Ace is driving me to the nearest hospital for an evaluation. There is no music. Just the sound of the tires on the road. Ace is concentrated but controlled. He acts like he has been in this situation before. My body can't stop shaking. I try to grasp on to any thoughts, any feelings, any words to say. Alas, silence is all I have. I wish momentarily for the ability to cry. I wish sobs would rack my body, I wish tears would consume me, I wish I felt anything, anything at all.

We stop at a red light and I imagine leaping out of the car right here. I could just leave. Leave this life I have spiraled into. Start over. Start over in a life where Jack never existed. A life where Christian never existed. A life where I never existed. I quickly derail that train of thought before I take it further.

"Ana, we are approaching the hospital. There is an advocate waiting for you," Ace turns to face me and gather my reaction.

"An advocate?"

"Yes a sexual assault advocate, it will make the process easier. I promise," his voice rings with sincerity like he's never told a lie in his life. I want to resist and tell him I really don't need one. That this isn't that big of a deal. This is a big deal though.

"Thank you," I whisper.

We arrive and a woman is waiting for me right outside. She is standing like a statue in the entryway. Long cascading brown hair falling past her shoulders in thick curls. She is dressed business casual with a suitcase. She looks like a lawyer. She opens my passenger door and holds out her hand.

"Hello Ana, my name is Iris" her voice is soothing and gentle. It makes me feel comforted.

"Hi, Iris" I don't look up to meet her eyes. I am too nervous and too fearful.

Iris ushers me away from the main entrance to a side entrance around the corner. Her hand is grasped with mine firmly. She doesn't pressure me to talk about anything or ask any questions.

"Ana this will be difficult. Let me know if anything becomes too much. We can leave at any time. I promise though, through it all I will be here-at least if you want me to be," she looks at me waiting for an answer.

I look up at her to nod. I meet her eyes. Dark blue with golden brown swirls bursting from the center. Her eyes hold depth and wisdom and mesmerize me. Her cheeks are dotted with freckles. She smiles at me, she's trying to reassure me.

"You'll get through this," she holds my hand close to her. I would usually feel overwhelmed by so much outward affection, however, I feel desperate for this kind woman to not leave me right now.

The evidence collecting procedure and statement are miserable. Doctors and nurses crowded around me. The reality of what happened to me covered up in cold medical terminology. Iris holds my hand the whole time. She distracts me in light conversation. I find this especially helpful through the pelvic examination. Everyone leaves the room afterward leaving me alone with Iris.

"You've done so good Ana, would you like me to explain the next steps?" I put my head in my hands in defeat. I am full of information and finished with the day. I don't want there to be more steps.

"There's more?"

"Yes, the doctor will come back. She will ask you if you want to know everything they observed,"

"I can choose not to know?" the thought brings comfort to me. If I could stay oblivious just a little bit longer…

"Yes, it's all up to you. We can have everything sent to your lawyer instead. You can wait a few days to talk with them,"

"I think I want that option, for now,"

"I completely understand,"

The next steps go just as Iris described. I decline information from the doctor. She hands me some pills to take for pain and we head out. I become increasingly anxious. Everything crashes down on me at once. I finally can pinpoint what I feel. Shame. Absolute shame for being so fucking stupid. I trust any man who walks into my life. I didn't even question Jack, I just trusted him. Christian had been right about how naive I am. How much danger I can just put myself into. I felt strong and powerful when I started this job. I felt like I could make any decisions I wanted to. I wanted to go to this event. It's been a dream of mine. I scream loudly collapsing on the sidewalk. Iris leans down rubbing my back.

"How could I be so stupid!?" I scream again, hands hitting the sidewalk.

