A/N: This was the first fanfiction I ever wrote - and it shows. So I've tried to leave it as it was except for a few tiny bits of correction/clarification.

*Note to all: This year. THIS YEAR (2021) will be the year that I start working on Births and Deaths again. Thank you for your unending patience.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

-0-

When Harry woke up he wasn't really sure where he was. His hand searched for his glasses on the bedside table and once he'd put them on and recognised his surrounds, everything became a little clearer. And all at once, it came rushing back. He squeezed his eyes shut as he replayed the last year of his life. He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to see Remus and Tonks, he didn't want to see Fred. He didn't want to see Hedwig falling from the sky. He tried to scrub the tears away as he saw Dobby die and felt him, heavy in his arms. He let out a sob at the thought of Severus and broke down completely when Albus Dumbledore's face swam into his memories.

He curled up, pulling the dusty covers atop of him and sobbed into the pillow.

-0-

Minerva McGonagall was known to be a strong woman. She had been strong her entire life. Now, though, everything had piled up in her heart and it was so heavy that it took her breath away. As she traversed the broken corridors of their once-perfect castle, she thought of all the people that had died within her lifetime. Three wars meant for an excess of death and she sighed as she thought about all the losses.

So few people she knew had ever made it to old age. So few people had reached their full potential and to an educator like herself, that was perhaps the biggest crime of all.

The death of Lily Potter had hit her especially hard.

She'd adored Lily, just as she adored Lily's son, Harry. An unbidden tear ran down Minerva's face as she thought of him. He was the reason she was wandering the halls despondently. She'd been in The Great Hall, she'd walked among the dead, searching for his face. She'd paid her respects to those she had been close to. She'd brushed the hair from Remus' cold face; the last of The Marauders but more importantly, the loss of a good man. She had shared a quiet moment with George Weasley. They had sat together, next to his twin holding hands. Another of her boy's, gone.

As she walked, she flexed her hand where he had gripped her's tight. Harry hadn't been there like she thought he would be. Ron, Hermione and Ginny; three of the four she had expected.

No Harry.

She walked to the infirmary, wondering if he had been injured in some way. It only occurred to her as she walked through the doors that she was now Commander in Chief. It was her duty to check everything was running smoothly and to organise something if it wasn't. It didn't matter that he was nowhere to be found. It didn't matter that she wanted nothing to do with it all. That was her task and she would have to do it, even as she searched for him.

And still, she could not find him. She had known the child his entire life. She'd come to understand him perhaps better than he understood himself. She knew he would withdraw, she knew he would allow everyone else to seek healing before he did. He always put everyone else first, and himself last.

It was the way of saviours.

But these were not normal times. Perhaps he had been gravely injured and had not been able to refuse treatment. And so, she searched. She nodded to those who could speak, to those who greeted her happily. She paid her respects to those that she knew might not make it. She held a few hands and pressed bandages where they were needed. She flicked a piece of hair that had escaped from her uncharacteristically messy bun as she perused the other patients before her. So many of them she had taught. So many were so young, and more than a few, she noted, would not make it for much longer. Poppy Pomfrey bustled here and there, comforting people, healing people as was her way. She was one of a handful of healers; some she knew, others she didn't. Poppy, though, was so caught up in her work she only noticed Minerva as she turned to leave, satisfied that Harry was not among the injured. Poppy finished what she was doing and then rushed to her, enveloping her in a hug.

"Oh Minerva," Poppy said thankfully.

They hugged for a moment before parting. If it shocked the people around her that Minerva could show affection, nobody mentioned it. Minerva smiled gratefully at Poppy. They had been friends since school and even now Poppy could always tell what she was thinking.

"He's not here Minerva," she said quietly as they looked around. Minerva nodded and patted Poppy's arm, before leaving her to get back to her work.

"Thank you, my friend," Minerva looked around again. "Let me know if there's anything you need."

"We have supplies and more nurses coming in from St. Mungo's in ten minutes. We'll be fine. They're calling everyone in."

Minerva nodded and took her leave. She wandered the halls once more, racking her brains for anywhere that Harry might go. As she passed a portrait in the hall she stopped and backtracked three steps. As she stared at it, she realised how stupid she'd been.

"Oh Minerva, you really are an idiot," she said to herself shaking her head before turning and walking quickly in the opposite direction.

The proud lion sitting on the pedestal let out a roar and the other portraits around him smiled.

-0-

The Fat Lady saw Minerva coming and swung outwards before she'd even had to say anything. The common room was empty, but not too badly damaged. Most of the fighting had been in the lower levels. She ran her hand over the back of the worn sofas.

Everyone would be with their families, of course.

