came up with nothing.
"Thiiiiiiis wine is wonderful, you should have sooooooome." Roswal held out a full glass to him. The clown's eyes seemed to glimmer with understanding at the guilt in Subaru's eyes.
Stop. The clown thought to himself. I caaaaaaan't get too attached now, the time of my plan is almost at hand. No second thoughts, I've already come this far. Roswal pushed away his own self-blame and handed the glass of wine to Subaru.
The black-haired boy stared down at the cup. In all of his deaths, he had not once had alcohol. It was something his mother had told him was a bad thing while he was still underage. He'd held onto that inhibition ever since coming to this world.
But now as he gazed into the liquid in the cup, and saw his tearful face reflected back, that inhibition faded. I've died over one-hundred-million times and lived for over six-hundred-thousand years. Is it really that bad to try some?
After a few more seconds of thought, Subaru came to his conclusion. I'm older than anyone in this room I think I'm well past any drinking age in existence. He tried to remember what his mom would say to him, but he couldn't fully remember her. Echidna's contract had held his memories in place, but it hadn't worked as well on things from before his arrival in Lugunica.
While his parents were faded, he still remembered one thing clearly. "As long as you can smile when you're done everything will be fine." He reassessed the glass in front of now he didn't think that the words were all that significant.
Even still the words did make him look at the glass before him longingly. He couldn't understand why, maybe one of these days he'd figure it out, but he was fine right now. And that alcohol before him seemed appealing.
"Huh…" Subaru made a short sound to himself as he knocked the glass of wine, and all of its contents, back down his throat. It suddenly burned its way down his esophagus, though Subaru did not flinch at the sensation, he'd been eaten by the great rabbit tens of thousands of times. A little bit of wine was nothing. I guess Roswal's grandmother liked strong alcohol.
When that floaty feeling settled over Subaru his tears dried up. With the grimace on his face lightening, Subaru asked for another glass. He'd never drowned in this world, but maybe he could still get some experience in it if he drowned his sorrows.
It was the same purpose that Roswal J. Mathers had originally purchased the wine for. And now as she or he, as Roswal was now a male, looked upon Subaru he was happy that someone was able to gain salvation in the alcohol where he no longer could.
Only an hour later Subaru stared into another full glass of wine. The room seemed to shake around him. Well, this is… something. A tiny portion of his brain thought. He was able to hold onto some of his judgment thanks to Echidna's training; however, from the attempt at standing up that he'd made only a few minutes ago, he knew that his motor skills weren't exactly intact.
When he moved to drink the glass in his hand Roswal reached over and grabbed Subaru's wrist. "I think you've had a biiiiiiit too much Subaru-kuuuuuun." The clown commented with a perfectly normal expression, the alcohol had not affected him in the slightest.
"Yeah your probably righhhht." Subaru could easily tell that he'd slurred his words a little, but he didn't particularly care.
Subaru willingly handed over the cup with a shaky hand. "Yeah, Subaru you shouldn't be drinking that much." Emilia's voice called out from the other side of the room, she wasn't able to hide her very drunk tone as she chided him. Subaru turned his eyes to the girl and a small blush appeared on her face.
"Hey is alcohol supposed to make more Subaru's? Because that's unfair, why do you get so many Subarus and I don't even get any other Lias." The girl called out the injustice of the world.
"Come over here all of you Subarus." Emilia gestured with her hand for Subaru to join her. Once he heard her words he quickly glanced around the room, just to make sure he wouldn't crash into anything.
In one corner of the room Rem and Ram were speaking to each other, the twin with blue hair was very obviously, heavily, under the influence. On the other hand, the red-haired oni had drunk more than Subaru, Emilia, and Rem combined and she barely even looked tipsy. Ram's movements were a little unsure but Subaru could tell that all her mental faculties were still in place, although that was only what he could see at a single glance.
Right next to him Roswal was sitting with Beatrice, the librarian looked flushed and was ranting on about how if mother didn't care enough to help her once, then she didn't care about her mother's ancient rule. Roswal in turn gazed mournfully at the spirit.
Puck was laying down in that same bowl, still covered in wine, his face was in absolute bliss as he relaxed in his spiritual paradise.
