Last batch of updates for this story! Song mentioned is "I Am Moana" from Moana. I saw the "Who You Are" Steven Universe Animatic a long time ago, and I thought it was really fitting. I didn't want to use the same song, though, so I looked through the songs to see if a different one would fit. Man, getting this to work was very difficult! XD I had to do research on some of what the gems said in the "I Am My Monster", and had to find a way to incorporate that into the song.
Monster watched as Mother and Tiny Thing ran into the house, yelling with excitement. It was to his great confusion when they returned moments later with the other pack members. Was there something important going on? He blinked as they conversed amongst themselves.
"Greg, are there any songs that you've shared with Steven that may have sentimental value to Twoie?" He watched curiously as Mother spoke with Long Fur. The male was holding some odd wood thing in his paws.
"There's a couple, so l guess I'll give it my best shot." Pretty sounds came from the wood thing, and Monster sat up straight. The noises sounded really familiar. "Bright sunny day, don't cost nothing. Light summer breeze, don't cost nothing." Monster remembered smiling and laughing as his father strummed a guitar on the beach. "What do I do with all this money when the only thing I want is you." They dashed into the house and met up with Blue Pelt, heading to the city. He discovered how much Blue Pelt missed her. That Pink had accidentally divided his family. How he had to fix it. He always had to fix things. "Palling around, don't cost nothing. Singing a song, don't cost nothing. How do I spend all this money? I'd rather just spend time with you." He watched Tiny Thing, Father, and Blue Pelt walk out of the house, not realizing that he wouldn't see them for a bit later on. Monster's heart ached as he saw Red Blue Pelt and Purple Pelt banging on a pink wall as he ran out of the house.
Monster growled and shook his head. The memory flooded his mind, filling him with a mix of joy and sorrow. He didn't like this. Whatever they were doing, he wanted them to stop. He bared his teeth at his pack. His father flinched as the corrupted half-gem arched his back, hissing furiously. "What's going on? Why did that happen?" Father watched him with concern.
"I don't know. Maybe it brought up a bad memory? What happened the day you sang that?" Mother tried to step forward, but Monster growled at her. She kept her distance as Tiny Thing turned to her.
"That was the day that Pearl, Dad, and I went to Empire City. Twoie insisted on staying home, and during the trip, we found out how much Pearl missed mom, and how she couldn't get over her choosing my dad." Blue Pelt winced as Tiny Thing rambled. "In the end, Pearl and Dad made up. When we came home the next morning, that was when we found out Twoie ran away."
Mother hummed in thought. "That day would definitely have bad memories then. We need a different song. Steven, do you have any songs that made you happy?" She knelt by his pack-sibling, placing her paw on his shoulder.
Tiny Thing shook his head. Mother looked at him sadly, as he explained. "When we sing songs, it's usually about something going on at the time. I think all of the songs I know have something bad that happened later on or were because of something that hurt us." Tiny Thing looked up at Monster. "Twoie, especially, never sang unless he was feeling really emotional. I don't think there is anything that won't bring up at least some bad memories."
The corrupted half-gem didn't like this at all. All they were talking about was pain and suffering. They were making him remember things that hurt. Things that he wished had stayed forgotten. He didn't like knowing how much his pack had hurt him. When Tiny Thing approached, Monster backed up a step. He remembered Tiny Thing smiling sadly at him as he stepped closer. Wind buffeted his brother, and Monster was overwhelmed by the feeling of fear. His brother wouldn't stay away, no matter what Monster told him. He gripped his head tightly. It felt like everything was caving in around him. He no longer saw his brother as a pink glow filled his vision. As the world blurred around him, heat burning through his veins until it coursed through his whole body. Until he could no longer contain it. Monster howled as he collapsed to the ground. He clawed at his head in the hopes that he could tear the memories right out of himself. The pink lashed out, and when his vision finally cleared, Tiny Thing was unconscious amongst several destroyed trees. Because he was a monster.
"Twoie! Twoie, stop! Please!" Several members of his pack rushed forward at Tiny Thing's shout. Monster just barely registered their attempts at trying to snap him out of his haze. He shrieked loudly and threw himself backward. Monster would only hurt them like he hurt his brother. He was dangerous. He was a monster. Monster blinked in surprise as tears welled in his eyes. Why did everything always hurt him? Why was nothing he did ever enough? He just wanted to lay on the sand and enjoy being with his pack. Was that too much to wish for?