She raced up the stairs and into the boy's dormitory and there he was. A lump under the covers, in the bed that had been his at one time or another, sobbing hysterically. Her heart broke and she rushed forward onto the bed and over to him with an ease that was surprising for one not so young. She muttered his name as she pulled back the sheets and ran her hand through his hair so she did not startle him. His tears did not wane and she lay beside him, giving him comfort where she could.

Harry felt the bed dip as someone got on it, but he didn't care. He couldn't care. His entire existence was comprised of painful memories storming around his head like a thunderstorm. He felt a hand in his hair, and then a thumb wiped away his tears. He knew it wasn't Hermione and it certainly wouldn't be Ron. Mrs Weasley would be louder, and so unable to place who it might be, he looked up finally.

His eyes bugged as they met the stranger's, only to find it was not a stranger at all. He simply could not believe who was smiling down at him. He took a deep breath, feeling it wobble in his chest as forced himself to stop crying and studied the person watching him.

"Pr, Professor?"

"Harry," was all she said before she opened her arms and he flung himself into them.

The force of him knocked them backwards and he cried into her shoulder as her arms encircled him. Knowing it would not be long before her own grief finally caught up with her, she sent a Patronus to the portrait outside the Gryffindor common room requesting nobody be admitted until she had given the all-clear. She then sent one to each of the Heads of Departments that had been set up throughout the castle; that she would be unavailable until further notice. She made sure to mention that Harry had been found but was not to be disturbed before she dropped her wand on the bed beside them. She ignored the pang of discomfort at leaving so many to fend for themselves and instead Minerva McGonagall held Harry tightly and ran her hand through his hair as he sobbed.

"I'm here, Harry."

As so often happened when listening to a child cry, Minerva felt all the emotion and the pain that she had kept a tight grasp on finally break free. She cried for the first time in nearly two years. Her sobs eventually must have pierced Harry's devastation and she felt his crying ease as he realised his teacher was crying as well.

Harry didn't need to wonder why she was crying. She had been so strong; a beacon in the darkness for so very long. She had stood up for them as much as she could. She had worked tirelessly to thwart the evil that they had been fighting. She had told them off when it was needed and had supported them when perhaps she should not have. Minerva McGonagall had been there for Harry perhaps more so than any other adult in his life.

And Harry knew, that of all the people that had lost Dumbledore, she was the one that had felt his loss as keenly as Harry.

"I'm so sorry Professor," Harry said, feeling the shame of being the cause of so many things that had happened to so many people.

The Boy Who Lived. People had called him special all his life, but he was nothing. He had caused so much death and destruction, just by being alive. Professor McGonagall stopped crying immediately and looked down at him. She held him so gently, but he refused to look at her. He knew he had caused pain, he did not need to see it as well.

"Harry," she croaked before clearing her throat and repeating herself, a little more forcefully. "Harry look at me please."

Harry pulled away from her and Minerva let him. He sat cross-legged on the bed, staring at his tattered socks. She regretted her harsh tone immediately and sighed as she tried to sit up. The adrenaline of the battle and the aftermath of the injuries she had sustained during the year made themselves known and she realised she had no energy left to even sit up. She turned, resting her head on her hand as she watched the young man in front of her do everything he could to avoid her eyes. She reached forward and placed a hand on his arm, moving her head into his eye line. Catching his gaze she smiled. His eyes betrayed his thoughts and she made a mental note to smile at him more often.

"Harry, did you kill all those people?" she asked gently. He looked at her, shocked that she could talk about their friends like that. "Well did you?" she asked again. He shook his head.

"No, but -"

"Ah," she said, cutting him off. "No 'but anything'. Voldemort did this, Harry, Voldemort and Bellatrix and the Carrow twins and Greyback and countless other names that I will not spoil this moment with. They did this Harry. Only them," she slid her hand down his arm and held his hand, half expecting him to shrug it off.

"But if I'd have gotten him sooner," he whispered. "None of them would have died."

"You can't know that, sweetheart," Minerva replied. "All this happened in a way that it had to be. It had to be like this, or else someone different would have taken his place. Someone we wouldn't have understood, someone Albus could not have predicted." At the mention of Dumbledore's name, she felt him tense up and she sighed, feeling the loss as well. "I loved him you know," she said in barely a whisper. She let it sit and looked up at Harry, surprised that he didn't look all that surprised.

"It wasn't that hard to see Professor," he said, his eyes twinkling for the first time in a long time. She stared and then felt a laugh bubbling up in her chest. She let it out, slapping his arm gently for his cheek. The same twinkle in his father and godfather's eyes shone through his and before she knew it he flung a pillow at her. It slapped her chest and, as they were want to tod, exploded into feathers suddenly, covering her completely.

"HARRY!"