Subaru reached into himself to look for that buzzed feeling that alcohol was supposed to bring. He quickly realized that the feeling was buried so deeply that he could barely experience it. This is far less effective than everyone said it was.
The boy forced his body up into a standing position, and when he inevitably fell he was able to catch himself on the table. "You should be careful." Nan sounded smug as he pointed it out.
"Probably." Subaru took the spirit's words literally and responded as such, while he continued on toward where Emilia was sitting.
"What is it, Emilia-tan?" He asked the silver-haired girl.
"You guys need to sit down before you talk. It's unfair for all of you Subarus to gang up on me from up there." Emilia patted the ground softly. Subaru felt very little as he looked down at Emilia's adorable drunkenness.
After only a few seconds to think the boy sat down criss cross on the floor of the room. A sigh escaped his lips as he no longer had to focus on keeping himself balanced.
"Emilia-tan?" Subaru asked the girl who looked extremely embarrassed. After a gulp rang out from her throat she asked him something.
"Hey Subaru, is your lap comfortable?" She asked him with a straight face.
"Wha…?" Subaru tilted his head at the unexpected answer. Emilia didn't elaborate further, and instead lowered her head onto Subaru's leg.
"Hehehehe," The girl giggled to herself as she let her eyes drift closed, "It's so comfy." She let out a soft sigh and let herself drift into sleep.
"Huh…" Nan spoke in his mind. "Not unexpected but still interesting to see." The spirit's voice sounded like he was hiding something, and that he enjoyed that Subaru didn't know it.
"What?" He tried to figure out what his spirit partner was hiding.
"Again, not telling." Nan's childishness returned for a moment as he spoke.
I thought contracted spirits were supposed to be helpful. He could barely believe that Nan normally withheld information from him. However the spirit always gave him help when he did need it, so maybe he just wanted Subaru to figure it out on his own. Unfortunately, Subaru had no idea what the yin spirit wanted him to figure out.
Eventually, he shook his head and stared back down at Emilia, who was resting peacefully on his left leg. Same position as last time. Subaru thought to himself as he dragged those long-ago times back into the forefront of his mind.
The memories brought him a tiny hint of enjoyment, and the corners of his mouth drifted up a slight bit, but they were soon followed by hundreds of thousands of years of anguish. What happened? Where did I go wrong?
Where? Where? Was Echidna the cause, or was it all my fault? Subaru in his drunken state was quickly overwhelmed by his guilt. It didn't take long for a few tears to slip down his face.
Thankfully Emilia didn't notice his silent weeping as she was fast asleep. He gazed down at the girl. Her long hair flickered and disappeared in his eyes, only to be replaced by shoulder-length silver hair.
"Huuh, would that be better? If Subaru says so, I will do so." Emilia's dependent voice rang out from his memories.
I can't keep these burdens a secret, no matter how much I want to. The boy's own words from the forest echoed within his mind.
As he heard the voice of his past self he realized something. In his constant preparation for the upcoming battle with Petelguese. He'd started to isolate himself from Emilia, the one he'd gone to when his burdens were too much. It had been nearly a week since he'd had a conversation with the silver-haired girl.
If I use Return by Death, then I can speak to Emilia-tan sooner, and I won't make everyone see these tears. With that simple judgment and assessment of the problem, he fell back upon his familiar method of solving problems.
"Subaru?" Nan's voice broke into his mind as he sensed odd intentions coming from Subaru.
"It's alright, just keep quiet for a second," Subaru ordered him, while he used his contract to force the spirit into silence.
He gazed around at the others in the room. Rem and Beatrice were the only ones awake who could use healing magic, but if Subaru was able to conceal his injury for long enough then they would be unable to do anything.
Subaru carefully pushed his tongue through his teeth. He looked over at all the inhabitants of the room. They all seemed to be having an enjoyable time, speaking honestly and openly to one another. How would they feel if they watched him die?
They wouldn't care. He quickly asserted. Before he could think of anything else, dozens of images jumped into his mind as the second trial of the Sanctuary filled his mind. His own self-blame grew as the tears of the people he cared about poured onto his countless corpses.
Why? Why are you all crying? Subaru tried to force his jaws together but only succeeded in drawing a little bit of blood from his tongue. Once more his attempt at suicide was feeble. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't even die. The young man's remorse only increased and compounded as he realized that he was unable to kill himself.