He spun on his paws, intending to run, but froze when Mother stood in his path. "You can't keep running, Twoie!" She held her paws out in the air, even though she knew he could easily step over her. "I'm trying to help you! That's the only thing that we want! We want to help you!" Every fiber of Monster's being told him to run. That staying would end in more suffering. But Monster was tired of running. He was tired of the confusion. He wanted to know what was really going on. Who he really was. "I can tell that you regained some of your memories. And I bet it's confusing, and it hurts, but that's okay because we can help you get through it. We love you, Twoie. We want to help you remember."
Monster stared at her. He looked back at the rest of his family, fearfully waiting for his decision. He was scared, but Monster needed to know. The corrupted half-gem crooned sadly before turning back to Mother. She paused, as though making sure he wasn't going to run away. "Okay, Twoie. I need you to trust me. You have to believe me." She turned to Tiny Thing. "You said that you guys only sing when you're feeling strongly?" Tiny Thing nodded at her. "Please let this work…" Mother sighed but stood tall. "I know a boy from the future. He hides his pain in a shroud." She stepped closer to the corrupted half-gem, holding her hands to her chest. "He bears the world on his shoulders. He makes his whole family proud."
Monster's eyes widened. They were… proud of him? But he had caused so much trouble for his family. He had been a burden to all of them. That's why they left him. He flinched when Mother motioned for him to lower himself. Monster reluctantly laid down; he didn't trust himself not to hurt her or one of the others accidentally. She smiled and walked up to his snout. "Sometimes, the world seems against you. The journey may leave a scar, but scars can heal and reveal just who you are." Mother gently placed her hand on his muzzle. He made a soft noise of concern since she was so close to him, but she ignored it. He blinked in surprise as the others appeared in front of him. He realized they had walked up behind Mother while he was distracted. Monster made another noise of worry. They were too close. He could hurt all of them like this. The corrupted half-gem made to pull away but stopped when Mother hugged his muzzle. "The people you love will change you. The things you have learned will guide you." She broke away and smiled as she stepped back. Monster saw a little white butterfly land on his mother. More butterflies appeared, landing on each of his family members. "And nothing you've faced can silence, that quiet voice still inside you."
And he could hear it. What he thought was part of his instincts, telling him to go home, to follow Tiny Thing, to comfort his family, was now telling him that he was dangerous. That he needed to protect his family by leaving. More butterflies appeared, swarming around him. He could see so many different memories in their wings. "And when that voice starts to whisper, 'Twoie, you've gone too far.'" Mother's eyes narrowed at him in a glare. "I want you to think about every good thing you've ever done. I want you to remember how many people you've helped. How much you've sacrificed and how much you care about others. I want you to tell that voice to stop lying to you." She gestured to the rest of his family. "You've done so much for all of us. You're a hero, Twoie. Not a monster." Mother stared at him pleadingly. "I hope you hear me. Remember who you are."
Twoie. Monster sat up. That's right. His name wasn't Monster; it was Twoie. Tiny Thing had given him that name, but something was still missing. It wasn't enough to know what he was; Twoie needed to know who he was. He warbled questioningly at them. Mother turned to the others before facing him again. "You are the boy who loves Beach City." No, wait. Mother wasn't her name. It was Priyanka.
Tiny Thing, no, Steven smiled as he walked up beside her. "Who loves his friends and family."
Twoie could feel something stir in his heart. 'It calls me.'
One by one, the rest of his family joined Steven and Priyanka, standing side by side. Pearl tearfully smiled at him as she placed her hand on Steven's shoulder. "You do not need to hide yourself from us."
His father walked over, holding his hands over his chest as he looked at Twoie pleadingly. "Your family loves you, no matter what."
Peridot burst into tears as she stared at him. "You showed me how to be myself."
And the feeling blossomed into a mixture of heartache and love. He had made many mistakes. They had made many mistakes, but he loved his family. And they were doing their best to fix what they'd done. 'They call me.'
Garnet smiled as she took her glasses off. Twoie could see the love and pain in her eyes as she wiped a tear off her face. "You are always there when we need you."
Amethyst grinned while dragging Peridot and Steven into a group side hug. "You helped me love myself."
Bismuth and Lapis gestured to themselves. "And you helped us change our points of view."
Twoie could feel tears well up in his eyes. They really cared about him. They really would've missed him if he just disappeared one day. He never wanted to be alone, but he would've done anything if it meant his family would be safe. Yet here they were, doing whatever it took to make sure he was okay. And that meant everything to him. That voice inside his mind was screaming at him now. Pleading for him to concentrate. To focus. To remember everything. 'Yes, it calls me!'
He closed his eyes and thought back to that one day, years ago, when Garnet taught him about meditation. He needed to find his balance. To see his feelings clearly. Twoie took a deep breath and opened his eyes.
