*Authors Note: Today is a bitter sweet day. Alan Rickman, a wonderful actor, and part of my childhood (through Harry Potter) has died :( This is so so so sad, and I'm still waiting for someone to say, "Ha, just kidding!"... It's devastating :( On a positive note, however, today is the 5th anniversary of Ninjago! Yay! :D It's been a long and winding road, but we've come so far :) Anyways, on with the chapter! This one is a good one! ;) Enjoy :P*
Arriving at the monastery felt like something out of a dream. A paradise only few knew about. It was far away from Ninjago City, located in the depths of absolutely nowhere. It seemed to be in the middle of a completely different universe, resting in it's own version of reality.
The monastery was embedded in a rocky mountainside, the face of the building looking out on a vast forest full of greenery and life, a magical green spectacle to lay eyes on. At the feet of the building lay a small, peaceful village. The village seemed to be surrounded by a stucco-like wall, keeping unwanted things and people out of it's peaceful life. A single road lead up to this small settlement; a gorgeous drive.
The two boys had their faces pressed up against the car windows, looking up at the tall green trees, the flourish of flowers, the fluttering butterflies, and the sparkling creeks the seemed to posses the clearest water they had ever seen. In curiosity, Cole rolled down his window, and was met with the beautiful sounds of nature. Garmadon turned off the radio as they all rolled down their windows, silently enjoying the sounds nature produced.
They soon came upon the small town, and the sounds of nature morphed into the sounds of laughter and joy. Cole smiled as they drove by playing kids, barking dogs, and happy families. Zane looked down in his lap, not able to look at the happy families, without feeling a slight pang in his heart. The families were yet just another reminder of what he would never be able to have again.
The gates opened to the monastery as they approached them, and shut behind them once they were inside. Once Garmadon had parked the car, they all opened the door, stepping out onto the cobblestone ground and into their new, paradise home.
The humidity seemed to have vanished, and a cool, refreshing breeze came by, ruffling Cole's black long hair.
Zane looked at his new home. The stone building was grand and impressive, as was the rest of the place they were now living in. He had a hard time enjoying it, though. He couldn't enjoy the nature, or the small village, or the art that was the building; nothing was pleasing to the eye anymore. It wasn't beautiful or lovely. He could not find enjoyment in any of it, where at one time, he could have.
"Hey Zane, could you help with the bags for a second?" Cole said, pulling Zane out of his mindless thinking. Zane gave a solemn nod, and helped Cole with the bags in the trunk, pulling them out and setting them on the ground. Cole seemed to naturally have an easier time, thank to his superhuman strength, and so he lifted the heavier bags. Zane was pulling out the suitcases, when he glanced over at Cole.
Cole's muscles were flexed, as he grunted, heaving Garmadon's heavy suitcase out of the van. Zane looked down at the bags at the ground, feeling ashamed with himself. He had made Cole worry about him, had made his leader come along on a trip that was probably a hindrance to Cole. He was causing so many problems, he was making a scene and concerning his friends. Guilt washed over him, feeling the weight of being cared for falling hard on his shoulders.
"Welcome!" A man with blonde hair said, as he approached the newcomers and the van, "We're so glad to see you made it here safely."
Cole grimaced at this, as though the person didn't even know how lucky they were to have arrived safely. If Garmadon hadn't taken over the driving, there would have been a good chance they would have never made it.
"If you wouldn't mind following me, I'll show you around the monastery. You can bring your bags with you." The man said, beckoning them inside. They tugged their suitcases along with them, as they entered the building cut into the mountain.
Cole couldn't help but gaze in amazement at the art, and architecture, of the building. It was decorated elegantly with red and gold colors. Paintings of dragons adorned the walls, paper lanterns hung from the ceilings, and canvas sliding doors opened to balconies, of where one could enjoy some fresh air. The hallway floors were furnished with dark wood, differing from the bedrooms slightly, which had bamboo flooring. The canvas doors to the outside were all open, letting the cool breezes flow in and out as they pleased, making the peaceful house a comfortable living space.
"Reminds you of the old monastery we used to live in, doesn't it?" Cole whispered, leaning over to Zane, as the tour man guided them through the kitchen and dining room, all of which were located on the first level. Zane nodded in agreement. It did have a likeness to that of their old home. Therefor, they had an easier time growing a liking for it, rather than if they had showed up in a building without similar qualities.
The man guided them up the stairs, showing them to their rooms.
"Over here is where the Garmadons will be sleeping," The blonde man said, pointing to a room on the left side of the hallway upstairs. The two adults entered the room, smiling in contentment. The man then lead Cole and Zane down the hall to a room on the right, "And this will be your room."