I can finally will my body to cry. My skin is crawling. I want to scrub every inch of myself until my skin is raw. I want to scrub every part of Jack off of me. I am kneeling on a cold sidewalk in the middle of the night I feel so fucking broken, in every way. How did I get here? How did my life just evaporate before me? All of it, all at once. I know this is my fault. I have no one to blame but myself. I had been warned by everyone Jack was not good company. Iris is holding me, she just lets me cry. Pain is ripping through my chest. I feel a burning fire through my whole body. My chest feels like it's caving in. I scream until my throat hurts, I scream until my abs are sore. I feel small and worthless. I send a silent prayer to just let my life end right now. I can't do this anymore.

Iris's phone rings. Fear floods me as her hands leave me. She is my only support right now.

"Yeah, I'll ask her first. Give us a moment please" she eyes me, waiting for a break in my cries to ask me a question. I compose myself for a few seconds.

"Ana, if you are comfortable with it. I was wondering if you want to stay the night with me and Ace," I am distracted by her mention of Ace.

"You live with Ace?" I manage through sniffled sobs.

"Yes, we're just roommates though" she laughs.

"I guess that is the best idea as I don't have anywhere else to go to momentarily," I slowly gather myself off the ground. I know I need to be somewhere else. I am pretty sure I just survived the worst moments of my entire life.

We head down 6th ave. Ace pulls into a parking garage under a white building. The building is six stories high with pillars on the outside of double windows. We use the elevator when the car is parked. I enter what I can only imagine is the biggest penthouse in the world. Marbled floors contrast against the dark walls. The entryway opens up into an open living room area. A large brick fireplace is in the center of the room. The living room is filled with a long sectional white couch. It is covered in thick pillows. Throw blankets tossed on both sides of it. The house feels warm and welcoming. Despite the size, it is casually decorated.

"Ana, would you like some tea?" Iris says leading me into the kitchen. The kitchen is all stainless steel. A long birch wood table is stretched out on the right side of the room. I look up to admire my surroundings. The room has vaulted ceilings, over the table, a large chandelier dangles. I run my fingers over the glistening countertops. The house is filled with the aroma of vanilla and lavender. It's soothing.

"Ana, tea?" Iris is snapping her fingers at me. Her eyes are filled with concern.

"Sorry, yes please" I apologize.

"We only have English breakfast tea. It's all Ace drinks. Sorry" she says hurriedly pouring hot water into a teacup.

"That's actually my favorite,"

"Well you can join him in his obsession then" she rolls her eyes as Ace enters the room.

Iris hands a teacup to me, one over to Ace, and keeps one for herself.

"So, you two are roommates?" I try to make small talk with them.

Ace chuckles.

"It's a complicated story Ana," I place the teacup to my lips and sip slowly. The familiar warmth settles in my stomach. It's nice to have a little taste of home.

"I think I have a bit of time"

"Okay we can cover that, but after some food!" Ace playfully shoves Iris out of the way of the stove.

"Ace is the cook in this house, he loves cooking" Iris is smiling at him.

"I, on the other hand, can't cook a damn thing," She walks to the other side of the kitchen, picking up a bottle of champagne.

"Would you like a glass Ana?"

"Yes, I feel like I need that right about that"

Iris pours me a glass and lifts up her own clinking them together.

"To healing and survival Ana" I smile, feeling hopeful.

"Let me get in on that!" Ace says pouring the champagne and toasting me.

He cooks prime rib and mashed potatoes. I am nauseous at the sight of so much food in front of me. I take a bite knowing I need to eat.

"Ace this is incredible," he smiles with absolute pride filling his eyes.

"It's is my pleasure to serve" he jokes taking a playful bow at me.

I roll my eyes and continue eating. I eat all the food I am served. After the first couple of bites, it wasn't so bad. I know I need to start taking care of myself. I need to make it through this. I want to ask Ace and Iris questions but sleep is heavily pulling on my eyelids.

"I'm getting tired" I am leaning on the counter with my head on my crossed arms.

"Okay, let's get some sleep," my body fills with adrenaline. I am too scared to sleep but I need to so badly. I am terrified of being alone.