When he entered his mindscape, the corrupted half-gem expected to see the usual weirdly bright yet dark blue colored environment. What greeted him was a fragmented and shattered room. He was frightened by the cracks in the sky, the fissures covering the ground, and the darkness of the room. As he scoured the memories represented in the wings of the room's butterflies, he caught movement at his peripheral. He whipped around quickly, gasping in fright at the other version of himself that was somehow there with him. This Twoie resembled the human him, though."I see that you are confused." Twoie arched his spine in fear as the other version of him spoke. Its voice buzzed, screaming yet whispering. "I am the person that you wanted to be. I am Steven."
Twoie tried to speak, tried to ask questions, but only a growl sounded from himself. "You can't talk here. You are still a corrupted gem beast." Other Steven smiled sadly at Twoie. "I never thought I'd see you become this. You wanted the gems' attention so badly that you became dependent on it. And now that there was no other way to get it, you had to make them give it to you." Twoie growled. He didn't make the gems do anything! They all made their own decisions. Decisions that hurt him. "If that was the case, why did you drag it out for so long? Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Twoie tilted his head in confusion. Other Steven chuckled as he motioned for Twoie to sit. "This is your mindscape, Twoie. I know what you are saying because you want me to know. I am the version of you that you wanted to be."
Other Steven waved his hand, and a giant pink fractal appeared in the air. Then, an image became visible on the fractal. It was of Twoie, smiling and laughing with his father and the gems. It was a memory from when they were rebuilding the town after defeating Spinel. "This is what you wanted your whole life." Twoie flinched as the image reformed into a new one of him working with the gems at Little Homeschool. More images appeared alongside it, of him hanging out with his Dad during a tour of him asking Connie on a date, getting Jasper to leave the cave. "You could've had this if you had stopped being so selfish. If you had realized earlier that you were only hurting the people around you when you were trying to help." The images turned back to when he ignored Amethyst about GHEM, when he yelled at Pearl and Volleyball, and when Bluebird attacked his dad. "Instead, you tried to help in all of these situations because you selfishly wanted their attention." Twoie growled at Other Steven, baring his teeth as he smashed his claw through the fractal. He had never meant for those events to happen. And he never did them for attention. His mistake with GHEM was because he wanted to make things easier for the corrupted gems that were new to Earth. Scaring Volleyball was an accident because he was mad that he had to fix his mom's mistakes. And the last one wasn't even his fault! Twoie had more than made up for those mistakes, so how could Other Steven sit there and try to blame him for them?
"Then why do you blame yourself so harshly?" Other Steven glared, and butterflies started swarming around them. Twoie tried backing away, only to turn when several butterflies broke away and flew at him. He ducked underneath their attack. "Why do you hold yourself to such an impossible standard? You need to understand that part of the reason you corrupted was that you put that pressure on yourself." Twoie froze. He was right. Anyone else, and Twoie would've made excuse after excuse to comfort them for those mistakes. But Twoie blamed himself for every action he made. "Yes, your family hurt you. I know that it's hard to stand up for yourself, Twoie. However, you only hurt yourself further by blaming yourself for every bad thing that happened. You even admitted that it wasn't always your fault."
Other Steven smiled kindly at him. "I'm sorry that I sounded so harsh, but you needed to realize that on your own. You can ask for help when things get hard. It's not selfish to ask for help. And honestly, you probably should be a little more selfish. You sacrifice so much of yourself for everyone else. It's time to change that." Twoie eye's widened. Change. That was what started all of this. Things were changing back home, and Twoie was scared of being left behind. But change was also a good thing. If the gems hadn't changed, they would still be suffering under the Empire. If his mom hadn't changed, the Earth would be a gem colony, and all life would've been wiped out. After changing the Gem Empire, he thought he had changed for the worst. In reality, he had just made a couple of mistakes.
He wasn't a monster. He was Twoie, older brother of Steven Universe. He was Steven Universe, Savior of the Galaxy, and a member of the Crystal Gems. He was half-gem and half-human, and he didn't need to be ashamed of it. His body glowed brightly. Scales dissipated to reveal skin, horns and spines receded, and his body shrunk until he was his normal size again. Twoie knew who he was. "And the person I wanted to be, he's inside me! And though things change, that will not end my story." Other Steven flashed him a happy grin as he and the butterflies disappeared. As the mindscape began to repair itself, Twoie thought back to his family, waiting for him on the beach. "Together, the memories we make will remind me. That come what may, I know the way!" He knew now what he needed to do. And his family would be there to help him. The area finally fixed itself, and he looked down at a puddle that was next to him. He no longer had horns or spots. He looked human. And as he glowed again, signaling his mind's return to the real world, he grinned at his reflection. "I am Steven!"