The ninja gave their gratitude, and entered their new room.
It was a nice, decent sized room, with a wonderful homey feeling, just like the rest of the monastery possessed. Cole and Zane got their own bathroom, of which they would share. Two dressers were against one wall,a place for them to both separately put their things. A bunk bed was pushed against a wall. The mattress, when Cole sat on it, felt as heavenly as a mattress could feel. Cole's favorite feature was not the bed, even though they felt amazing. No, his favorite thing was the balcony.
The view was absolutely stunning, seeing as they were on the second floor of a monastery that had a small village below and a sprawling forest after that. They could see forests and nature and beauty for miles. They could hear the noises of the forest, they could watch the clouds go by; It was a breathtaking symphony of senses.
Cole didn't know where to start his adventuring first. The training dojo in the basement? A walk in the beautiful nature? An adventure through town?
Cole's eyes fell onto Zane, who was leaning on the black metal, ornate rail of the balcony, looking out into the blue sky. The breeze slightly ruffled his snow white hair, and he sighed softly, as he closed his eyes and inhaled. He looked so calm, so graceful; so flawless.
Cole's stomach flipped in a somersault, his head cold catching up to him once more, heat rising to his cheeks. He quickly looked away from Zane, who seemed to be causing the flashes as of late. For some reason, ever since the battle of the Overlord, ever since he had almost lost his brother, Cole had been experiencing a head cold. Every time he would see Zane, he would blush, and try to cover it up. He had gotten better at controlling himself, but he knew he couldn't pass it off as a head cold much longer. Colds were not triggered by only one person at random moments, that much he knew. The only problem was, he didn't know what was wrong with him.
His stomach did not cease in performing elaborate somersaults, almost as if they were trying to awaken his nasty car sickness once more. He knew he had to do something to settle himself down.
"Zane, I think I'm going to take a shower. I'm still feeling a little woozy. Are you going to be okay on your own for about ten minutes?" Cole asked, looking at Zane with a tiny bit of concern. He didn't want to leave Zane alone, but he had to take a shower. After all, he couldn't keep an eye on Zane all the time. Unless Zane showered with him, god forbid that would ever happen.
His stomach took a turn for the worse at that thought, and Cole didn't wait to see Zane's answer, which was a nod in confirmation that he would be okay. He ran to the bathroom with a speed only a ninja could posses, and slammed the door shut behind him. He needed to find out what was wrong with him. For now however, his main concern was to get a shower, and calm his unsettled stomach down.
Zane sighed as he was left alone, for the first time since yesterday evening. He sat down on the balcony floor, and put his head in his hands, massaging his temples.
The grief he was holding in his head was weighing him down, giving him a mental headache of sorts. He felt like closing his eyes, and never opening them again. Just to disappear. He had no meaning, no meaning whatsoever…
He shook his head. He told Cole he could handle being alone for ten minutes. Cole trusted him. He had to stop thinking things like such. He knew it caused mental instability.
But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help feeling as though all was lost, as if there wasn't anything left to fight for. He couldn't stop the thoughts of death, of grief, of sadness, of depression.
A bird landed on the railing above him, and he looked up, bringing his head up out of his hands. The bird chirped at him, cocked its head in curiosity. The being hopped a few times on the metal railing, before spreading it's wings and taking off quickly. Zane sighed, and rested his head back in his hands.
He was, in a way, jealous of that bird. It could fly, and keep flying, no matter what was going on around it. The bird could so easily decide it was done, and crash into the building. It would be so easy to just stop caring, stop trying. But the bird kept flying, never thinking for a second that crashing into a building was an option.
The bird was living. It was breathing. It was enjoying life, and it was life. A beating heart, a reason to exist.
Zane was just an abomination. He wasn't supposed to work. To move. To feel emotions, no less.
He wasn't supposed to exist.
His eyes stung, as the tears welled up and rolled down his cheeks once more, after a morning of not being able to cry. They flowed like the clear, sparkling creeks in the woods of their new home, landing on the balcony floor, tinting the concrete ground to a darker shade.
Was he even living? It didn't make sense to him. He wasn't living. He didn't have a heart, a beating heart. He wasn't alive. But how could he feel so alive when he was with his brothers, smiling in joy with them? How could he feel so alive, if he was not living to begin with?
He wanted to shut off his emotions so badly. He wanted them to disappear, so they couldn't plague him. Just a flip of a switch, and he would have the ability to feel nothing. Never be able to feel again, for as long as he wanted.