"What if Jack finds his way here" I state, panicked. My breathing quickens as I struggle to keep down all the food I just consumed.

Ace and Iris are next to me.

"Not a chance in hell" Ace's eyes are burning with rage. His knuckles are clenched in a fist.

"We have security outside the building all night" Iris reassures me softly.

The fact they have security makes me feel good enough to relax again.

Iris leads me to her room.

"Are you comfortable sleeping with me Ana?"

"Yes, I was going to ask you actually" My cheeks flush. I am embarrassed by my childish request.

Iris hands me some fleece pajamas. We crawl into bed and I fall asleep instantly. I hope I feel a bit more like myself in the morning.

I try to move but Jacks' body is holding me down. My wrists are tied. I try to fight him off of me. It's no use. I give up and cry, it's all I can do.

"So fucking hot when you cry Ana," he hisses in my ear.

The nightmare startles me awake. I am covered in sweat, hyperventilating. The sight of Iris sleeping beside me brings some solace. A nightlight is on beside me. I slowly get out of bed and head to the kitchen to get some water. There are night lights down the hallway. I am thankful for them. The pitch-black darkness would only make me panic. To my surprise, the kitchen light is on. As I enter the kitchen Ace turns to me, startled.

"Shit Ana," he laughs trying to hide how much I scared him.

"Sorry" I murmur and slowly get a glass from the kitchen filling it with water.

Ace is disheveled. Dark circles forming under his eyes. His hair is sticking straight up. Slumped over a laptop, his eyes are bloodshot and glassy. Paper notebooks are strewn all around him.

"Looks like some serious investigation work you got going on there," I try to joke with him.

"It's something like that," he closes his laptop and waits for me to sit next to him with my water.

"Ana, did you disconnect your phone?"

"No...why," I am concerned with how serious Ace is looking at me.

"Shit" he is shaking his head.

"Ana, I think Jack has been doing things for you under your name," my heart starts thumping.

"How?"

"He's your employer Ana, he has all of your information. Enough information to do anything under your name." I try my best to remain calm as Ace is explaining this.

"What has he done under my name?" I feel anger swelling inside of me. How much has Jack fucked with my life?

Ace is trying to remain calm as he hands me a list.

"Here are things I found that you have legally filled. Here are your phone and email records. That sounds creepy of me. I just want to make sure you're safe. The email correspondences from your work emails do not sound like you. I was concerned," I take the list quickly from his hands.

"I haven't used my work email yet," my voice trails off and I start reading the list Ace has compiled.

Legal Correspondences:

6/7 Anastasia Rose Steele files for a protection order against Christian Grey.

6/8 Anastasia Rose Steele files for security protection from Christian Grey. Christian Grey and his security team are not allowed within 1000 feet.

6/9 After multiple attempts of contact from Christian Grey. Anastasia Rose Steele requests a lawsuit via email.

6/10 Anastasia Rose Steele turns off her phone service. Christian Grey has called her hundreds of times. She remains contactable through her work email.

6/11 Anastasia Rose Steele drops the lawsuit with agreement from Christian Grey to not be contacted again.

6/16 A hearing between Anastasia Rose Steele and Christian Grey is planned for 6/23 at the request of Christian Grey to have confirmation of her well-being in person.

Christian has been trying to contact me this whole time.

My throat feels dry, I try to swallow the lump.

"Ace, I didn't do any of this," my voice is barely audible.

Ace hands me a stack of printed papers of my email. The first email to me was from Christian the day my email was created. I read it, tears splattering down the page in front of me.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Tomorrow

Date: June 8

Dear Anastasia

Forgive my intrusion at work. I hope that it is going well. Did you get my flowers?

I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show, and I'm sure you've not had time to purchase a car, and it's a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you-should you wish.

Let me know.

Christian Grey,

Ceo, Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc.

José had his art gallery, I had completely forgotten about it in the midst of my heartache. My hands shake thumbing to the next page to see my reply. Scared of what will appear in front of me.