She grabbed her own and made a show of trying to get him back, but he did not give her any of the same. There were pillows flying everywhere as they laughed, almost hysterically, between the clouds of pure white feathers.

"Enough," she said with a laugh that pulled at her side. "Enough. I'm not as young as I once was."

He laughed and flopped down beside her, causing the feathers to fly into the air again. She smiled at him and waved her hand, shooing them all to the floor and leaving them laying beside each other, giggling now and then as they calmed. He matched the smile, the feeling reflected in his eyes. She tenderly stroked the hair back off his face. His eyes closed seemingly against his will and she rolled, watching him as she traced his features.

"I used to visit you, you know," she said as her hand rested on his cheek. "I'd sit for hours watching you. I begged Albus to let you come with me, but he refused every time saying that you were safer with them than you would be with me."

The smile fell from his face and he took a deep breath. His eyes found hers and he spoke.

"Blood wards." The look of understanding on her face was one of both sorrow and anger, but he didn't let her feel it for long. He pondered why she would tell him, now. He had once prided himself on how well he had known both Dumbledore and McGonagall, but the older he got, the more he realised that he hadn't known either of them at all. "I never saw you?" he muttered, looking away.

He remembered sitting in the back garden or up in a tree, away from Dudley and his gang. Childhood had been so lonely for Harry that it still hurt, deep inside his chest. He wished she'd shown herself or pushed harder to take him away from there. He knew now, why Dumbledore wouldn't, but a day, an hour would have made all the difference.

"Yes you did," she replied, breaking through his thoughts. He frowned at her, noting how her eyes sparkled like she was telling a joke.

Harry just looked at her confused. She smiled and disappeared into the bed covers. He stared at the rumpled sheet where she lay until his eyes widened. There on the bed was a spider. His brows crinkled in confusion. Professor McGonagall's Animagus was a cat, everyone knew that.

The spider ran from the sheet into his hand and sat contentedly just looking at him with all eight of those bright green eyes. Jumping back onto the bed from his hand Minerva changed back to her usual form and smiled at Harry's shocked face. It was then that he realised.

"The spider from my cupboard?" he gaped. "But, I thought you could only be one Animagus?"

She chuckled at this.

"Mr Potter, I am the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's Transfiguration professor and have been so, before even your parents were a twinkle in their parent's eye. You don't think I'd let Albus Dumbledore keep me away from my honorary grandson do you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked shyly. She pulled him closer into a hug, before pulling back a little to stoke his forehead.

"Your mother was a beautiful young woman. Not just pretty," Minerva chuckled. "But a beautiful person. I have never had children, as you might have guessed," she chuckled. "A hundred, thousand students were more than enough for me to fill that gap in my life. Until Lily. We grew close, not unlike Hermione and me, now. When she left school, we kept in touch, writing letters almost every week. I attended your mother's birthdays, your father's as well. I sat in the seat designated for her mother when they married. Your grandmother was not particularly close to her by the time she was in her twenties. And then, when she had you, she invited me to St. Mungo's. They'd already picked out your godfather, but once I had you in my arms, everyone knew it didn't matter if I had a title. I would protect you until the day I died. Lily knew, as soon as she saw us together." Minerva smiled gently, running her hands into his hair. "Oh, she and I had such plans for you. Your father never really did get over the fact that we were close," she chuckled. "He'd jump when I spoke sometimes. I had good fun with that."

Harry was charmed at the secret life that his parents had had with this woman. Though he was glad to hear of it, he wished more than anything he could have experienced it with them.

"He used to call me Granny," she muttered wistfully. "And nobody ever corrected him. Lily, and I, were charmed."

"You're not lying, are you?"

Minerva faltered at this, not sure how he would react. They'd known each other for seven years now and she'd never once mentioned this before. She shook her head silently and waited for him to say something.

"It was you that screamed wasn't it?" he whispered as they lay there on the bed together. "When you thought I was dead, you screamed."

"I thought I'd lost you," she said, feeling the horrific emptiness in her chest at the thought. She reached over and clutched his hand. "I thought I'd lost you before I got to tell you that I have loved you since the day your mother told me she was expecting." A tear rolled down her face, and she noticed a few rolled down Harry's face too. For a long moment, they stared at each other. It was Harry that broke first, he reached forward and gripped her in a fierce hug. They both had tears falling down their faces as they entered into a silent agreement to never let this connection fade again.

No more words were spoken for a while as they lay together, taking comfort from one another. After their tears dried and they lay in the silence, Harry realised that he was wrapped up in his 'grandmother's' arms and he sighed contentedly, thinking about life.

"Professor?" he asked quietly. She clicked her tongue at him,

"Harry, surely you can call me by my first name at least," she said with a smile in her voice. He thought about it for a moment.