But that meant he wouldn't feel giddiness with Cole's antics. Or amusement from Kai's hot-hotheadedness. Or enjoyment with Jay's stupid inventions. Or joy in Lloyd's growth.
Zane began to quickly wipe his tears away when he heard the water from the shower turned off, indicating Cole was done with his shower. He could not let Cole see that he had been crying. He wanted Cole to trust him, to believe that he could be alone for at least ten minutes.
However, Zane could not hide his red eyes well enough, for when Cole came out of the bathroom with wet black hair, he immediately frowned.
"Zane…?" Cole said softly, worry plain in his voice. He sprinted over to Zane when the man did not answer, covering the distance between the bathroom and the balcony with only a couple long strides. Zane sniffled a little and rubbed his eyes, as Cole's arms wrapped around him, immediately covering him in safety. Zane cuddled into his brothers offered safety.
"Were you crying Zane? Are you okay, Tin Can?" Cole asked, holding his brother tight.
"I-I'll be okay." Zane stuttered through a sniffle, wiping his nose against his sleeve.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cole asked.
"No…" Zane said, closing his eyes in the comfort of his leader's embrace.
Cole frowned, knowing that Zane wasn't doing well. He tried to think of what he could do to make Zane feel better. Cole reflected back on what he knew about Zane, what his tendencies and mannerisms were. Whenever Zane was feeling down, back before his father had died, Zane would go out on walks by himself. He would always come back happier than when he left. That seemed like a good enough idea, to go out on a walk.
"How about we go on a walk, Zane." Cole suggested, as Zane snuggled deeper into his chest.
"I just want to stay here…" Zane mumbled, not wanting to move. Not wanting to do anything.
"Let's go for a walk. It will help, Zane." Cole insisted, unwrapping his arms from around Zane. The white haired ninja protested, but Cole would not cave in. He grabbed one of Zane's ice cold hands, and pulled him up off the floor. The "head cold" rushed forward as he held Zane's hand, Zane so close to Cole… Cole could feel batted breath leave Zane's mouth and brush against his, as he was forced to stand up against his will.
Flustered, Cole forgot to let go of Zane's hand. He stared into Zane's eyes, getting lost in the icy blues. Being so close, Cole could see the speckles of navy blue, of electric blue hues, that all came together to create a stunning, frosty blue. For Zane, the emerald orbs of Cole's were making Zane short circuit, as if his speech synapses were suddenly compromised. It was a fuzzy feeling, a feeling Zane didn't quite understand. His already muddled mind, full to the brim with sadness, felt confused at the programmed Dopamine release that was occurring.
"Okay. A walk." Zane said, the only words he could manage that made sense strung together. The two boys stared into each other's eyes, and for some reason, Cole felt the urge to lean forward.
"Lean forward and do what?! Why would I lean forward?" Cole yelled at himself, keeping his urge at bay. There was no reason to lean forward, there was nothing that would be accomplished in fulfilling his sudden desire to shift his body weight forward.
"Uh, um, I'll go get my shoes on." Cole stuttered, noticing that he had been holding Zane's hand for an unreasonably long time. He quickly let go of Zane's hand and ran off to find his gym shoes in their unpacked luggage, heat rising to his face in embarrassment. Zane was left behind in shock, not understanding what was going on with himself, or with Cole.
Zane blushed a little to himself, scolding his muddled mind as he thought of staring into those deep green eyes. He then shuddered and looked away from Cole's general direction, feeling as though something was very wrong with him. Something very foreign, that he was not used to.
Soon, they walked out the door of their room, and headed outside, for a nice refreshing walk through their new home.
A walk ended up being a good call, as the nature brought a small smile to Zane's face.
Zane had guided the walk, following whatever path he chose to take. At one point, they were walking in a direction based on which way the prettiest flowers were. At another point, they simply followed a butterfly. It really was an adventure, and Cole was yet again amazed by the uniqueness of Zane's mannerisms.
They were now resting, having found a nice, low-branched tree to perch in, pausing before heading back to the monastery for dinner. They gazed up at the green leaves together, of which were turning a pretty orange color due to the hue of the sunset.
"Hey Cole?" Zane asked, looking up at the branch above him, where Cole was. Cole was laying with his back up against the tree trunk, his eyes closed, and his mouth upturned in a smile at his contentedness.
"Hmm?" Cole said, his eyes still closed as he rested. Zane bit his lower lip, wondering if he should ask such a personal question, that had been bothering him deeply. However, it was too late for second guessing, seeing as how he already had grabbed Cole's attention.
"Am I… Alive?" Zane asked, hesitating before finishing his question. He looked up at Cole's branch, to see Cole looking right back at him, a slight surprise gracing his features.