I can't even use Return by Death. Why? Subaru could feel despair and helplessness coming from Nan's side of the contract. The little spirit was desperately trying to break out of Subaru's orders until eventually, he found a way around them.
With a plan in his mind, Nan made himself visible to Ram and hummed a discordant rhythm into the maid's ear. This was all in a desperate attempt to alert her to the plight that was currently crushing Subaru.
It started as a soft humming in Ram's ear, then it turned to a thumping as she felt something claw at her mind like it was trying to get in, desperately, but not maliciously. For a few seconds, she was able to shrug it off as Rem smiled at her.
The drunk blue-haired oni was exceptionally adorable in Ram's eyes. The warmth from the wine she was currently drinking filled her chest. But the sensation of wine and watching her sister's happy smile couldn't overcome the near scream that now filled her ear.
Only a few more seconds passed before Ram turned her head to see a small black orb floating above her shoulder. It was around the size of a marble, the center was a deep black so black it was like it didn't exist, and that void was framed by a soft purple glow that emanated from the spirit.
Barusu's spirit, what's happening? Ram's red eyes quickly jumped to where a satisfied-looking Emilia was resting on Subaru's leg. Though she didn't focus on that for long as she quickly noticed that tears were pouring from Subaru's eyes. Barusu…
Ram's pupils dropped to the floor for a second. Her goal of getting rid of that guilty look in Subaru's eyes had failed spectacularly. But that doesn't mean there isn't more I can do. A determined spark lit itself upon Ram's face.
"Hey Rem," Ram spoke to her red-faced sibling.
"Yesh sishter?" The blue-haired maid responded with slurred words.
"You might want to take a break from the drinking," Ram recommended and took hold of Rem's hand.
"Huh…" Rem was so confused that she couldn't even form a sentence, this was also partly because Ram had started to drag her by the hand over to where Emilia and Subaru were, so the blue oni had to focus entirely on her balance instead of speaking.
Ram easily navigated her sister over to Subaru and Emilia. Once there she guided Rem into a resting position and handed her to Emilia, who had stirred slightly. "Hold on to Rem for a second, Emilia-sama."
"Of course, ohhhh! She's so cuuuuute." Emilia gushed as she grabbed onto Rem.
"Now," Ram turned to the teary black-haired boy, "Get up, stupid Barusu." Ram sternly commanded the young boy.
Subaru barely noticed her, he was too trapped in his melancholic mind. "Never mind, I guess I'm dragging you." Ram grabbed onto Subaru's left arm, in between his elbow and shoulder, and hoisted him across the room with her oni strength.
She rapidly dragged herself and Subaru past the glass door and out onto the terrace. Ram carried him along the balcony so that they were out of the view of the inhabitants of the room.
When she had finally dragged him to where she wanted them to be Ram dropped Subaru onto the ground behind her. The black-haired boy landed in a position where he was sitting with his back against the cold brick of the mansion, and his face was pointed toward the starry sky.
After a short moment, Ram sat down next to him on his right.
The two sat in silence for a time. Their eyes pointed to the sky as they gazed at the stars, both bright and dim. It was one of the starriest nights Ram had ever seen.
Subaru's eyes traced the groups of stars. His lips moved quickly as he mouthed off odd words. Ram didn't know that they were names of constellations from Subaru's homeland.
As Ram continued to study Subaru's face she realized that he was so engrossed in the stars of the sky, and his regret, that he hadn't even noticed her. She shifted her gaze from his face and up to the sky above. Hundreds of brilliant lights glimmered in the night sky. Ram viewed them as beautiful, but she wasn't nearly as interested in them as Subaru appeared to be.
"What do you see up there, Barusu?" Ram's voice was clear and honest as she spoke, her insults momentarily left behind.
For a few moments, Subaru didn't respond only continued to watch that starry night. However, he did eventually respond; however, he didn't talk, instead, he simply raised his left hand to the sky.
He traced a group of stars. "I like to convince myself that that one is Cassiopeia, the Queen of Ethiopia." Then he pointed to a new group, "That one has a similar shape to Taurus, so I lie to myself and say that's what it is."
Finally, his eyes moved to a large cluster of stars that were in their own little collection, "Sometimes I'm even able to deceive myself into believing that one is Subaru." His tears returned, Ram didn't know it but he was thinking of his parents.
