Numair watched Daine across the campfire, studying the way her lips parted in concentration, and the way the spring breeze twisted her curls. It was ridiculous to be jealous of an animal, but he couldn't help the surge of envy he felt when she laughed at something while conversing with the fox curled in her lap. Nothing he said could ever garner the attention she gave to healing one of the people.

He had come very close to confessing to Daine in the first few weeks after the fall of the barrier. He was losing his resolve. He thought time would make it easier, but it was only getting more difficult. She had been his best friend for years now. He wasn't used to hiding things from her, and certainly not things as monumental as this. Carthak had taught him that secrets had no place in their relationship. Yet, here he was, faced with the biggest discovery of his life, and he couldn't share it with her.

Truth be told, he had lost his resolve once, when she had been delusional with fever. He hadn't been able to keep it in... but he knew he couldn't let that happen again.


"Numair, you are being utterly ridiculous...she is fine, go get some sleep." The lioness' voice was clipped and irritated. She hadn't been pleased that he had woken her in the middle of the night to come to the healer's wing for this. The purple fire of her magic searched the girl on the cot for the fourth time in two days. "Nothing has changed." Alanna's magic retreated back into her as she stood to walk to the door. "It's just as Duke Baird and I have told you over and over..." she sighed. "She will be fine. She just has a fever."

"She keeps calling out for me..." Numair's voice was hoarse, and the redhead paused with her hand on the door. "She was crying for her mother at first, but now she just keeps saying my name." His voice cracked, and he choked back the sob that threatened to break loose. His eyes never left the young woman lying on the cot before him. He ran his fingers through her smoky brown curls. They were damp with sweat, plastering ringlets to her flushed face. He whispered reassurances as she fought against the heavy pile of blankets that confined her to the bed. A small hand gripped his shoulder.

"It's just a fever Numair" Alanna repeated, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. All trace of irritation was gone from her voice. "its high enough to make her delirious, but it's not really doing any harm." She knelt beside the mage, and had to tilt her head up to meet his gaze, despite the fact that he himself was sitting. "She's probably having nightmares Arram, but when she awakes, she won't remember any of this." She brushed the hair back from his face. He had failed to tie it back the last two days. "She will be back to you soon Arram. Stay with her if you must, but try not to agonize over this" she sighed. "Daine would call you a dolt you know." She smiled, squeezing his hand and standing.

He heard the door click shut behind him as Alanna returned to her bed. He didn't move. Despite the reassurances of the Lioness, and over half the palace healers, he didn't think he would be able to sleep until the fever broke. He couldn't rest until he was sure that there wouldn't be any lasting damage. He wished he had been more insistent that she stay in Corus. He wished he had been able to deter her when she agreed to try to heal the unicorns with her magic. "oh magelet..." he clasped her small hand in both of his, and pressed it to his lips. She stared at him, her blue-grey eyes unfocused. He wondered if Alanna was right, and if she truly wouldn't remember any of this.

"I love you magelet..." he grazed his thumb across her hairline, tracing the line of her face. "Not in the way I loved you when we first met. Not in the way I love our friends. Not in the way I love Tortall..." He kissed her palm again, twining his fingers with hers. "I love you. In the way that you are my very first thought every morning. In the way that you are my last thought every night. In the way that I want to be with you every moment of every day, and I ache when we are apart. In the way that I want to know everything about you, good and bad. In the way that when you hurt, I hurt." The tears began to fall. "In the way that when you are happy, I am happy...and in the way that I would do anything to make you so." His thumb grazed her cheek, and he leaned down so their foreheads touched, closing his eyes. "I love you in the forever way magelet. Endlessly, eternally, permanently...always."

He felt her fingers twining in the opening of his tunic...and he leaned back to meet her gaze. Her eyes struggled to focus, glazed, but there was a hint of recognition in their depths. "Numair?" Her voice was raspy with fever, but he heard the question in her serious tone. For a moment he was terrified, and exhilarated, that she was coherent. "Why is your hair blue?"

He laughed, choking back a sob at the same time...she was still delirious. "Shh sweet," he said, kissing her forehead. "Go back to sleep my love." Her fingers reached up and tangled in his hair and she frowned, pulling softly. "Don't worry sweetling, it won't be blue in the morning" he whispered. She seemed satisfied with that answer, her eyelids flickering shut, and her hand dropping from his hair, though her other still gripped a fistful of his tunic. He gently untangled the small hand from his tunic, and brushed the now drying curls back from her face...suddenly getting an idea.


The flames flickered, casting shadows across Daine's face. She laughed again, bidding farewell to the fox as he disappeared into the underbrush. She looked up, meeting his gaze and smiling, before wandering to her bedroll. He heard her call a soft goodnight, but he didn't move, afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself if he got so close now. She had only laid his roll three feet from her own.

His fingers fiddled with the object on his wrist. He waited until he heard her breathing steady into sleep before making it visible, and sliding into his bedroll. His thumb grazed the smoky brown curl tucked into the locket's fold. His gaze drifted from the miniature portrait to the identical face lying across from him. I love you, he thought. "Always..." he whispered.