To: Christian Grey

Subject: Re Tomorrow

Date: June 8

Dear Christian

I trust you must not have heard from your lawyers yet. I have requested a no-contact order from you as of yesterday. I am a grown woman and will have no trouble getting where I need to. When I need to. Thank you for your offer. Please resist the urge to contact me further.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP

I throw the pages down unable to read further. Christian has tried to contact me so many times since I left Escala. All the times I wished he would and he already had. Jack knew so much more about me than I thought. I had never described my relationship with Christian. How much did Jack know? My wandering thoughts come to a halt. 6/23 for the hearing with Christian. 6/23 is today.

"Ace I need to go back to Seattle, right now," I say choking back my sobs.

"Well hold on we need to figure out some details first," he speaks gently.

"Why, why do we have to wait, I'll just change my flight I'll leave now?" I search for my purse in the living room.

Ace is running after me trying to keep up.

"Ana, wait, we have to wait" I turn to him.

"No, we don't!" I find my purse, slinging it over my shoulder.

"Ana, it is three in the morning. There are no flights leaving for Seattle. Not now and not within the next couple of hours," I finally pause to listen to him. He is right, heading off to the airport won't help me.

"Jack also had hacked your bank accounts, taken money out in your name and you have no way to contact anyone," I sigh slumping down on the couch.

"So I have no money in my accounts? Was that what he did this for, for money?" Ace swallows hard.

"I think that's what they usually do it for, but we have some theories. I'll explain to you once we get to Seattle," My heart leaps.

I feel a smile spread across my face, and then, dread. Just because Christian contacted me doesn't mean he wants to be with me. It doesn't mean he has changed at all. He may have just wanted me to be safe. Can I face him right now?

"I have some things for you while you get back on your feet," Ace exits the living room and back into the kitchen. I can hear him rummaging through his piles of papers. He walks back towards me rolling a large black suitcase. The wheels clicking across the marble the whole way.

"This has some essentials in it, clothes, shoes, hygienic items," he places the suitcase next to me.

"And-" He pulls out his wallet and hands me a credit card.

"Use this how you need to don't worry about it, I've opened a new account for you. I transferred money to you. If you want to send it back after you figure somethings out I won't be offended. Just use it while you need it. Also a new phone, an active one." He hands me the box of the pale purple new iPhone. I try to reject everything he is giving me. Overwhelmed by the generosity. Guilt for being this low in life right now, but he interrupts me.

"Ana, how else are you suppose to get back to Seattle?" He has a point.

"Okay but only until I am back and then I will figure other things out," I give up arguing.

"I'll have a driver take us to the airport in an hour. I just need to make a few calls," He heads back to the kitchen before I can ask any questions.

I decide to shower before we leave. I look down at my body, every rib protruding. I feel frail. Looking at myself in the mirror is hard. Old makeup is running down both of my eyes. My body is drowning beneath the sea of pajamas I am entangled it. I step into the steaming shower wincing as the hot water scolds my body.

I start remembering Jack again. I try to push out thoughts of him with thoughts of seeing Christian. My mind is at war. Thoughts of Jack and his nasty hands trailing down my body in my dreams force themselves through. I rip the loofah from the shower shelf in front of me. There are dozens of fruity shower washes surround every inch of the shower. I squirt a mountain of a tropical scented one and scrub hard. I scrub every inch of my skin furiously. Dragging the loofah over and over again on my arms, legs, chest, and thighs. Until I am covered in a thick layer of soap. Troubling thoughts start bombarding me. What if I am no longer innocent to Christian? The allure of only being his, of him being the only one to touch me. What if it repulses him that someone else has touched my body. What if he is angry at me? what if he blames me? What if he tries to punish me? The thought shakes me. I can't even imagine the red room of pain right now. I just need to see him. I let the hot water wash over me. All the soap spins down the drain. I take a deep breath and exit the shower.