"Or, Pleiades, I guess." He switched to another name for the constellation to avoid confusion for Ram. Maybe another time she would have taken the fact that Subaru had a name translated from the word Pleiades, and linked it back to the Watchtower of her world.
But right now the emotions seizing the atmosphere around the two caused Ram to respond to his question without putting a hint of thought into it.
"Why do you have to deceive yourself, Barusu?" Ram asked him.
"They aren't the stars my parents named me for. They aren't the stars I loved. I'll never see those stars again, or the people that named me for them," Ram opened her mouth to reassure him and insult him, but Subaru spoke over her before she could.
"But I moved past that a long time ago, I know I'll never see them again, and I… I made peace with that, I faced that past." From what Ram gathered the wine that Subaru had drank earlier had not made him happy, instead, it had made him honest.
"Then why… do you look so regretful?" Ram desperately tried to think of a way to help Subaru, and she did focus a tiny bit of her mind on coming up with an insult.
"Because the people I wronged are gone, just like my parents." Subaru dropped the hand that he'd been using to trace the stars. "I have no way to apologize to them, not anymore, or I do, but..." He stopped speaking suddenly. As if he'd recalled into a horrible memory.
It took Ram a few seconds to process what she'd heard. "Well, then why do you feel like you need to apologize?"
"I… maybe it's because they all looked so… pained." Subaru let out a new wave of tears as he thought of the expressions they had all carried in the timeline he had left behind.
"Idiot doesn't even really know what he did." Ram insulted, but Subaru ignored the insult because Ram sounded so calming and so understanding. The oni reached over and softly rubbed the hair on the back of his head.
"Why were they all so sad? Why did you hate me? Why did you all hate me?" Ram could tell that Subaru wasn't talking to her; however, her judgment wasn't entirely correct. As Subaru asked his second question he thought of a pink-haired maid.
"I did something wrong, but what did I do?" Ram pulled Subaru's head into a resting position on her shoulder. His hair rubbed against the odd material of his jacket, which Ram was still wearing.
"Barusu," Subaru stopped speaking and waited for Ram to speak to him, "Maybe you did something wrong, something horribly wrong." If that was the case then Ram wanted to help him fix that in the future, but she knew that now was the time to reassure him, not break him down to change his mindset. It wouldn't accomplish anything right now.
"But did you do the best you could, the best you knew how to do?" Ram desperately tried to lace her words with insults, she couldn't let him get too high of an opinion of himself, but she couldn't come up with a single thing. She didn't regret that in the slightest.
"I did." For the first time since he'd woken up from that nightmare, his resolve returned. A smile slipped onto Ram's face, she didn't try to force a scowl. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Ram didn't want to lie right now.
"Then, for now, stop being an idiot, and do better with the people you care about in this very moment," Ram whispered down to him.
"I will." His resolve only continued to grow. He would do better this time and if he didn't know what he'd done wrong, then he would figure it out. And maybe there was never anything wrong with him, and it was Echidna's fault the whole time.
"But I listened to her," Subaru whispered to the empty air. Ram knew he wasn't addressing her so she let him think aloud.
So even if it's mostly Echidna's fault, I still listened to her. I'm not absent of responsibility, but I'll still do better for the people I care about now, just like Ram said.
The guilt fled from Subaru's face, and it returned to its calm, neutral state. His eyes were a mix of relaxed peace and glowing resolve.
Ram tilted her head slightly to the left so that as Subaru was resting his head on her shoulder she was resting her head on his own a little.
With a smile on her face, Subaru's warm jacket on her body, and love singing in her chest, Ram watched as the last of Puck's mana was released in a final brilliant snowfall.
Subaru gazed upon the same event, except he viewed it from behind Ram's hair which tumbled down over his eyes a little. Snow fell from the sky in one final descent.
With his will cemented he looked upon silver snow through pink hair, and let his eyelids drift closed, and dropped into the depths of sleep.
That night he slept a deep, peaceful sleep. Not a single dream haunted him.
Alright I hope you enjoyed that, anyway I'll be back in a little bit with another side story, then onto them sweet arc 3 interludes, and finally arc 4. That one is gonna be fun, anyway see ya in a bit.