"Minerva," he turned up his nose. "Granny?" he said tentatively, feeling a little weird but quite certain that he didn't really want to call her anything else. She pulled away, looking into his face. She smiled before placing a kiss on his forehead.

"You make me very happy Harry," she whispered, her eyes twinkling.

"What do I do now?" Harry asked quietly after he settled back down in her arms. She made no move to answer it, sensing that he had not finished talking. "My whole purpose on this earth was to get rid of Voldemort. Now he's gone," he shrugged and looked up at her. "What do I do?"

Minerva sighed at this. She and the other teachers had tried their whole lives to prepare their students for a life after school, but with Harry, it was obviously a little different. Ultimately, he was right. They really hadn't had the opportunity to teach him about life, yet. He'd been too busy trying to save their lives than learn about his own. Even though she didn't want to admit it to herself, Minerva knew that they perhaps hadn't tried as much as they could, in case he never made it. they didn't want him to be just another name on a plaque to be forgotten, but they equally were too afraid that he might be. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked down at him.

"Harry, you can be anything you want to be. And, whatever you choose to do, or be, I will be there for you. Me and all of your friends. We will support you and help you through it, no matter what."

"It just seems so pointless," he said into her chest. She stroked the back of his head gently,

"For once, Harry, stop worrying about the future. You do not have to have an answer for this. In fact, for the first time in your life, the world is hopeful, not hopeless. The reason for that, my darling boy, is you." They stared at each other for a while before she sighed and kissed his forehead again. "You are allowed to not know anything right now. And you are allowed to find that something slowly, steadily and at your own pace. Do not worry about it at this moment. This moment, right here," she muttered, nudging his nose with her own. "is for healing."

He nodded and sighed, looking a little lighter at that, but Minerva knew she could not stay much longer.

"I have to go and make sure everything is still running smoothly."

The headmistress in her was ready to go and do her duty, but the maternal side of her was already feeling the loss of this moment. He nodded though, understanding.

"Harry," she said before pausing again. "Harry, if you wish, you're more than welcome to come and stay with me." His eyebrows shot up into his hair as he stared.

"Here?" he said, not really understanding. She laughed.

"No." She looked around sadly. "It will be a while before anyone can stay here. I mean at McGonagall Manor, at my home." Realisation dawned on Harry as he understood what she was offering. "Your friends will always be welcome, any time you wish. But, I would love it if you stayed with me for even a little while and maybe -"

"I'd love to," he said, cutting her off.

"Well alright then," she chuckled.

She smiled and let him out of her arms. He got up off the bed almost jovially and stood looking at her for a long while. She tilted her head and gave him one of her trademark stares.

"Mr Potter?" she said a tone of amusement in her voice.

"I like this side of you," he said, honesty shining out of his eyes, "I mean, I liked you as a teacher, you were our favourite after," he trailed off as he thought of Dumbledore and she smiled softly in understanding. "Well, you're pretty much everybody's favourite, even though you give us WAY too much homework. But," she laughed, shaking her head. "No one ever gets to see this side of you, and I think they'd love you more if you showed them every now and then," He finished quickly, unsure of himself a little.

Minerva pursed her lips together, trying not to smile,

"But then what would I keep for you?" she said unable to keep the happiness from her face.

"As long as you promise to always be my grandmother, I'm happy to share you with your students, only every now and then though. I wouldn't want the trademark Professor McGonagall to lose her edge."

She laughed at the thought.

"Come on Harry, help an old woman up." He gripped her hand and helped pull her up and once she was standing didn't release it. She looked at him for a long time and recognised the resolute look in his eyes. "You sure?"

Harry nodded and they left the common room together, hand in hand; taking comfort even in such a small gesture. Harry watched her as they walked and noticed that even after everything that had happened today she looked younger. A light had come into her eyes and she was standing taller than he'd ever seen her. She was back to being Professor McGonagall, but when she caught him staring she winked at him and smiled. He realised, for the first time, that she'd been hurting just like he had.

This whole time she'd been mourning for the family that he'd never had the chance to know. She had known them, had been in that family and it hurt him to imagine having all that and having it taken away. He squeezed her hand, causing her to stop and look at him questioningly. He hadn't realised that she'd been there, this whole time, looking out for him. More often than not she'd be first on the scene and as time after time popped into his memory, it warmed his heart. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"You were always there for me, you were always part of my family," he whispered into her ear. It wasn't a question or even a statement. It was an affirmation. Harry needed her to know that he knew it and it was appreciated. She sighed and wrapped her arm around his broad shoulders. He wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked down the empty, damaged corridor heading back to the real world.

That world didn't seem so dark now they had each other. And, they would rebuild it, piece by piece; as a family.