"Are you alive?" Repeated Cole, sounding a little worried.
"Yes. Am I?" Zane asked, looking down in his lap in nervousness as to what Cole might say. There was quietness for a couple of seconds, as Cole thought his answer through.
"Well," Cole began, making Zane look back up at him, "I mean, it's up to you Zane. It really is up to you on whether you decide you're alive or not. I don't think anyone can really answer that question but you. That's your journey to figure out. But personally, in my own opinion… You are the most alive person I know."
Zane blushed and looked at his hands in his lap. He had never been called alive before. He had never been called lively, or of full of life. In fact, he was normally called dull, lifeless, and monotone. It gave him a short smile, it made him feel somewhat better, hearing his brother call him "alive".
"Thank you…" Zane whispered, a small smile still in bloom on his face.
"Sure. Now let's get back to the monastery. They're probably wondering where we are." Cole said, hopping down from his branch and landing without making a sound. Zane followed after him, with a slight brisk in his step, thanks to the refreshing walk, and to his friend, who viewed him as more alive than the bird who could keep on flying.
While they had been gone, Misako and Garmadon had cooked an amazing dinner, along with a large mess in the kitchen. After all, it had been a long time since they had done something together as a couple. Their organization and rhythm seemed to be a tad bit off.
"This is so good, Misako. Thank you so much." Cole groaned, as he stuffed his mouth full of yukon potatoes, seasoned with rosemary and thyme.
"Yes, I am in agreement. You have prepared a wonderful dinner." Zane said, nodding, before taking a perfect sized bite of shredded beef pot roast.
"God I missed our cooking, this is wonderful." Garmadon commented as he ate, his green beans the only things having not been touched on his plate.
"Thank you guys!" Misako said, smiling the biggest smile she had ever graced them with. She seemed genuinely happy from the happiness in the room, caused by the meal. She loved to cook, and to have her love expressed to the ones she cared about, through her cooking, was something she enjoyed.
Cole enjoyed being with all of them, eating dinner and talking. Like their own little family, away from their bigger family. Zane seemed to be in a good mood, smiling softly and emitting small laughter along with the sarcastic, witty jokes Garmadon kept telling. Cole loved the way Zane smiled. How it made his icy blue eyes twinkled in delight, in happiness. His laugh was so content and so himself. The way when he was laughing hard enough, he would close his eyes from his wide, happy smile as he did so. He was so cute in those ways. Zane was cute…
"Wait, what?" Cole said to himself as he froze. His mind buzzed like an angry swarm of bees, agitated at the prodding thinker. It was a shock to find himself thinking like this, to catch himself in thoughts that he never thought he would think of.
And it was then that he noticed he had been thinking such thoughts, the same time of which his head cold had started.
A fork fell loudly onto a plate, making Zane jump in surprise. He looked over to find Cole, completely paralyzed, his mouth slack into a perfect, shocked "o".
"Cole? Are you okay?" Zane asked in concern. Cole slowly turned to Zane, his eyes wide with what seemed like fright. Cole stared into Zane's eyes, now understanding the allure of them and why they entranced so much. Those beautiful, concerned eyes looked back into his. Cole's gaze slightly moved downward, locking onto a feature of Zane's that made the leader's heart light, soft baby pink lips were opened slightly, the ninja's frosty exhale curling out of his mouth and around his lips with each breath.
"Lean in, Lean in!" Cole's mind had been screaming, only hours ago.
Oh. Oh.
This was no head cold.
Cute. He thought Zane was cute.
Cole shot out of his chair, making a disturbance among the things on the table.
"I have to excuse myself." Cole managed to get out, before running up the stairs, taking three steps at a time. He ran to their room, and locked himself inside the bathroom, instantly turning on the faucet to the coldest it could go. He splashed his face harshly with the cold water, but it did not help. The heat in his cheeks could not go away.
This was no head cold.
Blushing in every hug. Blushing when those beautiful icy eyes looked into his with concern. Losing track of time as he held Zane's hand. Having the best sleep he had had in years, a sleep rid of nightmares, sleeping with Zane the night before. Feeling as though he had to go with Zane to this monastery. Wanting to be there to take care of him and watch over him. Feeling happy that Zane needed him. Feeling flushed as he helped Zane out of his pants, his mind wandering… Wandering…
He shuddered. How could he? How could he go and ruin their friendship like this?
How could this have happened without him noticing?
This was no head cold.
Cole was falling in love with Zane Julien.
*Author: Yay, finally! :D I know you guys were waiting for this moment! Ta-da! :D*